Case Closed Fan Fiction ❯ Orbital Query ❯ I, I'm Not Alone ( Chapter 5 )

     Haibara walked into her home. She hadn't been lying when she told Ayumi she had to talk to Dr. Agasa. She wasn't quite sure what to think when she saw him sewing something onto a pair of her socks.

     "Ah, Ai-kun." Agasa said as he noticed the girl, "Just in time. I think I've got those lifts figured out. I just finished sewing some into these socks. Try them."

     Haibara obliged, removing her socks for the ones Agasa handed her. Haibara felt something odd on the sock's sole. Obviously the lift that had just been added. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it would take some getting used to. Fortunately, they seemed to do their job. Haibara definitely felt a couple centimeters taller than she had a moment ago.

     "They're adjustable, too." Agasa boasted, holding up a completed lift that hadn't been added to a sock yet. It was flat, black, and in the shape of a small human foot. Turning a dial on one end, he made the flat lift expand just a bit in size. To where Haibara knew she'd be much taller if she wore that one over the ones one her feet now.

     "Very good." Haibara complimented, "These will definitely give us more time to work with. By the way, Doctor... there's something I wish to speak to you about."

     "All right. Pick up some socks and help me sew while you do, though. You have a lot of them as it is. And I told Shinichi to bring some of his over too."

     Haibara found a laundry basket filled with her socks, grabbed one and a lift, and began sewing them into the sole after a brief demonstration on the process by Dr. Agasa.

     "So, is this about the other cure?" the Doctor asked.

     Haibara nodded.

     "Have you made a decision on the matter, already."

     "Well... To be honest, I'm not completely sure, yet. But I think I know what I will do."

     "Do you have any idea how hard it is to sneak a bag of socks past Ran Mouri?" Conan Edogawa complained as he came into Dr. Agasa's home. The Doctor and Haibara were just finishing the last of the girl's lifts as he arrived.

     "I'll say very, since you're asking the question in the first place." Haibara quipped.

     "You'd be right, too." Conan replied, "I couldn't think up a single legitimate reason to be carrying a bag full of socks out of the house."

     "So what did you tell her?"

     "The truth actually. That Dr. Agasa would be putting lifts into my shoes."

     Haibara and Agasa both stared at Conan.

     "She and I talked last night. She doesn't suspect anything because of the growing, yet. I just told her I come from a family of late bloomers. She believed it, and I think it's why she wasn't surprised to hear I was getting you to do this. By the way, doctor, she wanted me to find out if anything special had to be done when she did laundry next time."

     They seemed satisfied with Conan's explanation. He plopped down his own bag and, after a demo from Haibara and Dr. Agasa, began his own work.

     "Doctor, Haibara, I have something to tell you." Conan said.

     "A decision regarding our purging agent?" Haibara asked.

     "Yeah. This whole problem made me realize something very important."

     "Oh?" Agasa said.

     "Our only thought so far has been to live long enough to get ourselves a cure to this drug and stop the Black Organization. But have we ever given anything as to how we could accomplish that?"

     Neither Agasa nor Haibara had.

     "We've been so focused on just surviving, that it's made us short-sighted. I want to become Shinichi again, and be with Ran. But, even if I'm back to normal, that won't happen with the Black Organization's shadow hanging over us. They won't just magically disappear so Ran and I can be happy together."

     Neither Agasa nor Haibara could argue the point.

     "First off, regarding the cures. I'm going to hold out for as long as possible."

     "I'm not surprised." Haibara said, "Let me guess, you see the other cure as a way of giving up."

     "That, and just because we won't be exposed doesn't mean we'll be safe. We'll still be looking over our shoulders as long as we live. No matter our size. We may have to face them eventually, no matter what. And I, for one, plan to do so as Shinichi Kudo."

     "But what if time runs out? And you need to choose between cures?" Agasa asked.

     "I've spent last night and this morning thinking about that. This was harder than I realized it would be. I could either keep myself safe or go all or nothing. Neither choice was completely acceptable. I thought there had to be another way. A third option. And, I think I've figured it out. If the time comes, there's no cure, and we're about to be exposed... I plan on revealing myself first."

     His two companions looked at him as if he'd just lost his mind.

