Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ How To Change Your Life in Ten Days ❯ Chapter One SS ( Chapter 1 )

Day One

 

I didn't believe my best friend when she said my ex-high school crush was going to pay me a visit. But she just giggled and walked away from me.

 

Psychiatrists didn't just get knocks on their office doors from pretty normal people. But, as it turned out, he wasn't pretty normal himself.

 

I opened the door that morning, only to find him grinning from ear to ear. “Hey, salesgirl, how are you?” I blinked; the universal language for `huh'.

 

“Uh, are you Midori?” he nodded and twirled his way into my office. I stared hard. Was that really my high school crush? He just seemed… so different.

 

“Hey,” he whispered, running his tender fingers through my hair. I felt a tingling sensation being sent down my spine. “Do you mind if I borrow the toilet?”

 

Not realizing the stupidity of the statement, I flushed crimson, nodding fervently. My love hadn't died down, after all. Tomoyo was so right.

 

It was a while before he came out of the bathroom, but I'd expected it. He looked all serious and embarrassed at being in a girl's toilet. “What the hell am I doing in here?” he burst out.

 

“Uh, are you Li?” I asked tentatively. He nodded, as if to say `duh'.

 

“Oh, hi, tissue girl,” he replied gruffly. “We meet again.”

 

“Yeah…” I said subconsciously, staring at my calendar resting on the table. “Time flies, no?”

 

He rolled his eyes at that comment. “Time doesn't fly. And what am I doing here anyway? I don't remember seeing your name on my planner.”

 

I shrugged, pretending not to know about it. “But since you're here already, why not use the opportunity and go out to have a cup of coffee, you know, relive the old times?”

 

“A cup of coffee?” he scoffed. “But nevertheless, I shall humor the tissue girl.”

 

I merely smiled in response. He looked the other way.

 

X

 

The tantalizing aroma of cappuccino wafted into my nostrils as it teased my sense of smell. He glared at me from across the table, watched me dreamily stir the spatula in the cup of coffee. “Can a cappuccino really do that to a psychiatrist like you?” he asked skeptically. At that point of time, the harshness in his tone seemed to fade away, even if it was just a little.

 

“You don't know. You don't know how tiring it is to deal with thousands of mentally abnormal people every day and still keep yourself sane.” I allowed myself the luxury of a tiny sigh as I felt my breath leave from my lips.

 

“Well, you've certainly changed a lot,” he observed. “Your cheeks are hollower now, and you sound more matured. No more hoe and goody, and much more feminine charm.” He coughed to cover up for that last sentence.

 

As for me, I just looked away, at the hundreds of people rushing their way to their destinations outside, eyes unfocused as I allowed my thoughts to wander freely, away from the somewhat serene shop, away from the pains of daily life. It was rather unnerving, actually, to really feel silence for once, and the awkward barrier between the two of us shattered silently as a stupid smile worked its way onto my face.

 

“Now what's wrong with you?” he snapped me out of my fantasy.

 

“Uh… nothing.” I muttered and looked away once more, subconsciously raising the cappuccino to my lips, and held it there after I had savored the reviving taste of coffee.

 

In a sudden movement he came toward me and… grabbed the cup and laid it on the table. “What was that for?” I asked, perplexed and frustrated.

 

“Your coffee was about to be spilt, you idiot,” he raked his fingers through his hair, irritated. I didn't try to make anymore conversation after that. Our meet-up was in no way similar to what I would have imagined. But oh well.

 

“So… I guess you gotta go?” I piped up.

 

“Yeah…” he glanced at his watch. “Business. See you tomorrow!”

 

He seemed to still think of me as a mere friend, or worse still, the tissue girl. I left no lasting impression on him. But, upon hearing his old habit and the obvious loophole, I couldn't help but laugh out loud, almost spitting out the coffee I had swirling about in my mouth.

