Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Body Switching Is Fun! ❯ "I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!"-Rune ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I own DK volumes 1-20, I own DNAngel anime, and I own my crazy, whacked-out muse, but I don't own Dragon Knights, nope(T-T).

 

Summary: Rune's turned into a Goth! And he's acting like an evil maniac psycho! And what's up with the demon army doing Yoga courses and taking etiquette lessons from Lord Nadil? An elf and a Demon Lord wake up one day and absolute pandemonium breaks out.

 

Body Switching Is Fun!

 

Rune was rudely interrupted from a wonderful dream concerning himself, Tintlett, and dozens of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups under a starry sky, by a loud voice.

 

"My Lord…My Lord, I apologize coming in unannounced…"

 

The elf scrunched his eyebrows in his sleep, and pressed his face further in his pillow, trying desperately to keep his dream from slipping away, but the voice was very persistent.

 

"My Lord, I would not awaken you if the matter were not so dire."

 

Rune gave an irritated growl as his dream completely drifted away from memory, and he was slowly brought back to consciousness.

 

"My Lord?"

 

The elf blinked a few times, some light touches of sleep still stubbornly clinging to him.

 

My Lord? Rune thought questioningly, I'll kill Thatz for playing his stupid joke on me this early!

 

"Are you awake, My Lord?" the voice came again.

 

The elf peered at the blurry image of the speaker until they finally became clear.

 

Then Rune shot upwards and out of bed, his senses springing fully awake in an instant.

 

"YOU!" he yelled in shock and surprise.

 

For the voice belonged to none other than one of Lord Nadil's second-in-command, Shydeman.

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Lord Nadil grinned in fiendish pleasure in his sleep, at his dream of complete world domination and the Dragon Tribe bowing at his feet, while he gave his trademark evil laugh.

 

"Mwahahahahahaha!" he laughed out loud unknowingly, "Yes, I'm so nasty, I'm so cool! The world is mine, yep I rule!"

 

"WHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, MAN, THAT WAS AWESOME! DID YOU HEAR THAT, RATH?"

 

The Demon Lord was snapped out of his reverie abruptly, and woke up furious, ready to give those who dared entered his chambers unannounced a painful lesson. He was halted, however, by the sight of two people he didn't expect to see in front of him.

 

"Hey, Rune," Thatz spoke with a smirk, resting one arm on Rath's shoulder, "You know how I made you go to counseling sessions awhile back? Well, I think it's time you had some more therapy!"

 

"HOW CAME YOU HERE, VILE CURS?" Nadil cried, springing out of bed, taking a fighting stance.

 

Thatz gaped for a second, before smiling lopsidedly and turning to Rath to say, "You know, I think he's still mad about us leaving him tied to that tree with the orge and the giant scissors."

 

"ARE YOU TOYING WITH ME, DRAGON SCUM?" the Demon Lord hissed, irked that his enemies felt confident enough to act like he wasn't a threat to them.

 

"Um, Rune," Rath said a bit hesitantly, "Could you do your histrionics some other time? We have swordsmanship lessons soon, and I want to eat breakfast first."

 

"No! No! I wanna see where this is going!" Thatz said beaming, "So, what's up, elfy? Got jiffed by your girlfriend? Ooh! Or didya sprain your pinky brushing your hair?"

 

"HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME, VERMIN!" Nadil roared, his rage rising.

 

This set Thatz off on another laughing spree, to which he resulted in doubling over with tears streaming down his face.

 

"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DUDE, SOMEONE PMSING! LOL, RUNE YOU'RE A RIOT! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

 

Rath didn't even blink, but merely turned and began to walk out of the room, saying over his shoulder, "Talk to me once your hissy fit is over, 'kay, Rune? You're difficult to be around in these moods."

 

Thatz followed, holding his middle and wheezing, "DUSIS! I HAVEN'T LAUGHED THIS HARD SINCE KITCHEL'S NOSE WAS BROKEN BY TETHEUS SLAMMING A DOOR IN HER FACE! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

Nadil still retained his fighting stance long after the two's footsteps had faded down the hall way. The Demon Lord was very confused. He had woken up to his foes who had the perfect chance to defeat him, yet they treated him like a joke and left. What was going on? And why did they keep calling him Rune? Wait…wasn't Rune the name of that annoying elf turned Dragon Knight? But why would they insist he was him unless…

 

The Demon Lord dashed to the nearest mirror in the room and stared at himself.

 

A split second later, the whole Dragon Palace was shaken and vibrated with a shocked, shrill scream:

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M A BLOND!"

