Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Contradictions ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: dream-chan 
Did Daisuke and Takeru become closer only to be separated...forever?
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 10.11.2001 | Pages: 7 | Words: 6.4K | Visits: 368 | Status: Completed
Did Daisuke and Takeru become closer only to be separated...forever?
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Revenge Fic | Uploaded On: 10.11.2001 | Pages: 7 | Words: 6.4K | Visits: 368 | Status: Completed
Author's Notes:
Author's Notes:
Yep, I'm back with another chapter of Contradictions. First, I have to thank everyone for their kind words and reviews. I really appreciate them.
CSMars, I'll try to give u more taito fluff, so don't worry, k?
Rae, I must say that your new taisuke fic is fabulous!
Second, I have to give props to the fabulous (now online buddy) anna-chan. She has truly helped me out when I thought this fic was on it's way down the drain! ^_^ I would also like to make an announcement. This will be the last chapter that I am posting on Fanfiction.net. The reason being is that I just don't get enough feedback for this story on here. So, I thought to myself, what is the point of posting, if no one is going to read it. However if this does effect you, please let me know!
I've also noticed that I used some Japanese in here that may not be common knowledge to everyone, so here is a little guide for ya...
kawaii=cute
chikosume=son of a b&*@%
sayonara=goodbye
Disclaimer: This time we have everyone's favorite bishie (well one of *mine* anyway), Yamato to do the disclaimer.
Yamato: You *do* know that I am to cool to do this, right?
Dream-chan: I know, I know, b-b-but you promised! ::Starts to use the puppy eyes Dai taught her::
Yamato: Okayokay! Just cut it out with the eye thing! Where did you learn how to do that anyway? Wait, let me guessDaisuke?
Dream-chan: ::grins:: Yep! Thanx Yama!
Yamato: Dream-chan has not, does not, and will never own Digimon. Now, if you'll *excuse* me, I have to kill a certain maroon-haired goggle head. ::storms off looking for Daisuke::
Dream-chan: ::yells after Yama:: Hey, don't hurt him *too* bad or else Takeru won't be too happy!
By the way, I know that the characters are going to be a bit OOC, but I figured since it's fanfiction, I can make them act any way I want soHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
***POV***
~thoughts~
"dialogue"
Well, with all that said and done...enjoy the fic! ^_^
Title: Contradictions-Chapter 5
Author: dream-chan
Email: dream_chan@hotmail.com
Editor: anna-chan
Rating: R (language and limish content)
***Ken***
Everythi ng that I have ever wanted and more is in my arms right now. I am kissing my best friend and soulmate.
This is the stuff that dreams are made of.
See, I knew that it was only a matter of time before anything happened. This is just the way it's supposed to be.
Daisuke is *mine*!
"Ken! What are you *doing*?" Daisuke exclaimed as he pulled away, holding me at arms length. I could see the confusion reflected in his face as he tried to comprehend what had just happened between us.
Playing the role I knew so well, I dropped my head so that my hair would shield my face, giving me the appearance of pure embarrassment and innocence. "I-I'm sorry Daisuke-kun. I didn't mean...it's just that I am so l-lo-lonely," I stuttered, embellishing for my little 'performance'.
"Hey, c'mon, enough of that. What are you talking about? You still have me, you know that," he said gently, pushing some stray hairs from my face. Damn, I love this feeling.
"Yeah, but with you and Takeru being together, I feel like an intruder...like I don't belong," I said, hoping that there was enough sincerity in my voice so he wouldn't see through the lie I just told him.
"Aww Ken...we never meant for that to happen. Why didn't you say anything
sooner?"
"I just didn't know how to approach you, and then I was so down I figured that there wasn't a point."
"Listen Ken and you listen good. If there is something bothering you, come to me. You can tell me anything, alright? I'll *always* be here for you and I know that you would do the same thing for me. Now c'mon and wipe those tears. We wouldn't want those pretty eyes to get all red and puffy now, would we? What would Miya-chan think then?" he teased trying to get me to laugh.
~Yeah, like I care about what *Miyako* or any of the others think. Only you, my Suke-chan.~
Giving Daisuke the expected reaction, I wiped the tears from my eyes and pasted a shaky smile on my face.
"Thank you. Sorry for being such a nutcase." I said with a small grin, knowing that he had believed everything that I just told him...just like I knew he would.
Giving me a reassuring hug, he said, "Don't worry. All of us nutcases have to stick together. Now I have to go and meet Takeru. Are you going to be alright?" he asked, already climbing down the ladder from my bed.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks again Dais." I said calmly, while inwardly wincing at my rival's name.
"Hey, what are friends for?" he replied happily, feeling good now that everything was worked out between us. With one last wave, he opened the door and left.
Hearing my bedroom door shut, I climbed down the ladder and went over to the bookcase. Grabbing a stool I reached up, and pushing some books to the side grabbed the small disc recorder I had playing.
Pressing the stop button, I stepped down and hugged the little machine to my chest. Ejecting the disc, I held it between my fingers and just looked at it.
My little insurance policy.
***Takeru***
Looking over at Daisuke, I wondered for the hundredth time what could be bothering him. All day, he has been spacing out and there were times when I had to wave my hands in his face just to get his attention. At first, I was a bit annoyed that he was ignoring me, but when he kept tuning me out, I became concerned. For Daisuke to be quiet just didn't make sense. It was like saying he gave up soccer...never gonna happen.
With an idea in mind, I steered him towards my apartment. I figured that would be a good place to talk since my mom was out of town on an overnight assignment. It would be perfect for a private conversation.
In less then fifteen minutes, we were in my apartment. After taking off coat and shoes, I led us over to the couch which had been a witness to many heart to heart talks. We both sat down and I pulled him close, silently telling him that I was here when he was ready. However, after about ten minutes of nothing I just couldn't take the silence anymore.
Turning so that I was facing him, I grabbed his hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze.
"*Please* Dai...tell me what's wrong.
All of the sudden, he blinked and looked around, looking a bit startled that we had ended up here. Then, without preamble, he stared straight into my eyes and said, "Ken kissed me."
It was a good thing that I was sitting down, because I think my knees would have given out on me if I had been standing. I felt like one of those anime characters that had just been hit with a giant mallet. Pulling away from him, I stood up and started pacing...a clear indicator that I was worried, tense, or upset. In this case, all three.
Daisuke recognized these signs as well and quickly jumped in with an explanation. "I know this sounds really lame, but nothing happened, I swear. How about I give you some background and you decide for yourself?" he said, pleading that I would listen to what he had to say.
Knowing that I was asking for it, I told him, "Tell me everything that happened."
So, he told me how Ken had called him last night to ask if he would come over, and since Daisuke had been worried like the rest of us about Ken's behavior recently, he was glad that Ken was finally ready to tell him what the deal was. When he confronted Ken, he was shocked to find him crying, so Dai-chan just hugged him, trying to console our friend in the best way he knew how. Then, just when he thought he was ready to talk, Ken was kissing him.
At this point, I was livid. I wanted to lash out at Ken, but at the same time, I just couldn't. It wasn't his fault that he fell in love with Daisuke, just like it wasn't mine. The only thing that I could do was trust that Daisuke would let Ken know where the boundaries in their relationship were. Even though I loved Dai to the depth of my being, I refused to act like a jealous idiot. That would only make things worse. Besides, if we were going to have a long distance relationship, I had to trust him.
