D. N. Angel Fan Fiction ❯ When Doves Cry ❯ Chapter 1

When Doves Cry:

 

Disclaimer: DN Angel does not belong to me, and `When Doves Cry' belongs to Quindon Tarver. Sorry, folks.

 

Warnings: Hints of shounen-ai, emotional scenes and some mention of homosexual relationships.

 

Labels: Angst, yaoi, language, AU in a way, OOC (bastardized Satoshi), mentions of rape and violence

 

A/N: Just had to get this out of my system. It's very, very different from all my other fanfics.

 

How can you leave me standing

Alone in a world that's so cold?

 

Daisuke sat alone in the large sofa. He sighed and stared unseeingly at the TV, his thoughts on something much more serious that the programme. He thought of the events of the past seven years. Dark and Krad had both gone back to sleep after he and Satoshi had confessed their feelings for each other. They'd gotten married after graduating from college and at that time, everyone had still been alive. Emiko had blessed them after seeing the extent of their love back then whilst Kosuke and Daikii had accepted the relationship from Day 1. Even Dark and Krad had accepted it-their disappearances from their respective tamers were proof of that. Now…though…something had gone wrong. Daisuke remembered the way things had started to fall apart. Around a year after their marriage, Satoshi had started to turn away from him when they slept. The redhead hadn't made a big fuss about it back then; he thought it was just the way Satoshi wanted to be. Then the other man had started to come home at later and later times. Before, he'd always made sure to come home before 11:00pm. Then it had slowly become 12. Then one. Daisuke soon gave up waiting for his husband to come home and as a result they rarely talked to each other in the evening. It had almost become a ritual; Daisuke would leave the dinner he'd prepared out on the table and go to bed. Satoshi would come home, reheat the food and eat in solitary silence. Then things had taken a turn for the worse; Satoshi began to drink. At first, it hadn't been very noticeable-Daisuke hadn't realised until his husband came home barely able to stand up.

 

He'd started to ask questions; what was wrong, what had happened, so on and so forth. Unfortunately, Satoshi passed out before Daisuke could get a decent answer. The redhead took care of his husband that night and asked the same questions the next day. Satoshi merely replied that he'd gotten carried away at the bar with his colleagues and Daisuke had shrugged off the reply as a perfectly normal one. After all, it had been the first time that Satoshi had actually come home so obviously stoned out of his mind.

 

This had continued, but Daisuke pretended to ignore it. He always told himself that Satoshi was fine, that he knew how to take care of himself. The bluenette continued to show small signs of affection towards Daisuke, but no longer in public. Gone were the warm glances, the slight touches, the small smiles that were only reserved for him. At times, Daisuke felt like a totally invisible person to Satoshi.

 

That wasn't the worst part though. After Daisuke had begged for Satoshi to come home earlier, the detective had shouted at him for being such a nag. It was the first time he had screamed at Daisuke angrily and the redhead, needless to say, was terrified. This happened time and time again, Daisuke always telling himself that it was the alcohol speaking. Besides, Satoshi would always wake up in the morning and beg forgiveness from Daisuke. Being the kind person that he was, Daisuke could not refuse it. Satoshi always promised not to drink anymore. He always promised to come back home earlier. But it never happened.

 

Outside, rain poured down on the streets of Azumano. A roll of thunder sounded in the distance and Daisuke looked out of it, a sad look in his eyes. Dark was no longer around to talk to him, help him, advise him. What do I do? There was no one left to go to. A car crash had killed his parents two years after graduation and Daikii had passed on. Wiz had disappeared as well. Daisuke was alone.

 

The door crashed open. The redhead stood up and quickly went for it, hoping that Satoshi's drunken state would soon leave him senseless. What met his eyes was far from what he hoped. Satoshi stood in the doorway, eyes blazing. Daisuke had never seen this much emotion from him as the day Krad had taken over. His mind numbed with shock, he never saw it coming. A searing pain, and he hit the floor. “Wha..?”

 

Satoshi didn't reply, just kept hitting. Daisuke forced himself to roll over so that he wouldn't get injured and tried to stop the angry detective's blows. “Please stop, Satoshi! Please!”

