| "Unexpected Chances" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: Mana-Chan On: March 10, 2005 17:03 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
^_^ This is a really neat fic. And I really can't think of anything to guess. XD Yay, Hiei made an apearence! ^_^ Can Kurama make another apearence PLEASE! *puppy eyes*
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Title: Chapter 7
Reviewed By: Okaasan-7 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2005 16:26 CST
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
As far as mechanics go, you need to proofread or find a beta to do it for you. As far as the actual story, I think it is very interesting and I am really looking forward to finding out what happens next. Also, I need more Hiei! I was wondering if Voldemort is pulling a Naraku but I think Onigumo was out of it while the demons ate him. Anyways, whatever is going on, Hiei may need to call in Kuwabara!
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Title: Chapter 4
Reviewed By: Okaasan-7 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2005 16:21 CST
Comment/Review:
Ask and ye shall receive! Thanks for the dashes setting of the scene changes. "but since Japanese was the main language here he attempted to do read itthough hecheck it often" -- This, apparently, got mangled into incomprehensibility on upload.
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Title: Chapters 2 and 3
Reviewed By: Okaasan-7 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2005 15:51 CST
Comment/Review:
I don't really have much concrete to say. "He had cut it after it had past his a comfortable length." There are a few places like this where in you rush words are omitted. Also, when the scene or POV changes could you please throw up a line of asterisks or something to demark the change for dolts like myself who need a flag?
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Title: Review of Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Okaasan-7 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 19, 2005 15:37 CST
Comment/Review:
I like the idea of a character coming from the HP-verse to the YYH-verse instead of the same old "Hiei is the new DADA professor". Unfortunately, not the big HP fan so I can't tell how good your characterization of Sirius is. Kudos for having Kuwabara as the reiki model and and only saying "He wasn't the handsomest". "It was a couple of hours but he then got lucky and managed to catch an unlucky rabbit that got in his path. He luckily had been on the path" -- I think luck may be a bit oversued in these two sentences. I didn't understand why it took Botan 2 days to fetch Black. "(Since I don't like King Enma, let say Koenma over threw him or was given the position. If you don't like I'll change it back.)" -- I feel than an AN in the middle of a chapter takes the reader out of the flow. "You can learn to train your Reiki, and have the position as a guide." -- I sthis the ferry girl thing or a different guide? It wasn't clear to me. I tried my hardest to make paragraphs but I apologize if you are seeing one giant block. . One last thing... "Koenma looked like he was about to blow a casket and annoyed at the thing and papers." -- Is this a joke because Spirit World and all that? If not, the word is usually "gasket".
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Reviewed By: Ryuko [MediaMiner Member] On: August 09, 2004 02:39 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this is the very first HP YYH crossover I read and I have to say I like it! I'm adding it to my faveorates so update soon okay?
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Title: ^__^
Reviewed By: Cheery Angst On: August 04, 2004 13:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wonderful! i like the originality of the fic! I liked your explaination of reiki youki and natural reiki. It was written very well. congradulations. i can't wait for your next update.
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Reviewed By: Lady Lyonsse On: August 01, 2004 22:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a very good story so far. It's different from the other yyh/hp crossovers and I think it works better than the others. very good so far, keep up the good work and update soon
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