Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction / Outlaw Star Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond the Screen ❯ Bebop Three-Hop ( Chapter 4 )

Note: There are…pairings in this chapter. Seeing as how I've NEVER seen an OS/CB crossover, I winged it. So the couples are the people I thought would best match up. I would tell you who now, but that would spoil my fun, and I must always have my fun. J YOU can argue if you want to, but it's my fic, and it's not like there's a flood of CB/OS stories clogging up the net, anyway. Heck, I DARE you to do this better! At least then there'll be another fic like this one…

2nd Note: You may want to read "Radical Edward: The Missing Link" before reading this chapter. It's not mandatory, though.

Session 4: Bebop Three-Hop

"Okay. We know she's in there. Lock and load."

Spike sighed and shook his head. "Jet, I think you're obsessing just a little bit."

"He is not." Faye checked her gun. "We've been stuck on this planet because of that kid!"

"So you're going to shoot her?" Spike asked.

"Well, no," Jet replied. "Just gonna put the fear of the Black Dog in her. Can't speak for Faye, though."

Spike looked at Faye, who had a feral grin on her face. "Look, you can't shoot her. Nut job that she is, we need Ed. She's gotten us out of some tight spots." He paused and shook his head. "Can't believe I'm defending her…"

"She's also put us in some," Faye growled.

"So has your mouth," Spike countered truthfully.

"Can't argue there," Jet chimed in. "But the fact is, Ed sabotaged my ship, and she still has my DOG!"

"Fine. But I'm going on record as saying this idea is crazier than anything Ed ever came up with."

"Noted." Jet hoisted the bazooka onto his shoulder. "Target sighted. Preparing to fire…"

* * * * *

It was amazing, the kind of clarity that a new morning could bring. At least, Jim thought so. The previous night, he'd gone to bed wondering who Ed reminded him of. During the night, it had come to him. Ed was wild, sneaky at times, deceptively strong, and definitely much smarter than she looked.

Of course, she wasn't really hairy unless you counted her hair, but other than that, she might as well have renamed herself Aisha II.

The more he thought about it, the more Jim was convinced that Ed could pass for a Ctarl-Ctarl (save for the hairy part). And he liked Ctarl-Ctarl. Well…he liked Aisha. He hadn't exactly met any others, though maybe that was a good thing.

Jim yawned as he stepped into the kitchen…and froze. If there had been any doubt about his theory, it faded away when he took in the scene at the breakfast table. Aisha and Ed were both shoveling food into their mouths at an alarming rate, barely taking time to breathe.

Gene, Melfina, and Suzuka were watching in a kind of amazed silence. Ein was gobbling up the larger bits of food that hit the floor between them.

Jim took a seat between Ed and Gene and began to eat.

Realizing they might not get another chance, Gene and others quickly filled their plates.

"So Jim," Gene muttered to his young partner. "Is it just me or is your friend Ed starting to look like Aisha's long-lost little sister or something?"

Jim watched Ed & Aisha bite into their pieces of toast ravenously. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Yeah, right."

Suddenly, Aisha's head snapped up, and she looked directly at Gene.

"What?" Gene asked, looking confused.

"I…smell…something," Aisha murmured, her eyes narrowing.

"So?"

"Gene…did you take a shower this morning?"

Gene glared at her. "Not that it's any of your business, but yeah."

"And what did you do after that?'

Gene frowned. "I got DRESSED!"

"Then what did you do IN the shower?"

For a moment, Gene's face was nearly as red as his hair. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said at last, stuffing some bacon into his mouth.

Aisha sniffed again and grinned at him.

"STOP THAT!" Gene shouted, jumping up from the table. "You're freaking me out!"

Ed stopped eating and sniffed. "Hey! Ed knows that smell!"

Gene's eyes widened in something resembling fear.

"Ed smells it whenever Spike gets sick and goes into the bathroom for a looooooong time. He usually has some magazines and-"

"SHUT UP!" Gene yelled, looking nervous.