Turning back around, I could see the tension radiating off Dai. I guess my quietness was unnerving him a bit. Sighing, I walked back to the couch and sat down.
"Daisuke, I'm not going to say I'm not upset, but I want you to know that I love you and I appreciate it that you didn't try to hide this from me. I love you Dai-chan...always."
"Oh *thank* you, Take-chan! Koi, I love you so much," he whispered, gathering me into a heartwarming embrace.
For minutes, we just sat there holding each other, feeling relieved that we had overcome our first obstacle together. However, I couldn't help to have a nagging suspicion...a suspicion that Ken was trying to take Dai-chan away from me.
The question was, would he succeed?
Shoving that to the back of my mind, I concentrated on what mattered most at the moment.
Putting both hands on the side of his face, I surged forward, giving Daisuke a kiss that conveyed all the love and desire I held for him. Within moments, I felt tan arms wrap around my waist, pulling me even closer.
After a few minutes, we broke apart panting as we tried to get air into our oxygen-deprived lungs. As I looked over at Dai, all I saw was this bemused expression that made him look so kawaii.
We continued to make-out until something between us seemed to change. I don't know why, but it did. I guess Dai felt it too, because when he pulled away I could see the fear and hesitation lurking in those chocolate depths.
"What is it, Dai-chan? C'mon, you can tell me." I urged, bringing my lips to touch his.
He bit his lip as he looked up at me and asked in a quiet voice, "Takeru, are you happy with me?"
I stared at him in shock. Why would he think I was unhappy with him? "Dai, where is this coming from? Of *course* I'm happy with you!"
To put any and all doubts to rest, I kissed him again, pouring my heart and soul into that kiss. As Daisuke began to respond, I could feel my passion and desire for him spike even higher than before. Taking things a bit further, I moved my lips to his neck, leaving a trail of kisses from his ear down to where I could feel his pulse racing in his throat, it's echo beating in my own.
"Take-chan, are...are you sure about this? We can stop now if you want to..." he groaned, placing a hand on my cheek in a gesture of understanding.
Turning into the embrace, I closed my eyes, relishing in the sensation of the contact. At that moment, I knew that what we were about to do was right.
"No, I don't want to stop. What I want right now, is *you*. Please Dai-chanlove me.", was all I said, before I claimed his mouth once more, glorying in the feeling.
By his hesitation I thought he was going to refuse, until I felt his lips descend upon mine, the urgent pressure making my head swim. Soon, I felt myself being lifted and carried and the next thing I knew we were in my bedroom, a tangle of arms and legs on the bed. There was a sort of desperation in our movements as we kissed and touched each other. Clothes were thrown off and discarded hastily in our hurry to feel skin on skin. Changing the pace, we took our time, exploring each other bodies, exciting with each moan or gasp that escaped our lips. It seemed that our hands knew instinctively where to go and what to do. The contrast of milky white and tan skin filled me a sense of rightness, as if that is how it should always be.
With one final kiss, I was his. He was mine. We became one.
The next morning, I realized waking up next to Daisuke was one of the most life-changing events in my life. I know that what we did last night changed everything, but I wanted to let him know that no matter where I go or how far apart we may be, I would *always* belong to him, just like he would belong to me.
I know that some people will think that we moved too fast for this, but when you only uhave a month, sometimes you have to speed things up a little. Besides, we had been in love with each other for so long, we both felt that we were ready to express our love to each other on the highest level that there was.
I have to admit, with us both being inexperienced, there was some pain, but the pleasure and ecstasy that followed *more* than made up for those moments of discomfort.
However, the best part was afterwards when we just held each other, murmuring our love until sleep claimed us.
Geez, I'm mushy, aren't I? But that night was incredible and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Cuddling closer to the snoring boy beside me, I drifted back to sleep and dreamt of the day when we would never have to leave each other again.
***Ken***
I can't believe that I am doing this to myself. As I sit here on the slightly lumpy couch in the Motomiya's living room, amid all the good cheer, I come to the realization that I must be a masochist.
Why, you ask?
Because only a masochist would sit here complacently and watch the love of his life cuddle and make-out with their boyfriend. And to make it worse, it seems that they have moved further in their relationship than I suspected, if the closeness between the two is any indication.
Just another reason to kill Takaishi.
I mean, you think that a genius like me would have tried to come up with a watertight excuse to miss this little function, but I forgot that Daisuke was a master at persuasion.
Damn his puppy eyes. Damn me for falling for it.
Then again, it's a going away party for the dumb blonde, but I can think of it as more of a celebration.
~Sayonara pretty boy! Good riddance.~
I was startled out of my thoughts, by someone tapping me on my shoulder.
Turning around with a ready smile on my face, it dimmed slightly when I recognized who interrupted me.
Takeru. Stupid chikosume.
So, he finally decided to confront me. I was beginning to wonder what was taking the idiot so long. Feeling more alert, I turned around to face him.
"Hello Takaishi-san, are you ready for you trip?" I asked politely, my voice just *dripping* with fake cheerfulness.
"Yes, thank you for asking", he answered in the same saccharine-laced tone I had given him.
Not really one to beat around the bush, I went straight to the heart of the matter. "So, is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"
"Yes actually, there is. How about we take this out to the balcony?"
"That will be fine."
Getting up we discreetly made our way to the balcony doors. Opening them, I allowed Takeru to go before me as I followed him outside. Closing the doors with a subtle click, I walked over to where Takeru was standing by the railing.
Hmm, it would be so easy just to...
~Bad thoughts, Ken. Bad thoughts~
"So, what's the problem?" I ask, knowing full well that it was me.
Instantly I was face to face with the Takeru I remember from my Emperor days. The one that had dared to hit me. At that moment I knew one thing.
Playtime was over.
"Look Ichijouji-san, I just wanted to let you know that I am on to your little game and I don't appreciate it," he snapped out, eyes blazing with an inner fire.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I replied nonchalantly, wanting to irk him even more.
"Cut the bullshit! Daisuke told me about how you kissed him and gave him this sob story about us abandoning you!" he accused, his upper lip curling slightly.
"Just like *you're* abandoning him?" I replied silkily, seeing by his reaction that I hit a sore spot.
"What are you talking about?" he muttered, indignation shadowing his features.
"Hmm, let me see. Let's start with how you avoided him steadily for weeks before you declared your so-called 'love' for him. Even now, you are leaving him to go halfway around the world. What does that say about *you*?"
"I don't have to hear this shit! I just came out here to tell you one thing and one thing only. BACK OFF!" he said forcefully, poking me in the chest.
Looking at the offending finger with distaste, I removed it as if it was covered in sludge and gave him a look that would have made the others think that the Kaiser just made a comeback. "Is *that* so? Well who's gonna make me?"
Just to see his fists ball up and his face turn red made me want to giggle like mad, but I wanted to leave my rival some dignity. That's the least that I could do.
