Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ ignorance was bliss ❯ Chapter 5

The ceiling wasn't providing any answers, Syaoran concluded. Everything was ready for him to fall asleep, and yet... His mind was far too active. He wondered if Sakura was having the same problem.
'I don't know what to make of it and I wasn't even there,' he thought. The shock from Yukito's simple question racked his brain. Syaoran could feel the strength the other boy posessed, and it drew him to Yukito. Or Yue. He wasn't quite sure. Although he knew where his heart was now, and it was wholly in the hands of a certain card mistress.
This brought him back to the notion... whether it was wrong to be drawn to another man. (Although, Syaoran honestly was still in the formulative stages of "man-to-be".) Syaoran's mind drifted back to the dinner table, where he hadn't been but a handful of hours ago..
Syaoran, through all the numerous and variety of distractions, didn't realize that he had seen what he had. Over and over again the whole dinner was replayed in his mind, as he focused on the two subjects of Sakura's conflict... well, the most recent one, anyway. The way Touya and Yukito looked at one another... their eyes, their glances. Yukito's eyes full of warmth and tenderness, as if hoping to bathe all those around him in comfort through his gaze... but all of it was centered and focused around one single being. The two hadn't sat cheek to cheek, or ear to ear... or had each other's tongues down their throats, or hands groping in places that are generally rated for "mature audiences only." It was more simplistic. There was love in that young man's eyes. Syaoran knew, as he would cast the same gaze upon a certain green-eyed girl.
Touya's eyes were unforgettable. Through the anger, and contempt... and the murderous flames that surfaced, Touya's eyes hid something behind them. Something that Syaoran had also known... fear. Fear of losing something. Someone. He wouldn't try and figure out which dillema Touya was contemplating - Yukito, or Sakura, but it was there. Hidden behind all the primal rage. Although. ... It was almost comforting to know that he wasn't the only one who could be made to feel that way. It gave him hope, that Sakura might just one day see that he really did --...
He almost regretted confessing his feelings to her, had he known she would have to deal with this on top of it...
'When *is* there a good time to say 'I love you'?' There wasn't a guidebook for this sort of thing. At least not for ten-year-olds, who risked their lives ridding the world of destructive cards created by ominous sorcery... and not to mention, had to keep their grades up.

*-*-*-*

Touya was sitting back at the kitchen table with his father sitting across from him. There was an overbearing silence, that radiated from the pair. The younger man sat, with one hand over the other, looking down at them. Fujitaka just watched him, and quietly inquired again, as gently as he could.
"... do you want to tell me what all of this is about?"
"No." The response was automatic, and had come out harsher than Touya intended. He looked up at his elder, and quickly back down again. It troubled his father to see him this way, to see both of his children pulling away from him. Fujitaka folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, trying to figure out what his next available course of action could possibly be.

*-*-*-*

Sakura was so out of it, she could hardly notice that Kero-chan was in her face screaming at her, "I SAW THE COOKIES! I DID!... h-how could you..." His beads for eyes looked teary and forlorn, "... share with that brat, and not with me... oh woe is the day when the great guardian beast Keroberos is reduced to THIS!" He shook an angry yellow paw at the sky, as tears ran down his face.
Although all of his dramatics were lost on his mistress. He sunk down to the desk, to give his wings a break, and to get another perspective on Sakura's features. She looked tired, 'From crying, no doubt.' Kero-chan didn't like discussing such things, perhaps because it wasn't his strong suit. Magical life and death situations was easy, but this was rough. He was almost thankful he didn't have to deal with Clow Reed's teenage years.
The yellow fluff ball shook his head at himself, stroking his chin... only to have his thoughts rudely interupted by a ringing telephone, causing him to fall flat on his face onto the desk.
Sakura, in her zombie-like state, picked up her pink cell and mindlessly answered, "Moshi moshi?"
"Sakura-chan! Is that you?? What's the matter?! I've been calling and calling--"
"We had people over for dinner," Sakura's usually happy tone was sounding a little flat tonight. This worried her videotaping comrade.
"... ne... Sakura-chan...?" Tomoyo asked cautiously.
"...hn?"
"... does this have to do with Li-kun?" her purple-haired friend was greeted with unsure laughter.
"It's been a really long night... can we talk about it some other time?" Sakura asked in almost a whisper, and then quietly pleaded, "... please, Tomoyo..."
"Hai, Sakura-chan. I'll see you at school tomorrow then?" As though she could hear her green-eyed friend nod, "Alright then... sweet dreams, Sakura-chan."
She clicked her phone off, and rested her hand on top of it in front of her. She failed to notice that she was also covering Kero-chan. At the sudden panicked movement beneath her hand, Sakura seemed to snap back into life... removing her hand, she was faced with a very perturbed Kero-chan.
"Think you can ignore the awesome beast of the Clow DO YOU!?" He stopped, and then got teary-eyed again, "... may I have some cookies *now*...???"
It felt good to laugh again, even if it was only for a moment.