Melfina stared at him. "Gene, what's wrong?"

Jim's eyes suddenly widened in realization…and it took all of his strength of will not to laugh.

Meanwhile, Ed hadn't stopped her stroll down memory lane. "And then Ed heard Spike calling for Faye-Faye, but when Ed went to get Faye-Faye, he was calling for Julia, and Ed didn't even KNOW anyone named Julia, so Ed got Ein instead, and-"

Jim chose that moment to clamp his hand over Ed's mouth. "Say, Aisha," he chuckled nervously. "How about we go outside and you show Ed your…um…stronger form?"

Ed's eyes lit up, and she pulled away from Jim. "Please show Ed!" she pleaded, clinging to Aisha's arm. "Ed wants to see!"

"Well…okay," Aisha finally agreed, acting as if she didn't WANT to show off…which, of course, she did. "But after breakfast."

"Yaaaay!" Ed cheered. She instantly began to eat faster, something no one had thought possible.

Jim sighed in relief. He and Aisha both knew very well that Ctarl-Ctarl could only transform during a full moon, but apparently, Aisha knew Jim well enough to know when he was trying to escape a…sticky…situation.

"Pardon the intrusion, but there are three people trying to enter the ship," Gilliam reported. "They appear to be armed and very dangerous."

"Does one of them have a really shiny arm?" Ed asked through a mouthful of eggs.

"Yes, Edward. He seems to have some other cybernetic attachments as well."

"Oh, that's Jet," Ed explained. "He feeds Ein sometimes. Maybe he came looking for us."

"He needs a gun for that?" Gene asked, sounding suspicious.

"Well, would YOU enter a strange ship unarmed?"

"You did," Gene pointed out.

"Did not. Ed is armed!"

"Oh yeah? With what?"

Ed dove across the table and sank her teeth into Gene's arm.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Ed, no!" Jim cried, yanking her off.

"DEATH TO ALL WHO DEFY THE CTARL-CTARL EMPIRE!" Ed shouted as Jim dragged her away.

Gene threw an accusing glare at Aisha while Melfina bandaged his wrist. "You put her up to this!"

Aisha grinned toothily. "Can I help it if a delicate flower such as myself has radical, violent admirers?" She finished her breakfast and stood up to follow Jim. "Oh, and Gene," she added as she reached the door. "I hope you can…CONTROL YOURSELF…while we're gone." She winked at Melfina and strolled out.

"What did she mean?" Melfina asked, looking confused.

"Nothing," Gene muttered, trying to appear calm.

Suzuka glanced at him and snorted in disgust. "I should've known you were that kind of man, Starwind."

"And you're trying to tell me you NEVER even-"

"No, I haven't."

Gene smirked. "So THAT'S why you can't get the stick out of your-"

Suzuka subtly placed a hand on her bokken and continued to eat her breakfast.

Gene took the hint and focused on his own, ignoring the throbbing pain in his wrist.

* * * * *

Much to Jim's surprise, Ed wasn't too upset when they explained that Aisha couldn't transform until the moon was out. Instead, she entertained herself by seeing how many cartwheels she could do before she got too dizzy and crashed. The experiment was not going well, as she'd slammed into the ship several times already.

"Tough little kid, isn't she?" Aisha said as she watched, almost proudly.

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing," Jim replied, wincing. "Hey, Aisha…how come you were able to smell Gene? I know you've got great senses and all, but you've never smelled him before."

"Oh, that." Aisha thought for a moment. "Ever heard of PMS?"

Jim stared at her. "Yeah, but I didn't think Ctarl-Ctarl-"

"We don't. But females go through a process at certain times during the year where their senses become heightened, among other things. That's why I could smell him."

"Other things?" Jim asked, trying not to sound too nosy.

"Other WOMAN things," Aisha said, a hint of a growl in her voice.

Jim took the hint. "Right. So…how come Ed smelled it, too?"