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED!" Rune shrieked, clutching his hair in a panic, "I BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"

 

"Are you…feeling well, My Lord?" Shydeman asked, giving the elf an odd glance and reaching out towards him hesitantly.

 

"WAAAAAAH! KEEP AWAY, EVIL YOKAI! YOU CAN'T BREAK MY SPIRIT! TAKE THIS!"

 

Shydeman only had time to blink, before he was knocked backwards off his feet by Rune's hard-packed punch to his nose.

 

The elf flung himself over the Yokai's fallen body and crashed through the room's doors into the hallway, where he began his desperate flight to find a way out of the mess he was in.

 

WHAT'S GOING ON? Rune cried in his head as he raced along, WHY AM I HERE AND WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED?

 

The elf jarred his brain, trying madly to recall anything odd last night, but nothing out of the ordinary stood out. It had been a usual chaotic evening in the Dragon Castle. Rune had attempted to eat dinner in peace, however Thatz and Rath, seated on either side of him, jousting with their forks in a mock-battle in front of him, proved to be a little difficult. And when a half-digested piece of food had splashed into his drink as a result of Ruwalk choking in shock when one of the maids explained that she had given his teddy-bear Goo-bah away to charity, the elf had turned and drank Rath's, as the maid was far too busy trying to save her life from a now slightly-insane Yellow Dragon Officer. Rath hadn't even noticed, as he was far too busy trying to sneak what he thought was discreet, subtle glances at Cesia while she chatted with Kitchel, who was busily patting her mouth with a napkin, so no one would notice her drooling over Tetheus who was adamantly ignoring her. Yes, as crazy as the evening had been, nothing explained why when the elf went to bed in Draqueen, he awoke the next morning in Kanailda.

 

Rune was so busy pondering the laws of physics, that he didn't even notice someone was in front of him until he collided smack-dab into them.

 

"OW!" Rune yelped as he tumbled to the floor.

 

"Oh, Your Almighty Evilness!" came a surprised voice, "I am sorry!"

 

The elf took the hand that was offered next and then was sholted in shock again as he came face-to-face with Sabel.

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Rune yelled in surprise, instinctively thrusting out his hand and summoning, "WATER!"

 

Silence.

 

Nothing.

 

"Um, what are you trying to do, My Lord?" the water demon inquired questioningly.

 

Rune was absolutely livid, "WHAT IN DUSIS? WHERE ARE MY POWERS? I CAN'T EVEN DRENCH A GUY IN SOME WET STUFF? WHAT KIND OF NIGHTMARE IS THIS? WAH! I WANNA GO HOME! I DON'T CARE IF THATZ AND RATH DO DRIVE ME INSANE! HELP, FATES OF LIFE, HELP!"

 

"My Lord?" came another voice, slightly nasally, as Shydeman appeared, clutching his now-swollen nose, "Are you alright?"

 

"YOU THINK THIS A GOOD ENOUGH TRICK TO MAKE ME SUBMIT TO YOUR CRUEL WHIMS OF TORTURE?" the elf shouted, feeling like the world was spinning at a hundred times per second, "YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! EVEN WITHOUT MY POWERS, I AM OF THE FORCES OF LIGHT AND THEY ALWAYS WHUP THE BAD GUYS' ASSES IN THE END!"

 

"What is His Almighty Demonishness talking about?" Sabel asked Shydeman.

 

"I do not quite know," the pale-haired Yokai said, speaking as if the elf were not there, "I think perhaps last evening's Complete World Domination party over-excited his system a little too much. I think it would be best if we returned him to his chambers to rest some more."

 

"AHA!" Rune crowed in triumph, pointing a finger at the two Yokai emphatically, "I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOUR LITTLE CODE! I KNOW WHAT 'RETURN HIM TO HIS CHAMBERS' MEAN! YOU WANT ME UNCONSCIOUS SO YOU CAN MAGICALLY SEARCH MY MIND FOR INFORMATION THAT CAN BE USED AS AN ASSULT AGAINST THE DRAGON TRIBE! WELL, IT WILL NEVER WORK! MY WILL-POWER IS STRONGER THAN IT APPEARS!"

 

"He seems to be suffering from the delusion that we are the enemy," Shydeman stated to the water demon, "Let's just be real careful with him."

 

"THAT'S RIGHT! TRY AND KEEP UP THIS LITTLE 'GOOD COP' CHARADE!" the elf yelled, "IT WON'T HELP YOU WITH YOUR QUEST OF EVIL!"

