Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction ❯ Valkyrie's Mirror ❯ Act Boredom I ( Chapter 8 )

Oh My Goddess! - Valkyrie's Mirror

 

Volume II

 

Act Boredom

 

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Sifting.. sneaking... being careful, being cautious. They could discover what he is doing any minute. Everything was depending on not being seen. And he `had' to get at an enemy that proved more elusive than the Soulless had been. He couldn't let this prize slip past! There was just too dang much at..

 

“COUSIN!!!”

 

Belldandy's shrieking voice of a whine, just hit Imlade to the core once again as always! He scampers and scrambles, but in so trying. “There he is!!” ..and a blue bubble force field suddenly forms around him, as a knight is snared in a goddess bear trap again! "Dang nabbit!"

 

Keiichi pops his head out of his room, into the hallway. “Who?! What!? Wha... eh? Ah no... man, not again!?!”

 

At this, Lind, Urd and Skuld appear, as the sphere of ice energon encapsulates a agitated, mumbling protector. Belldandy just walks over and nabs through the shield a dust pan and a mini-broom. She just accuses.. “You did it again! You know your duties.” ..this Urd `agrees'.. “Yeah, why do you keep insisting on doing that? This is the sixth time this week we caught you.”

 

Imlade just colors himself annoyed. “I like a challenge. One day I'll clean something under your noses.”

 

Keiichi just cocks his eyes as Skuld and Lind just leer over the knight. “How come he can't just clean something for once?”

 

Belldandy just sighs and explains. “Remember, Cousin has to attend his duties in a near constant state, since his knightly title is also his source of powers. Given his duties here to us, to let him conduct mundane duties too much not befitting a knight or samurai, would actually be detrimental.”

 

Keiichi just blinks cock-eyed at this, as Skuld growls. “Yeah. Just what we need is Keiichi's life to be in danger, while you're playing housekeeper!”

 

Imlade just accuses back! “Aw come on! You make it sound like if I got a job at Howard Johnson's, it'd be the end of the Universe!”

 

“You `would' cause it like that.”

 

“Lind! ACK!! St.. stop... Lind my neck!! Gulachhk..!!”

 

Keiichi just keeps coloring himself confused. “I still don't really get it.”

 

Urd just mocks back. “Typical mortal.” ..which frazzles K1 nice and annoyed. Belldandy just sighs and scolds Imlade (again.) “Cousin this has to stop! Apparently even reminders from Almighty are not enough to stop this behavior.”

 

Imlade just groans back. “But I'm..”

 

“Bored. Yes we know.” All around him quip in simult. This makes Imlade frazzle even worse than Keiichi's had been. He then snap retorts back. “Well `you' try to be some high and mighty blowhard that everyone looks up to so dang much, to the point I need to humiliate myself somehow, to stop this spiral of glory that drives me crazy!! I need to be mundane, and this Title actually prevents me from doing it! I can't believe this has become REAL physical restraint!”

 

Urd just blinks. “Wow. You take being humble to new lows man.”

 

“Gee.” Imlade teardrops at. Keiichi just chuckles. “I don't think he's too high-mighty and all that. Seems like a normal Joe to me.”

 

Urd then just quips. “Typical mortal.”

 

“Cut that out!! Wait, what are you..?” Kei blinks at, before Urd remarks. “You might think him normal, as most other mortals here on this world would. All fine and well good for him and you. But for `us' of the System above, the actions and tales he's conducted, when combined with our own goddess merits of emotional physicality, are nowhere near normal for us.”

 

Keiichi blinks and points to Bell (whom just blushes unto,) “Um, shouldn't it be Bell that talks so smart?”

 

Urd growls with very real static visible, as Skuld just laughs. “Nice one K-boy, Urd usually is a dumb... ACK!! Urd! AIIEEEEE!!!”

 

Lind just sighs as Bell looks on with a small teardrop, while Urd chases Skuld to vent by around the Temple. Keiichi blanches. “Why do they make their fights like it was a Midwestern States storm in America?”

 

Lind just ignores it all, and simply picks up for Urd.. “As it is, beloved here, by his nominal conduct and actions, history and more as a knight by all earned title, is to us a nigh lustful thing to revere. The elements that mortals cannot understand at your third dimensional level, exists as real as the physical for us, including emotions and deeds.

 

You should know some of that effect, from having an Angel Receptor and experiencing Belldandy's Melds.”

 

Keiichi blushes deeply, and a look at Bell. “Wow. Sure do.”