Aisha blinked. "No idea, Jimmy boy. I can't figure out how she did that, either."

"Well…don't take this the wrong way or anything…but if Ed had hair and claws and everything…do you think she could be a young Ctarl-Ctarl?"

Aisha stared at Ed for a long moment. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, Jimmy?"

"It just occurred to me last night how similar you two are, and I got to wondering, so…yeah."

"Hmm. Well, there's one way to be sure." Aisha raised her voice a bit. "Hey, Ed! Come over here for a minute!"

Ed scrambled up from where she had fallen and bounded over to Aisha. "Ed is here!"

Jim watched as Aisha cupped Ed's face in her hands and peered into her eyes for a few seconds. Then she ran her hands over Ed's cheeks, shoulders, and legs. Finally, she pulled Ed close and sniffed her red hair.

Ed didn't seem to be bothered by any of this, and actually began to sniff Aisha's fingers.

Then Aisha leaned down, assumedly to check Ed's legs again.

Ed startled them both by raising her foot, as if she'd expected this.

Aisha's hands shook slightly as she took Ed's foot in her hands and ran her fingers over the sole.

Ed giggled a bit, but otherwise said nothing.

Frowning, Aisha went to Ed's hair again, sniffing longer this time. After a few minutes, she let go.

Ed stared up at her expectantly.

"So?" Jim asked.

Aisha sighed. "Ed, why don't you try those cartwheels again?"

Much to Jim's dismay, Ed did just that.

"What'd you find out?" he asked.

Aisha frowned again. "All I can say for sure is this, Jimmy." She sighed again and shook her head. If Ed's a human, she's the most catlike human I've ever met. And…if she's a Ctarl-Ctarl…" Aisha paused, her lip quivering in rage, "then I'll gut whoever stole her from us."

Jim had the good sense to back away. "You think she might be…?"

"Her hair's been dyed for so long that it's impossible to determine the original color. Her scent is so mixed up that I can't tell what she is. And we have similar bone structures, but hers is slightly different."

"Then doesn't that make her human?"

"Not at all. The few Ctarl-Ctarl that are stolen from the home planet are sold into slavery or something similar. Of course, that's illegal, so they have to convince authorities that the cat creatures they have aren't Ctarl-Ctarl."

Jim had a bad feeling about where the conversation was going. "How do they do that?"

"It used to just be bribes, but lately, it's gotten worse." Aisha growled softly. "They just make sure the cubs can't be identified as Ctarl-Ctarl. That means clipping their claws, cutting off their tails, even rearranging their bones."

"By…breaking them?" Jim asked weakly.

"Or worse," Aisha answered. "Maybe removing some of them completely."

"But wouldn't Ed….KNOW…if that happened to her?" Jim asked desperately.

"Of course not. If she knew, she could tell somebody. They always make sure you don't know. Probably convinced her she was just a weird human."

"Well, you have to admit that she is a little different."

"Or a lot different," Aisha whispered, looking at her own fingers.

* * * * *

Faye had the big, furry thing in her sights. "Can I shoot it?"

"Well, Ed said they were her friends," Jet replied. "And she does look pretty happy."

Faye lowered her gun. "So why did we come armed again?"

"To make sure that Ed & Ein came back with us, by force if necessary."

"Well, I don't see the mutt," Faye whispered.

"He's probably inside." Spike lit a cigarette and closed his eyes. "Can we get this over with?"

"If you insist," said a voice from directly in front of him.

Spike opened his eyes, not too surprised to see the big, furry thing glaring at him. Beside her was a woman with what looked like a wooden sword. Spike had a feeling neither of them was exactly harmless.

"You weren't going to try and shoot Aisha with that thing, were you?" the woman asked. "Because it would've upset her at the very least."

Jet and Faye both lowered their weapons. Since Spike was unarmed, he didn't do anything.

"That's better. Are you pirates?" the woman asked.

"What?" Faye asked.

"Bounty hunters," Jet replied slowly.

