Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ Just a Kairuki ❯ Chapter 1
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: SakuraSyaoran4eva 
The Kaiser has a plan to stop the chosen from ever entering the Digiworld... and it works. That is until a pretty 11 year old girl accidentlly activates the digiport ( Ruki ), enters the Digiworld, and falls head over heals for the kaiser (even though she won't admit it)... the kaiser on the other hand... well he says he's not in love. But is that true? Kairuki ( Kaiser x Ruki )
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Fantasy / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.25.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 826 | Visits: 266 | Status: Work In Progress
The Kaiser has a plan to stop the chosen from ever entering the Digiworld... and it works. That is until a pretty 11 year old girl accidentlly activates the digiport ( Ruki ), enters the Digiworld, and falls head over heals for the kaiser (even though she won't admit it)... the kaiser on the other hand... well he says he's not in love. But is that true? Kairuki ( Kaiser x Ruki )
Anime/Manga: Digimon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Fantasy / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.25.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 826 | Visits: 266 | Status: Work In Progress
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Ohayo Minna-san! It's been a long time, but I finally got this out! This is just your basic chapter and there's no kairuki (kaizer x Ruki) in this but there will be in the next chapters. Don't forget to r+r!
"..." Words spoken out loud
'...' character thoughts
~...~ Scene or character's POV changing
By the way, I don't own digimon. (Duh!)
**************************************************************** ************************
Just A Kairuki
Chapter 1
~Ruki's POV~
'This is sooo boring!' I thought as Sensei handed out the weekend's assignment. ' What stupid kind of teacher gives you homework on a Saturday?' I glanced at the clock. 'That stupid bell better ring soon or else I'm gonna die of boredom'
"Ruki?" I blinked. Sensei was standing in front of my desk, frowning. Apparently, she had noticed that I wasn't paying attention. "Ruki, did you hear me?"
"..." Sensei Sighed.
"Ruki-" She started but was cut off by the bell. "You are dismissed!" She led me to her desk as all the other students rushed out. "Ruki, you've been chosen to take the computer classes."
"Excuse me?" I said, not sure what she was talking about.
"Weren't you listening?"
'No, I was too busy thinking about how *nice* you are to give us homework on a Saturday' Taking my silence as a no, she went on.
"A student from each class has been chosen to take computer classes."
"So?"
" Your class starts in about 36 minutes. Why don't you head over there right now?" I rolled my eyes.
" Where?"
" The computer lab!" She said scowling at me.
"Whatever!." I answered rolling my eyes while bowing and leaving the room.
~10 minutes later~
'I'm lost!' I groaned. 'What kind of teacher doesn't tell you which lab, I mean there must be at least 20 labs in this place!' I walked around, lost, for a few minutes before heading for one of the student offices and picking up a map. As soon as I walked away, I remembered that I had forgotten to ask which lab to go to. Sighing, I turned around and went back.
~ Minutes later~
I finally walked into the right computer lab, exhausted. I could hear my stomach growling, and for the first time realized I was hungry. I noticed a vending machine in a corner and started to walk toward it. Then, I noticed a bright pink laptop and pulled out my Digi-device.
'I've tried this before and it doesn't work, so why do I have a feeling it'll work this time?'
"Digi-port open!" I shouted and everything went black.
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Please review. I noticed that some people wanted longer chapters and even though this is short, I swear that the next chapter will be much longer. I know that Ruki is a bit out of character right now but I am working on that little detail. Also, I got a little review from Cynthia, Piedmon's lady (on FF.Net):
Question. Why are you calling your fanmade character by one of the names of the actual Tamers? This is in no way Makino Ruki. Not in the slightest. She's missing everything that makes her Ruki, not the least of which is Renamon, and a functioning brain.
Other flaws: not enough details. Why do people feel compelled to spit out five sentences and call it "done"? Has the concept of actually writing something that's got actual _descriptions_ and thoughts that are in character been lost somewhere? Did someone kidnap the concept and are they holding it for ransom? Writing little spurts like this is the work of someone who is lazy and just wants to be told how awesome they are, not someone who is serious about what they're doing.
I have said this before about things like this, and I will say it again: I have seen (and written) fanfic _outlines_ that are in more detail and more depth than this. Sketchiness can work for humor fanfics, but for a couple like this, you need _details_.
The punctuation also needs work, and the whole thing needs a competent beta-reader who isn't going to drool insanely because it happens to be a particular couple.