 

Belldandy then picks up from here, with deep blushing in continuance. “As you know, we require converters through Spirits to maintain our ability to remain here, and on Yggdrasil through to the same for our spells and other effects. We'd not be able to remain our presence here in this Dimension, without these functions that even we here take for granted.

 

By these laws and functions, we are governed here. Cousin is no less so intertwined in these rules now.”

 

“I don't wana hear this again.” Imlade moans, but Bell continues on heedless. (Even ignoring the words moaned.) “While the secrets of Cousin's Title are uncertain to us, they were apparently set by Father by His goodness and all Will. That makes them law and all effect thereof.”

 

Keiichi listens enraptured, as Lind picks up to Imlade's annoyance evermore. “We can only guess, but much of the Title's rules and bylaws may have been set by governance of history, of what other individuals of his type call common. And since Almighty knows `much' for what to govern how to bestow Title and privilege alike, that may be proscribed as Law under the Title, and through those, conduct the same functions as we goddesses here are ruled by. These two dissimilar modes to the same Licensed effects.”

 

Keiichi scratches his head. “Okay. I think you said he was like you guys with that license stuff.”

 

Bell nods. “Yes. He attained equivalency as a First Class goddess, through his trails and training. He even passed Tests equivalent to the same.”

 

“Not we need bother reminding.” Lind dryly remarks. Bell just giggled as even Keiichi knew what `that' attested to unto enamored history.

 

---

 

Chrono... “Ewwww... Eihwa!!! You're going to give us all a System virus!”

 

The White Goddess just sniffles her nose. “Someone just said ill of me. Io credere ciecamente esso!”

 

Ex just retorted, covering her mouth. “Yeah, well.. can you accuse someone else in a different direction, so we can breathe?”

 

“Donna molto bella.” ..Eihwa just seethed back in comical retort. The three just ignore her rant after as usual.

 

---

 

Keiichi then blinks. “So what do we do with him?”

 

Lind and Bell just cradle their chins in their hands, as Imlade just adopts a patient meditative pose. Keiichi tries to ignore the constant celestial blasts outside, when Belldandy offers. “Maybe he just needs a more relevant focus.”

 

Keiichi blinks.. “What would that be?”

 

"Maybe he should try various things around here, and see what he can improve upon." ...this Lind blinks a bit. Keiichi for once, was a bit leery, seeing Imlade look that thoughtful.

 

------

 

Keiichi just sighed.

 

“Dude, gold dude. I know you like to help, but...” ..this as he looks at his `bike'. Imlade, looking like some super sci-fi version of a mechanic tech of some sort, just standing there and looking happy as a kitty, holding some kind of hyper futuristic looking tools, as he quips. “I thought this'd get you to work faster after all we've been through.”

 

“Yeah, but I can't fly a bike!!”

 

This as the Beemer is still `essentially' a two seater and all, with the rest of it, `essentially' a hyper-podic racer like bike, complete with glowing power lines that run to.. “Are those Jumbo Jet engines?” ..Keiichi notes to the two OVERSIZED drive engines.

 

Imlade just quips. “You could make California and back before breakfast was over with these.”

 

Keiichi was just interested enough to go.. “Wow.”

 

He was then prodded to test it, and promptly shot up straight up to near open space!

 

After Bell saved him as always, Imlade was `prompted' to repair it all back.

 

------

 

Belldandy just sighed.

 

She just looked as Imlade made like some chef from that Cast Rust and Tin cooking show thing, as Skuld poked at.. “This is lunch?”

 

Imlade just blinked. “What? This is good roughage, full of protein. Only the best from my perspective.”

 

Urd cocked an eye. “It's a bunch of MREs and C-rations.” ..and Skuld.. “Did you get into your rations again?”

 

Keiichi meanwhile was wrestling to take a bit from some dry meat jerky. (And wrestling was hardly inaccurate.) Imlade just groaned. “You know, I lived on this stuff for years. It did me just fine.”

 

Keiichi just fell over suddenly, as Urd just snipped, tossing her chopsticks. “Now I know how they felt on MASH.”

 

They then heard chewing. Most look as Lind eats away readily. She then stops and quips with a mouthful. “What? -gulp- I like it.”

 

Skuld/Urd: “Military types.”

 

Course then came Bell's offerings (as if it `was' that cooking show.) “Um.. sorry if it's only my usual fare.”

 

Everyone else, not of Coz mode, just cried happily.

 

Belldandy: 40/40 points. Imlade: 1/40 points. (At least Lind gave a sympathy vote.)

 

------

 

Urd just sighed.