 

The blue-eyed man didn't stop. He continued to lash out, each blow meeting its mark as the redhead screamed. No one heard the noise. What…Satoshi…pain…Daisuke slowly felt himself sink into unconsciousness for the first time in his life.

 

Next morning:

 

Daisuke opened his eyes, ruby red faintly glowing in the dimly lit room. His body, arm and face especially, ached. What happened…? Then he remembered. Eyes widened in horror as he registered Satoshi's presence in the bathroom doorway. He was still on the floor, he noticed, and Satoshi was coming over. He hoped that the alcohol had worn off.

 

Satoshi stared down at Daisuke lying prone on the floor. Icy blue met sorrowful red. Then the ice melted and Satoshi sank to his knees, next to Daisuke. “What did I do?” He whispered. His fingers traced over the bruises. “Who did this?”

 

With a sinking feeling in his heart, Daisuke slowly asked, “You don't remember?” Satoshi stared at the bruises for a moment, blue eyes narrowing. Then…they widened in even more horror than previously. Scenes flashed through the bluenette's head as memories of the previous night came back. “I'm sorry,” he whispered, “I'm so sorry.” Daisuke sighed. He was tired of it all-the apologies, the yells, the loneliness.

 

“Every time it happens, you say that. Every time. You promise me time and time again that you'll never drink again, but you're not stopping. You come home at God knows what time, you yell at me when I ask you simple questions. What happened, Satoshi? What happened?”

 

Maybe I'm just too demanding,

Maybe I'm just like my father too bold.

Maybe I'm just like my mother

She's never satisfied.

 

Satoshi could only listen numbly, his body in shock. “I don't know…” he said, more to himself than Daisuke. Truth be told, he was tired. He was restless. The life that he had led with Kaitou Dark and Krad Hikari around had not prepared him for a life of peace. He didn't know what happened. Then someone had introduced him to alcohol. It had been all right at first. Then he'd started craving more of it when he discovered the pleasantly numbed feeling that it gave him. For a while, he could escape the dullness of life.

 

“You don't know.” Repeated Daisuke tiredly. He was still on the floor. Satoshi felt tears prick his eyes. I'm so sorry, so sorry…so sorry.

 

Daisuke sighed. Then he looked at his lover's face and his anger melted away. “Look, let's try and make this better. Let's try and make things better from now on, okay?”

 

Satoshi nodded almost eagerly, willing to try anything that made Daisuke happy. He wanted to see a smile on his redhead's face again. He wanted to make him laugh. The redhead looked at him, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “Help me off the ground again then, will you please? It's not very comfortable here.” Satoshi felt his lips quirk upwards and with no warning, he swept the other man up in his arms. “Ah!” Daisuke felt himself begin to laugh as he say some of the old joy and life return into Satoshi's eyes. The blue haired man carried him to the sofa and gently set him down there.

 

“Wait here, Daisuke. I'll be back with the bandages and stuff,” Satoshi told his lover sternly. “And don't try to move.”

 

Daisuke giggled. It had been a long time since he'd felt this happy with Satoshi around. Outside, the sun shone feebly, trying to outdo the clouds. It didn't succeed.

 

For a while, things got better for the couple. Satoshi was trying to be more relaxed now, trying to avoid alcohol. The pair would often go out to the park, or to a café in the mall. Daisuke hoped that they would continue to improve. Throughout the week, Satoshi would make it a point to call Daisuke at his job at least once a day, if not more. Of course, Daisuke did the same. They had to be very careful though; once Daisuke had said `I love you sweetie' jokingly, and Satoshi had been forced to tell him that he was on speakerphone. Needless to say, Daisuke now started most (actually, all) of his calls with, “Am I on speakerphone?” However, two weeks after, things went downhill again.