     "Not to the Black Organization, of course. Nor even Ran. Not yet, anyway. That, I definitely want to do as Shinichi. If the time comes, I'm going to tell the truth to someone who might willingly accept the danger."

     "The police?" Agasa asked, following Conan's line of thought.

     "Right. I've been around a few of the officers there long enough that they know I'm unusually smart for a kid. Inspector Megure, specifically, knows me as both Conan and Shinichi. Ran's English teacher is an F.B.I. agent who knows something of the Organization. I think, if I have to, I can convince them of who I really am. The fact that you two, my parents, and Heiji Hattori can back up any claims I make can help me there."

     "I see." Haibara said, "Instead of running and hiding, or embracing a losing battle, you will seek allies and form an organized resistance. But then, why not do so now?"

     "I'd rather start the fight as Shinichi Kudo, not Conan Edogawa." Conan replied, momentarily forgetting his sewing, "If only because, as Shinichi, I can better defend myself and anyone else who might need it. Plus, while you work on a cure, I can begin to make more of a point of showing my stuff to the police and others during cases. Making my abilities clear rather than trying to hide them. To make them wonder just enough. That will make the eventual revelation less of a shock.

     "Plus, I still need time to think of a clear plan of attack against the Organization. Also, I have to consider how best to protect those close to me when it all starts. The moment I become a serious enough threat to them, Ran and others could be in danger, regardless of how much or how little they know."

     "True. As it is, the Organization isn't likely to kill anybody who knows nothing. If only for the fact that killing too many people, even by 'accident,' would attract unwanted attention, and cause the very thing they wished to prevent."

     "So," Dr. Agasa said, "you're going to wait for a full cure and, in the meantime, set up for how to deal with the Black Organization?"

     "Right." The group worked in silence for several minutes.

     "So, Haibara, how about you? Come to any decision yet?"

     "Not entirely..." she said truthfully, "I honestly don't share your optimism on how things will work out. If the time comes for it to be necessary, I'll be taking the purging agent."

     "Can't say I'm surprised." Conan said as he concentrated on his sock, "I kind of thought that's what you'd do."

     "Oh?" Haibara asked.

     "Your little body is an effective disguise. If we had no other choice, I can see you using it. It's the more practical solution. You probably had an easy time with this."

     "Odd, I thought you'd be the one to have an easy time. But you say you were up all night?"

     "Yeah. What little sleep I got wasn't too restful, either." he said with a slight chuckle.

     After an entire day of sewing, Conan, Agasa, and Haibara's hands were tired, sore, and, in a few cases, bleeding from needlepoint pricks. While they worked, Ayumi had called and told Haibara her parents were taking her to see a movie and, as she was still concerned for her friend's mood, invited her to come along. To Conan's surprise, Haibara agreed readily.

     "You do realize that you're likely to see some family fare kiddy movie?" he asked as Dr. Agasa refolded all of Haibara's socks and set them into a laundry basket to be put back later.

     "I do." Haibara replied, "But, if I'm to be a child all over again for good, I should probably get some practice in. Besides, a little distraction doesn't sound like a bad idea after the past day."

     Conan just shrugged. Haibara left to change her clothes, taking the laundry basket with her. When she was out of the room, Conan looked to the older doctor and looked him right in the eyes.

     "Haibara... she intends to take the other cure no matter what, doesn't she?"

     The doctor was shocked, "Shinichi, how did you-"

     "I didn't. I was guessing. She decided to use the other cure if things got to hairy. That I understand. She's so practical it would probably be the easy choice to make. But she had just as much trouble as I did. Why would that be unless she wasn't completely sure, one way or the other? And... why not tell me?"

     Conan felt honestly hurt by Haibara's apparent lack of trust.

     "She has a very good reason for that, Shinichi." Dr. Agasa said as he told Conan of the girl's return from the park.

     "So, is this about the other cure?" the Doctor asked.

     Haibara nodded.

     "Have you made a decision on the matter, already."

     "Well... To be honest, I'm not completely sure, yet. But yes, I think I know what I will do. I think that, when the time comes, regardless of whether we find a complete cure or not... I will remain as I am."

     "The other cure, then." Agasa said, not surprised entirely by that, however, "But... regardless of a real cure?"

