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| "Un-Bend" Reviews/Comments [ 15 ] | Reviewed By: Plop On: October 18, 2015 05:08 PDT
Comment/Review:
You could do a similar style story for Rei, involving her and
SHinji going to a party, and Rei being picked up buy another guy.
| Reviewed By: Mr.Amused On: October 17, 2008 00:55 PDT
Comment/Review:
Wow slighlt ani-Asuka eh? I am a Rei man myself. Always have been always will be but I find a sensual relationship between Asuka and Shinji is always refreshing and always gets to me more (odd words hmmm...?) Now a couplin glike this well... its... hilarious to say the least. A full chamber into Kaji's chest (that wanker needs to just stick to misato) and a fully charged taser to Red's face. Being a fan of horror/demented stories I give you encore on account of your creativity to kill a charcter off. the taser being my main thought. Try cleaning up some of the grammar next time though, only problem i saw.
| Reviewed By: Rat07 On: July 10, 2006 22:22 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow, this fic was really nice. Ha, I didn't know Shinji had it in him to do that. Keep up the good work.
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Pahhur [MediaMiner Member] On: August 26, 2005 06:04 PDT
Comment/Review:
This is an interesting concept, however there are many problems. The first is that you repeat the character's names too much. It gets overly boring and repetitive. As far as boring goes, omit the useless words. Do we really need to know that English was boring? Did that add to the story in any way, shape, or form. Now, I'm no expert in grammar, but even I spotted an abundance of problems here. I would suggest finding a Beta Reader to assist you with this. Not to mention that you put spaces too many times. Also, the last few lines... Are dull. Literally, you can summerize an entire love life in three lines or so, but the audience will not appreciate it. Also good things do not befall murderers, your basically saying it's okay to go and kill two people because yer pissed that they had sex. On a lighter note, thank you for submitting to FFARG.
| Reviewed By: DarkYggdrasil [MediaMiner Member] On: March 28, 2005 20:53 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
With exception to the sex scenes, as WarpWizard said this story is very well written. So well written that for around half the story I was convinced, and am still to a certain extent, that some of this was taken from a persons real point of view. I've seen dark Evangelion fan fiction of this type before, yet the tone and mood set in this piece is disturbing to say the least. I think instead of focusing on lemons you should look into creating more eerily creepy dark fiction and focus less on the sexual themes. Which is what the story actually seems to suffer from. The idea that this will be a lemon and therefore 5 pages of story and then a nice satisfying sex scene while the audience is given the very, very creepy story. Nice job, hope to see more like it in the future
| Title: good
Reviewed By: blood [MediaMiner Member] On: February 08, 2005 20:51 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i like your writings there on the verge of perfection to me good and i always loock foreward to good stories. ps,entere the fanfic contest
| Reviewed By: Guruhoro [MediaMiner Member] On: October 01, 2004 14:47 PDT
Comment/Review:
Ah, forgot. Shinji was the tragic character who was betrayed by life and stuff. But if you reverse it, and look from Asuka's side... Shinji was a Stalker. A freaking stalker with unrealistic expectations, and violent reactions. From Asuka's, or the society's, point of view, he was a sicko bad guy. Funny, ain't it, how the subjective viewpoint can turn it all around. Just a thought, it was. Well, I'm the expert of getting odd ideas and combining concepts to get the strangest brain sparks. You know, because you have read my 'fic...
| Reviewed By: Guruhoro [MediaMiner Member] On: October 01, 2004 14:38 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
Interesting. I'm usually not fond of Alternate Universes, but this was good-ish. Heck, just ignore me, I'm drunk right now. But anyway, A pretty dark story overall. I like dark stories; they make me laugh. Muahhahhaw. So, More specific. Good spelling and grammar, which are something of a rarity nowadays. Kudos. Style of writing: effective. The scattered sentences are a good device, but I didn't take Shinji for such a psychotic character. I think it would have been more effective to reserve it to the end of the story, to enhance the dream-like image of Shinji just stepping in and letting his gun blaze. The very last part about the future sort of dissappointed me. It was too abrupt, and differed from the style of the rest of the story. Ach, I'm too tired and drunk, I've got to stop rambling. Just reviewed you back, you know. Well, bye.
| Title: Undying Love
Reviewed By: Treeves On: August 16, 2004 02:51 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yo....that was some hot shit....That reminded me of a song called "undying love" by nas
| Reviewed By: The Truth On: May 26, 2004 14:19 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've got...no words...it was...amazing. Simply chilling. It's...increidble. Superb writing and amazing story. I will say this: It's the only alternate universe fic I have ever liked. BTW: Find a site or a book on dreams and look up white rooms and the occurance of blood. Now that's creepy.
| Title: uhh...
Reviewed By: Me On: May 21, 2004 02:29 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
well it was nice but it creeped me out man...
| Reviewed By: WarpWizard [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2004 19:20 PDT
Comment/Review:
Whoa. Pretty well written, though it breaks up a bit during the sex. I don't know if you're an ultimate Shinji/Rei fan or what...
| Title: =|
Reviewed By: gav_doa [MediaMiner Member] On: May 15, 2004 16:09 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Damn dude! Strange to say the least... DOA
| Reviewed By: Mr. Pointy On: May 15, 2004 05:04 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Creepy, but really good. I'm wondering why you changed Asuka from half-German to half-Russian. It was a bit odd, that's all. Good stuff though.
| Title: Big Long Review
Reviewed By: Chaos Damn It [MediaMiner Member] On: May 12, 2004 20:09 PDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Damn dude, i don't know what to say. After i read this sroty, i was compelled to say something...so here it goes. That was a very deep little romp in to the psyche of Shinji and you did a very nice job of it. Took shinji in to a whole 'nother dimension of feelings and actions other than his usual depressed self loathing while keeping his persona intact. Very nice. The same goes for Asuka, not so much anger, but instead a more...expressive and...wild side. Very wild. And it suited her perfectly. While i was a little dissapointed that Shinji didn't end up with Asuka (I'm a die hard S/A fan), I couldn't imagine it ending any other way. Not so much dark as it is just plain sad; shows us people can have all the information, assume all that they want, let their dreams take over their lives, and then go off the deep end when they have to face reality...but who says that it can't have a happy ending? Ha ha, I like your style and how you write so kudos to you and keep up the good work. - Chaos Damn It
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