 

"Now, my Lord," Shydeman said, moving towards Rune slowly, "Let's go back to your room for another one of your remarkable sessions of planning the catastrophic chaos of the world's destruction and ruin."

 

"HEY, DON'T TRY ANY MOVES ON ME!" the elf snarled as he backed up unknowingly into Sabel.

 

"GOT HIM!" the green-haired demon shouted, bringing his arms around Rune's front.

 

"WAH, LET GO OF ME, EVIL YOKIA!" the elf screeched as he kicked his legs and struggled furiously.

 

"My Lord!" Shydeman cried, latching onto Rune and helping Sabel haul him along, "I insist-this is for your own good!"

 

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" the elf shrieked as he was tossed back into the same chambers he had woken up in.

 

The door was quickly shut and locked behind him. The elf could hear the two Yokai's voices outside it.

 

"Lord Shydeman," Sabel said, "Is Lord Nadil going to be alright? Should we tell the others?"

 

"No, Sabel," Shydeman's voice replied, "I am sure that this is just a nervous episode. Lord Nadil is probably overly-anxious about crushing the Dragon Tribe and taking over the world, and all the stress has gone to his brain. I am sure if we leave him alone and let him rest, he will return to the same evil, nasty, cruel, Demon Lord we all love."

 

The voices began to fade as their owners moved away.

 

"I hope you're right."

 

"So am I, Sabel."

 

Then there was silence.

 

Rune stayed where he had fallen, his mind reeling in confusion. Why was he in Kanailda? Why did the Demon Lord's followers not imprison and torture him? Why did they seem concerned about him?

 

Why did they call him Nadil?

 

The bottom seemed to drop out of the elf's stomach everything all came together. Springing up, he dashed over to the nearest mirror he could find and looked at the person he already knew he would see.

 

Lord Nadil's face stared back at him.

 

"So," Rune whispered in fear and horror, "If I'm here, then where is-OH MY GOD!"

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"Uh, Rune?" Rath inquired as the elf joined everyone at the dining table for breakfast, "Are those my clothes you're wearing?"

 

"FORGET THAT!" Thatz yelled, after almost choking on his drink, "WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A GOTH?"

 

Rune, or rather Nadil, who was dressed entirely in black, accented in silver jewelry; his eyes lined with kohl and his lips painted black, gave them all a glare-like stare.

 

"Got a problem with my attire?" he asked in an odd-sounding deep voice.

 

"Well, usually Rath's the one who dresses up like the Grim Reaper!" Thatz laughed loudly, earning him an elbow in the jaw from the black-haired young man.

 

"Well, perhaps I decided to turn a whole new leaf," the Demon Lord said, smiling sinisterly, then cackling like he knew something they didn't, "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

 

"Man, I knew Alfeegi would take over him completely one day," Thatz sighed, "Dude, you think Tintlett is going to like the new you?"

 

"Who?" Nadil inquired, but was interrupted by a shocked exclamation at the dining room's entrance.

 

"RUNE?"

 

The three Dragon Knights turned around to see Tintlett, Kitchel, and Lim-Kana gaping at the elf.

 

"Rune?" Tintlett questioned unsure, "Is that you?"

 

"Rune, yep, that's me!" Nadil snickered as if a joke had been said.

 

A second later, the Demon Lord was no longer amused as he was yanked up by one pointed ear, by the wavy, blonde-haired girl who shook him, shrieking, "WHAT DID YOU DO? GET OUT OF THOSE CLOTHES THIS INSTANT! WHERE'S THAT INNOCENT, PURE AURA THAT MAKES ME JUST WANT TO JUMP YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF BONDAGE SLAVE!"

 

Nadil never had time to retaliate before the blonde-haired girl was flung aside and he was slammed onto the floor with a lap-full of a girl with fuschia-colored hair.

 

"DON'T LISTEN TO HER RUNE-KUN! YOU LOOK EVEN MORE HOTTER THAN BEFORE! OMIGAWD, THE THINGS YOU DO THAT TURNS ME ON! YOU ARE LIKE ABSOLUTELY DROOLICIOUS AND HUNKACIOUS! LET'S GO TO MY ROOM AND PROVE OUR LOVE!"

 

A split second later, the girl was bodily yanked off the Demon Lord by the blonde-haired girl, who slapped her across her face, "KEEP AWAY FROM MY ELF, YOU LITTLE TART! I WAS WITH HIM FIRST!"

 

The fuschia-haired girl kneed the other in the stomach, then wrestled her to the floor, crying, "YOU DON'T WANT HIM NOW! I DESERVE HIM MORE THAN YOU DO, BECAUSE I LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS, NOT WHAT I WANT HIM TO BE!"