"Ichijouji, I *refuse* to play this game with you. You can fuck off for all I care, but since you are Dai-chan's friend I will *try* to put up with you, but that is the only reason. But if you hurt Dai in *any* way with your little games I will *personally* take pleasure in kicking your ass all over again."
With that, he walked back inside, letting the warmth and laughter from inside the apartment escape into the chilly night air.
Turning, I looked out towards the nighttime sky, and taking in a refreshing breath I've decided that it is time up the stakes. I didn't want to do it, but he left me no choice.
As I walked back inside, I see the 'happy' couple and it is all that I can do not to go over and physically remove that blond bimbo from what is mine, but I just put a smile on my face knowing that soon, I wouldn't have to do anything.
Takeru would do my dirty work for me, and I would be there to pick up the pieces for my Suke-chan.
Patience is a virtue.
***Takeru***
As I was sitting down to breakfast, I couldn't believe that the next day I was flying to the States. I mean, I knew that it was coming but it seemed that time had decided to move at warp speed, and it took me a minute to actually believe that I was leaving in a few days. The party that the Digidestined gave me was wonderful. Having all my friends there to wish me luck meant the world to me. Even though it was marred by that little run-in with Ken, I still had a great time. They even gave me this journal where each of them had written a message to me, but I figured that I would save it to read on the plane trip.
One year away from home...away from the others...without my Dai-chan. But I was not going to think about that today. Today was one for making lasting memories...memories that would have to sustain me until I came back from the States. Today, it would be only me and Daisuke. I couldn't wait, hoping we could have a replay of what happened a week ago.
~Whew.....what a memory!~ my face blushing at the visions running across my mind.
Since my mom had gone into work for a half-day I just made myself a small bowl of cereal. As I was washing up the bowl I heard a small knock on the door. I placed the bowl in the drying rack and walked out into the hall to open the door. Seeing no one I became a little confused, thinking that maybe I was just hearing things, until I looked down and saw a large envelope with my name on it. Curious, I picked it up and closed the door while I looked at it trying to find anything familiar, but couldn't.
Not being able to stand it any longer, I ripped it open, watching as pictures spilled out and a letter fluttered to my feet. Bending down, I gathered everything into my hands and walked over to the couch.
Takaishi-san,
I'm sorry to do this, but I think that this is better for everyone. I know that you think that you and Daisuke are meant to be, but don't you see what you are *doing* to him? The only reason that he tells you he loves you is because he does...as a *friend*. You know that, I know that. Hopefully these pictures will help you to see the truth. If you truly love him, you will let him go to be happy with the one he *really* loves. I'm sorry to do this, but it's gone on long enough. Please understand.
Letting the letter drop, I picked up one of the pictures and what I saw ripped my heart out.
Ken and Daisuke kissing...looking as if they never wanted the moment to end.
Looking at the state of bliss on Dai's face, I knew that Ken was telling the truth. I was such a fool.
This was not supposed to happen...not to us.
~No, no, no! Why, Daisuke, why? How could you do this? I thought you loved me~
As the saying goes...if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Looking at these pictures, I finally accept that Daisuke was never really mine. Seeing the expressions on each of their faces hurt me so much. As I re-read the letter again, all I could concentrate on was one phrase.
If you truly love him, you will let him go.
Let him go...Let him go...Let him go...Let him go...
Letting out a vicious growl I grabbed the pictures and ripped them to shreds, not wanting a visual reminder of the lie that I had been living for the past month. At that point, I wanted nothing more than to break anything that I could get my hands on.
Hearing a knock at the door I calmed myself down and went to answer it, already knowing who waited on the other side. Better get this over with now.
"Hey," was all he said before he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me. It took everything I had not to respond and to relax into his embrace.
"What's wrong?" he asked with confusion and hurt in his voice.
"We need to talk. Please sit down." I say simply, feeling the rage inside about to surface.
Slowly, the smile dropped from his face, already sensing that something was terribly wrong.
"I think I'd prefer to stand. Now tell me what is wrong with you." he pleads.
"Fine, have it your way. I don't really know how to say this, but I think it would be better if we just end this now..." I said firmly, feeling my heart start to break all over again.
"End!?!? What are you *talking* about Take-chan?" he yelled, disbelief evident on his face.
"Please don't call me that," was all I could say, trying not to look at his face. I couldn't stand to see the pained look in his eyes.
Taking a few steps towards me, he held out his hands in supplicate gesture. "Take-chTakeru-kun, what is going on? What's *wrong* with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me! Kami-sama! Why must you be so thick-headed!?!?" I shouted, allowing some of the anger I was feeling to filter into my voice.
"I-I don't understand," he stuttered, clearly taken aback by my sudden mood swing.
Steeling my nerves, I looked him dead in the eyes and said in the coldest voice
I could muster, "Let me make it plain and simple. I think that it would be a good idea if we weren't together anymore."
I think if I had stabbed him in the heart, it would have hurt less, but I had to do this. I couldn't let him be with me out of some sort of twisted form of loyalty. I had to finish this.
"I've finally realized that the feelings that I have for you isn't love. It never was. I'm sorry."
"How...how can you *say* that? Why are you *doing* this, Take-chan?" he said, looking like I had just told him that Chibimon died.
I just ignored his questions and continued as if I never heard him. "It was just a crush with intense fascination. I just made the mistake of thinking it was love."
All he did was stand there, not saying a word. I would have figured that he would be screaming and calling all sorts of unmentionable names. I would have actually *preferred* that to this charged silence between us. Not being able to take it anymore, I threw out the opening gambit.
Walking towards him, I continued to speak, each and every word killing me inside. "Look, it's not fair to either of us to continue this. I care for you, but I don't love you. I'm sorry. I just think that this is better for the both of us. Please understand..."
"Oh I understand alright! You are still upset with me for what happened between Ken and I, aren't you! I told you it meant *nothing*. *Absolutely* nothing! Why can't you believe that?" he asked angrily, striving hard to keep control.
Becoming a little angry myself at his denial, I interrupted, "Daisuke, pleaseyou are just making this harder for us."
"You think I give a *shit* about *hard* it is!!! Do you *understand* what you are *doing* to me?"
"DaisukeDai-chan" I stuttered, my heart weeping at the hurt and anger in his voice.
"NO! Don't *ever* call me that again! You just lost the privilege! FUCK YOU! You can go to HELL FOR ALL I CARE, TAKAISHI TAKERU! You may have broken my *heart*, but I will *not* let you break *me*!"
"Look! You can swear at me all you want to, but that is not going to change things. Can't you see that I am doing what is best for everyone?"
"SHUT *UP*!" he shouted savagely. "You know, I was a real fool to believe that you would *ever* be happy with someone like me, huh?"
"Daisuke, please don't say things like that. That is not true and you know it." I placated, each word cutting me down to the bone.
"What else am I supposed to think!? Especially after what happened between us. I thought that it was something *special* Takeru, and now you're trying to tell me that you no longer feel anything for me. So, what was it, Takeru? Was I just an experiment that didn't turn out the way you wanted? Are you going to run to your precious Hikari-chan now that the trial period is up? HUH? Answer me!"
"Daisuke...*please* understand," I tried for one final time, knowing that this was probably the last time I would see him. Even though I could no longer call him mine, I still wanted to have some sort of relationship with himanything other than this blazing anger.
