Cowboy Bebop Fan Fiction / Outlaw Star Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond the Screen ❯ Session 5: Black Dog Bass ( Chapter 5 )

Note: Sorry this took so long. Life got in the way, and I needed to see CB one more time. Thanks to those who reviewed and told me to get off my lazy butt and finish this. ^_^ Oh, and this is set after the Leyline, but before the Bebop crew breaks up (obviously).

Session 5: Black Dog Bass

Jim poked his head into Aisha's room. "Aisha, can I ask you something kinda…um…personal?"

Aisha glanced up from training with her weights. "Sure, Jimmy."

Jim swallowed nervously. "Have you ever…um…been on a date?"

Aisha grinned toothily at him. "Try again once you're legal, kiddo."

"NO! I meant Ed!" Jim cried, his face burning.

"Well, to answer your question, yes. I didn't have much time for dating, though, so it has been a while."

"So…where do you think I should take her?"

Aisha shrugged. "If you don't know what she likes by now, you're hopeless."

"She likes computers and dogs and food. How do I turn that into a date?"

"Maybe Gilliam knows some nice places to eat. He seems to know everything ELSE, anyway."

"I just figured you'd know better than he did, since we're still not sure if Ed's…well…one of you."

"Oh. Good point." Aisha scowled thoughtfully. "Try an all-you-can-eat place."

Jim shot her an exasperated look. "I figured that much out on my own!"

"Well, just keep stuffing her until she's full."

"Do you realize how much money that'll take?!"

"More than you and Gene have, I'll bet." Aisha shrugged. "It shouldn't really matter, anyway. From what I've seen, Ed likes you enough to take a disappointment or two. But don't screw with her food or she might bite you."

Jim turned bright red. "You…um…really think she likes me?"

"Well, I'll put it like this, Jimmy boy. Even if Ed isn't a Ctarl-Ctarl, she acts like one. Anyway, if it doesn't work out…"

Jim's face fell. "What?"

Aisha shrugged again. "I was serious about asking me again when you're legal. Maybe you don't have much luck with human girls, but on my home planet, you couldn't walk the streets without being mobbed."

Jim blinked in disbelief. "Did you just HIT on me?!"

"Merely stating a fact," Aisha corrected. "If I was hitting on you, you'd know it."

"Right. Well…uh…I'm going now…"

She winked at him. "Bye, Jimmy. And good luck with the date."

Jim ran off before she could say anything else to freak him out.

* * * * *

It had been a long time since Spike had woken up next to beautiful woman, with the knowledge that the previous night gone very, very well. And as he woke up and stared into a pair of brilliant, amber eyes, he realized that he'd have to keep missing that feeling. The color of Suzuka's eyes currently escaped him, but he knew for a fact that they were not amber.

"Go away, Ed."

"But it's time for Spike to get up!" She bounced on his chest a few times to illustrate how much fun he'd have being up.

Spike pushed her away and sat up. "Where's Suzuka?"

"Sword lady left reeeeal early!"

"Just great." He hadn't expected Suzuka to stay, really. If he'd woken up first, he wouldn't have, either.

"Yup! And Faye-Faye made a new friend!"

Spike chuckled as he pulled on his shirt. "Well, Faye is a very friendly woman, Ed…"

* * * * *

"This isn't possible!" Gene cried, staring at his hand in disbelief.

"Afraid it is," Faye replied, giggling a bit. "You now owe me almost three times what this ship might be worth." It was amazing how gullible men were. Even Jet had figured out the scam just before she'd had the chance to become the proud, new owner of several banzai trees. She would've given them back eventually, anyway, as they looked funny and were just a waste of water, as far as she was concerned.

"I've never lost this much before," Gene insisted.

"You've never played Lady Luck herself," Faye said. "Wanna try again? Double or nothing?"

Gene was about to say yes when someone grabbed his ear.

"And just HOW MUCH of our money did you lose?!" Jim hissed, pinching the ear harder.

"OW!" Gene swatted him away. "Not that much. It was just-"

"Three times what the ship is worth," Faye said quickly.

"HEY! You said ALMOST!"

"Did I?" Faye asked softly, leaning forward to place a finger under his chin.

"Three times Gilliam," Gene murmured at once, a goofy grin on his face.

Jim scowled. "MPU, how much did Mr. Smooth here lose?"