 

He didn't throw a backward glance.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

It was scary meeting her like that. After all she was my high school crush. I tried hiding it by seeming superior and not obviously stuttering too much. Dense as always, she didn't even pick up the slightest trail.

 

I heaved a sigh of relief when she asked me to go down for a coffee break. I was grateful, even. I had expected some kind of torture, like the shopping mall or even the penguin park, but no, she had surprisingly become matured.

 

Her cheeks were hollower now, and she did sound more matured, and no more child talk. Of course, what could one expect from years of psychology? It was simply no easy-to-deal-with course. I wondered why she had picked it in the first place. But it was as if the memory was in my own head, just that the head of mine wasn't too happy about letting me remember it…

 

I shrugged the matter off and gazed at her every movement that seemed to mesmerize me, capture my soul. She was dreamily stirring the spatula in her cup of cappuccino. Intrigued, I asked, “Can a cup of cappuccino really do that to a psychiatrist like you?”

 

Looking up briefly, she answered, “You don't know. You don't know how tiring it is to deal with thousands of abnormal people every day and still keep yourself sane.”

 

Yeah, of course it wasn't easy. As a businessman I had to deal with loads of them too, most of my customers being obsessed with peeking underneath bartenders' skirts.

 

“Well you've certainly changed.” She listened carefully as I listed out the ways.

 

We then tried making light conversation, and failed. It was because of me. I kept trying to hide my real answer by snapping a reply or to provide no response. She must have felt hurt, but it was the only way possible for me not to get any further than I already did.

 

“So… I guess you gotta go?” she suddenly inquired.

 

I caught the lifeline being thrown toward me and grasped it tight. But meanwhile I decided to leave behind a loophole for her to climb through, too. “Yeah…” I pretended to glance at my watch. “Business. See you tomorrow!”

 

I walked away from the shop, paying for the coffee bill when she couldn't see me anymore. I always liked to tell people `see you tomorrow' in high school. I hoped she gave me the benefit of the doubt and simply thought it as an old habit that couldn't be kicked, and hoped she would think of it as a loophole so she could come visit me tomorrow. I hoped she still had enough love in her for me, like I did for her…

 

No. The loophole wasn't enough, even for a thick psychiatrist like her. There were too many variables in between.

 

X

 

Day Two

 

So then I was really surprised when I almost crashed head-first into her the next morning. “Hey!” she gasped cheerily. “I just managed on time before you left for work, eh? I have a day off today!”

 

I highly suspected she exchanged it with someone else. Or she could have manipulated the timetable. Either way, a businessman didn't have to go to work every day. “Me too.”

 

“Great!” That's an improvement, `great' instead of `goody'. “You free enough to grant me a day?”

 

I didn't manage to choke out a word, but instead simply nodded. “Whatever. Just give me a minute.”

 

I walked back into my room, heaping countless stripes, T-shirts, suits and sweatshirts onto my already overloaded bed, trying so hard to find the perfect clothes to match her pink delightful ones with.

 

X

 

He was taking too long. I already suspected why, though it could be simply because he was loaded and had an even fuller closet. Unsure of what to do, I politely knocked on the door. “Hey, Li-kun, are you done?”

 

“Who's Ri?” a purposely-made-sexy voice drifted through the humid air and hit my ears like a gong resounding about a hundred meters away. “Oh, so it's the new nickname you gave lil old Midori-chan, isn't it?”

 

I could only laugh and shrug the matter off. “I dunno why I'm in this freaky person's house, but he sure has a nice closet.” He joked, staring at me with such piercing amber eyes. The likeliness was uncanny; it almost made me believe it was Syaoran… I practically melted beneath his soulful gaze and I could feel my knees wobble and buckle below me.

 

Well technically he was Li, but the mindset was so different it made me gasp in absolute wonder the first time I found out. I would always think, if Li had this kind of personality, wouldn't it be great? But for some indescribable reason I preferred Li with his original personality. I guess that made much more sense. Midori… was really crap, an alter ego created and based entirely off imagination, a person I could never have, and a person you would never find in Li.