"Is there a certain bounty you might be looking for here?"

"No," Spike said calmly. "Just a missing member of our crew."

Aisha raised an eyebrow. "Ed?"

"That's the one." He glanced at Jet. "Her and the dog."

Aisha suppressed the urge to growl. "Where did you meet her?"

"Earth."

"And she…chose to come with you?"

Spike looked suspicious. "Yeah. That's right. In fact, Faye didn't want her to come along at all, but Ed insisted."

Faye glared at Spike.

"And why did you need guns again?" the woman asked.

"We didn't know what we'd be up against," Spike replied.

"Obviously, if you thought guns would stop ME," Aisha muttered.

Suzuka silenced her with a glare. "Well, Ed's gone back inside. You're welcome to join us…provided you leave the weapons outside."

Spike showed that his pockets were empty and walked past Aisha. Jet did the same, but when Faye started to pass, Aisha growled. Faye froze.

"Would you mind removing the gun hidden in your jacket?" Suzuka asked sweetly.

Faye dropped the gun and was allowed to pass.

"This should be…interesting," Suzuka murmured as she and Aisha followed them inside.

* * * * *

Gene decided that he didn't like Ed very much. It wasn't because she acted like a smaller version of Aisha, or because everyone else seemed to like her. It was because Ed was obviously not human, and no one else could see it but him. Of course, whenever he tried to explain that she was a creature and should be shot, everyone gave him death glares and said he was unusually cruel.

Gene disagreed. The MacDougalls were unusually cruel. HE was trying to save his own butt. There was a big difference. There was no guarantee that Ed hadn't given him rabies or something worse, either. But since he couldn't do anything about it, the little maniac was parading around HIS ship, making more noise than Aisha ever had.

Gene honestly tried to stay away from her, so he wouldn't be tempted. Never mind the fact that he'd gone to the bridge to clean his guns. If Ed just HAPPENED to wander in while he was aiming, well, that was HER problem, not his.

But as it turned out, Ed wasn't the next person on the bridge.

Gene was just wondering if he should use a regular shell or a "soul-sucker" on her when he heard the footsteps. They sounded suspiciously like heeled boots, and figuring it was only Suzuka, he kept cleaning his gun.

But when he looked up, the woman standing there was obviously not Suzuka, and Gene was glad of it. Suzuka had never looked THAT good, not even when he'd snatched off her sash that one time…

For no good reason at all, the gun went off in his hand.

"Gene, please!" Gilliam cried. "You'll damage my consoles!"

Gene quickly unloaded the shells before he ended up shooting himself in the foot.

The woman smirked and shook her head. By then, Suzuka really had come in, and it only took her a few seconds to realize what must have happened. She grunted in disgust and walked right back out.

"Don't mind Suzu," Aisha said to the woman. "She's always like that."

"And is he," the woman asked, nodding to Gene, "always this excitable?"

"Oh, that's just Gene," Aisha replied, making his name sound as about exciting as hot garbage. "You can ignore him. Well, you should try, anyway."

Gene glared at her. "About time the cat dragged in something useful."

Aisha growled. "Gene Starwind, don't make me come over there…"

"Fine, I'll insult you from here."

Aisha grinned toothily. "Ed?"

Gene's smile faded as Ed bounced into view.

Aisha pointed at Gene. "Sic."

Ed leaped onto Gene's shoulders and began combing through his hair with her fingers.

Aisha chuckled cruelly as she walked out. "THAT should keep you busy for a while."

Gene wasn't sure what was worse: Aisha getting the best of him, Ed treating him like a monkey, or having a beautiful woman watch it all.

"Are things always this interesting on the Outlaw Star?" she asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Gene muttered.

"So are you the one Ed came to see?"

Gene blinked. "What makes you think that?"

She nodded at his red hair. "Aren't you her father?"

Gene's face went totally blank.

"Oh…guess not…"

"Papa!" Ed chirped, latching onto his neck.