"According to my data banks, Mr. Smooth has lost exactly seventy-three thousand, five hundred woulongs, a rather large chunk of dragonite, three Castor shells, and a very stylish pair of work goggles. I believe those were yours, Jim."

"That is definitely NOT three times Gilliam!" Jim shouted, glaring at Faye. "It's barely even three times the bridge alone! This ship is priceless!"

"Gene gave me an exact price," Faye said, sniffing haughtily.

"Gene would give you ANYTHING to get in your pants," Jim muttered loudly.

"Not unlike every other man I've met," Faye replied, beaming.

"I'm surrounded by idiots and…and…" Jim trailed, trying to think of a suitable word to describe Faye without really offending her.

"Scam artists?" she suggested.

"EXACTLY!" With that, he stormed out of the bridge, determined to find some intelligent life. "MPU, if Gene tries to lose any more of our stuff, fry him!"

A panel in the ceiling slid open, and a sinister-looking laser lowered, aimed at Gene's head.

Gene gulped. "Maybe we better stop for now…"

* * * * *

Jet was not in a good mood. He felt he was fairly justified in that, too.

It wasn't fair. Spike got ALL the girls. Even Faye secretly wanted him, but she'd never admit it.

And that left Jet with…well, nothing. Again. That was really starting to suck.

He'd already ruined anything resembling a chance with Melfina. But then, there was no guarantee that she wouldn't have seen him as too old. After all, everyone ELSE did…

He sighed and tried not to be obvious about watching her play catch with Ein.

Even the damn data dog had it easy. Smart as he was, all he had to do was look at Melfina and she'd melt.

Jet wanted to have that power, if only for a night. Just once, he'd like a pretty lady look at HIM and melt.

"Good boy, Harry!" Melfina said, rubbing Ein's head. "You're a good dog, yes you are!"

Jet whimpered in his throat as Ein rolled over and got a belly rub. Life was SO unfair. HE wanted a belly rub, dammit! And at this point, it didn't even matter if was from Melfina or not. Hell, he'd even take Ed, she wouldn't care, so long as she got to water his banzai trees. Even that cat-woman-thing would do. Jet wasn't a picky man. He couldn't afford to be, at his age, and… Dammit, he WAS old.

Just then, the cat-woman-thing came out of the ship and spotted him. She grinned and walked over. "Hey."

Jet blinked. Was a woman actually TALKING to him and not cringing in disgust? Well, it would figure she wasn't human…

"Give it up," she advised, nodding at Melfina (dammit, now she was KISSING Ein!). "Mel's got the hots for Gene, and he's too busy following Faye around right now."

"What happened to my life?" Jet moaned pitifully.

The cat-woman-thing patted his shoulder sympathetically. "I hear ya." She brightened. "Hey. Wanna go get drunk?"

Jet stared at her in disbelief. "It's not even noon!"

"It will be by the time we're conscious. Then we can get drunk again."

Jet considered that. He could use a drink. Hell, if the Black Dog couldn't even get a belly rub, he damn sure wasn't getting deprived of the one pleasure he still had left. "You're right. Let's go."

Melfina was just thinking of throwing the stick again when Ein suddenly barked and took off. "Wait, Harry! Where are you going?"

Then she saw the little dog tailing Aisha and Jet as they walked off.

"Well…maybe he and Aisha will get along…" she said hopefully. As long as the strange man stayed away from her…

* * * * *

"Oooooh, you're gonna lose!" Ed teased.

"I am NOT!" Jim insisted, punching the keyboard wildly. "C'mon, left, LEFT!!!"

The spaceship finally veered left, but managed to gracefully clip an asteroid, causing it to go spinning out of control.

"GAH! NO!" Jim wailed as it crashed into a space station.

"Having fun, kids?" Spike asked as he wandered into Jim's room.

"Jim is losing!" Ed announced in a singsong voice.

Jim mumbled something under his breath and clicked Restart.

Spike blinked. "Uh…yeah. I'm going."

"Going where?" Ed asked.

"Out."

"Out where?"

"There."

"Okay! Bring back something for Ed!"

Spike chuckled. "Sure."

"Yay!"

"You know," Jim said as Spike walked out, "he's probably going after a bounty."

"What makes Jim say that?"

"Because that's the EXACT same thing Gene says to me when he doesn't want me to go catch a bounty with him."