*-*-*-*

"Dad, please, I'll take care of it." Touya's knuckles were white, and he was swallowing a lump in his throat, and he hadn't looked up to meet his father's gaze for some time now. Fujitaka sighed heavily, brushing a hand across his own forehead, as if somehow that would clear the haze that fogged his thoughts. Very little, if any of this, made any sense He said the only thing he could think of saying.
"... just follow your heart." 'Wow, did that sound as trite as I thought it did?' Mr. Kinomoto nearly chuckled, but held it in. "... and if that doesn't work, you still have a father who can bail you out," he smiled and leaned across the table and playfully punched Touya's shoulder.
Touya stumbled back into his chair, looking up at his father in surprise. He was met with a gentle smile, which was contagious. Slowly getting up from the table, he started for the upstairs... and as he passed his father, he just gently patted his shoulder, to reassure him that his son could handle his own.
As his foot took step after step, he remembered what it was like... after his mother first died. His father still managed to smile, like Sakura. Maybe that's when his sister-complex started. Sakura was more than a little sister to him. During those times, he tried to relieve his father of all the extra hardships by taking care of Sakura. They had both been so young... Sakura, only three. As Touya sat on the top of the stairs, he started to remember when those little emerald eyes gazed up into his with loving admiration. How she used to clap her chubby hands onto his cheeks and smile up at him, and they'd run around after one another at the park... The water fights, the food fights...
Touya let his face sink into his hands, as he felt all of his fond memories slowly fall apart. He owed it to his little sister to make this right.

*-*-*-*

Sakura, after having been thoroughly yelled at by an over-zealous Kero-chan, was somehow kicked out of her room by a little winged stuffed ... guardian. She giggled to herself, as she started to go back downstairs to go get her little friend some cookies, when she noticed a rather large obstruction to her path.
She'd never seen her brother like this. The way his face lay in his hands, while his fingers curled into his hair, threatening to pull every strand. He was all curled up on the top of the staircase, with his head between his knees. Sakura just stood there for a while and watched as her brother sat there, almost motionless. Once or twice he raked his hands roughly through his hair, when she got a good look at his face. He looked tired, again. And worried, very worried. His lips were dry, and his eyes were glazed, as though he was fighitng off the nerve to cry. She'd never seen her brother cry, ever. He'd always been so strong, and she loved him for it.
Sakura loved her brother. How could she have forgotten that through all of this? Touya was still her brother. Above all else, they were flesh and blood. He would always look over her, till the day he died - or his eyes were gauged out by ravenous crows... in which case, he'd have Yukito be his eyes. She couldn't stop herself from smiling at the image... Touya with a blindfold, one hand on Yukito to guide his path, while his other formed a dangerous claw threatening Syaoran as he barked orders and claims ranging from, "GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!"... to "THAT'S OFF-LIMITS TO YOU GAKI!"
Touya had a funny way of showing it, but she knew he loved her, too.

*-*-*-*

Two pairs of eyes overlooked the scene, with small grins on their faces. Fujitaka, looking up from the base of the stairs... and Kero-chan, hidden behind Sakura's bedroom door.
A proud father watched as his little girl non-chalantly plopped herself down next to her brother, and knocked on the back of his head. He clapped a hand over his mouth when Touya, who briefly looked enraged, quickly recovered. His son put his daughter in a playful head-lcok, and gave her a swift noogie.
And "hoeee!"s and "kaijuuu!"s filled the night air with glee.

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Note from the Author:

Okay, so I haven't decided whether I'm ending the fanfic there or not, but what I have decided is that I'm not going to post any more until I get more reviews. I need to know, and soon, whether I need professional help, or if I should be encouraged to write more. (Or both.)

~Jayni.