"There is nothing *to* understand. You made it perfectly that you don't want to be with me. So, I'll let you go, but *don't* expect me to be there to wish you a good trip," he said, his tone dangerously low. With that said he turned around and walked out of my apartment.
Walked out of my life...forever.
After the door slammed closed, I could do nothing but slide down the wall and allow the tears to flow as I cried my heart out. I had just lost the most precious thing in the world to me.
I don't know how long I sat there staring into nothingness, when the door suddenly opened, revealing my brother and his boyfriend laughing about something or another.
Seeing the smiles on their faces triggered a wave of jealousy to wash over me. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Before my brother even had a chance to ask me what was wrong I ran to my room and slammed the door, sobbing into my pillow for all its worth.
I wasn't surprised when I found my 'niichan pulling me into his arms a few seconds later. Without asking any questions, he just gave me comfort the only way he knew how. The way he rocked me back in forth reminded me of when we were younger. Whenever our parents would fight I would get so frightened, but I knew that Yamato would make it all better. He just hugged me and calmed me down, letting me cry my tears out.
Not being afraid to let my guard down in front of Yama-niichan, I just cried and let out all the betrayal, anger, and sadness that had bottled up inside of me. To experience your dream and then have it ripped away from you is *so* much worse than not having had it at all.
I loved him *so* much. Truth be told, I still do.
~Dai...I miss you already!~
When I woke up it was to my soft bed and a pair of concerned amber eyes.
Hikari. Always kind and caring, and always there when you need a friend.
"I'm not going to force you talk about what happened, but I just want to let you know that I'm here for you."
"Thank you."
"There's no need, Takeru. I'll *always* be here when you need me!"
What did I tell you?
Hearing voices outside my room, I asked her who else was in the apartment.
"Oh, it's just Yamato and Taichi. Don't worry, I promise that they won't badger you. I'll make sure of it."
"How?"
"Don't you worry about that. For now, just go back to sleep. You might feel a little better if you get some more rest," she said gently, giving me a quick peck on my cheek and even tucking me in. Hikari-chan will make a great mother some day.
Taking her advice I snuggled down into my blankets, wishing more than anything in the world that today had just been a *really* bad nightmare that I was going to wake up from.
Somehow, I don't think I'm that lucky...
***Daisuke***
As soon as I left Takeru's apartment, I ran as fast as I could wanting to put as much distance between me and the person that had just ripped my dreams to shreds as I could.
How could he *do* this to me!?!? When I explained what happened to him, he said he understood and that he trusted me. We even made love that night, strengthening the bond between us. Did it mean so little to him? Was he even my friend in the first place? Why wait until the day before he's supposed to *leave* to do this. As if on instinct, my body led me to the one place where I could go and lick my wounds in peace.
Home.
Jumping into the nearest elevator, I punched the button for my floor, urging it to go faster before I had a total breakdown, something I absolutely refused to do in public. A few seconds later, the doors opened and I rushed to the end of the hall, already feeling wetness on my face.
~Damn you! Why'd you have to do this, Takeru?~ I thought viciously, punching the wall beside the door.
Opening the door, I am surrounded by the familiar sounds of the T.V and laughterJun must be home.
Great. Just what I need. Why can't she stay at college like people her age.
As I walked past her towards my room I heard her yell out, "Hey doofus! Back already?" she yelled from her permenant perch on the couch.
Not in the mood for insults I just ignored her, went straight to my room, and slammed the door.
Without a moment's hesitation, I flopped down on my bed and allowed myself to release all the anger and hurt I was feeling from Takeru's treatment. Grabbing my pillow I cried and let only small gasps of air escape my lips. As I was wallowing in my self pity I suddenly felt someone put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it as if to comfort me.
Looking up through my tear-flooded eyes, I recognized the blurry image of my oneechan.
"What do you want?" I ask snidely, shrugging her hand off in hopes that she would leave me alone.
"I just wanted to know what's wrong with you," she said, placing her hand where it was, her tone firm.
"It's none of your business!" I shot back, feeling the anger began to rise once again. If she wanted to push, I could damn well push too. Besides, I was itching for a good fight right about now.
Putting both of her hands on the side of my face, she said a little impatiently, "If you are crying, it *is* my business, so tell me already!"
"Just leave me alone, Jun. I'm not in the mood right now," I whispered, pulling out of her embrace to face the wall, the anger draining from my body as quickly as it sparked before.
"I don't *care* if you're in the mood or not, but you are going to tell me why you are crying!" she told me, her eyes never wavering from my tear-streaked face.
"Go to hell," I muttered bitterly, hoping that insults would throw her off.
"I've been there already, but it's too hot," she replied in turn, not missing a beat.
Sighing, I turned around to face her again. I should have known better than to think that she couldn't drag it out of me. We Motomiyas are persistent. If we want something we don't give until we've got it. In this case it happens to be that Jun-neechan wants to know what's wrong with me so I guess she's going to find out.
~Well, at least I know she cares...~
After few minutes of silence, I began to pour out the whole ordeal to her, at times stopping because I would get too choked up with tears. At the end of my story I could feel the anger radiating off of her, but when I looked into her eyes all I could see was concern for me.
Grabbing me up in a strong hug, she rocked me back and forth like she did when we were younger.
"Don't worry PB, it will be alright," she crooned, rubbing my back.
See, when I was little, my mom used to call me her 'little panda bear', so Jun did too. Eventually, she shortened it to PB. Hearing her use that old nickname eased some of the pain...even if it was only for a minute.
"Just rest", and before I knew it, my eyes were closed and my world plunged in blackness.
When I woke up, I found myself staring into pools of violet...eyes that seemed to radiate kindness and a touch of pity. Recognition was instant.
Rubbing my eyes a little, I sat up feeling as if I had run a hundred laps at soccer practice.
"What are you doing here?" I asked groggily, wincing at the harshness of my tone.
Not seeming offended, he replied, "Well I was worried when you didn't come to pick up Chibimon and I paged you. When you didn't answer, I called here.
"Well, where's Chibimon?" I asked, looking around for my small, blue furball friend. I needed all the comfort I could get right now.
"I thought it would be better if he stayed with Minomon for a bit. I figured that you might want to talk or something," Ken said diplomatically, brushing some hair out of my eyes.
Hearing the subtle question under his response, I already knew that he had heard what happened. "I guess Jun told you what happened, ne?" I asked with a sigh.
"Yes. I'm not going to ask if you are okay because I know that you're not, but is there anything that I can do to help?"
Kind, gentle Ken.
I was sort of surprised that he was here. I mean, after what happened and all. But it was good to know that he would be there for me, no matter what.
~Unlike some people I know.~
"Dais, you don't have to give me details. I just want to let you know that
I'm here for you and always will be," he reassured me as he gently tucked the blanket around me.
Before I went back to sleep, I looked at Ken one more time and was confused by the expression on his face.
Was it just me or did he seem...
Happy?
Shaking my head a little, I dismissed the thought and rolled over and closing my eyes to fall in a fitful sleep, my dreams haunted by a certain blue-eyed blond.
tbc..........