 

“Aren't you supposed to help Sigrun or something?”

 

Imlade.. “That's the next act.”

 

“Fine. Hand me the Imp Gall.”

 

“Here.”

 

“And the Summer Bolete Cap.”

 

“Kay.”

 

“Ginseng.”

 

“Hereio.”

 

“Wormwood leaves.”

 

“Eeyup.”

 

“And... oh, the Milk Thistle Seeds.”

 

Imlade hands it over and then asks as Urd does her voodoo-goddess magic. “Whatcha making Migoddess?”

 

Urd finished with a glowy poof of voodoo-mysticism. She then turned and produced a small bottle of something bluish and glowy. She then attached a spray apparatus unto the top and remarked. “Pest remover.”

 

Imlade cocked and eye, and then was promptly sprayed.

 

---

 

Bell... “Good heavens.” ...as the steps below her were shaking again. She, Kei and Skuld watched as Imlade ran past for the seventeenth time, and along with.. “He keeps gaining followers.” ..as Kei notes a gaggle of white jumpsuited fems are chasing after him!

 

More and more of them as it turns out. “SOMEONE STOP THEM ALREADY!! URD!!!!!”

 

Skuld just blinks and wrings her ears out. “His voice needs to stop.” Urd then pops up with Lind, (the latter using great restraint mind ye,) the former giving Lind a new bottle. “There. The antidote to the Personality Magnetizer potion I made. At least he'll stay out of our hair for awhile.”

 

“How'd they all get here?”

 

“Remember Gate has her planar junction located here dear?”

 

Keiichi remarks back to Bell. “Oh. Yeah.”

 

“SOMEONE HELP ME!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!” ...somewhere out of sight.

 

Lind however takes the bottle, but shrugs. “Eh, maybe later. He needs some special exercise.”

 

Urd blinks back. “How cruel. I like.” ..this as the white-Valkyrian `stream' keeps passing by along the roadway in front of the Temple.

 

------

 

Lind just sighed.

 

"Common! Common!" ...this Lind pucked her lips, as Imlade shoo about a hundred Valkyries back through Gate, who stood nearby, looking rather gleeped in facade, as she complained. "I can't take 'that' many travelers at once! Are you crazy?!"

 

That wasn't the problem however. This as one random Valkyrie just quipped. "Is he really trying to shoo 'us' home?" ...this as the antidote, didn't help against Imlade's own impetuous dopiness. One Imlade tried to continue anyway. Keiichi seeing this from afar, knew better. "Did that spray. Muddle his brain?"

 

And since Imlade-dork didn't get it, another random... wait... is that Phosus who... "LIND!!!"

 

Imlade just gets punt kicked, face first into a Temple wall, by a loving boot. (Ow.)

 

------

 

Skuld didn't sigh.

 

“Here, try this Coz.” ..as she hands a badly trampled, and face smashed Imlade some comics of some kind. “Eh? What's this rag?”

 

Skuld just huffs. “It's study material. The characters in them all have weird backgrounds of tragedy of some kind, before becoming heroes and save the city every day, while in strange suits or tights or something.

 

I think they have constant love problems too.”

 

“I heard that.” ..came Lind's voice from elsewhere in the residence. Skuld just plopped a bunch of said comics into Imlade's arms, and shooed him out hurriedly. “There. Now just read them and see if they give you an idea. I need to pack.”

 

Imlade looked at the shut door, and walked on out, passing Lind.. “Excuse me.” ..on her way to have a `chat'.

 

Imlade just ends up in the temple, and starts reading. “Okay. So, this stuff is sorta about me. In some fictitious way. Hmm..” ...and opens the first page of...

 

---

 

Exasperated news Reporter: “It's pandemonium down here at the Nekomi Police Station, as cops went on strike today! Sir! Can you comment on this lack of chaos today!”

 

Police Commissioner: “We had over 2,000 citizen arrests today, and another 50,000 plus reports of minor stuff like jaywalking and walking on grass, all stopped by some weirdo in a white suit and cape! Or was it armor. We don't know!”

 

Officer running up: “Sir! What will we do! I can't feed my wife and kids if this keeps up!”

 

Another Officer: “Sir! I got hand cramps from doing too much paper work!”

 

A fat officer: “SIR! The donut shop stopped taking Krispy Kremes in protest!! What'll we do!!!”

 

Commissioner: “Please! Whoever is doing this! Stop please! The jails are overfilled and the cops underworked!” ..a cough from the second officer.. “Oh, excluding the desk cops. Wait.. GET BACK TO WORK YOU WUSS!!”

