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| "Alternate Universe" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: You have some revising to do here.
Reviewed By: ladyvaltaya On: July 23, 2004 23:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
You have the makings of a good story here, but there are some things you need to keep in mind. One. Zarbon has a powerlevel of 33,000 give or take 1,000 or two. Zarbon is stronger than both kiwi&Dodoriabut he is not as strong as most of the Ginyue Force. At the beginning of the Saiyan Saga, Goku and Piccolo combined could barely handle Radditz. Radditz's powerlevel was 1,300-1,500 somewhere in there. Even together they couldn't even tickle Zarbon much less hurt him. At the beginning of the Saiyan Saga Vegeta only had a powerlevel of 7,000-18,000 the estimates vary. He would NOT be smarting off to Zarbon like that- even though he would be thinking it. If you do a little work on the action and make it a little more realistic according to everyone's actual powerlevels and portray Bulma as the brilliant problem solver she is, this will be an excellent story.
| Title: rotten_future16@yahoo.es
Reviewed By: Jude'S On: July 13, 2004 17:02 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I must admit I didn't really pay attention to spelling/grammar, but the story developed really well. I wasn't sure about the first and second chapter, but this one (4th) was well written and left enough in the dark to make me look forward to read more!
| Reviewed By: dbzgurl_34 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2004 00:29 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
this is a good story and would like to know what happens next. so i hope u will update. thankz for the review on my story. sorry it took me forever to read ur...but when i tried the first time it didnt work and that was foreverz ago sorry again but i finally went back to look at it and read my reviewz and read ur i came here. me is sorry again :( plz forgive me. laterzz 4now
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