T his was a difficult chapter to write! So, don't be upset if it sucks!! No really, partly because halfway through the plot starting changing! Oh well, those are the things that you have to expect when you write fanfiction! ^_^ Anyway, please review! I would like at least seven before I post the next chapter...that way I know that people still want this to continue.
ja ne
dream-chan
Author's Notes:
Yep, I'm back with another chapter of Contradictions. First, I have to thank everyone for their kind words and reviews. I really appreciate them.
CSMars, I'll try to give u more taito fluff, so don't worry, k?
Rae, I must say that your new taisuke fic is fabulous!
Second, I have to give props to the fabulous (now online buddy) anna-chan. She has truly helped me out when I thought this fic was on it's way down the drain! ^_^ I would also like to make an announcement. This will be the last chapter that I am posting on Fanfiction.net. The reason being is that I just don't get enough feedback for this story on here. So, I thought to myself, what is the point of posting, if no one is going to read it. However if this does effect you, please let me know!
I've also noticed that I used some Japanese in here that may not be common knowledge to everyone, so here is a little guide for ya...
kawaii=cute
chikosume=son of a b&*@%
sayonara=goodbye
Disclaimer: This time we have everyone's favorite bishie (well one of *mine* anyway), Yamato to do the disclaimer.
Yamato: You *do* know that I am to cool to do this, right?
Dream-chan: I know, I know, b-b-but you promised! ::Starts to use the puppy eyes Dai taught her::
Yamato: Okayokay! Just cut it out with the eye thing! Where did you learn how to do that anyway? Wait, let me guessDaisuke?
Dream-chan: ::grins:: Yep! Thanx Yama!
Yamato: Dream-chan has not, does not, and will never own Digimon. Now, if you'll *excuse* me, I have to kill a certain maroon-haired goggle head. ::storms off looking for Daisuke::
Dream-chan: ::yells after Yama:: Hey, don't hurt him *too* bad or else Takeru won't be too happy!
By the way, I know that the characters are going to be a bit OOC, but I figured since it's fanfiction, I can make them act any way I want soHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
***POV***
~thoughts~
"dialogue"
Well, with all that said and done...enjoy the fic! ^_^
Title: Contradictions-Chapter 5
Author: dream-chan
Email: dream_chan@hotmail.com
Editor: anna-chan
Rating: R (language and limish content)
***Ken***
Everythi ng that I have ever wanted and more is in my arms right now. I am kissing my best friend and soulmate.
This is the stuff that dreams are made of.
See, I knew that it was only a matter of time before anything happened. This is just the way it's supposed to be.
Daisuke is *mine*!
"Ken! What are you *doing*?" Daisuke exclaimed as he pulled away, holding me at arms length. I could see the confusion reflected in his face as he tried to comprehend what had just happened between us.
Playing the role I knew so well, I dropped my head so that my hair would shield my face, giving me the appearance of pure embarrassment and innocence. "I-I'm sorry Daisuke-kun. I didn't mean...it's just that I am so l-lo-lonely," I stuttered, embellishing for my little 'performance'.
"Hey, c'mon, enough of that. What are you talking about? You still have me, you know that," he said gently, pushing some stray hairs from my face. Damn, I love this feeling.
"Yeah, but with you and Takeru being together, I feel like an intruder...like I don't belong," I said, hoping that there was enough sincerity in my voice so he wouldn't see through the lie I just told him.
"Aww Ken...we never meant for that to happen. Why didn't you say anything
sooner?"
"I just didn't know how to approach you, and then I was so down I figured that there wasn't a point."
"Listen Ken and you listen good. If there is something bothering you, come to me. You can tell me anything, alright? I'll *always* be here for you and I know that you would do the same thing for me. Now c'mon and wipe those tears. We wouldn't want those pretty eyes to get all red and puffy now, would we? What would Miya-chan think then?" he teased trying to get me to laugh.
~Yeah, like I care about what *Miyako* or any of the others think. Only you, my Suke-chan.~
Giving Daisuke the expected reaction, I wiped the tears from my eyes and pasted a shaky smile on my face.
"Thank you. Sorry for being such a nutcase." I said with a small grin, knowing that he had believed everything that I just told him...just like I knew he would.
Giving me a reassuring hug, he said, "Don't worry. All of us nutcases have to stick together. Now I have to go and meet Takeru. Are you going to be alright?" he asked, already climbing down the ladder from my bed.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks again Dais." I said calmly, while inwardly wincing at my rival's name.
"Hey, what are friends for?" he replied happily, feeling good now that everything was worked out between us. With one last wave, he opened the door and left.
Hearing my bedroom door shut, I climbed down the ladder and went over to the bookcase. Grabbing a stool I reached up, and pushing some books to the side grabbed the small disc recorder I had playing.
Pressing the stop button, I stepped down and hugged the little machine to my chest. Ejecting the disc, I held it between my fingers and just looked at it.
My little insurance policy.
***Takeru***
Looking over at Daisuke, I wondered for the hundredth time what could be bothering him. All day, he has been spacing out and there were times when I had to wave my hands in his face just to get his attention. At first, I was a bit annoyed that he was ignoring me, but when he kept tuning me out, I became concerned. For Daisuke to be quiet just didn't make sense. It was like saying he gave up soccer...never gonna happen.
With an idea in mind, I steered him towards my apartment. I figured that would be a good place to talk since my mom was out of town on an overnight assignment. It would be perfect for a private conversation.
In less then fifteen minutes, we were in my apartment. After taking off coat and shoes, I led us over to the couch which had been a witness to many heart to heart talks. We both sat down and I pulled him close, silently telling him that I was here when he was ready. However, after about ten minutes of nothing I just couldn't take the silence anymore.
Turning so that I was facing him, I grabbed his hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze.
"*Please* Dai...tell me what's wrong.
All of the sudden, he blinked and looked around, looking a bit startled that we had ended up here. Then, without preamble, he stared straight into my eyes and said, "Ken kissed me."
It was a good thing that I was sitting down, because I think my knees would have given out on me if I had been standing. I felt like one of those anime characters that had just been hit with a giant mallet. Pulling away from him, I stood up and started pacing...a clear indicator that I was worried, tense, or upset. In this case, all three.
Daisuke recognized these signs as well and quickly jumped in with an explanation. "I know this sounds really lame, but nothing happened, I swear. How about I give you some background and you decide for yourself?" he said, pleading that I would listen to what he had to say.
Knowing that I was asking for it, I told him, "Tell me everything that happened."
So, he told me how Ken had called him last night to ask if he would come over, and since Daisuke had been worried like the rest of us about Ken's behavior recently, he was glad that Ken was finally ready to tell him what the deal was. When he confronted Ken, he was shocked to find him crying, so Dai-chan just hugged him, trying to console our friend in the best way he knew how. Then, just when he thought he was ready to talk, Ken was kissing him.
At this point, I was livid. I wanted to lash out at Ken, but at the same time, I just couldn't. It wasn't his fault that he fell in love with Daisuke, just like it wasn't mine. The only thing that I could do was trust that Daisuke would let Ken know where the boundaries in their relationship were. Even though I loved Dai to the depth of my being, I refused to act like a jealous idiot. That would only make things worse. Besides, if we were going to have a long distance relationship, I had to trust him.
