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| "Deluge" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: sueb262 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 16, 2005 02:00 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
One of the most original starts I've read! Wonderful interaction among the characters. You promised an update, so I'm eagerly awaiting it.
| Reviewed By: angel8818 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2005 00:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This looks like such a good plot already, i'm sure it will be fantastic, i mean if it is anything like failed it will be unbelievably good. Plz update soon and thanx in advance angel8818
| Title: FFARG Review (Ch. 1 Cont)
Reviewed By: Aquamarine [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2005 23:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
(Cont. from last review) Your original characters seem very interesting, as well. Their introduction was natural. You didn't set them up as the main characters, but you left us with the feeling that they are important parts of the plot. Your spelling is perfect. (Woot!) Now, then… About the "smaller turns of phrase" that Nekotsuk "lost you a mark for." Mostly, your writing flows well and is easy to read. There is one phrase you might want to fix, though - "Kenshin blinked. All right. A child." I'm not sure what was meant by "all right." Is he thinking that everything is all right… or is it more of a confused "Ooookaaaay… a kid?" One last thing; it would be nice to see a list of Japanese terms and their meanings at the end (or beginning) of your chapter. It makes your story easier to read for those who might not be familiar with them. As I said before, I enjoyed reading this chapter. I'm going to put you on my author alerts list, because I'm really interested in seeing where you go with this. ~ Aquamarine
| Title: FFARG Review (Ch 1)
Reviewed By: Aquamarine [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2005 23:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
Kellen, I can't fit everything I want to say in only 1,500 characters. I'll just have to break my comments up into a couple reviews. I'm sure you won't mind. ^_~ I did, indeed, enjoy the ride! You had my interest from the very first sentence. Likewise, the final part of the chapter was fabulous. A dark-eyed man with an evil plot hiding in the shadows, watching our heroes? (And this guy thinks that fighting Battousai is merely "pushing it?") I must know what will happen next! I do suggest, however, when you segue to The Bad Guy ™, that you don't start with his thoughts. It confused me at first, because I didn't realize you would be changing perspectives. If you instead start with your second sentence - "Dark eyes tracked the woman and boy's progress through the market" - or similar, then the reader will know you're focusing on someone new. As for your characters, I think they're very accurate so far. Kenshin's thought, "Of course, with my luck, it'd turn out to be a dwarf master swordsman with some strange new technique who possesses the power to hide his ki," did seem to be a little out of place, though. (That is to say, it WOULD be just his luck, however I'm not sure Kenshin would actually think that.) Keep in mind, however, that I only know Kenshin from the manga. I understand that characters in the anime can have a different "voice" than they do in the graphic novel, so if you disagree with me, it's all good. (Cont. in next review)
| Reviewed By: Nekotsuki [MediaMiner Member] On: March 16, 2005 03:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I lost you a mark just because some of the smaller turns of phrase. ^_^ All in all really enjoyable and I'm STILL waiting on your second chapter! *taps feet* hehe. Yes, it's Nekotsuki here. I was just surfing through this archive for the first time and noticed you'd never been reviewed. This is a heinous crime! Had to fix it. :)
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