Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Counseling Sessions ❯ Counseling Sessions ( Chapter 1 )

<Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Knights, only this crazy, catastrophic, insane, wacked-out fic, which jumped into my head when I was trying to study for my History exam. If I did own Dragon Knights, Kai-stern and Alfeegi would be alive, Nadil would be mutilated beyond recognization, Cesia would be killed off, Rune would be my personal servant, and Rath would be chained to a wall in my room. ROWR!!!X3!!!>

Title: Counseling Sessions

Summary: In which Thatz attempts to get Rune therapy for his often lapses in temper. In which his plan backfires and all DK members are forced to forgo the same treatment. In which Kharl is the shrink. In which, complete chaos occurs.

Ch.1. In Which Rune Has A Breakdown-er…Breakthrough

"And how does that make you feel, Rune?"

Damn Thatz! Rune seethed, Damn Thatz to a thousand fiery hells and an eternity without food or treasure!!! The elf scrunched lower in his seat, crossed his arms over his chest and proceeded to glare daggers at the person to whom he was being subjected to such magnanimous torture.

"You’re being very negative, Rune," came the sickly sweet voice again, "Remember what we discussed about negativity?"

Twitch, went of the elf’s veins in his head as it popped out.

"One should never keep all that negativity inside oneself. It can create a buildup of resentful emotions, which will eventually break through the dam keeping it in, and cause the person to do or say things they may regret," the irritating, calming voice explained.

Silence. Rune merely kept up his act of drilling a hole through the insufferable man with his eyes. If he was hinting at the something the elf thought he was hinting at and seeking an explanation or repentance, he could FORGET it!

His therapist took his silence as an indecision of what to do.

"Rune, Rune, Rune," the alchemist sighed shaking his head in a way that infuriated the elf more, "It is quite alright to feel stressed out. A Dragon Knight’s job is never easy, and sometimes…when the pressure gets to be too much for oneself…" here the Yokai paused as if searching for the most delicate way to approach the situation, "One often…loses control. Isn’t that right, Rune?"

Twitch, went another vein in the elf’s head as he realized he was still very angry over the recent incident. That and the fact of hearing his name spoken by the alchemist in every other sentence annoyed him to no end.

However, what came out of the therapist’s lips next, sent Rune hurtling completely off the edge.

"But one must sometimes admit that it is not always others who are at fault. Sometimes, the person, themselves…are the ones who bring the occasion upon them. They simply do not want to admit that they are…totally inept."

That did it. Restraint flung to into the wind…again.

Rune leaped out of the too-soft chair to scream at the frustrating Yokai, "ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT ALL THOSE INCOMPOTENT PEOPLE HAVE MORE COMMON SENSE THAN ME?!?! I’M THE RATIONAL ONE!!! THE VOICE OF REASON-NOT THEM: MR. I-NEED-FOOD-EVERY-LIVING-MINUTE-OF-EVERY-SINGLE-DAY-OR-I’LL-DIE-AND-D ON’T-FORGET-TREASURE-TOO AND MR. I-SEE-DEMONS-EVERYWHERE-INCLUDING-SOME-POOR-PERSON’S-CHICKEN!!! INEPT?! I’M NOT EVEN THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE HERE!!! I’M LEAVING!!!"

"Sit, Rune," came the alchemist’s unscathed reply, and Rune, who was in the process of storming towards the door with the intent of tearing it off his hinges, was yanked backwards by an invisible force and thrown back into the chair quite strongly.

The elf found that he couldn’t be a muscle and was locked in place, and gaped at the Yokai who was smiling rather amusedly at him as he tucked back a small pouch of ash into the folds of his cloak.

"Now, Rune," Kharl said readying his notepad with a large feathery pen, "I find its always good to relive the moments that bother us the most. It helps sort out the reasons we feel a certain way about things. Why don’t we take a little trip back through your memories and see get the bottom of all this stress. I’m sure this will help ameliorate your feelings immensely."

Actually what the elf was sure of that would help ameliorate his feelings was if he had been able to bash in the crazy therapist’s smile until it was unrecognizable and throttle Thatz into oblivion. This was all his fault anyway!

"Well, Rune," came the alchemist’s voice using his name in that infuriating way again, "Are you going to let me know what’s going on and share with them the newest addition of your little escapades?"

Twitch, went yet another vein in the elf’s forehead as he struggled to get free of his invisible bonds.