Turning back around, I could see the tension radiating off Dai. I guess my quietness was unnerving him a bit. Sighing, I walked back to the couch and sat down.
"Daisuke, I'm not going to say I'm not upset, but I want you to know that I love you and I appreciate it that you didn't try to hide this from me. I love you Dai-chan...always."
"Oh *thank* you, Take-chan! Koi, I love you so much," he whispered, gathering me into a heartwarming embrace.
For minutes, we just sat there holding each other, feeling relieved that we had overcome our first obstacle together. However, I couldn't help to have a nagging suspicion...a suspicion that Ken was trying to take Dai-chan away from me.
The question was, would he succeed?
Shoving that to the back of my mind, I concentrated on what mattered most at the moment.
Putting both hands on the side of his face, I surged forward, giving Daisuke a kiss that conveyed all the love and desire I held for him. Within moments, I felt tan arms wrap around my waist, pulling me even closer.
After a few minutes, we broke apart panting as we tried to get air into our oxygen-deprived lungs. As I looked over at Dai, all I saw was this bemused expression that made him look so kawaii.
We continued to make-out until something between us seemed to change. I don't know why, but it did. I guess Dai felt it too, because when he pulled away I could see the fear and hesitation lurking in those chocolate depths.
"What is it, Dai-chan? C'mon, you can tell me." I urged, bringing my lips to touch his.
He bit his lip as he looked up at me and asked in a quiet voice, "Takeru, are you happy with me?"
I stared at him in shock. Why would he think I was unhappy with him? "Dai, where is this coming from? Of *course* I'm happy with you!"
To put any and all doubts to rest, I kissed him again, pouring my heart and soul into that kiss. As Daisuke began to respond, I could feel my passion and desire for him spike even higher than before. Taking things a bit further, I moved my lips to his neck, leaving a trail of kisses from his ear down to where I could feel his pulse racing in his throat, it's echo beating in my own.
"Take-chan, are...are you sure about this? We can stop now if you want to..." he groaned, placing a hand on my cheek in a gesture of understanding.
Turning into the embrace, I closed my eyes, relishing in the sensation of the contact. At that moment, I knew that what we were about to do was right.
"No, I don't want to stop. What I want right now, is *you*. Please Dai-chanlove me.", was all I said, before I claimed his mouth once more, glorying in the feeling.
By his hesitation I thought he was going to refuse, until I felt his lips descend upon mine, the urgent pressure making my head swim. Soon, I felt myself being lifted and carried and the next thing I knew we were in my bedroom, a tangle of arms and legs on the bed. There was a sort of desperation in our movements as we kissed and touched each other. Clothes were thrown off and discarded hastily in our hurry to feel skin on skin. Changing the pace, we took our time, exploring each other bodies, exciting with each moan or gasp that escaped our lips. It seemed that our hands knew instinctively where to go and what to do. The contrast of milky white and tan skin filled me a sense of rightness, as if that is how it should always be.
With one final kiss, I was his. He was mine. We became one.
The next morning, I realized waking up next to Daisuke was one of the most life-changing events in my life. I know that what we did last night changed everything, but I wanted to let him know that no matter where I go or how far apart we may be, I would *always* belong to him, just like he would belong to me.
I know that some people will think that we moved too fast for this, but when you only uhave a month, sometimes you have to speed things up a little. Besides, we had been in love with each other for so long, we both felt that we were ready to express our love to each other on the highest level that there was.
I have to admit, with us both being inexperienced, there was some pain, but the pleasure and ecstasy that followed *more* than made up for those moments of discomfort.
However, the best part was afterwards when we just held each other, murmuring our love until sleep claimed us.
Geez, I'm mushy, aren't I? But that night was incredible and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Cuddling closer to the snoring boy beside me, I drifted back to sleep and dreamt of the day when we would never have to leave each other again.
***Ken***
I can't believe that I am doing this to myself. As I sit here on the slightly lumpy couch in the Motomiya's living room, amid all the good cheer, I come to the realization that I must be a masochist.
Why, you ask?
Because only a masochist would sit here complacently and watch the love of his life cuddle and make-out with their boyfriend. And to make it worse, it seems that they have moved further in their relationship than I suspected, if the closeness between the two is any indication.
Just another reason to kill Takaishi.
I mean, you think that a genius like me would have tried to come up with a watertight excuse to miss this little function, but I forgot that Daisuke was a master at persuasion.
Damn his puppy eyes. Damn me for falling for it.
Then again, it's a going away party for the dumb blonde, but I can think of it as more of a celebration.
~Sayonara pretty boy! Good riddance.~
I was startled out of my thoughts, by someone tapping me on my shoulder.
Turning around with a ready smile on my face, it dimmed slightly when I recognized who interrupted me.
Takeru. Stupid chikosume.
So, he finally decided to confront me. I was beginning to wonder what was taking the idiot so long. Feeling more alert, I turned around to face him.
"Hello Takaishi-san, are you ready for you trip?" I asked politely, my voice just *dripping* with fake cheerfulness.
"Yes, thank you for asking", he answered in the same saccharine-laced tone I had given him.
Not really one to beat around the bush, I went straight to the heart of the matter. "So, is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?"
"Yes actually, there is. How about we take this out to the balcony?"
"That will be fine."
Getting up we discreetly made our way to the balcony doors. Opening them, I allowed Takeru to go before me as I followed him outside. Closing the doors with a subtle click, I walked over to where Takeru was standing by the railing.
Hmm, it would be so easy just to...
~Bad thoughts, Ken. Bad thoughts~
"So, what's the problem?" I ask, knowing full well that it was me.
Instantly I was face to face with the Takeru I remember from my Emperor days. The one that had dared to hit me. At that moment I knew one thing.
Playtime was over.
"Look Ichijouji-san, I just wanted to let you know that I am on to your little game and I don't appreciate it," he snapped out, eyes blazing with an inner fire.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I replied nonchalantly, wanting to irk him even more.
"Cut the bullshit! Daisuke told me about how you kissed him and gave him this sob story about us abandoning you!" he accused, his upper lip curling slightly.
"Just like *you're* abandoning him?" I replied silkily, seeing by his reaction that I hit a sore spot.
"What are you talking about?" he muttered, indignation shadowing his features.
"Hmm, let me see. Let's start with how you avoided him steadily for weeks before you declared your so-called 'love' for him. Even now, you are leaving him to go halfway around the world. What does that say about *you*?"
"I don't have to hear this shit! I just came out here to tell you one thing and one thing only. BACK OFF!" he said forcefully, poking me in the chest.
Looking at the offending finger with distaste, I removed it as if it was covered in sludge and gave him a look that would have made the others think that the Kaiser just made a comeback. "Is *that* so? Well who's gonna make me?"
Just to see his fists ball up and his face turn red made me want to giggle like mad, but I wanted to leave my rival some dignity. That's the least that I could do.
"Ichijouji, I *refuse* to play this game with you. You can fuck off for all I care, but since you are Dai-chan's friend I will *try* to put up with you, but that is the only reason. But if you hurt Dai in *any* way with your little games I will *personally* take pleasure in kicking your ass all over again."
With that, he walked back inside, letting the warmth and laughter from inside the apartment escape into the chilly night air.
