Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ A Life Mistake ❯ Mirror ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Son of a bitches! Get the hell out of my way!

I hate being delayed of what I want. It's very annoying.

Not as annoying as Kakarotto, but still, annoying nonetheless.

I believe it's been about two hours now, and these morons are still going after me. And more are still coming over the horizon? What is this? An American protest against me or what?! Yeesh, this is annoying. Stupid f'ing zombies and their stupid f'ing decaying bodies and their stupid f'ing eyes that are all colored different... I hate zombies. And I've never actually met one until now.

Silly, isn't it?

Who gives a flying fuck anyways!

Not these decaying morons, that's for sure.



This is seriously pissing me off.

If I'm cussing too much, then fuck you.

Yes, I'm just a little ticked, as you can tell.

More f'ing hours have past, I've flown across half of the world (mainly the Northern Hemisphere of the goddamed motherfucking planet) to get away from the moronic zombies, and guess what? Oh, just guess at what I found out.

If no one has been paying attention, which probably no one has anyways, then no one has remembered or even comprehended all the motherfucking assholic piece of cowshit that I have been going through for the past weeks since I met the "real" Kakarotto.

And I cannot believe I am talking to myself.

I am insane! Woo!!

There. I have admitted it. Can we get on with our lives now? Good.

And if anyone running around in my head hasn't picked up what tone I'm using in my thought-head-voice, it is called sarcasm. Learn it, my very smart friends for you lurk around in my head which is a wise choice on your part, because you will be hearing it a lot.

And I mean a lot.

So yes, have we found out what shit I just found?

If you answered that almost every single solitary motherfucking person inhabiting the entire planet has become a zombie with its own mind and wants to basically kill me for some unknown reason but I believe it has to deal with me knowing Kakarotto since the man has a death warrant on his little idiotic head, then please feel free to take some cookies and milk and congradulate yourself.

And if you feel like beer and hot dogs, it's on the other side of my brain.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have more zombies to destroy in Italy. They've infested the wine fields and are obliterating the delicious grapes of alcohol from existence. Technically, wine grapes are not a "food" food as in people eating them, but they are used in wine. But still. I'm fucking hungry right now. That's not always a good thing, isn't it?

Of course it isn't.

I shall kill now.

Hurrah.



... can anyone tell me what is wrong with this picture?

Okay, this is the deal. I'm tired after flying around the world and killing zombies and trying to find out where everyone in the world went to. The stupid zombies have destroyed every known food on this planet, so I am that damn hungry right now. If the zombies weren't decaying and they stunk like Bulma's food when she cooks, then I'd eat them right now. And, well, I'm out of enough ki power to obliterate zombies and make them into dust. Yes, I know that sounds stupid that I, a Super Saiya-jin, would run out of ki power, but I'm seriously thinking that someone else maybe behind all of this.

Probably the real enemies Kakarotto was telling about. Maybe they're just using these zombies as a forefront to scare and convert humans and just drain slowly yet surely all my ki power. So then the zombies can kill me and then who-knows-what will happen to Kakarotto.

Not like I really care for him.

And if my mind tells me otherwise, I'm going to scream.

And so I had to run across America, the last place I ended up in, since I didn't (and still don't) have enough ki power in order for me to fly and get away from them (even though they are popping up all over the damned place) and right now I am backed up against a wall which is so close to a cave enterance (which basically spells out my freedom) Yosemite Park in California of America, and a bunch of zombies are about to come and kill me and probably eat my brains and such as they do.

Now you see the wrongness and stupidity in the picture?

So yes, back to my current state which is awful and absolutely stupid. The zombies are surrounding me. I am out of ki power. I am hungry. I am tired. I am in desperate need of a piece of sanity. And I need to kill Kakarotto. But, hey, I've been wanting to doom the bastard ever since I met him, but guess how that goal is turning out?

While these morons are walking silently to kill me, I think about my family. Bulma, loud-mouth woman that somehow gets me to do whatever the hell she wants and I love her still. Figure that paradox out, cause I still haven't. Trunks, son that annoys me yet makes me proud. He learns well. Bra, teenage daughter that still plays with my hair and wants to cut it. Acts like her mother too much, but she's got my stubborness in there. I'm proud. Now my friends... Kakarotto is dead and so are his moronic followers. Okay, that's done.