Ed shrugged and grinned. "But he's bringing back something for Ed!"

Jim rolled his eyes…then realized this was the perfect chance to ask her. "Hey, Ed…you wanna…go somewhere? With me?"

"Can we get something nice for Ed?"

"Uh…yeah. Why not?"

"Okay!" Ed hugged his neck. "Jim is losing again!" she sang.

Jim blushed before realizing. "What…? Ah! NOOO!!!"

* * * * *

Jet had decided. The cat-woman-thing wasn't half bad. As a drinking buddy, anyway.

"So how come you guys are bounty hunters?" Aisha asked.

Jet shrugged. "We all need the money."

"Sounds like us," Aisha murmured, downing another shot of rum. "I keep saying we should just sell a few of Gilliam's drones and get rich, but he won't let me."

"I know a guy that would pay tons for that wooden sword your friend has."

Aisha shook her head. "Nah. Suzu's touchy about her stuff. Heck, I think that sword IS all her stuff."

"Where'd she go, anyway?"

"Knowing her, probably out to get another bounty. She pulls in more money than any of us, but she never shares. For all we know, she could be rich by now."

Jet smirked. "Deadly, beautiful, and stingy. She's perfect for Spike."

"Only if he's as hotheaded as Gene."

Jet laughed. "You're kidding, right? Spike's the original hothead. There was this one time we ran into a cowboy that was after the same bounty, only HE thought Spike was the guy…"

* * * * *

Suzuka had almost laughed when she saw Rocket Racer's picture. Any full grown man who ran around dressed like a space program reject needed to have his butt handed to him…or at least his wings clipped.

It had never once crossed her mind that the fool might be wearing an authentic, working rocket pack. Especially since he'd just stolen fifty pounds of dynamite.

She'd been after him for a whole hour now, and he was REALLY starting to get on her nerves. Plus, she was almost certain that any minute now, he'd light a fuse and blow them both into the side of a building.

Rocket Racer looked over his shoulder and laughed. "Give it up, lady! Don't you know who I am?!"

"A dead man, as soon as I get my hands on you!" Suzuka shouted. Then she abruptly stopped running.

Thinking she'd given up, he laughed loudly and turned around…only to find himself looking up the barrel of the main cannon of the Swordfish.

"Bang," said Spike.

The actual bang was much louder, and took out most of a city block.

When the smoke cleared, Rocket Racer was little more than smoking, coughing mess.

Suzuka walked over and yanked him up by the collar. "Tell me one thing. Why do you only steal dynamite?"

"Rocket Racer always…goes out with…a bang, baby…" He passed out.

Suzuka sighed and tossed away the ruined rocket pack.

Spike strolled out of the smoke, a cigarette in one hand. "Hey."

Suzuka frowned at him. "I suppose you'll want to split the reward."

"Actually, I was thinking we'd get you some new shoes with my half," Spike replied, nodding at her worn boots. "Unless, of course, you'd rather walk around like that…?"

Suzuka plucked the cigarette out of his hand before he could raise it to his lips. "I've had my fill of men and their smoke today," she said.

Spike grinned. "If I can't smoke, then you can't have any tea."

"Nonsense. Green tea is good for cleansing-"

"It tastes like hot dishwater."

"No matter what it tastes like, it doesn't poison you slowly. And it certainly isn't addictive."

Spike smiled. "I can think of one thing that's even more addictive and almost guaranteed to kill you twice as fast, if you do it often enough. Of course, it's ten times as fun…"

Suzuka rolled her eyes and put the cigarette back in his mouth before dragging Rocket Racer away.

Spike watched for a moment, then nodded. "Oh, yeah. She wants me." He grinned and followed her.

* * * * *

Jim frowned. "ED!" he hissed.

Ed glanced up from where she was busy chewing.

"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to eat that!"

Ed shrugged and continued chewing.

A moment later, she was approached (rather warily) by a waiter. "Excuse me…sir?" he asked. "Could you please NOT eat the ice swan…?"

Ten minutes and a bit of shouting later, Jim and Ed found themselves back on the street.

"Well, at least they didn't literally kick us out of this one," Jim sighed.

"Where are we going next, Jim?" Ed asked excitedly.

"Wherever they haven't heard of us yet," Jim replied, dragging her down the street.