Turning, I looked out towards the nighttime sky, and taking in a refreshing breath I've decided that it is time up the stakes. I didn't want to do it, but he left me no choice.
As I walked back inside, I see the 'happy' couple and it is all that I can do not to go over and physically remove that blond bimbo from what is mine, but I just put a smile on my face knowing that soon, I wouldn't have to do anything.
Takeru would do my dirty work for me, and I would be there to pick up the pieces for my Suke-chan.
Patience is a virtue.
***Takeru***
As I was sitting down to breakfast, I couldn't believe that the next day I was flying to the States. I mean, I knew that it was coming but it seemed that time had decided to move at warp speed, and it took me a minute to actually believe that I was leaving in a few days. The party that the Digidestined gave me was wonderful. Having all my friends there to wish me luck meant the world to me. Even though it was marred by that little run-in with Ken, I still had a great time. They even gave me this journal where each of them had written a message to me, but I figured that I would save it to read on the plane trip.
One year away from home...away from the others...without my Dai-chan. But I was not going to think about that today. Today was one for making lasting memories...memories that would have to sustain me until I came back from the States. Today, it would be only me and Daisuke. I couldn't wait, hoping we could have a replay of what happened a week ago.
~Whew.....what a memory!~ my face blushing at the visions running across my mind.
Since my mom had gone into work for a half-day I just made myself a small bowl of cereal. As I was washing up the bowl I heard a small knock on the door. I placed the bowl in the drying rack and walked out into the hall to open the door. Seeing no one I became a little confused, thinking that maybe I was just hearing things, until I looked down and saw a large envelope with my name on it. Curious, I picked it up and closed the door while I looked at it trying to find anything familiar, but couldn't.
Not being able to stand it any longer, I ripped it open, watching as pictures spilled out and a letter fluttered to my feet. Bending down, I gathered everything into my hands and walked over to the couch.
Takaishi-san,
I'm sorry to do this, but I think that this is better for everyone. I know that you think that you and Daisuke are meant to be, but don't you see what you are *doing* to him? The only reason that he tells you he loves you is because he does...as a *friend*. You know that, I know that. Hopefully these pictures will help you to see the truth. If you truly love him, you will let him go to be happy with the one he *really* loves. I'm sorry to do this, but it's gone on long enough. Please understand.
Letting the letter drop, I picked up one of the pictures and what I saw ripped my heart out.
Ken and Daisuke kissing...looking as if they never wanted the moment to end.
Looking at the state of bliss on Dai's face, I knew that Ken was telling the truth. I was such a fool.
This was not supposed to happen...not to us.
~No, no, no! Why, Daisuke, why? How could you do this? I thought you loved me~
As the saying goes...if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Looking at these pictures, I finally accept that Daisuke was never really mine. Seeing the expressions on each of their faces hurt me so much. As I re-read the letter again, all I could concentrate on was one phrase.
If you truly love him, you will let him go.
Let him go...Let him go...Let him go...Let him go...
Letting out a vicious growl I grabbed the pictures and ripped them to shreds, not wanting a visual reminder of the lie that I had been living for the past month. At that point, I wanted nothing more than to break anything that I could get my hands on.
Hearing a knock at the door I calmed myself down and went to answer it, already knowing who waited on the other side. Better get this over with now.
"Hey," was all he said before he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me. It took everything I had not to respond and to relax into his embrace.
"What's wrong?" he asked with confusion and hurt in his voice.
"We need to talk. Please sit down." I say simply, feeling the rage inside about to surface.
Slowly, the smile dropped from his face, already sensing that something was terribly wrong.
"I think I'd prefer to stand. Now tell me what is wrong with you." he pleads.
"Fine, have it your way. I don't really know how to say this, but I think it would be better if we just end this now..." I said firmly, feeling my heart start to break all over again.
"End!?!? What are you *talking* about Take-chan?" he yelled, disbelief evident on his face.
"Please don't call me that," was all I could say, trying not to look at his face. I couldn't stand to see the pained look in his eyes.
Taking a few steps towards me, he held out his hands in supplicate gesture. "Take-chTakeru-kun, what is going on? What's *wrong* with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me! Kami-sama! Why must you be so thick-headed!?!?" I shouted, allowing some of the anger I was feeling to filter into my voice.
"I-I don't understand," he stuttered, clearly taken aback by my sudden mood swing.
Steeling my nerves, I looked him dead in the eyes and said in the coldest voice
I could muster, "Let me make it plain and simple. I think that it would be a good idea if we weren't together anymore."
I think if I had stabbed him in the heart, it would have hurt less, but I had to do this. I couldn't let him be with me out of some sort of twisted form of loyalty. I had to finish this.
"I've finally realized that the feelings that I have for you isn't love. It never was. I'm sorry."
"How...how can you *say* that? Why are you *doing* this, Take-chan?" he said, looking like I had just told him that Chibimon died.
I just ignored his questions and continued as if I never heard him. "It was just a crush with intense fascination. I just made the mistake of thinking it was love."
All he did was stand there, not saying a word. I would have figured that he would be screaming and calling all sorts of unmentionable names. I would have actually *preferred* that to this charged silence between us. Not being able to take it anymore, I threw out the opening gambit.
Walking towards him, I continued to speak, each and every word killing me inside. "Look, it's not fair to either of us to continue this. I care for you, but I don't love you. I'm sorry. I just think that this is better for the both of us. Please understand..."
"Oh I understand alright! You are still upset with me for what happened between Ken and I, aren't you! I told you it meant *nothing*. *Absolutely* nothing! Why can't you believe that?" he asked angrily, striving hard to keep control.
Becoming a little angry myself at his denial, I interrupted, "Daisuke, pleaseyou are just making this harder for us."
"You think I give a *shit* about *hard* it is!!! Do you *understand* what you are *doing* to me?"
"DaisukeDai-chan" I stuttered, my heart weeping at the hurt and anger in his voice.
"NO! Don't *ever* call me that again! You just lost the privilege! FUCK YOU! You can go to HELL FOR ALL I CARE, TAKAISHI TAKERU! You may have broken my *heart*, but I will *not* let you break *me*!"
"Look! You can swear at me all you want to, but that is not going to change things. Can't you see that I am doing what is best for everyone?"
"SHUT *UP*!" he shouted savagely. "You know, I was a real fool to believe that you would *ever* be happy with someone like me, huh?"
"Daisuke, please don't say things like that. That is not true and you know it." I placated, each word cutting me down to the bone.
"What else am I supposed to think!? Especially after what happened between us. I thought that it was something *special* Takeru, and now you're trying to tell me that you no longer feel anything for me. So, what was it, Takeru? Was I just an experiment that didn't turn out the way you wanted? Are you going to run to your precious Hikari-chan now that the trial period is up? HUH? Answer me!"
"Daisuke...*please* understand," I tried for one final time, knowing that this was probably the last time I would see him. Even though I could no longer call him mine, I still wanted to have some sort of relationship with himanything other than this blazing anger.
"There is nothing *to* understand. You made it perfectly that you don't want to be with me. So, I'll let you go, but *don't* expect me to be there to wish you a good trip," he said, his tone dangerously low. With that said he turned around and walked out of my apartment.