     "Yes." Haibara nodded, "I've given this some thought. And while I may yet change my mind, I believe I am better off remaining Ai Haibara. When you get right down to it, what does Shiho Miyano have to return to except a life on the run without friends or family?"

     "I wouldn't say no friends." Agasa said as he finished another of Haibara's socks.

     "I certainly couldn't stay here if I returned to normal. The Black Organization would realize you helped me. And Kudo-kun would be discovered almost instantly after. If I were to remain after becoming Shiho Miyano again, you wouldn't have a chance. Neither would I, for that matter."

     Dr. Agasa didn't respond. She wasn't wrong.

     "It may sound silly... even childish." she said with a chuckle, "But here, I have people who are actually concerned about my well being. Not a very familiar thought for me to have. As Shiho, the only person I really had was Oneechan."

     "That's not silly at all." Dr. Agasa replied, "Knowing you're not alone is a powerful thing Ai-kun."

     "Which reminds me..." Haibara said hesitantly, "Would you please not tell Kudo-kun what I've decided?"

     "What?!" Agasa asked, so surprised he accidentally pricked his finger with a sewing needle.

     "Why in the world not?" he said while trying to find a bandage for his finger.

     "You just said it."

     "Could you explain?" Agasa asked, slightly irritated by her being vague and his bleeding appendage.

     "Kudo-kun once asked me if I found it embarrassing to be a child like this. To study and play with seven year olds. I told him that I did, but I could handle it. I could handle it because he was there. Going through everything I was. Feeling everything I felt.

     "It's just as you said, Doctor. Knowing you're not alone is a powerful thing. That simple piece of knowledge can make even the most horrible of situations bearable. That's why he can't know yet. If we tell him that I'll remain this way no matter what, then he might see it as my abandoning him.

     And... he would be right. Even though I fully intend to wait until a real cure for him can be found before using mine, I would be leaving him alone. I would move forward on my own path, while he's still trapped on his part of the road. He's done a lot for me since I came here. I can't do something like that to him."

     Again, Dr. Agasa was unable to think of a suitable response.

     "All right." he said after a moment, "I won't tell him. Your decision is entirely your own affair. Just as Shinichi's is his. I'll respect your wishes. Even though I don't entirely agree with your secrecy."

     "Thank you, Doctor." Haibara told him.

     Conan was floored. Haibara was keeping her choice secret for his sake.

     "Shinichi..."

 & nbsp;   "Doctor," Conan said, "Don't let Haibara know you told me."

     "Ugh... you too...?" Agasa whined. Shinichi and Ai were supposed to be in this together. Not keep secrets like this from one another.

     But Conan didn't want Haibara to know he knew the truth now. He didn't want her to feel unnecessary guilt over her decision if it could be avoided. She was going for something she wanted, and Conan couldn't begrudge her that. Or blame her, for that matter. Her worries that she might be leaving him alone had some validity, but knowing the truth he didn't feel alone.

     He watched as Ai Haibara pulled on her shoes and jacket and went outside when Ayumi's parents came to pick her up. If he looked carefully, Conan thought she actually appeared to be looking forward to the coming picture. Chatting with Ayumi, who met her at the front gate.

     The simple knowledge that you aren't alone can sometimes make all the difference. For Shinichi Kudo, knowing his fellow teenaged child intended to share his path with him, until their two roads forked, made Shinichi realize just what a friend he'd had in Haibara. The fact she wanted it kept secret for his sake, proved that. She just as easily could take her cure now and be done with it. But she would wait. Knowing that fact didn't make him feel alone. Quite the opposite. He would do all he could to return that friendship.

     Whether it took weeks, months, or even years, when the day came; when Shinichi Kudo resumed his old life, and Ai Haibara began her new one, he'd do all he could to keep her safe. He would fight with all he had, so that she could actually live that new life. Live without having the syndicate's shadow looming over her.

     So that nobody would ever have to live like that. Ever again.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: For anybody who's curious. The name "Orbital Query" is based on a song titled "Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Bebop)" by Q-Feel. Each of hte five chapter titles are also lyrics from the same song.

The reason that song is used as the title is because of a set of lyrics that kept coming to mind as I wrote and pretty much spell out Ai & Conan's problem: Slow? Slow? Quick? Quick? Slow?