| "Wands & Demons" Reviews/Comments [ 15 ] |
Title: Wands and Demons
Reviewed By: Oriya-Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2006 14:29 CST
Comment/Review:
- Thumbs up - You have some great imagination. I liked the way you orchistrated the characters, but it seemed to me that their reactions could have been abit better. Your sentance flow could use some work as well. Like Lady said, it would help you alot to get into touch with a Beta reader. They could help you on your sentance flow, and if nothing else, help you with your grammar and spelling. (Typo demons are the worst, I know that as a fact)Also, Microsoft Word should tell you when you have spelling and grammar mistakes by thoes red and green lines under your words or sentances.I am not trying to be harsh, I just wanted to help you since you said you were looking into being an author as a career choice.
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Reviewed By: Lady Macbeth [MediaMiner Member] On: December 16, 2003 16:37 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
The idea behind this fic is interesting. That said, it needs a lot of work. The technical writing flaws (spelling, grammar, sentence structure, paragraphing, punctuation and content) make it hard to read, disrupt the flow and make it a fic that many people will turn away from in the first chapter. The plot really needs to be developed more, and focus needs to be taken off of your original character - devoting entire paragraphs just to detailed description of Algernon turns the focus of the story away from the content of the story and to just that one character. Also, author's notes and commentary about chapters should really be added in your profile space or in the main summary area - having them interrupt the fic does just that: it interrupts the fic. Also, the chapter and fic summaries are what sells your fic - you'll want to have those proofread when the rest of your fic is proofread. One thing that I think will really help with your writing is finding and working with beta reader who is well experienced in both story development and technical writing. With those fixes, this fic could be much better, especially since your effort and dedication to this story are very apparent.
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Reviewed By: Zdawg [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2003 15:15 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
GOOD STORY! UDATE SOON!
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Reviewed By: KitsuneLover On: October 22, 2003 21:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey its me again, the new sentence says your a winner. I think. Anyway i'm gonna keep reading now.
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Reviewed By: KitsuneLover On: October 22, 2003 21:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, i know its too late but the spanish one said "the(femenine) cat(femenine) in your pants and the dog is in the cinema." Love your fic, can't wait to finish it and read the sequal. (i stopped halfway through to answer the spanish question)Keep writing!
)Kee |
Reviewed By: Kilea On: October 14, 2003 20:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
ooo! suspence! *dun dun dun!* ^^ cant wait till the next chappie. plz update soon!
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Reviewed By: Kilea859 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 09, 2003 21:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ahhh...and now the Yu Yu Hakusho part of the x over becomes clear. i wa wondering when they would make an apperence or at least be mentioned. ...and ok i really couldve translated that spanish if i -really- wanted to (and at least i knew it was spanish) but i have no clue to what this language is...but i already one once so i dont plan to win again.
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Reviewed By: Kilea On: October 06, 2003 21:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
ok this ones spanish right? i stopped taking spanish but i know it said something about pants and a dog in a movie theater?
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Reviewed By: Kilea859 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 26, 2003 21:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
lol. srry bout that then. just kinda a figure of speech with me thats all. but really *whistles* 15 chapters planed AND a sequal. thats so great...ive writen some fanfics before but i can never seem to stay with them so i just stick to poetry. ^.~ CIAO
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Reviewed By: Kilea859 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 23, 2003 07:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
OHhhh...well ok then thats good with me. man, you already have a sequal planed when this one isnt even finished? how long will this fic be? plz update soon^^
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Reviewed By: Kilea859 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 20, 2003 09:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
ok this is a good fic so far (except for some of the spelling) but how exactly...is this a YYH/HP xover? just wondering. plz update soon. |
Reviewed By: Kilea859 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 20, 2003 09:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
asson?? ok then |
Reviewed By: Arctic Fox (to lazy to sign in) On: September 02, 2003 14:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Awesome! Update soon! |
Title: Cool
Reviewed By: KuramaRose On: August 31, 2003 13:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
GO VI!! |
Title: ::does happy dance::
Reviewed By: Arctic_Fox [MediaMiner Member] On: August 31, 2003 12:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Cliffhanger. Joy. That was awesome! Kitty told me to read this, so I did, and now I love it! UPDATE SOON PLEASE!! |
