Reviewed By: firedryad [MediaMiner Member] On: July 25, 2003 15:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
another short fic... its definetly cute... but... to me, it doesnt sound like the characters are very... deep. i get the immpression that their just hollow little ppl that get crushes and then proceed to screw, with un-human speed. it might be a pwp, but that doesnt mean it should just be wham bam thank you... sir.. make the sex more interesting, and in depth. both the penetration scenes in this lasted only one paragraph, as if it just flew by.
interesting how its a guy writting this time though, esspecially one thats... 15 i belive? anyways, this isnt bad for ur 3rd lemon. keep writting. |