Why am I calling my character Makino Ruki? That's because it *is* her name. Oh, maybe you didn't see that little note about Ruki being a little out-of-character in the first few chapters? Why is Ruki not with Renamon? Because she's at school!!! FYI, I *am* serious about what I'm doing! But guess what? I'm also serious about my school work and my life! For the fanfic outlines thing, yes, I write fanfic outlines, too, and yes my outlines are much longer then Chapter 1, but this is only the first chapter and I needed this to be a basic chapter! About the little spurts, I'm a beggining writing and I'm only 12, which means I'm not that good of a writer. Not enough detail? This is only the first chapter! In order to make Ruki's character more like Ruki, should I make her swear or something?
Anyways, please review.
*************************************************************** *********
Ohayo Minna-san! It's been a long time, but I finally got this out! This is just your basic chapter and there's no kairuki (kaizer x Ruki) in this but there will be in the next chapters. Don't forget to r+r!
"..." Words spoken out loud
'...' character thoughts
~...~ Scene or character's POV changing
By the way, I don't own digimon. (Duh!)
**************************************************************** ************************
Just A Kairuki
Chapter 1
~Ruki's POV~
'This is sooo boring!' I thought as Sensei handed out the weekend's assignment. ' What stupid kind of teacher gives you homework on a Saturday?' I glanced at the clock. 'That stupid bell better ring soon or else I'm gonna die of boredom'
"Ruki?" I blinked. Sensei was standing in front of my desk, frowning. Apparently, she had noticed that I wasn't paying attention. "Ruki, did you hear me?"
"..." Sensei Sighed.
"Ruki-" She started but was cut off by the bell. "You are dismissed!" She led me to her desk as all the other students rushed out. "Ruki, you've been chosen to take the computer classes."
"Excuse me?" I said, not sure what she was talking about.
"Weren't you listening?"
'No, I was too busy thinking about how *nice* you are to give us homework on a Saturday' Taking my silence as a no, she went on.
"A student from each class has been chosen to take computer classes."
"So?"
" Your class starts in about 36 minutes. Why don't you head over there right now?" I rolled my eyes.
" Where?"
" The computer lab!" She said scowling at me.
"Whatever!." I answered rolling my eyes while bowing and leaving the room.
~10 minutes later~
'I'm lost!' I groaned. 'What kind of teacher doesn't tell you which lab, I mean there must be at least 20 labs in this place!' I walked around, lost, for a few minutes before heading for one of the student offices and picking up a map. As soon as I walked away, I remembered that I had forgotten to ask which lab to go to. Sighing, I turned around and went back.
~ Minutes later~
I finally walked into the right computer lab, exhausted. I could hear my stomach growling, and for the first time realized I was hungry. I noticed a vending machine in a corner and started to walk toward it. Then, I noticed a bright pink laptop and pulled out my Digi-device.
'I've tried this before and it doesn't work, so why do I have a feeling it'll work this time?'
"Digi-port open!" I shouted and everything went black.
**************************************************************** ***********************
Please review. I noticed that some people wanted longer chapters and even though this is short, I swear that the next chapter will be much longer. I know that Ruki is a bit out of character right now but I am working on that little detail. Also, I got a little review from Cynthia, Piedmon's lady (on FF.Net):
Question. Why are you calling your fanmade character by one of the names of the actual Tamers? This is in no way Makino Ruki. Not in the slightest. She's missing everything that makes her Ruki, not the least of which is Renamon, and a functioning brain.
Other flaws: not enough details. Why do people feel compelled to spit out five sentences and call it "done"? Has the concept of actually writing something that's got actual _descriptions_ and thoughts that are in character been lost somewhere? Did someone kidnap the concept and are they holding it for ransom? Writing little spurts like this is the work of someone who is lazy and just wants to be told how awesome they are, not someone who is serious about what they're doing.
I have said this before about things like this, and I will say it again: I have seen (and written) fanfic _outlines_ that are in more detail and more depth than this. Sketchiness can work for humor fanfics, but for a couple like this, you need _details_.
The punctuation also needs work, and the whole thing needs a competent beta-reader who isn't going to drool insanely because it happens to be a particular couple.
Why am I calling my character Makino Ruki? That's because it *is* her name. Oh, maybe you didn't see that little note about Ruki being a little out-of-character in the first few chapters? Why is Ruki not with Renamon? Because she's at school!!! FYI, I *am* serious about what I'm doing! But guess what? I'm also serious about my school work and my life! For the fanfic outlines thing, yes, I write fanfic outlines, too, and yes my outlines are much longer then Chapter 1, but this is only the first chapter and I needed this to be a basic chapter! About the little spurts, I'm a beggining writing and I'm only 12, which means I'm not that good of a writer. Not enough detail? This is only the first chapter! In order to make Ruki's character more like Ruki, should I make her swear or something?
Anyways, please review.
*************************************************************** *********