 

Just then, some female with short dark hair scrambles away from the cops and to the TV camera! “I know who did this! I swear when he gets to work, I'll.... OW! HEY! WATCH THE PEPPER SPRAY!!!” ..as she's dragged away by some overzealous cops looking for `something' to do! “Stop her!! She's crazy!!!”

 

“Use the Tazer on her!!”

 

The reporter just teardrops. “Uhh.. yeah, it's been a weird day folks. But at least the crime rate is the lowest in all recorded history, or something. Uh... yeah.”

 

---

 

Keiichi just looks ready to cry, looking at the telly. “Don't you know anything about moderation dude?!”

 

Imlade, dressed in only a Valkyrie jumpsuit and a cape with an `I' symbol on the chest, just decries. “It was Skuld's idea! I swear!”

 

Belldandy just sighs. “Cousin. They have lives to support too.”

 

Urd moans. “I'll get the potion out again, I swear it.”

 

Keiichi nearly goes get it himself! “Let me get it! Chihiro's going to kill him anyway! I want to help!”

 

Imlade just huffs anime annoyed. “Well pardon moi. Just because she was speeding on the way up here.”

 

Keiichi growls. “Did you forget we like to race up on Inoku-radi circuit?!”

 

“Uh...” Imlade `remembers'. K1 and Urd both actually `fight' to get at that potion. Bell however remarks in exasperation. “Where's Skuld-kun anyway?”

 

Keiichi remarked. “I think Lind said something about `special' training.” ...this Urd's face blanches at.

 

---

 

“But we did this all already in Vol. I, Act VII!!”

 

“Stop complaining and pull at that solar flare!! I still remember that `blanket' trick you helped pull!”

 

Skuld just anime cries as an old and crispy memory is relived.

 

“(x6) Then why are `we' here!?!?!”

 

Lind just snaps. “I remember what you did back then too! Give me another reason, I dare to care!”

 

Skuld.. “Can't believe I hit that Mount Olympus thing `again'!”

 

“Keep pulling goddess!!!” ..ala shouty Lind.

 

------

 

-later that day-

 

Imlade just sits dejected at the top of the steps of the Temple. This he sits in silence, as he smells someone come up. He looks up as Skuld, ala crispy, remarks. “You still in that girly suit?”

 

“Yeah. Thanks for the `study material', and you're overdone pray tell.”

 

Skuld huffs, but then walks over and sits down next to Imlade. Urd then shows up with Troubadour all over her. Both note and cock of eye.

 

“I uh... got that potion sprayed on me by Keiichi.”

 

All three then note as Keiichi appears, draped over by Belldandy!? “I got sprayed too.”

 

Imlade blinks at that. “I thought Urd's potions didn't affect you two.”

 

Urd scritches her head. “Yeah, didn't think a personality potion would be a catch all like this. At least we're not hyperactively screaming like you did.”

 

Imlade quickly has three Norns, a cherished mortal, and a Tree Spirit that Urd keeps trying to wrench off her... “Will you get lost till next Act?!!” ...all sit around him. Belldandy then remarks up, between overpowering desires to hug the stuffings out of Keiichi. “This has been an interesting day.”

 

Skuld just sighs. “I think the old manga chapters were calmer than this.”

 

Imlade just tries to offer... “I can just go back to trying to clean...”

 

Everyone else: “No.”

 

Imlade throws a fit.

 

Just then, the sound of engines pull up, and then some shutting doors, as Megumi, Keiba, Keima and Takano appear, all laden for a Morisato sponsored feast. They appear and see the sight at the Temple steps, all coming up as Keima quips. “Typical day I see.”

 

Keiichi just blames.. “Gold guy was `bored'.”

 

Imlade then frazzles at the sight of Keima and Keiba paying their respective betters for bets. Takano adding.. “Told ya blokes.” ..Megumi.. “Yay, more gas money.”

 

Imlade was going to quip at this, when two more engines suddenly are heard, Keiichi.. “What now?” ..before SCREECHING tires are heard! Urd just quips. “I think it's for you Coz.”

 

“Peachy.”

 

Some half expected stomps of fury bring a `Whirlwind' unto sight of everyone. This as Chihiro huffs her shades of manic at a held in place Cousin. (Urd: “Forget it bub.” Skuld: “I wana see `this'!”)

 

“Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu !!!!!”

 

Imlade.. “Um... sorry? Also it was Skuld's...”

 

Skuld quickly jabs back. “No superhero comics ever said much about jailing jaywalkers and common speeders.”

