Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Hangovers ❯ Chapter 1

Although the night was young, Ise Nanao was well into her bottle of sake. She'd been nursing it since the early afternoon and it was nearly gone now. She was certainly feeling the effects as she sat on the hill overlooking Seireitei. The lights of the Shinigami city were starting to come on, the flickering of candles making it look like a sky of twinkling stars set over the background of the growing darkness. She didn't dare stand, not completely sure that her legs would hold her. She was never one to drink, which was why she couldn't understand her current intoxicated state. The fact that her mind was blurred with alcohol didn't help much either.
For some reason today, she was unable to cheer herself up. She knew that it was silly to turn to alcohol, but it seemed to work for everyone else. She didn't particularly enjoy the taste, or the effect, but it seemed to be working. She was worrying less about her unknown worry, and more on trying to sit upright. The world was spinning at an odd angle, which made her want to tilt slightly to straighten it, but it never seemed to do just as she wanted. It was then that she would realize she was falling over and had to correct herself. Everything was starting to blur. She wondered how much alcohol she had in her system.
When she went to take the next drink from the bottle, she realized how much. All of it. The bottle was completely empty. With a disappointed sigh, she set it down and laid her elbow against her leg, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. She vaguely heard the footsteps approach her, but it didn't quite register what that meant.
“Nanao-chan,” Came the soft voice, filled with worry. “What are you doing?”
She leaned her head back to look up at her Taichou, smiling. “Taichou...hello.” With a worried frown, she realized she was starting to fall backward. He was there to catch her, his large hands gently resting on her shoulders and propping her back up into the sitting position. He was kneeling down behind her, making sure she stayed upright.
“I was just having a drink.” She informed him, handing him the bottle over her shoulder. He examined the empty vessel a moment before setting it back down on the grass.
“Yes, I can see that, Nanao-chan. But why? It isn't like you to get drunk.”
“I'm not drunk!” She tried to say with a straight face. She couldn't manage to look him in the eye when she said it.
“Yes you are.” His fingers gently hooked under her chin, making her raise her gaze. “What's wrong?”
Her unfocused eyes saddened slightly. “I don't know.”
“You can't tell me?” He asked, his disappointment clear. The last few weeks of being so close to his dear Nanao-chan, and now this? Was it because of their closer relationship as of late?
“I would if I knew.” She argued, sliding her chin from his fingers to look down at her bare feet.
“You must have known what you were trying to forget by drinking. You aren't the sort of person to just take up a bottle because you're feeling blue.” He sat behind her and pulled her up against his chest, sitting her between his legs. His hat was rested against his back, so the rim wouldn't hit her in the back of the head.
Just before he'd gotten her settled against him, she shook her head and pushed away from him, her hands on his knees to give extra leverage. She more stumbled then crawled away from him. Shakily, she rose to her feet, looking down at him.
“This!” She said, throwing up her hands. “This is insane!”
“What?” He asked, confused. His dark eyes glanced around slightly. He'd just intended to sit with her until she sobered slightly so that when he took her home, no one would be the wiser to her condition.
“Us! How can you even want this?” She asked him, her purple eyes bearing down on him. “Are you content to just stay in secret for the rest of our lives? To play in the shadows and act all perfect in the daylight. To continue to fool our squads and our friends? How can you possibly be content with a woman who is embarrassed to allow people to know she's with you? I've seen the way you act with women. Eventually, you'll be bored of this. You'll realize you've caught the toy you've been chasing and you'll get bored of this charade. You'll go back to chasing everything with a skirt. Can you really be in love with a woman who doesn't have the guts to admit she's in love with her Taichou? A woman who feels that it's wrong to be in love with her Taichou, but isn't strong enough to resist him?” She started to say something more, but stopped herself. She could see the look on his face. The pain she'd brought him. She might as well have stabbed him. Perhaps that would have been more merciful.
“I should have guessed this would come up again sooner or later.” He sighed. Pulling his hat up, he replaced it on his head, allowing the rim to hide his gaze from her. His large from rose gracefully from the ground, surprising for a man of his stature. Still, his eyes were hidden from her. “I don't think you're looking at this the proper way.” He said softly, stepping close to her.
She could smell him, a mix of spice and flowers. Her body heated at the close proximity, her drunken mind aching to reach out and touch him. She resisted with all of the sense she had left at her disposal.
“I may be intoxicated,” She allowed, shaking her head slightly. “But this is something I had on my mind when I was sober. This isn't the alcohol talking.” She argued. “This is how I feel. This is how you should feel.” She told him, putting her hands on her hips.”
“I don't think I quite understand, Nanao-chan.”
“Our relationship isn't right...and you know it.”
He raised his head enough to meet her gaze, the wide rimmed hat throwing a shadow over his face. His long fingers brushed down her cheek, feeling a small amount of relief when she didn't pull away from him. “If that's how you feel when you've slept off the alcohol, I will abide by your decision.” He promised her.
“I don't need to wait. Like I said...this was going through my mind before I started drinking.” She reiterated. The look that she saw in his eyes made her want to cry. She nearly did when his fingers fell from her cheek. With a nod, he gathered up the edges of his haori, his arms disappearing inside.