"Thank you EVER so much, miss," Gene growled.

The woman giggled. "It's Faye."

"Faye-Faye!" Ed cheered.

"Well, I WAS Gene. But I guess I'm just 'Papa' now…"

Faye smiled. "You're cute when you're mad."

Gene arched an eyebrow. "I thought that was my line?"

"Well, I'm not mad," Faye pointed out. "And you ARE cute, anyway."

"I bet you say that to all the outlaws."

"Nope!" Ed chimed in. "Just fake lawyers and he-she people and bounty hunters with poofy hair!"

Gene grinned as Faye glared at Ed. "Well, well. You ARE cute when you're mad."

"Quiet, you. BOTH of you."

* * * * *

"…and this is the cargo hold. Well, everyone else calls it that. I call it the Citadel."

"And why's that?" Jet asked.

Jim shrugged. "No one ever thinks to look for me here. Sometimes, you just wanna be alone. Y'know?"

"Way ahead of you, kid." Jet took a long look around the hold. "Nice setup you got down here. You could get some serious work done."

"Trust me, I have. This is where I pull the all-nighters that keep us from getting shot out of the sky. Gene isn't exactly the plan-ahead type."

"Sounds a lot like my partner," Jet muttered.

"You mean his gun is an extension of his oversized ego?"

"Well, the ego part is right. Spike doesn't use guns that much. Guess that ship of his would qualify, though…"

Jim grinned. "Let me guess. He gets into life and death fights three times a week, and most of them he's lucky to walk away from."

"Almost. It's more like a daily thing…"

"At least I was close. Hey, could you help me move some of this stuff? I'm trying to make room for scanning equipment, but I don't really have the strength."

"Yeah, sure." Jet easily moved a large box aside. "I'm guessing you don't get much help around here?"

"Well…it's not that," Jim said slowly. "Aisha helps, but moving heavy things is boring to her, and I can only keep her down here for a while. Suzuka never seems to be around when I need help. Mel honestly does try, but she's better off in the kitchen. And Gene…well…let's just say he's better off in a bar fight."

Jet chuckled. "Exactly like Spike."

"So…um…if it's not too personal or anything…what happened to your arm?"

"Oh, that. Well, let's put it like this. One night I didn't plan ahead, and somebody else did. So you stick to your guns, kid, unless you want to end up like this."

"It wouldn't be so bad," Jim reasoned. "I could do any repairs myself, provided I still had one good hand."

"I bet you could." Jet chuckled softly. "So, you're the one Ed came to see, huh?"

Jim blinked. "What makes you think that?"

"You're a kid hacker and probably the smartest one in your crew. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Besides, you've got dog hair on your jacket." Jet poked him in the ribs. "So, you like her?"

Jim blushed. "What?!"

"C'mon, I won't tell anyone. You do, don't you?"

"So what if I do?" Jim muttered.

"Good for you. Never find another like her, I promise you."

"I kinda figured that."

"And one more thing."

"Yeah?"

Jet's face became serious. "You hurt her, and maybe you'll get that metal arm sooner than you think. We understand each other, kid?"

Jim gulped. "Um…weren't you supposed to be moving the heavy stuff?" he asked weakly.

Jet grinned. "Yeah. Right." He made a big show of moving things with his metal arm, just to show off its strength.

Jim sighed and shook his head. "No wonder they came here looking for Ed," he thought. "They're almost like her parents or something."

"Jim! Are you down there?" a voice called.

"Yeah, Mel!" he shouted. "What is it?"

"Can you check and see if we have any salt, please?"

"Sure!" Jim quickly found a bag of salt that was almost as big around as him.

"You'll never make it up the ladder with that," Jet pointed out. "Of course, if you had a metal arm…"

"Well, since YOU do, a little help, please?!"

Jet took the bag of salt and followed Jim up the ladder. He was about to ask what they were having for dinner when he saw…her.

She was an angel. She was a goddess. She was perfection.