As these zombies block my way even harder to get to the cave enterance, I look at how they are dressed. Well, they dress human. I think that the humans of the Earth actually became these zombies. How, pray tell? Who the fuck knows. It is something I'm trying to figure out, but could Einstein figure out the stupid theory of relevations or whatever the stupid fucking scientific thing is under such contitions anyways?! He wasn't being chased by zombies!! Sue me for wandering over the world trying to find "The Moron Who Sees And Knows All" a.k.a Kakarotto, thank you very much. It's not like I care for the idiot, I want to get the answers and then kill him.

Killing is so much fun.

Do things that I want always have to be a bitch for me to get or what? Yes, of course Vegeta, no one loves you and you are all fucking alone in this foresaken world called humanity. Look and gawk and praise me as I wallow in happiness. Yay.

Using whatever strength I have left, which is basically raw emotion (mainly anger), I scream in rage and use my fists as my weapons and my mouth. Everytime that I hit a stupid zombie, something rude emits from my raw voice. Such as right now, as I hit a zombie and shout, "asshole." Another hit, "bastard." And another hit, "motherfucker." Yeah, I need salvation from this shit right now.

Well I guess that someone up there must like me again, because I finally made it to the cave. As I run through the cave completely fatigued and feeling like my body is losing ki energy too much for my own good, I can hear the growlings and yells and shouts of the non-mindless zombies behind me. I can almost imagine the foam of hatred dripping from their mouths, wanting to probably eat my flesh or something like that. I don't remember what zombies are known for. At least their not vampires. I like my blood to stay in my body, thank you very much.

... fuck, I just had to choose the wrong cave, now didn't I? The cave hits a dead end all too soon, and I can hear the zombies just rushing after me. How fucking wonderful.

Excuse me while I rant.

What the motherfucking shit is going on here?! I just try to have a nice motherfucking routine day and this fucking shit happens within three fucking weeks and now here I am running away from zombies that I know I could destroy with a snap of my fingers but no! My fucking ki has to be depleted from me little by fucking little from fucking who knows where and now I'm fucking tired and fucking pissed off and I FUCKING WANT TO KILL KAKAROTTO!! But I can't cause I don't know where the bastard is and he'd fucking confused me with all his fucking ramblings and now I don't know what the fuck to do in order to get out of this fucking situtation and I really fucking hate this shit and I seriously want to fucking kill something!! And I fucking CAN'T!

My life stinks!

I believe I'll scream now.

"FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!"

I sigh contently. I feel better now for letting that scream of profanity out.

I glare and stand defensively, even though I know I don't stand a chance against these zombies with my depleted and still decreasing ki. This is so pathetic. I was once able to destroy a gigantic lot of them, and now I'm being chased by them. If I wasn't so tired right now, I'd cuss more.

The sound of their rushing footsteps grow louder at the end of the cave. It's pitch black from where I stand, but a huge beam of light from above the cave (which is so high up I can't even fly out of it, climb up to it, or even jump to it) showers over me. Great. They can see me now. Wonderful.

They're growing louder, and louder by the second. Sweat forms around my forehead and down to my brow. This is seriously pathetic on my part. Scared and unable to defeat a bunch of zombies that are numbered in the billions and still growing.

I will really kill Kakarotto to the point beyond death if I see his face right now and find out this has been all an illusion and he's here to pick me up and save me like I'm a little child.

If that happens, I'll murderize him.

Alright, here they are. They're about to surround me and kill me. I smirk. So what?! I'm the Prince of all Saiya-jin's. If I have to die, I'll die fighting. That's the honorable way, dammit.

One last thought before I die: Kakarotto, you are dead if I see you in the afterlife.

Three, two, one...

...

.....

.......

And out of the darkness comes millions upon millions and millions...

... of fuzzy, cute white rabbits.

...

.....

I'm sitting on the ground now, completely speechless. All this little white rabbits rush over to me and cuddle up. If I wasn't so paralyzed right now, I'd throw them off of me.

From zombies to bunnies. Someone must be pulling a joke on me.

Probably Kakarotto.

I sigh and scratch the ears of on the bunnies that sleeps comfortably on my lap.

This is seriously turning out to be one very, very long insane day.

I think this is how Alice felt when she was in Wonderland.