 

I never knew just how wrong a psychiatrist could be.

 

He dragged me out of Li's, or rather, his house and I felt uncomfortable. To see and to make believe at the same time was difficult for me. My eyes could portray a Li Syaoran and my mind had to remind myself he was Midori. He had to make this hard for me didn't he? I guessed I would just call him by his new `pet-name'. “Uh, Li-kun?”

 

“Yes, what is it, hon? I love it when you call me Ri, you know, it's just so sweet my teeth are decaying.”

 

I resisted the urge to say something far stupider than that comment. Really, sometimes I couldn't stand Li's alter ego, he was forever getting on my nerves. “Let's go pay a visit to our math teacher, all right? Since I can't fix you.”

 

The shrine was clean as ever. Mitsuki-sensei was waiting by the door. “I was glad you were willing to drop by finally,” her smile was warm and welcoming.

 

I smiled back. “Ohayoo, Mitsuki-sensei!”

 

Li, or rather, Midori, winked flirtatiously before following sensei and me into the clean and neat shrine. For a while I stopped before the cherry tree near the centre of the backyard. It looked… majestic.

 

“So what's the purpose of paying me a visit this time, Sakura?” Sensei asked sweetly. She could always deal with Li's double personality fault and found out about it long before any of us did. It seemed like she and Eriol-kun always were as observant as Tomoyo.

 

“Well…” I began awkwardly. “I've tried hypnosis with him, but it didn't really work, so I thought I'd ask my sempai… You're much more specialized in this area, ne sensei?”

 

She merely flashed an apologetic grin before leading me out of the room. “Sorry, but we need a bit of privacy to do this. I'll show you the tape later on.”

 

X

 

Sakura-san didn't just come a calling without any particular reason. I always knew there was a huge problem with Li, but couldn't really figure it out till a few years back. I had a strong feeling Sakura became a psychiatrist for that reason, too. Actually it was pretty simple. Obvious clues laid around for anyone interested enough to note. Sakura, known for her intelligence, was rather dense when it concerned affairs of the heart. She'd never known Li had a thing for her. But she liked him too. What a pity.

 

The `huge problem' wasn't just about his secret crush. It was also about his alter ego. It was becoming serious.

 

And today, she had finally made a special request. As the role of a teacher, I would accept it.

 

I dimmed the lights in the room. “Hey Li. How are you?”

 

“Wow. Even you're calling me by my pet name? It must have grown real popular, huh.” The boy in front of me replied. So he was Midori right now.

 

“Okay, yeah, it's very sweet to say, don't you think?” I lured him away from the usual thoughts of the world. “So, how about a little shut-eye? Think back. You didn't have much sleep did you?” the tone of my voice changed, I had to admit, drastically. It was like humming a lullaby.

 

“I think I'll be fine with just a little… But what about Saku-chan?” a sleepy voice returned my question.

 

“She'll be just fine,” I promised. Then I set the most important tool to work; the pendulum. Swinging from side to side in full oscillations, it made contact with the metal on both sides, creating a harmonious but dull rhythm. “Just relax.”

 

Clink, clink, clink, clink. It was as if the tension in the air had melted away. Now a space-creating animation was placed on the wall directly in front of him, as if sucking him into nothingness. I could feel his alertness fading.

 

“Before I let you off for a great sleep,” I prompted, “answer a few questions all right?” I watched as he nodded, dazed. “First, what is your name?”

 

The gears in his mind seemed to whirl to life with work, but his brilliant eyes remained closed. “Li Syao… Midori. I don't know. It's - either one or the other.”

 

“Very good.” Now his mind was in a confused state, caught in between the two egos. “Would you mind telling me the name of the person you long for, desire for, and wish for?”

 

“What if… you tell her?” he asked, his voice tinged with a shyness I've never heard before in my life.

