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| "The Mansion" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: creepy
Reviewed By: Jehuty Zero [MediaMiner Member] On: July 29, 2005 17:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story is extreamily well written. Nice job on the plotline. I found this fic to be truly amusing.
| Title: FFARG review
Reviewed By: BakaBokken [MediaMiner Member] On: May 17, 2005 23:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
*snicker* Err, sorry. *turns business-like* Thank you for submitting this to FFARG. Yes, this did have very demented humor, but at least it's well-written demented humor. XD Overall, your descriptions, flow, structure, and style are all very nicely done. I had little trouble picturing the mansion itself, and your rather sadistic sense of humor shone through brilliantly, especially with the last line. Nice work. My only critique would be on the character descriptions - as the story was short, I had a tough time attaching to any one character except the narrator, and I also had trouble picturing them in my mind. With such a short amount of space, it's understandably hard to develop characters; however, I think you could have done a slightly better job in that regard. The drinking aspect really helped, as did dialogue, but I had issues at times tracking which character was which. (Of course, that could be just me, since I've been staring at the computer screen too much today...) Overall, I think this is an awesome piece, and I very much enjoyed reading it! Great work.
| Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: May 11, 2005 11:13 CDT
Comment/Review:
I enjoyed this. The wry voice of your character lent a nice feel to the storytelling, and the characterizations were very believable. Good pacing, great attention to details, I was very impressed with this piece. The only thing I might have liked to see was a little more kick to the ending, as in more of the fight, more of the escape. Those things don't detract from the overall story, IMO, and I enjoyed this fic a lot!
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