 

Satoshi had been having an extremely bad day. First of all, he'd been flirted with more than four times with the secretary Anna. He'd told her that he wasn't interested and she had responded by telling the whole staff that their `oh-so-high-and-mighty Commander' was gay. There were a few homophobes in the office and they had stormed into his office in the middle of a very important meeting, demanding that he be fired. He'd had to forcibly remove them all from the office and the Board wasn't impressed. Next, he'd spilled coffee down the front of his white shirt right before another important lunch meeting and had had to sit in front of his bosses with a stained shirt. Then Anna had asked him to help her with a problem on the computer. Satoshi had walked into her office and suddenly found himself pinned to the wall by a very…amorous…blonde. After escaping (but not before being caught by Sam in a very compromising position), he'd finally gotten something done and at the end of the day, he realised that he still hadn't called Daisuke. He felt a tug from his body, telling him to go get just one little shot. Just one shot wouldn't do any harm, would it? He exited the office and headed straight for the bar, determined to have just one drink. It couldn't hurt, could it? Phone call completely forgotten, the blue-eyed boy headed out to the pub that he had once frequented.

 

Daisuke eyed the phone as he packed up his things and put on his coat. Part of him hoped that Satoshi would suddenly call at the last minute and then apologise profusely before Daisuke cut him off with a laugh. It didn't happen though and the redhead was left to return home without any inner warmth.

 

Daisuke returned home to find the house empty. I hope he's just working late, the boy thought worriedly. Although it doesn't seem like him to forget to tell me that he's coming home late. This time, anyway. Two hours later, Daisuke looked at the clock and frowned slightly. It was 11 and Satoshi still wasn't home. I hope he hasn't gone drinking again, he thought worriedly.

 

Daisuke shot a worried glance up at the clock and then at the door for the nth time, but was not greeted by his lover. Instead, only silence remained there to surround him. At 1am, just when he was about to give up and go to bed, the door crashed open again. The whole scene was eerily reminiscent of the other night-Daisuke standing at the door in shock, Satoshi standing at the doorway reeking of strong spirits and darkness outside. “Satoshi!” Daisuke cried, not sure whether he was relieved or angry.

 

Instead of his usual grunt (which happened if he was drunk), Satoshi approached Daisuke menacingly. “Angry?” he slurred. “How unlike you.” Daisuke's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. “”No?” the azure haired boy asked almost mockingly. The alcohol was strong on his breath and he was standing close enough to Daisuke for the redhead to smell it. Daisuke was scared, but angry and hurt at the same time.

 

“Why did you do this?” he whispered quietly (although loudly enough for the detective to hear). “Why did you go back to before?”

 

Satoshi glared at him through bleary, wine-reddened eyes. “You know what?” the man screamed. “You know what? You make me sick! Sick of your attitude, your constant attempts to mother me, you're forever following me around! You think I can't take care of myself? Do you?” At these last words, he grabbed Daisuke's shoulders and shook the poor redhead hard.

 

Daisuke shut his eyes, praying for the moment to stop, praying that it was all just a dream, praying that he would jolt awake and realise that he was lying in bed with Satoshi hugging him. To his horror, the nightmare had only just begun. Satoshi smashed his fist into his cheek and Daisuke was left on the floor, staring up at his onetime lover in horror. A tiny spark of anger slowly channelled itself into a bright flame and began to burn. Satoshi's fist descended again, but this time Daisuke was ready for the blow. The ex-thief rolled out of harm's way and made a fast dash for the door. Unfortunately, he was blocked by Satoshi.

 

“Stop it!” Daisuke screamed desperately. At that moment, he wished that Dark was still in him. Come on. You have to protect yourself. Daisuke blocked another of Satoshi's blows. “Stop it Satoshi! Just…just stop it!”

 

The blue-eyed boy eyed him. For someone who's meant to be drunk, he's fricking fast, the redhead thought. “All right,” Satoshi said, holding up both hands. His eyes still glinted mockingly in the garish lamplight, though. “All right. Let's…talk.” Daisuke tried his best not to scream and stared at Satoshi, determined to look brave.

 

Within the blink of an eye, Satoshi was directly in front of his husband and he seemed to grow taller and more threatening. Daisuke prayed that tonight would not come to any more blows.

 

“Satoshi, I think you should-“ Daisuke was cut off by the detective's angry outburst.

 

“You think? Think what? All my life people have been telling me what to do with my life! I'm sick of it!” He would have continued, had Daisuke not cut him off.