Walked out of my life...forever.
After the door slammed closed, I could do nothing but slide down the wall and allow the tears to flow as I cried my heart out. I had just lost the most precious thing in the world to me.
I don't know how long I sat there staring into nothingness, when the door suddenly opened, revealing my brother and his boyfriend laughing about something or another.
Seeing the smiles on their faces triggered a wave of jealousy to wash over me. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Before my brother even had a chance to ask me what was wrong I ran to my room and slammed the door, sobbing into my pillow for all its worth.
I wasn't surprised when I found my 'niichan pulling me into his arms a few seconds later. Without asking any questions, he just gave me comfort the only way he knew how. The way he rocked me back in forth reminded me of when we were younger. Whenever our parents would fight I would get so frightened, but I knew that Yamato would make it all better. He just hugged me and calmed me down, letting me cry my tears out.
Not being afraid to let my guard down in front of Yama-niichan, I just cried and let out all the betrayal, anger, and sadness that had bottled up inside of me. To experience your dream and then have it ripped away from you is *so* much worse than not having had it at all.
I loved him *so* much. Truth be told, I still do.
~Dai...I miss you already!~
When I woke up it was to my soft bed and a pair of concerned amber eyes.
Hikari. Always kind and caring, and always there when you need a friend.
"I'm not going to force you talk about what happened, but I just want to let you know that I'm here for you."
"Thank you."
"There's no need, Takeru. I'll *always* be here when you need me!"
What did I tell you?
Hearing voices outside my room, I asked her who else was in the apartment.
"Oh, it's just Yamato and Taichi. Don't worry, I promise that they won't badger you. I'll make sure of it."
"How?"
"Don't you worry about that. For now, just go back to sleep. You might feel a little better if you get some more rest," she said gently, giving me a quick peck on my cheek and even tucking me in. Hikari-chan will make a great mother some day.
Taking her advice I snuggled down into my blankets, wishing more than anything in the world that today had just been a *really* bad nightmare that I was going to wake up from.
Somehow, I don't think I'm that lucky...
***Daisuke***
As soon as I left Takeru's apartment, I ran as fast as I could wanting to put as much distance between me and the person that had just ripped my dreams to shreds as I could.
How could he *do* this to me!?!? When I explained what happened to him, he said he understood and that he trusted me. We even made love that night, strengthening the bond between us. Did it mean so little to him? Was he even my friend in the first place? Why wait until the day before he's supposed to *leave* to do this. As if on instinct, my body led me to the one place where I could go and lick my wounds in peace.
Home.
Jumping into the nearest elevator, I punched the button for my floor, urging it to go faster before I had a total breakdown, something I absolutely refused to do in public. A few seconds later, the doors opened and I rushed to the end of the hall, already feeling wetness on my face.
~Damn you! Why'd you have to do this, Takeru?~ I thought viciously, punching the wall beside the door.
Opening the door, I am surrounded by the familiar sounds of the T.V and laughterJun must be home.
Great. Just what I need. Why can't she stay at college like people her age.
As I walked past her towards my room I heard her yell out, "Hey doofus! Back already?" she yelled from her permenant perch on the couch.
Not in the mood for insults I just ignored her, went straight to my room, and slammed the door.
Without a moment's hesitation, I flopped down on my bed and allowed myself to release all the anger and hurt I was feeling from Takeru's treatment. Grabbing my pillow I cried and let only small gasps of air escape my lips. As I was wallowing in my self pity I suddenly felt someone put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it as if to comfort me.
Looking up through my tear-flooded eyes, I recognized the blurry image of my oneechan.
"What do you want?" I ask snidely, shrugging her hand off in hopes that she would leave me alone.
"I just wanted to know what's wrong with you," she said, placing her hand where it was, her tone firm.
"It's none of your business!" I shot back, feeling the anger began to rise once again. If she wanted to push, I could damn well push too. Besides, I was itching for a good fight right about now.
Putting both of her hands on the side of my face, she said a little impatiently, "If you are crying, it *is* my business, so tell me already!"
"Just leave me alone, Jun. I'm not in the mood right now," I whispered, pulling out of her embrace to face the wall, the anger draining from my body as quickly as it sparked before.
"I don't *care* if you're in the mood or not, but you are going to tell me why you are crying!" she told me, her eyes never wavering from my tear-streaked face.
"Go to hell," I muttered bitterly, hoping that insults would throw her off.
"I've been there already, but it's too hot," she replied in turn, not missing a beat.
Sighing, I turned around to face her again. I should have known better than to think that she couldn't drag it out of me. We Motomiyas are persistent. If we want something we don't give until we've got it. In this case it happens to be that Jun-neechan wants to know what's wrong with me so I guess she's going to find out.
~Well, at least I know she cares...~
After few minutes of silence, I began to pour out the whole ordeal to her, at times stopping because I would get too choked up with tears. At the end of my story I could feel the anger radiating off of her, but when I looked into her eyes all I could see was concern for me.
Grabbing me up in a strong hug, she rocked me back and forth like she did when we were younger.
"Don't worry PB, it will be alright," she crooned, rubbing my back.
See, when I was little, my mom used to call me her 'little panda bear', so Jun did too. Eventually, she shortened it to PB. Hearing her use that old nickname eased some of the pain...even if it was only for a minute.
"Just rest", and before I knew it, my eyes were closed and my world plunged in blackness.
When I woke up, I found myself staring into pools of violet...eyes that seemed to radiate kindness and a touch of pity. Recognition was instant.
Rubbing my eyes a little, I sat up feeling as if I had run a hundred laps at soccer practice.
"What are you doing here?" I asked groggily, wincing at the harshness of my tone.
Not seeming offended, he replied, "Well I was worried when you didn't come to pick up Chibimon and I paged you. When you didn't answer, I called here.
"Well, where's Chibimon?" I asked, looking around for my small, blue furball friend. I needed all the comfort I could get right now.
"I thought it would be better if he stayed with Minomon for a bit. I figured that you might want to talk or something," Ken said diplomatically, brushing some hair out of my eyes.
Hearing the subtle question under his response, I already knew that he had heard what happened. "I guess Jun told you what happened, ne?" I asked with a sigh.
"Yes. I'm not going to ask if you are okay because I know that you're not, but is there anything that I can do to help?"
Kind, gentle Ken.
I was sort of surprised that he was here. I mean, after what happened and all. But it was good to know that he would be there for me, no matter what.
~Unlike some people I know.~
"Dais, you don't have to give me details. I just want to let you know that
I'm here for you and always will be," he reassured me as he gently tucked the blanket around me.
Before I went back to sleep, I looked at Ken one more time and was confused by the expression on his face.
Was it just me or did he seem...
Happy?
Shaking my head a little, I dismissed the thought and rolled over and closing my eyes to fall in a fitful sleep, my dreams haunted by a certain blue-eyed blond.
tbc..........
T his was a difficult chapter to write! So, don't be upset if it sucks!! No really, partly because halfway through the plot starting changing! Oh well, those are the things that you have to expect when you write fanfiction! ^_^ Anyway, please review! I would like at least seven before I post the next chapter...that way I know that people still want this to continue.
ja ne
dream-chan