“It'll be a secret between the two of us. I promise.”

 

“Well… actually, I don't know. I like… Kinomoto Sakura. I also like - Meiling. I wish… I would stop being so fickle…”

 

“Then, don't you want to stop this? Don't you want to decide for yourself who you like?” I probed further.

 

His eyelids drooped. “I do - but what if Sakura rejects me? She's - never really forgiven me after the - tissue incident… And Meiling… if she ever knew I preferred Sakura over her… she would be so upset…”

 

Of course the main personality had a slightly greater control over the mind. He would definitely say that. Sakura… would be so delighted to know. “But what if she has? What if she likes you back? Won't you be happy then? I'm sure Meiling would be happy for you, too.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. Hey, why don't you try confessing now? No one would know of this and you could unleash some of your anxiety too. I recommend it; it's a great way to go. Then you could go straight to sleep.”

 

“Uh… I… Kinomoto, if you're listening to this… I just wanna say - I - I - I - like…” his subconscious mind took over and brought him quickly to the realms of the fantasy lands. “…you…” The last word slipped out of his mouth soft as an angel's breath before his lanky figure slumped to one side of my armchair.

 

I clicked off the button camera and brightened the lights. Then I called Sakura in and announced this as a success. “Well, it's at least an improvement,” I winked, hinting. I handed her the roll of tape.

 

“But where's Li?” she inquired courteously.

 

X

 

“Well, it's at least an improvement.” Mitsuki-sensei winked disarmingly, as if trying to hint something. I couldn't catch it. It drifted away from me like the last lifeline. I decided to forego it.

 

“But where's Li?” She glanced briefly over her shoulder at an elegant armchair.

 

“Sleeping like a baby, I'm sorry to say,” she shrugged apologetically. “Guess he didn't get himself enough sleep, huh. You'll just have to wait a while, then.”

 

Politely, she excused herself from the room and left the space for a private time for Li and me. She was truly a remarkable person, that Mitsuki-sensei.

 

He was there, lying in front of me, all vulnerable but still strong in his own way. He carried a smile when he slept, and it took all I had to prevent myself from bending low and feeling his face through my hands. He was mine, even if it were only a few precious seconds. I had to treasure it.

 

I gazed at him. He was so beautiful, so sweet. He was no longer his normal self, much less like Midori too. He was like… an amazing angel in disguise who had come to grace his presence in my life.

 

Why did I have to love him this much? It was unfair.

 

I couldn't resist any further. I bent low, stroking his cheeks with my fingers. They felt nice and cool to the touch, probably because of all the cold air blowing at his face. It was dry, but I liked it that way. I liked Li with his own unique personality. I refused to see him change.

 

Then they subconsciously touched his lips. Cracked as usual, even though I'd bought him countless lip balm already. He'd claimed them as feminine and unsuitable for him, thus he gave it back and said I could have it. I treated it as a proper present from him and it still rested peacefully in my high school pencil case.

 

I could feel my own lips twitching, itching for the taste of his. He probably tasted of coffee, but it didn't matter.

 

He made a sudden grunting noise and it alerted me. “You're awake?”

 

He rubbed his eyes. “Not really. Mitsuki-sensei's really nice to have me here for a light nap. Thank her for me if you ever see her again.” He noticed the roll in my hands. “What's that?”

 

I glared at it. “Oh, nothing.” He raised an elegant eyebrow, but decided to pursue no further.

 

“I'll send you hom -” “NO!” I banged my head mentally, thinking about how stupid I was to make my desire to stay with him so obvious. “Uh, I mean, I really wanted to - like, you know, take a stroll in the park! Yeah!”

 

“I don't like the park.” He muttered silently. “There are too many happy sounds, birds chirping, children shrieking joyfully, people chattering animatedly. Can we go somewhere quieter, more private?”

 

I nodded wordlessly as I got into his car.