 

“Satoshi, I'm not trying to boss you around, I'm just—“

 

“Just what? You really couldn't care less, could you? You'd probably have dumped me if I lost my job, if I hadn't had the looks that—“

 

Daisuke was horrified and shocked at the same time. “Satoshi, you know I love you!”

 

“Do you, Dai-chan? Do you?” The blue-eyed boy paced forward, looking incredibly sober for someone who had been swaying on their feet only a few moments ago.

 

Daisuke nodded hard. “Hn.” A smirk twisted Satoshi's lips and his face became almost cruel. “So…could I do this…?” Daisuke could barely register the words before he found himself pinned to the couch painfully. What…? He felt hot lips descend upon his roughly, a tongue forcing its way into his mouth. And then…darkness.

 

Two days later:

 

Daisuke sat on the bed, staring at nothing. Satoshi was out again. It was late evening. The doorbell suddenly rang and the crimson haired boy got up and painfully shuffled over to the door, praying that it wasn't Satoshi. The blue-eyed boy had been apologetic and shown all the `normal emotions' i.e. sadness etc. He'd apologised over and over again, but it wasn't enough to convince Daisuke. And here I was, thinking that you could never be raped by your own husband.

 

He opened the door to see Kenji, one of his colleagues. The man looked at him worriedly, soft brown eyes crinkling. “Daisuke, what happened? Are you all right? You haven't been to work for two days!”

 

Dully, Daisuke remembered the events of the past two days. He hadn't done much, just wandered around the house in a sort of half-daze. Whenever Satoshi had come home, the detective cooked dinner for both of them and they just sat there on the couch. Satoshi had been desperate to make amends; he'd cooked all of Daisuke's favourite dishes, come home extra early just to be with him and completely given up drinking.

 

Kenji looked worriedly at his friend. The other man seemed to be off in a world of his own. “Look,” Kenji said, finally trying to make an effort to help. “You look like you haven't eaten or slept for days. I'll just give this to you, okay?” He held out the box of homemade food, prepared by his wife. After she had heard that Daisuke wasn't well, she'd insisted on his bringing food to the redhead's house.

 

Daisuke blinked and then looked at his friend. “Sorry,” he said hastily, “I was…thinking. Come in!”

 

Kenji raised an eyebrow but said nothing. It wasn't like Daisuke to just zone out for no reason at all. He stepped into the house and looked around for a place to put the food. Daisuke quickly took the box from his hands and placed it on the large wooden dining table. This was done in complete, awkward silence. Finally, Kenji could take things no more. “Daisuke? Are you okay?”

 

A pause. Then whispered, so softly that he could barely hear, “No.”

 

Kenji frowned slightly. “What's the matter?”

 

Daisuke stared at him, ruby eyes glazed with the pain of remembering something that he didn't want to remember. Kenji sensed this and moved closer, unsure of how to comfort his friend. He didn't want to hug the guy or anything, the gesture might have been perceived as `queer'. Swallowing, he decided to change the subject. “I'll go heat the food up, all right? Then you can sit down and eat, and we'll talk or whatever, okay?” At Daisuke's dazed nod, he quickly grabbed the box of food off the table and headed for the kitchen. He quickly located the microwave and almost a minute later, Daisuke found himself seated at the table with a plate of steaming hot fish in front of him.

 

Kenji watched his friend as he picked at the wholesome meal. Daisuke slowly lifted a forkful of fish to his lips. As soon as he took the first bite, he realised just how truly hungry he was. Ten minutes later, Daisuke stared at the white plate in front of him longingly, wishing that he could have some more. Despite the fact that Satoshi had cooked all of his favourite meals, he'd only picked at them.

 

Kenji stared in horror as the fish disappeared before his very eyes. Daisuke ate like a man who had been starved for a year! Sympathy clouded chocolate eyes as he watched the redhead. “Would you like some more?”

 

Daisuke looked shyly up at Kenji and nodded, blushing. He didn't, after all, want the other man to think that he was a pig. Kenji smiled. “It's all right. Hold on, okay?”