"You know, Rune, obstinence is another area of interest we could delve into-"

"NO!!!" the elf shrieked, feeling his blood pressure shoot sky-high of the though of listening for another hour of the Yokai’s ramblings in an attempt to "cure him" of "stress issues".

Kharl merely raised an eyebrow and waited.

"FINE!!!" Rune screeched, swearing silently to hack Thatz into a tiny million pieces after this session was over, "I’M HERE, YOU DERANGED ALCHEMIST, ALL BECAUSE THATZ DECIDED TO OPEN HIS ALL-TOO BIG, LOUD MOUTH TO THE DRAGON LORD ABOUT HOW ‘STRESSED-OUT’ I AM OVER WELL…EVERYTHING-WHICH I MOST DEFINITELY AM NOT!!! AND THE ONLY REASON MR. HE-WHO-THINKS-WITH-HIS-STOMACH FORMED THAT OPINION WAS BECAUSE OF OUR LAST ROAD TRIP OVER DUSIS!!!"

The alchemist simply smiled at the elf and raised an eyebrow as a gesture to continue.

"LIKE I SAID BEFORE," Rune roared, his blood pressure rising to his head in a rather quick and fierce manner, "I’M THE ONE WHO THINKS RATIONALLY!!! MY SO-CALLED COLLEAGUES DO NOT THINK AT ALL!!!THERE WE WERE, ON THE WAY TO THE DRAGON CASTLE AFTER SEVERAL LONG DETOURS, I MIGHT ADD!!! THEN THATZ SEES AN ADVERTISEMENT FOR A COMPETION IN WHICH THE VICTOR WINS TWIN GOLDEN BLADES!!! SO, OF COURSE, HE WOULDN’T LISTEN TO MY REASONING AND DRAGGED ME AND RATH OFF TO THE STUPID TOWN WHERE THE TOURNAMENT WAS BEING HELD!!! AND WHEN WE GET THERE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE TOURNAMENT TURNS OUT TO BE?!?!"

Kharl’s smile widened. The Yokai had a feeling he was going to love what was coming next.

"IT WAS A BEAUTY PAGEANT!!!" the elf shrieked, his eyes glazing over in a fiery red and little flecks a spit flying out of his mouth in his fury. If he hadn’t been tied down to his seat by invisible bonds, he would have jumped up and raced off to plan the Earth Dragon Knight’s doom, " THEY HAD EVERY SINGLE GIRL IN THE TOWN COMPETEING FOR THOSE DUMB GOLDEN BLADES!!!"

The alchemist frowned, altering back to his therapist mode, "I fail to see why girls would be interested in winning weapons."

"THAT’S WHAT I SAID!!!" Rune screeched, "I TRIED TO MAKE THATZ SEE SOMETHING WAS UP, BUT DID HE LISTEN?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! INSTEAD HE ENROLLS ME INTO THE BLOODY THING! AND WHEN I ASK HIM WHY HE DIDN’T ENROLL HIMSELF AND RATH TOO, HE SAYS THEY’D NEVER MAKE IT, AND I’M A NATURAL! IT’LL COME EASY TO ME! ‘THOSE OTHER BROADS WILL BE FLATTENED BY MY GORGEOUS, FEMINIME APPEAL’!!!"

"I see," Kharl said settling back in his chair, scribbling what looked like a few notes on his pad, but really he was drawing doodles of a Dragon Knight clothed in a dress. Only this Dragon Knight didn’t have light-colored hair, but dark.

Rune, oblivious, raved on, "SO I ENTERED THE BLASTED TOURNAMENT JUST TO GET IT OVER WITH AND TO PROVE TO THATZ THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE PRETTIER THAN ME! UNFORTUNATELY THE JUDGES DIDN’T SEEM TO THINK THAT, AND I WON! OF COURSE, THEY MAY HAVE MADE THAT DECISION DUE TO THATZ PROMISING THEM A NIGHT WITH ME IF I WON!!!THAT GLUTTONOUS, SELF-CENTERED, GREEDY, THEIVING JERK!!!"

"Mmm," was the only response of the Yokai as he added wings and a halo to his doodle of the dark-haired Dragon Knight.