“Good night then, Fukutaichou. I will see you in the morning, bright and early, as usual.” There was something missing from him. Not just the lack of endearments when addressing her. His eyes were dark and troubled, his face holding no hint of a smile, or the usual suggestion of mischief. When he turned and walked away, his pink kimono fluttering behind him, Nanao sank to her knees and cried.

She wasn't surprised to learn that Shunsui didn't come to the office that morning. She hadn't heard from him since he left her last night, drunk and in tears. No one else had mentioned anything and no odd looks were given to her when she came in to work that morning. He'd kept his promise, as he always did, to keep their interactions a secret.
She was feeling the effects of her drinking binge, vowing to never do it again. It had been odd enough for her to start drinking that she had no doubt she would do so again. She would leave that to her Taichou. Judging by the emptiness of his sake collection, hidden in the bottom drawer of his desk, he was doing so right now. That made her worry.
Not that he was drinking, she'd never worried about him doing so before, but that he might be drinking today because of her. Under the guise of his usual antics, she sent a squad member out to find him. She denied their request to search the bars when they returned from his home with no luck. If he wasn't at home, she had an idea of where he might be.
The day was spent in misery. Her hangover paired with the guilt of what she'd felt she had to do made the hours drag on forever. She finished as quickly as she could. After a day of consuming nothing but water, she was starting to feel more like herself by nightfall. Gathering her courage, she headed across Seireitei to the thirteenth squad's compound. The Taichou's home was perhaps a little bit larger than that of the other Taichou's, perhaps to accommodate his health, which rarely allowed him to leave his home. He had his office there, as a result, as well as a meeting room to discuss his squad's going-ons.
She knocked softly on the door, not wanting to wake the sickly Taichou should he be sleeping. Part of her hoped he was sleeping. That would mean that her Taichou was not here, talking the poor man's ear off. Much to her dismay, the door opened almost right away. Apparently he'd been expecting her.
“Ise, I was wondering how long it would take you to come and pick him up.” The man greeted with a warm smile. A wave of his arm invited her in. “I'm afraid you're either going to have to wait for him to wake up, or leave him here tonight. He's out cold at the moment.”
She turned to look up at Ukitake sharply. “He's never done that before.” She said softly, suddenly more worried.
He nodded solemnly and laid a hand on her shoulder. “I wouldn't worry too much. I've seen it a couple times. He'll be fine in the morning. You know how he is.” He reassured her, leading her into his bedroom.
Shunsui was indeed passed out on the bed. He'd removed both his pink kimono and Taichou's haori, which Ukitake had folded neatly and placed on a chair. His hat, it seemed, was nowhere to be found. Looking him over, she let out a soft sigh and shook her head. She wasn't sure what to do with him. He'd never gotten so drunk that he couldn't stumble home with her help. Helplessly, she looked up at her Taichou's dearest friend.
The tall man waved a hand and took a seat by the bed. “So long as he doesn't drool on my pillows, he can stay here tonight. I'll make sure that he's home in time for breakfast.” He promised with a reassuring smile. “But, so long as you're here, I would like to talk to you, if I wouldn't be imposing.” Ukitake requested gently. “To be honest, I'm worried about him. More than I would like to admit.”
“I'm not sure how he phrased what happened earlier, but I know it's for the best. There just isn't a compatibility here.” She said, looking back at her Taichou. “I'm his subordinate, he's my Taichou. How can that be right?”
“I think there are two things that you should know, before you judge him. Before you jump to the conclusion that he hasn't thought any of this over himself. The first is his own comfort. Don't you think it's a little odd for him as well?” He asked of her gently, giving her a moment to digest it. “He's literally watched you grow up, Nanao. He's helped train you himself. Don't you think he feels a little guilty about turning around and falling in love with you?” He pointed out.
“I hadn't thought of that.” She admitted, a little guiltily. She could see how he might be as uncomfortable with that knowledge as she was with him being her Taichou. For her, it hadn't been an issue. She knew that he wasn't trying to take advantage of her using that connection they shared and that had been the end of it.
“What's the other thing?”
“The reason he drank himself into a coma tonight. That you don't know him well enough to have learned that he wouldn't hurt you. When you suggested he might leave you for another woman, or grow bored of you. Yes, he is a flirt, it's true. But, have you ever stepped back to notice that the only woman he actually flirts with....is you?”
The words hit her like a ton of bricks. Had she really been so blind? These last few months, he had been devoted to her, but still she'd worried he might eventually grow bored and stray. She hadn't even considered that his flirtatious nature had been directed at her alone. Perhaps she wasn't just a toy he'd been chasing.
She looked over at the sleeping man and shook her head slightly. “He's watched you grow into a powerful, beautiful woman. The only other time I've seen him get this dead drunk before, was the night he came to me to confess that his feelings toward you had changed from the fatherly mentor, to something more intimate and romantic. It took me a very long time to convince him that all things change. There have been many of higher rank who took an interest in their subordinates. My own fukutaichou married below his rank.”
“After that, it was a matter of getting you to see it. Apparently that didn't work.” He said with, possibly, a slight smile.