 

Two plates of food later, Daisuke felt full and contented. He looked at Kenji and tried to thank the other man for his kindness. Kenji smiled and then the expression on his face turned worried again as he noticed Daisuke swaying slightly. He supported the other man to the sofa and they sat there together, just enjoying each other's company and thinking.

 

This time, Daisuke was the first to break the silence. “He raped me.”

 

Kenji was shocked. “Who? What?” Daisuke sniffled and buried his face in the other man's shirt, allowing himself to cry on someone else's shoulder for the first time in many, many years.

 

“He raped me,” sobbed the redhead. “Satoshi. He came home drunk, and he was angry when I asked him to s-stop, and he hit me, and then…” Overcome by emotion, the redhead continued to cry.

 

Kenji was horrified and on instinct hugged the other man protectively. “He won't do it again,” he whispered. “Shh, it's all right Daisuke, it's all right…”

 

Daisuke sobbed harder. “He says he's sorry, but that's what he always says, and he always promises to stop but never does, and…”

 

Kenji cut him off, gently hugging him. “It's all right Daisuke, just relax. It's all right…”

 

The door opened and both men turned to see who it was. Satoshi stood in the doorway, blue eyes ablaze when he saw the position that the pair were in on the couch. It wasn't particularly compromising, but Satoshi was a jealous man. “What are you doing?”

 

Kenji stood up immediately, determined to protect his friend from any more harm. “Are you the one who raped him?” he asked.

 

Satoshi glared. “You have no right to ask me that, not when you're a trespasser in my home!”

 

Brown met aqua, but this was not an argument that Kenji could win. “Fine,” he coldly replied. “You did, didn't you? Don't deny it, Daisuke told me.”

 

Satoshi glared even harder. “If you don't get out now, I'm going to arrest you,” he said flatly. Kenji nodded.

 

“Fine. Then I'll tell them just what you've been up to in the past two days.” With those final words, Kenji stormed out of the apartment. As soon as he was outside, he fervently prayed that Daisuke would not suffer anymore.

 

Satoshi turned away from the door and looked at Daisuke's face. He slumped visibly; then looked at his lover. “Why?” he whispered. “I've said I was sorry; what more do you want?”

 

Daisuke looked at the whole house, then directly at his husband. “I…” Satoshi looked at him, waiting for an answer. “I…can't take it any more.”

 

Satoshi's mood changed. What he had just seen, coupled with this sudden announcement, shook him and rage took over. “What, you have a new boyfriend?”

 

Daisuke glared. “No, I haven't! I'm just tired of everything; the beatings, the drinking, the apologies! You always say you'll quit, but you never do! You're always blowing up at me, and it's not easy to handle!” At Satoshi hurt look, his eyes softened slightly. “Maybe…” Daisuke added softly, “maybe it's best if we just spend a little time apart.”

 

Satoshi glared again, this time really angry. “Why?” he growled, “has your little bitch told you all sorts of fairytales about a romantic life with him? He's not worth anything, anyway.”

 

Daisuke's eyes flashed. “Don't say that! He's my friend, not my bitch!” he screamed. Kenji was his closest friend, apart from Takeshi (who had moved to New York after getting a big assignment there).

 

“Oh yeah?” Satoshi sneered. “Then why were the pair of you cuddling? Were you getting ready for the big thing, mm?”

 

“For your information, he tried to comfort me! You don't do anything, you just say sorry and expect me to be all happy again!”

 

Why do we scream at each other?

 

The argument raged on, both men now trying to outdo the other. Their relationship had been officially broken; the ties that had once held them together were much weakened, if at all present. Finally, Daisuke lost it. “I'm leaving,” he snapped angrily. Fifteen minutes later, he stormed out of the house and headed for a nearby hotel.

 

Satoshi looked at the door, blue eyes horrified as the full ramifications of what he had done crashed into him. For a moment, Krad seemed to return, his cool voice taunting as ever. ((He'll never love you…)) With a howl of pain and misery, Satoshi sank to the floor and cried.

 

This is what it sounds like

When doves cry.

 

Sorry for the angst people, I guess that it just balanced out all the fluff that I've been turning out lately. I'm sorry. I'll go and work on my crossover now then…*creeps away silently*

 

Inkblotquill