 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" the blonde-haired girl screeched, clawing at the other's face, "DIE, BOYFRIEND-STEALER!"

 

Then a cat-fight broke out as the two tried to strangle each other on the floor.

 

Nadil gaped at the scene, his mind dimly registering the fact that the fuschia-haired was that demon-turned-faerie traitor Lim-Kana and the other obviously, the elf's girlfriend.

 

A voice nearby brought him out of his astonishment.

 

"So, really Rune-san, 'sup with your outfit? Trying to intimidate the Dragon Fighters at your swordsmanship lesson? I think you did that already without the Goth stuff."

 

The Demon Lord tore his gaze away from the two squabbling girls and latched his eyes onto another girl-this one with shocking pink hair. Nadil sincerely hoped she didn't have an obsessed crush on him as well, although truth be told, he was amazed that the elf was this popular with the ladies.

 

"Kitchel, why do you even try and ponder Rune's mind?" Thatz stated, "You shouldn't be surprised by anything he does. He's Rune. Nuff said."

 

Obviously, the elf had a notorious, infamous reputation as well, the Demon Lord assessed shrewdly with narrowed eyes. Hmmm, perhaps pretending to be the Water Dragon Knight, while he spied on the Dragon Tribe to find their weakness so he could flatten them into the ground later on, wouldn't be as hard as he thought.

 

Suddenly Nadil felt an intense surge of powerful magic enter and fall down upon the room's occupants. Though he was sure, the others must have felt it too, no one acted like it was out of the ordinary. The Demon Lord turned to see what was the cause of it, though he was sure he already knew. Sure enough, he was rewarded with the sight of Cesia making an appearance.

 

Nadil snarled inwardly. How dare the girl be so ungrateful for having been taken care by him all her life, and change sides at the first opportunity! She would pay. Her and all her new friends.

 

"Oh my, Rune, is that you?" Cesia asked stepping up in front of the Demon Lord to peer at him closely, and Nadil stiffened wondering if she could sense who he really was.

 

The girl continued to stare at him for a few more seconds before slowly breaking out into a grin and saying, "I think Rath finally has managed to corrupt you! Hahahaha! So, tell me, do you feel like acting an immature, spoiled child?"

 

The Demon Lord supposed the statement was an inside joke, because everyone began laughing like she had said something hilariously funny. Everyone except Lim-Kana and Tintlett who were decking each other out on the floor screeching and shrieking violent curses.

 

And Rath, who crossed his arms over his chest and said huffily, "I do not act like a child!" Of course, he stomped his foot and pouted when he said this, thus only affirming the statement and make everyone laugh harder.

 

"Are you three finished with your meal?" came a deep, monotone voice near the entrance, and Nadil and everyone turned to see a tall, black-haired man with an expressionless face standing in the open doorway, "You better hurry along to my swordsmanship class before Alfeegi is after your blood for ruining his schedule."

 

"TETHEUS-SAMA!" Kitchel screamed streaking towards him, her eyes on fire.

 

The dark-haired man's face changed bright red as he sweatdropped profusely and fled out of the room like a madman was after him.

 

"COME BACK, TETHEUS-SAMA!" the pink-haired girl cried as she chased the man down the hallway, a fiercely determined expression on her face.

 

The Demon Lord was aware of his left eye twitching spontaneously as everyone continued conversation as if nothing had happened and Tintlett and Lim-Kana each were trying to break one of the other's body parts.

 

However, Nadil was still to learn yet of the Dragon Tribe's chaotic lives.

 

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL STILL DOING IN THE DINING ROOM AT 9:15?" shrilled a high-pitched hysterical voice, belonging to a certain White Dragon Officer.

 

"CRAP, IT'S ALFEEGI!" Thatz yelled, his scarred face draining of color, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

 

The Demon Lord found himself grasped by the arm and hauled out of the room along with the other two Dragon Knights, down several corridors, after leaping over the still-fighting girls on the floor.

 

Meanwhile a fuming Alfeegi on the warpath was hot on their trail, a mallet at the ready, shrieking at them insanely, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DONE EATING AT 8:55, GIVING YOU FIVE MINUTES TO GET TO YOUR SWORDSMANSHIP CLASS THAT STARTED AT 9:00! NOW YOUR'RE ALMOST TWENTY MINUTES BEHIND SCHEDULE WHICH WILL MESS EVERYTHING ELSE ON THE AGENDA UP AND I WILL HAVE TO MAKE LAST MINUTE CORRECTIONS WHICH I NEVER GET DOWN RIGHT AND NOTHING WILL BE AS ORDERLY AS I ORIGINALLY CONDUCTED! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT FOR RUINING THE NORMAL ROUTINE OF THIS CASTLE!"

