Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Shift ❯ Seeds of Memory ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five: Seeds of Memory

The universe would never be the same, never again return to the status it had held for countless thousands of years. Great and glorious civilizations, approaching their prime, were wiped out, and those in only the dawn of their existence, full of potential, were obliterated with the pointing of a finger. No, not since the horrific days of the Majin Buu era had such tragedy been witnessed in all the four quadrants.

"Send Son Goku to me, at once," a calm voice ordered, sending away an attendant. "I have a matter of great importance I wish to discuss with him." Drumming his fingers along the armrest of the hulking throne he was perched upon, impatient, the Supreme Kai heaved his body up from its seat and willed his lavish surroundings to mimic a garden environment. Bowing to obey his slightest whim, the chair behind him became a great stone bench, and the walls about him faded from view, replaced by the greenery of bushes and saplings. Overhead, the ceiling gave way to a beautiful multihued sky.

A creaking sound reached his sensitive ears as he fingered a strange white flower, and he turned his attentions behind him to the iron gate which guarded the entrance to the new garden-formerly a pair of sturdy, extravagantly decorated doors.

Kneeling, the Saiyan began humbly, "Sir, Supreme Kai, I beg-"

"Please, no, no, get up." He urged the fighter to his feet, extending a hand to the bench behind the two. "We've no time for such formalities, my good man." Goku stared a moment, then gave a curt gesture of acknowledgement and followed the god, taking a seat beside him on the stone structure. "Then…he is your son?"

A sad nod was granted him. "Yes…and even through all that he's done…he's still dear to me-he always will be, through anything. I guess that's one of the curses of being a father: you love your child no matter what horrible things he does."

"I see…" he said, not really seeing at all. "Then, I suppose you know of the force being prepared to stop him?"

"I…I do, but…" He hesitated for a moment, but the Kai pressed him to continue. "I didn't tell King Kai this, because I didn't have any kind of alternative, and we needed to try something…but this army you're gathering… it won't be enough."

"Wh-what?!" His eyes grew wide in fear and disbelief, and his voice crescendoed in pitch. "H-how can it not be enough?!"

Goku smiled grimly. "You underestimate Gohan's power, Sir. There just aren't enough decent fighters left in the universe…you can't stop him this way."

The god's eyes lowered to the ground, defeated. "This way…you spoke of an alterative-you have one now?"

"I think…I do. But it would call for a little rule-bending. I understand how critical this situation is, and that's why I need your help. He won't listen to me anymore; I've tried a dozen times, but he's shut me out."

"I may be able to assist, but… what do you plan to do?"

Smiling wearily, Goku revealed, "We have to let him see her."

The god's eyes narrowed in confusion. "See…who?"

"The girl who started this all, and the girl who will finish it. Videl Satan."

*****

He was dreaming. Again. This time, though…this time it was so real he would have sworn up and down that the dream was reality, and reality the dream. It was certainly a lot nicer that way.

"So, you just…" He grasped her hands, "Feel it, right in your stomach and…" He watched with close interest as her brow knit, showing her intense concentration. "…and bring it out!"

A faint glow burst into life, hardly enough to properly toast a marshmallow, and her eyes shot open as she gazed in wonder at her life energy, finally given a visible form. Just as quickly, though, it was snuffed out-her light faded from existence…

He gasped, but she just looked up, a bright smile plastered on her face, even hints of a blush crept up-she was happy. Sure, she hadn't gotten very far with that energy, in that life…but it didn't bother her, not like it bothered Gohan. She accepted it.

He didn't want anything to happen to that precious energy of hers, her life, but she'd just waved it off. He saw her as a beautiful china doll, meant to be weak, so that he could protect her for all time. She only wanted freedom. Whatever happened, happened, and who was she to frown at it? Better yet, who was he to frown at it?

The memory stopped, and he played it again. These were the ones he watched over and over and over…the ones with her, when they were happy. When he first met her, when he fought for her as Saiyaman, when she found out he was Saiyaman, when she met his mother, flying lessons…but there was one memory he never viewed. One he would do anything to forget. That memory…was the whole reason he was watching memories instead of making them.

Wait…wait…where was he? Looking around, he discovered he was no longer in control. This was none of his doing; a never-ending darkness stretched out around him-at least, he assumed it was never-ending, as he couldn't even see his hand before his face anymore. He twisted all around, searching in the blackness for…for…for what? What was he looking for? He'd known it just a moment ago, but now…

His question was answered by those responsible for the darkness. Before him, a faint gray dot appeared, small at first, then growing, brightening, into a doorway. There was someone standing in that doorway, and as soon as the figure crossed the threshold, the dark was no more.

Gohan stood stock still for what seemed an eternity, his breath caught in his throat, then his knees buckled, and he slumped to the ground, kneeling as if before some great god. Or angel. He closed his eyes, mustn't cry now…don't cry…may as well try to order himself not to breathe. Tears, of joy? No…sorrow-they were tears of pain and grief. They slid down and dropped to the ground, propelled forward as his chest heaved up and down. "I'm sorry…I-I didn't mean it…didn't mean to…"

"Shh…" It was just like in the memory; a voice so soft, yet strong, not rough or harsh, but leaving behind a feeling of permanence-that she'd always be there… She hadn't even said anything, and already she was lying. "You're sorry…shh, I know…I know…'s alright…" She ran trembling fingers through the shock of hair he sported, and he shuddered, crying out like a small child. Unable to hold himself back any longer, he lunged forward, enveloping her in his strong arms, wanting so badly to be weak then. She countered, still murmuring words of comfort into his ear.