“I've been so worried about what people would think.”
“That's what sort of person you are. It's all about appearances. You've had to put up with a childish Taichou for so long, who can blame you? Someone had to take up the slack. You just have to learn when you can let that aspect fall to the wayside. He really has no interest in anyone but you, Nanao.” Ukitake assured her, glancing over at the passed out Shunsui.
“Why wouldn't he just tell me all of this?”
“Perhaps you haven't noticed, but when it comes to you, he isn't so good at being serious and revealing his true feelings.” He pointed out. “Hence the centuries of flirting when he could have spent two minutes just telling you how he felt. That man loves doing things the hard way, it seems.”
Nanao nodded and looked down at her feet.
The Taichou raised himself from the chair and laid his hand on her shoulder before he passed by her. “If you're worried about him taking you back or not, don't worry. You're all he's ever wanted, and most likely all he will ever want. Once he's awake and sober, I'll talk to him for you. This has all just been a misunderstanding.”
Surprising Ukitake, herself even more so, she hugged the man tightly on a sudden impulse. He was such a good friend, she didn't know what Shunsui would do without him. “Thank you.” She said quickly with a soft blush as she backed off.
Still a bit taken aback, but not angry, he nodded. “The next time one, or both of you, gets drunk and does something stupid like this, you're going to be on your own.” He warned, his teasing tone clear.

Shunsui groaned at the horror of actually having to wake up. With the sheer amount of alcohol in his system, he'd been hoping he wouldn't wake up at all. The splitting in his skull was a sure sign that he was, indeed alive and awake. He was dreading the long road to recovery already. Although it was rare that he was in such a state, and it had been an amazingly long time since then, but he remembered all to well.
He was bemoaning the fact that nothing would help ease the pain he would go through in the next few hours when he heard the settling of bedding beside him. He froze for a moment, wondering at it. Who could possibly be in the bed with him? Hopefully not Ukitake. He loved the man, but more like a brother.
Turning over, he opened his eyes slowly to let them adjust to the light. It took him a moment to see past the blinding knives that shot into his vision. What he saw, or rather the person that he saw, laying beside him, completely distracted him from the pain of his hangover.
His sweet, dear, lovely, Nanao-chan was sleeping peacefully beside him. He glanced around lazily, assuring himself that he was indeed still in Ukitake's house. Looking back down at Nanao, he sighed. As long as he lived, he would never understand her.
One morning she was drunk and telling him to go away, the next she was sober and curled up against him. If only she would make up her mind, it would certainly make things a lot nicer, and certainly less painful, physically and emotionally.
Reaching over, he gently shook her shoulder to rouse her, ignoring the sluggish muscles that protested the movement. She woke quickly with a gasp that sent pain racing through his skull.
“I'm sorry.” She whispered quickly. She reached over onto one of the bedside tables and took up her glasses, pushing them on her face. “How are you feeling?” She asked quietly, trying to be considerate of his condition, having just been there recently herself.
“Confused more than anything.” He admitted, reaching out to rest his hand against her cheek, the tips of his fingers burying in her dark hair. “What are you doing here, Nanao-chan?”
“I don't really know.” She admitted, turning into his touch slightly. “But, after talking to Ukitake last night, I realized that for good or bad, I would like to find out. After all, you can't ever finish, or lose, the race if you don't start running...right?”
“I suppose that's true.” He agreed slowly. “But you can't help what you feel. If you don't think that we should be together, then there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to force you into a relationship that's going to make you uncomfortable. I don't want you to force yourse-”
He was cut off, rather quickly and efficiently by her kiss. It took him completely by surprise, his hand hovering in the air where her cheek used to be.
“I know what I said and I wish I understood why I chose to say it. Yes, it has been bothering me, but if I'd just come to you in the first place, I'm sure you would have reassured me and everything would be fine, minus a couple of hangovers.” She said with a rare, but lovely smile.
He groaned in agreement. “Yes, that would have been nice. But I forgive you.” He kissed her then, making sure it was done right. A bit flourished perhaps, but when his lips left hers, his hand loosening in her hair, she seemed thoroughly satisfied. “Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get back to sleep. You aren't going to go run off and think too much again, are you?”
“No,” She laughed softly and settled back into the pillows, her hair fanning out behind her, a deep black against the stark white fabric. “I'll be here when you wake up. In every sense of the word.” She promise.

She was indeed there when he woke up later that afternoon. She helped him back to his own home, waiting patiently with a glass of water and clean sheets while he bathed and changed into something more comfortable. She was there when he woke for work the next morning. The morning after that as well.
When she had doubts about them, or anything in life, she came to him first. He would listen intently, then give her the reassurances she needed, even if it was something as simple as holding her close and letting her cry and fall asleep in the comfort of his arms.
Perhaps love really did conquer all, and opposites did attract. Perhaps their love would never make it's way out of the shadows and into the public's eye. They were fine the way they were. She was more than happy to spend her free time with him, and in return, he had no qualms in keeping it secret.
Besides, he told her on one occasion; “I certainly don't mind keeping you all to myself, Nanao-chan, my love.”