 

"What normal routine?" Rath muttered as the group sped down the hallway, attempting to escape their fate.

 

"I HEARD THAT, YOU VAGABOND!" Alfeegi screamed, his rage reaching a new peak, "YOU'RE FIRST, LITTLE MAN!"

 

Then again, perhaps trying to find a weakness in the Dragon Tribe would be more difficult than Nadil had first thought. After all, how could anyone defeat his own enemy, if he couldn't even understand them?

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Rune was busy laughing his head off. And scheming a plan so deceitfully deceptive that one could wonder if being in Nadil's body for an extended period of time rubbed off on you.

 

It had started when the elf had started rummaging around the Demon Lord's room out of sheer boredom after being locked in for a couple of hours.

 

Then he discovered…The Diary.

 

He though it was some sort of spell book, with incantations of curses and whatnot, so to say he was surprised when he opened it and read the first page, was in understatement.

 

Caught between sadistic amusement and absolute mortification seemed the right choice of words.

 

Dear Diary,

 

Life is SO CRUEL! I just learned that about 3/4ths of my demon army only joined me because they thought I was some guy whose called Phantom Thief Dark. Apparently he wears black and has purple hair too. Well, if wasn't bad enough to find that out, my henchmen said they would remain with me if I could sprout wings and fly like their Dark idol. Well, because this artist and story-writer, Mineko Ohkami insisted that I do have wings, I went to the top of the main stairway in my Palace of Drakness and Evil and flung myself out into space with everyone watching. Not only did I discover that I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT have wings and can fly, but that it REALLY hurts to break your tailbone. After all, I couldn't very well land on my GORGEOUS, HUNKACIOUS face, now could I? A bad guy's SO MUCH MORE intimidating when he's DASHINGLY HANDSOME! Anyway, turns out my demon army decided to stay with me after all, not because I reminded them in any way of Dark, but because they said laughter was good for the heart and they wanted to keep their health up. I WISH EVERYONE WOULD STOP SPEAKING SO CRYPTICALLY! I'D LIKE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE MEAN SOMETIMES! (Sigh), all this stress making me hungry! Now I have to remember where I hid my secret stash of blueberry jam and chocolate! CURSE IT ALL! SOMETIMES BEING AN ALMIGHT EVIL RULER HAS ITS DOWNSIDES! I can't eat sweet confectionaries in front of my henchman and have to pretend I love that disgusting human meat instead, all because "that's what bad guys do"! NOW, I'M GOING TO GET FAT, STUFFING MY FACE OUT OF SIGHT! IT'S NOT FAIR! I KNOW THIS IS THE DRAGON TRIBE'S FAULT SOMEHOW! EVERYTHING ALWAYS IS!

 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO A Frustrated Dilly

 

P.S. WAH! I'VE JUST REALIZED I LOST MY WATER LIGHT DOLL AGAIN! NO, MISS SHNOOKUMS, COME BACK!

 

Rune had stared blankly at the entry for several seconds after finishing, before he broke out into hysterical laughter, and fell off the Demon Lord's bed that he was sitting on.

 

Right after that, the elf had thought up a scathingly brilliant idea that was so frighteningly evil that he could hardly wait to try it out.

 

After all, if one is stuck in a bad situation, why not make the best out of it.

 

Or make it really hard for others to forget.

 

"My Lord?" came a voice suddenly on the other side of the room's locked doors, and Rune grinned his infamous crocodile smile.

 

Now, the elf though, his insides quivering with excitement, Let the games begin! WHAHAHAHAHA!

 

A/N: 'ELLO, MATES! This was originally gonna be a really long one-shot, but hey, I'm lazy, and it would take forever to get this all done at once. Plus, if you review, I'll get inspired faster! So, LOL! I hope you enjoyed this! There seems to be a lot of body-switching fics floating around. I decided, what the heck, why not join 'em? So, what is Rune's evil plan, and what torture's will poor Lord Dilly go through at the merciless hands of the Dragon Tribe? And how did this whole situation occur?

 

Stayed Tune Next Time For: A Nose-Bleeding Kitchel, A New Rune Which Acts Like Thatz, A Suspicious Water, And Lord Dilly Baffling His Henchmen With Mediation Skills!

 

Schinckledooger here with her signature maniacal laugh:

 

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!