They lingered this way for only a moment, when he pulled back to look her full in the face. Oh, her face…it seemed he hadn't seen it in years. He brushed a finger on her face, tracing her cheekbone down to her chin, and she clapped a hand over it, holding it to its place. She smiled at him, just like before…just like in the dream…just like nothing had happened…

"No…" He closed his onyx eyes once more, embracing their darkness. "It's not…it's not real…" He now recognized it for the dream it was, another taunting pseudo-reality. He knew he was still in the Saiyan pod, alone, blasting through space, waiting for the computer to wake him up. And Videl…Videl was dead.

"No, it's not," she corroborated. "It's not real…but it could have been."

His eyes shot back open, and he stood, meeting her gaze. They glittered back, but from malice or glee? Was she a demon, sent to torment him, or an angel sent to comfort? "Wha…Videl…"

She still held his palm fast to his cheek. "No one's fault…no one's fault…why Gohan?" Her eyes narrowed in question, and he broke, sobbing into confession as if seated before some priest.

"I-I wanted it back! This wasn't supposed to happen-it wasn't fair! You weren't supposed to…weren't supposed…I thought, that they would send you back, if I…" He trailed off.

"Killed?" she finished for him, and his eyes grew wide in protest, glistening with pent up sorrow and frustration.

"Everyone-they had to listen to me! After everything, everything I did for them, after all the things I went through…my whole life…why couldn't they just leave me alone?!" His question rose in volume, a scream of undiluted fury at the end, but she moved not an inch.

She gently smoothed back that lock of black that always seemed to linger in front of his eyes. "They won't do it, Gohan…no matter what, they can't. Too much has gone wrong." At the risk of sounding reproachful, she continued. "I died, Gohan." He began to shake his head, but she stopped him, "Yes, I got sick, and…I died. Understand it, they weren't hurting you, they weren't hurting me…it was what happens sometimes, it was all a part of life. All this…you're doing it for the wrong reasons." A pause…She opened her mouth to speak again, but looking upon his form now, sad, scared, eyes rimmed in red…she couldn't say it.

If he hadn't started this…if he'd moved on, perhaps even if he'd taken his own life…they could've been together again. For eternity, not merely some quick half-century that flew by in the blink of an eye-forever. Everyone eventually died, and Gohan would be no exception, no matter how great his strength, just as she'd been no exception. But…they would have been together.

As things stood now, this would be the last time she'd see him. Ever. Not in a few years, not even in a few hundred.

She would never see him again…At first, she'd felt sorry for him, for his fate, but now, thinking about it, she realized she was pitying herself. Her eyes hardened, an icy blue stare, quivering. She released his hand, begging, "Gohan…kiss me…kiss me now, please…"

A bit unnerved by the urgency of the request, but hardly one to refuse it, he leaned in and pulled her close, his eyes pulling him back into darkness as they slid shut once more. He saw…old memories again…but now they were her memories…her feelings, her thoughts, coursing through his mind. And laced in each one was a note of…sadness?

Remorse…goodbye…I love you, I always loved you, I will always love you…remember when? Remember?…goodbye…I'm sorry…goodbye, Gohan…

He opened his eyes to find that she had never closed hers, and still looked upon him with pity, pleading for…forgiveness.

And that was when it hit him, the moment when a cold burst of realization gripped his soul.

He would never see her again…his father hadn't answered him when Gohan spoke of joining him after death…because, he wouldn't be…

His voice was soft in the beginning, strained by disbelief, and he begged her to be lying. "No…no, no…nononononononon-"

"Gohan-Gohan, no-! Don't…don't-Goh-"

"NO! No-no, it can't! I-please-don't let it-"

"Please!" she was crying now, too, begging and pleading, pulling on the edging of his gi, he couldn't despair like this, not him… "Don't…Gohan…"

He raised his head to the blackness above, screaming, "No! You can't do this-I-don't…don't send me…"

He sank back to his knees, pounding away at the tear-soaked ground, as Videl looked on, helpless. "…I just want it back…please…I want…I'm sorry…" His voice trailed off, the vengeful heart he'd held replaced by a spirit of involuntary acceptance…it would never be the same, never like before…never.

He wasn't supposed to be here, you know. Right now, he was supposed to be at home, entertaining little Goten and Trunks with a pre-dinner spar. They would be laughing, smiling, enjoying everything life could offer them, wanting for nothing. Death? Hah, that wouldn't come to any of them for a long time, barring any undefeatable enemies, of course, but those didn't exist. Their daddies killed them all off. Grief? That was seven years ago, he'd moved on since then-they all had. The only aspect of his life he'd had no control over was the move to a public school education. Now…he'd give anything to be back there.

But he knew they couldn't send him back. He couldn't have that life anymore, he'd killed it. And no matter what he did, who he hurt, what he destroyed, it would never be enough.

Was this the same kind of grim acceptance exhibited by the survivors of the android terror in Mirai Trunks' world? Their loved ones had been killed, their world utterly destroyed and thrown into chaos…their lives would never be the same again-yet what could they do?

What could he do?

"Don't ever leave me…" he choked out, and drew her closer.

She placed one palm gently on his gi, right over his heart. "I won't…always, forever…don't forget me…"

He couldn't forget; he could never forget, not even if he wanted to. All he could do was remember.

The doorway was still open behind her, and she was pulled back through it, leaving him alone once more in that darkness. Was this his Hell? What his eternity would be-a never-ending series of goodbyes stretching out, out, out…from never to forever…?

But he still had the memories, and forever was a long time. He sank down into the cold, hard floor, and his eyes slid shut. He began to dream again…

"Hey, brother! Videl's here, can we play now, huh? You said we could play when she got here!"

"Of course, squirt." He ruffled the child's already messy hair. "Let's go. We got plenty of time."

Fin