| "Diary" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] |
Reviewed By: mischief maker(notloggedin) On: August 10, 2005 17:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow! This was great. So very realistic. Two thumbs up! ^__^
|
Title: just read this
Reviewed By: rose of vegetasei On: June 03, 2005 11:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
This was such a great story, Lisa. I think it had a weak beginning - the sentence structure seemed a bit choppy and I think you could have done without all the "I say" (it's a bit distrcting, imho). But once the plot got flowing, the fic was a beautiful piece. Believe it or not the part where Yamcha imagined what Bulma and Vegeta may have done in the bedroom disgusted me (who knew? LOL). I've been cheated on so I can sympathise with Yamcha on that. I think this was one of the more realistic fic focusing on Yamcha finding out about Bulma and Vegeta and his reaction to it. We see in the manga and anime that Yamcha is still upset over B/V as was seen when Gohan asked if Bulma and Yamcha finally had a kid together and Yamcha says "he's not mine" with that scowl and crossed arms. Wonderful work. One more thing: "I wouldn't have hurt you unless I sure that there was something there for me"..perhaps it should have been "...unless I was sure that..." I'm not sure if you meant to have written it that way or if it is an actual mistake.
|
Reviewed By: dbz-fan-jess; not logged in On: June 02, 2005 23:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
wow that was beautifully written... You did a fantastic job and I love how Yamacha found out. It was refreshing and different than most of the versions you read. Awesome job making this interpretation of their breakup. You could really feel the emotions and the heart break of the characters fantastic job.
|
Reviewed By: Bardockgurl [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2005 06:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
O.o How did I miss this before?? (MM not telling me about your updates and the fact that I rarely visit MM to trawl for stories, I expect) I am SO glad I found this now - it's such a lovely, refreshing change to read something by someone who actually bothers to write Yamcha as he is in the series - Lord knows what show the 'Drunk, rapist Yamcha' brigade are watching... O.o You've captured the emotions wonderfully - I felt so sad for both parties by the end. I loved how you showed that sometimes break-ups are no one's 'fault' they just happen. It's no easier on anyone involved - but it still happens. Thank you for showing a more 'realistic' approach to these two - I happen to be very fond of the pair of these characters and their affection for each other - the fact that it's a very well written, mature story about a relationship breakdown is a real bonus, I can tell you. Thanks for sharing it with us - now I'm off to hug the notifications dept at MM for letting me know you'd revised it :D
|
Reviewed By: Darke Angelus [MediaMiner Member] On: December 13, 2004 10:50 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've always believed that Yamcha never had anything but the most noble of intentions for Bulma where her fixation on Vegeta was concerned. You've explored another facet of their unique friendship under very believeable circumstances. Thanks for the great read.
|
Reviewed By: amyw On: October 27, 2004 07:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
I almost wanted Yamcha to win Bulma back after reading this! This was an intense fic, and I liked this break-up version even better than your other Yamcha fic.
|
Title: Diary
Reviewed By: mlf On: October 26, 2004 17:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
great story...is thee going to be more???i hope so...maria
|
Reviewed By: phantomscribe72-not logged in On: October 25, 2004 20:42 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow. You know, I honestly think this is the best work you've done to date. Don't worry about MM.org screwing up your format, the fic flowed wonderfully. It just goes to show you shouldn't pry into the secrets of others; you rarely find anything you want to know. Poor Yamcha...
|
Reviewed By: Denmark de la Croix [MediaMiner Member] On: October 22, 2004 18:16 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i haven't thought of that song in years. i like your yamcha. i like him not being a jerk. and i'm a sucker for crying baseball players. still can't stand bulma, even though you painted her pretty sympathetic, here. very enjoyable read.
|
Title: just me stopping by...
Reviewed By: debbiechan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 14, 2004 22:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
what's the freakin deal with mediaminer that it left your italics intact (at least as far as I could see!) Ember's and mine get messed up but yours don't??? Anyway, I like this piece, and I'm glad you wrote another one for Yamcha. So far your "break up" fics have really focused on his character, not Bulma's, and you are hereby awarded the "Redeemer of Yamcha" certificate of recognition. The bit with Yamcha's thoughts as he reads the diary, his very guy-like fantasy over what B may have done with V--even in his grief--all just perfect! I was planning to keep Yammie all to myself this winter but I think you've earned him for a spell!! *wakes up Yammie-kun* "I've got something I want you to read! Oh don't give me that look--it's something about you!" Good Yammie story LisaB!
|
