Dragon Knight (adult) Fan Fiction ❯ Kirei ❯ Kirei ( Chapter 1 )

Kirei

By: Sam Baku

Rating: pg-13?

Disclaimer: *falls down*

Notes: None really… Nohiro, Shonen-ai, angst, roundabout logic? There will be another chapter as far as I know.

~*~*~

Kirei … no, more than that.

I like watching you sleep. You look so beautiful, like a moon elf… are there such things? You would think that after so many years of researching and studying, I would have learned, but I haven't and I'm stuck with meaningless things muddled in my mind.

Muddled… what an appropriate word. Those are my thoughts no use trying to figure them out. Thoughts… no matter how many times you try to sort them out and explain them, you can't, because no ones thoughts are grammatically correct, and worth any sort of translation to the norm of understanding, no matter what language, dead or alive.

But where was I? It's funny how so many ideas can become spirals of different things from one thing that nobody thought I could think.

Again why am I thinking this when I can watch you be the essence of calm? For once?

So beautiful…

You look like a sculpture of ice with the bliss of dawn shining though, yet covered in strong magic so you won't break, and forever looking fragile and out of place, and ready to break.

But your not made of ice or the sun or even the moon. And you like to argue that you are not truly even an elf. You like to fight and cry and permanently keep your self in pain, even when the chance of happiness raises her sweet hand to your cheek to caress away your tears, offering a sweet smile. I've seen it happen, that one time, that one woman if I may call her that, and yet you only offered her your sweet words, and left with me.

I want to hate her, for causing you pain, for stealing your love. For it was her name you muttered in the battle with the demon, for that little child- hiding behind a blameless exterior, that woman was.

`Tintoretto'

Why? Why why why?

To hide behind such a pretty façade? To give me pity for a black void? Hoping to give me fairy wings, and accomplish something in roundabout logic?

I realize why I cannot hate that woman. I know why. Perhaps since I found out, I've known.

Because I hate you. The way you make me feel.

And you know it, you've known. And you couldn't care less.

That is why I'm writing to you while you sleep. It's the one chance I have to finally be able to love you and not conceal it for the fact of comforts sake. To let it flow freely and mingle with the hate. To watch you when you're not crying in some sort of frustration, and calm, not ready or willing to kill any thing, including me, or any of the little creatures (cute or not) that may cross our path.

Are you horrified of my blood? Do you hate it? Hate the grotesque and coarse feel of it? I've apologized before but you called me an idiot. You don't even remember, you most likely don't even know the true extent of it.

And now I'm going to say good-bye.

Sumimasen boku no Tsuki elf

Kare kusa ni nekorobi Hitori nemuru yoru wa

Jiyuu dake wo mune ni itsu demo...

~*~TBC~*~