 

Chihiro just seethes and huffs and puffs and so on so, as Imlade just quips. “I can be fired if...”

 

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh no you don't!” ..said in some unearthly tone. “That would be too easy! I have `better' in mind for you boy!

 

LIND!!”

 

Belldandy just nuzzled Keiichi as she commented to Immy.. “I will send Father your regards.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

------

 

Party central.

 

Morisatos, Fujimis, goddesses, Kawanishis. Even a partying demon or two were having a time of it. Takano and Belldandy just got the festivities going, (after the potion semi wore off,) with Sentaro and his family gang showing up not too long after the party began. And then the ol NIT gang showed up, and then Satoko and her recent newlywed catch (which Tamiya still lambastes Otaki about, during said party.) Even Yamano shows up, which just gives the older personages someone to talk to, as their younger counterparts do the same.

 

Which just gives a broader audience when Chihiro and Lind show up with a furry prisoner.

 

Sora just blinks. “That's not Velsper.”

 

Chihiro, carrying a white cat with a strange blue-gray forehead marking that looks familiar enough, makes most realize who is actually missing. (Of the humanoid version anyway.) As Urd and Skuld start laughing to the confusion of half the others, Sentaro just quips on enough recognition. “What'd he do this time?”

“That anti-crime spree you all heard about.”

 

Everyone else: “Bad kitty.”

 

Imlade-pus just hisses in retort, which garners a rough Chihiro based head pat. “Quiet you.” ..as Lind behind just smirks at the imaginative punishments these morals come up with. Keima just quips over to Keiichi. “Is that why there is airplane engines over there by the bike shelter?”

 

Keiichi just nods. Dryly. Mara just laughs. “Haw! I don't need to be the antagonist here anymore! This is funny.”

 

Urd: “You can go back home now then.”

 

“Tell Hild that.” Mara moans. Urd just shrugs.

 

Chihiro just brings Imlade-pus up to Belldandy. “I think he has something to tell you dearie.”

 

Bell blinks as Imlade just `meows' out.. “Meow meow me.. ow! Okay okay. Um.. Belldandy, I'm sorry for overdoing everything because of your suggestion. I'll learn to control my boredom from now on.”

 

Belldandy just took and cradled the white kitty from Chihiro and chimed back. “I accept your apology. Just learn more restraint, that is all that is required.” Keiichi looking on, meanwhile wished `he' was a kitty at that point. Takano meanwhile just whispers to Keima. “I swear that goober is a problem for ol Bell.”

 

“Eh, families always have bad apples.” Keima quips and sips his drink by. Keiichi notes this.. “Would that mean.. hey! You said it! Ow, my head!”

 

Some parental abuse would have prodded further, if not for a strange chuckling sound that makes more than a few around look around, and then finally down, as Keiichi.. “Eh? Velsper?”

 

The demonic black neko just chuckles cat like, as Imlade-neko realizes the target.

 

Velsper just remarks. “A fitting punishment if I ever saw one. Good job broads.”

 

Lind just snaps back. “Careful, he still has his claws.”

 

Velsper and Imlade just hiss and growl at each other, as Bell blinks on. Satoko nearby just quips. “This don't feel safe all of a sudden.”

 

And if that wasn't enough, a new growl just nabs `their' attention, as the two nekos notice a god-doggie going on his biological imperative! Both nekos suddenly realize wide-eyed, as Megumi just creeps out.. “Ut-oh.”

 

One bad scene, right out from a animal comedy movie or something, later, and Chihiro just whispers over to a cock-eyed Lind. “I think we needed more foresight on this one.”

 

“I'm not sure Lady Frigurina would have saw this.” ..this as tables and yells crash the night air.

 

“I don't have to see everything.”

 

Lind and Chihiro just sigh as a motherly goddess suddenly appears. Fig just smirks out with arms folded. “Still, my Nephew got a just reward for his scandal. The old twenty-four hours kind I presume?”

 

Lind just shrugs. “No worse than what Chihiro got, before I helped her bail.”

 

“Wait till I get him at work tomorrow. Bored my ass he will be then.”

 

Lind and Frig just teardrop as Chihiro goes knuckle-cracking CEO like in the eye, as the chaos continues for a good few more minutes. Chihiro then just asks. “Um, we're missing someone else's ain't we?”

 

Frig.. “Paris. Don't think about it too much.”

 

Chihiro just blinked, and then blushed. “Kay, good warning.”

Lind just quips to end with.. “So, this is family no?”

 

--------------------

 

(End Boredom - Vol. II)