And he had a vague feeling that he might be drooling.

"Mel can take you to the kitchen," he heard Jim saying. "I better go make sure Gene hasn't done anything to Ed."

Jet's mouth worked, and before he knew it, it had gone and spoken without his permission. "You're…uh…"

Melfina looked up at him expectantly. "Yes?"

"Nice," he said at last. "To look at," he added, then wished he hadn't.

Melfina blushed. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Um…the kitchen's this way…"

Jet sighed and shook his head. "THAT went well…"

* * * * *

Spike was annoyed. It had taken him nearly ten minutes to lose the pink thing (that insisted he couldn't smoke inside the ship), only to run into a blue one that was just as bothersome. Finally, he'd dropkicked it into the wall, and hadn't seen any more since. He was looking for anything resembling an ashtray (mainly a toilet) when he came across the room.

There was an interesting smell coming from it. He couldn't place it at first, but then it came to him.

Incense. Incense and sweat. The kind of sweat that could only be achieved by pushing yourself to your limits…or standing directly over a raging fire.

He tried the door, found it unlocked, and slowly pushed it open.

The sight that instantly greeted his eyes was what appeared to be nothing but steam clouds. The warm humidity of the room put him in mind of a sauna. He instantly regretted wearing his suit and reached up to loosen his tie…only to find something blocking his hand.

It had been years since he'd seen one, but fighting nut that he was, it only took Spike a few moments to recognize it, even through the steam.

"A bokken, huh? Don't see one of those every day."

The wooden sword was suddenly jerked away from his wrist, just as the door slammed behind him.

Spike wasn't sure, but he thought he could see someone moving through the steam.

Naturally, he was a bit shocked when the bokken was pressed into the small of his back, even as what felt like an arm curled around his neck from behind.

"You have a good eye for ancient weaponry, but you're not a very good bounty hunter," a voice whispered in his ear.

Spike chuckled softly. "Trust me, lady, if I'd come here looking for a bounty, you'd know."

"Oh?" the voice asked curiously. "Then what were you looking for?"

"Doesn't matter now," Spike replied. "I think I just found it."

"I don't think you have any idea what you've just found."

"Well, I've got a better idea," Spike said, reaching around to grab what felt like a sash. "Why don't you show me?"

"As you wish," said the voice, though now it was directly in front of him.

Spike dropped the sash and started to move. As soon as he did so, his clothes fell off in shreds. "Well, THAT was inventive…"

"I call it the Widow's Web."

"So now you're going to kill me?"

"Maybe later." This time, two arms wrapped around his neck. "Much later…"

* * * * *

Jim looked up from the game of Virtua Chess. "Aisha, don't you think it's been a little too quiet today?"

Aisha was too busy with her video game to look at him. "Well, you can't expect things to stay the same with a bunch of new people around. Besides, your knight's in trouble."

Jim looked down just as Ed took his last knight. "Ah!"

Ed giggled. "You're losing!"

"Yeah, like I couldn't figure that out on my own…"

Just then, Gilliam's pink drone appeared. "Jim, I must insist that you scan visitors more thoroughly next time! There are so many security hazards and rules being broken at the moment that I've lost count!"

"Like what?" Jim asked.

"That rude man in the blue suit destroyed one of my drones, polluted the air with his cigarettes, and broke into Suzuka's room!"

Jim's eyes widened, and he started to get up.

"Go back to your game, Jimmy," Aisha said. "Suzuka can handle herself. Trust me on this one."

"Are you sure, Aisha?"

"Positive," Aisha said with a toothy grin on her face. Under her breath, she added, "No wonder there's so many humans, if they always go at it like rabbits…"

* * * * *

Next Session: Black Dog Bass

Bored and tired of striking out with love, Jet, Aisha, and Ein head to a local bar, while Jim & Ed take in the nightlife. Gene makes the mistake of starting a card game with Faye, and when Spike & Suzuka join in, things just get interesting…