Unknown to either of them, a certain man was watching them from across the street.

"Hey, Harry," he murmured, nodding slightly. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Yes," replied a voice from somewhere around his chest. "That's Gene Starwind's partner."

"No," the man said, grinning. "I mean the one behind him."

There was a slight pause. "You may be right, Ron. Never thought we'd see her again."

"Well, now that we have, I suggest we cash in on our investment," Ron suggested.

"I couldn't agree more, big brother."

* * * * *

Gene was not known for giving up when there was a gorgeous, scantily clad woman involved.

Faye was an INCREDIBLY gorgeous, scantily clad woman, and she wanted to play cards.

And so it wasn't long before Gene figured a way around Jim's "no more betting our stuff" rule.

Although something told him Jim wouldn't have approved of Strip Poker, either.

Especially since he'd just lost his cloak.

"Are you sure you know how to play?" Faye teased.

Gene glared at her. "Just deal. You won't be smiling when I beat the pants off you…literally."

"We'll see," Faye giggled, shooting him a wink.

Just then, the door slid open, and Suzuka walked in, followed closely by Spike. The two took one look at the cards and made a beeline for other parts of the ship.

"Hey, get back here, you two!" Gene called. "Join the game!"

"I prefer not to be involved in such pathetic displays of your supposed manhood, Gene," Suzuka said.

"And I prefer not to be involved where Faye's involved," Spike added, earning a glare from her.

"Aw, whassamatter?" Gene snickered. "You…CHICKEN?!"

Spike stiffened. "Damn. Now I HAVE to embarrass you." He headed to the table. "Deal me in."

"How about it, Suzuka?" Faye asked with a smirk. "Afraid you'll get beaten by a bunch of boys? Or me?"

Suzuka was many things, all of which she was certain were better than anything Faye had ever answered to.

Anyway, there was a chance to embarrass Gene.

"Deal the cards."

* * * * *

"That was fun!" Ed cheered.

Jim just looked at her. They'd spent most of the afternoon getting thrown out of restaurants and movies (all her fault, really), and SHE thought it was fun.

Well, at least she was easy to impress. Not that he'd had to do all that much.

Suddenly, Ed slipped her arms around his neck from behind and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks, Jim!"

"No problem, Ed," he murmured, fighting the urge to faint.

Just then, a large shadow fell over them.

"Hey, kid," said a low voice. "Long time no see."

Jim's blood ran cold. "Ron McDougall!"

"And associates," added another, unseen person, though Jim knew who he was right away.

Ron turned to Ed and smiled eerily. And then he said something that made Jim's jaw drop in shock.

"Hey, kitten. Been a while, hasn't it?"

Ed felt like she should know the man, but something prevented her from recognizing his face. His voice, though…it was oddly familiar, but she couldn't recall where she'd heard it.

"Now," said Ron, taking what looked like a cattle prod out of his coat. "We can do this the easy way, or the McDougall way…"

* * * * *

Aisha was on what Jet figured to be her fifty-second glass of rum when she froze, the glass inches from her lips.

"Hey, you okay, Aisha?" Jet asked. "Your fur's standing on end. Maybe you've had enough for one-"

The glass suddenly shattered in her hand, and she wasn't even aware of the blood and rum dripping to the floor.

Jet was clearly alarmed now. "Aisha, what's wrong?"

Aisha did not answer, but was instantly darting out of the side door, followed at a good distance by Ein, and then Jet, who had hastily thrown down some cash and hoped that it was enough to cover their drinks and the ruined glass.

And he was really starting to regret not being a cat-thing like Aisha, because they were damn fast when they needed to be.

And right then, Aisha REALLY needed to be.

* * * * *

Jim had not put up much of a fight, once Ed was down.

Although it had taken around three tries with the prod to do so, which was two more than Ron had expected her to take. And while he didn't like being wrong, he did appreciate how tough Ed had become. It would only jack up her market value. He squeezed the unconscious body on his shoulder in an almost affecionte manner.

Jim turned to glare at him. "What are you going to do with us?"

"None of your business. Don't worry, we're not going to kill you. Well, not really."

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning Harry needs a temporary body, and you're elected until we can get our hands on Starwind."

Jim almost totally ignored the fate they had for him. "Gene? But why?"

"Despite being a real jerk, he's in excellent condition."

"Not to mention the one Melfina's in love with," Harry added.

Jim scowled at Ron's coat, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. "You really think Melfina wouldn't notice that? She's naïve, not stupid."

"You let us worry about that," Ron said, poking him hard with the prod. "Next time, it'll be on."

Suddenly, something crashed into Ron and slammed him into the side of a building. He barely had time to cry out as he was tossed to the ground a few feet away.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY CUBS!!!" Aisha screamed as she dove at him again.

"Aisha, don't!" Jim cried as he scooped up Ed. "He's got a-!"

That didn't matter to Aisha. She had seen the prod already, and wasn't impressed by it. Although she might have been, once she found out that it was calibrated to take down even a full-grown Ctarl-Ctarl within five shocks.

At least, initially. Ron had learned considerably from Ed's treatment, and had upped the voltage quite a bit. He estimated it would only take two or three shocks to put Aisha down for good. Now was a perfect time to test the theory. So, with a maniacal grin, he shoved the prod into her stomach and let fry.

Blue electrical fire danced over Aisha's body as she shrieked in pain…and then bit down on the arm holding the prod. She tasted something metallic, wire-filled, and decidedly non-Terran like as she tore the artificial limb off.

Not that it stopped Ron, who had, by then, tossed the prod to the other arm, and jammed it into her neck.

Meanwhile, Jim had finally gotten a relatively safe distance away and yanked out his portable scanner. "Aisha!" he shouted. "Go for his chest! There's a big-"

"That's enough outta you!" Ron roared, pointing his remaining fist at Jim. Something flew from the knuckles and knocked Jim to the ground.

"RRRRRAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!" Aisha yelled, still clawing at him ferally. "DON'T YOU TOUCH MY-"

"And MORE than enough out of you!" Ron aimed the prod for her forehead.

To his shock, though, Aisha suddenly reared back, snarled, and bit clean through the prod.

The resulting explosion knocked them both out and to opposite sides of the street.

When Ron came to, Jim was the only other one even remotely conscious…which suit his purposes just fine. "You realize what this means, Harry?" he asked, grinning hugely. "We'd just planned to get the kitten back, but with a full-grown female to boot, we'll be set for life!"

"Which'll last you all of a minute," growled a new voice.

A shot was fired, and Ron hit the ground with a smoking hole in his chest.

"Nobody messes with my kids." Jet stepped from the shadows, eyeing the scene warily before moving over to Jim and Ed. "Hey, Jim. You okay, buddy?"

"Yeah," Jim moaned, clutching his head. "I think so. But…oh, Jet, he got Ed & Aisha with that thing…"

"I'll get the big one," Jet grunted, hoisting Aisha up on his shoulder. "C'mon, we better get `em back to your place." Then he paused. "Well, maybe we can learn something." He repositioned Aisha's weight, then grabbed Ron by the arm and dragged him along for the ride.

* * * * *

The game was not going as Gene had planned. "Something's not right here…"

"Losers always say that," Spike chuckled. "Although, they're usually wearing a bit more than you are."

"Dammit, somebody turned up the air! MPU!!!"

"I have done no such thing, sir. You are merely suffering the results of the loss of your clothing."

"I'm inclined to agree with him," Suzuka added. "It's your bad playing that lost your clothes, not anything we did."

"But nobody else has lost ANYTHING!"

"Can we help it if we keep tying?" Faye asked innocently.

"And that each of our ties is higher than your hand?" Spike chimed in, coughing suspiciously into his fist.

Gene narrowed his eyes. "Hey, WAIT A SECOND!!!"

Just then, Ein ran in, barking his head off.

"What's with the mutt?" Gene asked sullenly.

"Can't help you there. Only Ed & Jet speak Data Dog," Spike replied.

Melfina ran in, having heard the frantic barking. "What is it, Harry?" she asked, kneeling to pick him up.

Ein continued to bark nonstop.

Melfina's eyes widened. "Ed? And Jim?!"

Everyone looked at each other.

"Deal," Spike said nervously, and Faye quickly did just that.

* * * * *

Concluded in Session 6: Country Ctarl-Ctarl Cowgirl

(yes, I'm DESPERATE for musical titles now…)

Find out the fates of Aisha & Ed, as well as the rest of the crews. Yes, that's really the summary. Heh.