"SO ANYWAY, I WON THE STUPID COMPETION, AND THATZ IS ESTATIC WE’LL GET THE GOLDEN BLADES, AND RATH IS MOPING AROUND ‘CAUSE HE’S BORED, AND I’M JUST HAPPY THAT WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE, BUT THEN THE JUDGES THROW THE BOMB! THE TWIN GOLDEN BLADES ARE ACTUALLY SCIZORS AND HAPPEN TO BE OWNED BY THIS GIANT ORGE WHO LIVES OUTSIDE THE CITY AND THE REAL REASON WHY ONLY GIRLS COULD COMPETE IN THE TOURNAMENT WAS BECAUSE THE CREATURE LIKED TO PRACTICE HIS BARBERING SKILLS ON THE MOST BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF HAIR!!! AND THE TOWNSPEOPLE LET HIM ‘CAUSE THEY WERE AFARID OD WHAT HE WOULD DO IF THEY DIDN’T!!!"

"Oh dear," the alchemist stated without looking up, being very involved with his doodle, which now consisted of the dark-haired Dragon Knight walking on a cloud with a one- winged creature next to him.

"I WAS ALL UP FOR REVEALING THE SCAM AND FLEEING, BUT THATZ WAS INSISTENT HE GET THOSE GOLDEN SHEARS AND HOW ‘WE’RE DRAGON KNIGHTS! WE CAN TAKE HIM!’! AND RATH AS ALL FOR IT TOO, SEEING AS HOW HE GOT TO BATTLE A DEMON!!!" the elf seethed, scowling at the bad memories.

"I see. Tell me more," Kharl said, sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he bent over his drawing added details to the characters.

"SO I WAS LEAD OUTSIDE THE TOWN, UP A HILL, AND TIED TO A GOSHDARN TREE!!" Rune bellowed, reverently wishing for the umpteenth time that he was free and capable of hacking Thatz into a bazillion pieces, "THE JUDGES HAD IT IN MIND THAT I WOULD TRY TO RUN AWAY AND THATZ WAS ALL FOR USING ME AS BAIT, SO HE AND RATH COULD SNEAK UP ON THE MONSTER UNSUSPECTINGLY!!!"

"How awful," the Yokai commented not really listening, as he sat back and gazed at his doodle and started to daydream about the scene in the picture.

"SO I WAITED THERE, FULLY CONFIDENT THAT MY COLLEAGUES WOULD COME TO MY AID IN TIME, AND WHEN THE HUGE BRUTE FINALLY SHOWS UP WITH THE SCIZORS, DO YOU KNOW WHERE THEY WERE?!?!"

The alchemist was roughly pulled out of wonderful daydream, which consisted of the dark-haired Dragon Knight and himself dancing among the clouds in the sky to the tune of Sleepy Beauty, by the elf’s shrill, outraged voice.

"Oh, um…what?" Kharl asked, blinking himself back to reality and not remembering a thing the Water Dragon Knight had said.

Rune, not realizing his therapist had not been listening to him at all, answered his own question, "THEY WERE AT THE BLOODY TAVERN CHUGGING DOWN SO MANY DRINKS THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE DRANK POISON AND GAMBLING ALL OUR HARD-EARNED MONEY AWAY!!! IN THE MEANTIME, I’M TIED TO THE FREAKIN’ TREE, WHILE THE BLASTED ORGE STYLES MY HAIR!!!"

"Oh," the alchemist says, this time his mid truly focusing on the problem, "Is that why-"

He was cut off by the enraged elf’s shrieks, "YES, THAT’S WHY MY HAIR IS A MESS, UNEVEN AND BALDING!!! AND YES, THAT’S THE REASON WHEN I GOT FREE, I KNOCKED OUT THE ORGE WITH MY BARE HANDS, SNATCHED UP THOSE GOLDEN SHEARS AND RACED BACK TO THE BLOODY TOWN TO GIVE EVERYONE THE SAME HAIRDO!!! THATZ CAN’T COMPLAIN!!! HE DIDN’T GET ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT!!! I DID THE SAME THING TO EVERYONE!!!"

"Everyone?" Kharl asked in a faint-hearted voice, "The other Dragon Knight as well?"

The Yokai held his breath baitedly.

Rune scowled, "No! After the first drink, he passed out. He can’t handle alcohol very well. It wasn’t really his fault."

The alchemist let out a sigh of relief.

"THATZ, ON THE OTHER HAND, CAN STEAL RIGHT UNDER A KING’S NOSE WHILE INTOXICATED!!! THERE WAS NO REASON NOT TO BEAT THAT BEAST WHILE HE WAS DRUNK!!! SO I GAVE HIM HIS JUST DESERTS AND HE COULDN’T HANDLE IT!!!" the elf yelled, "SO WHEN WE FINALLY ARRIVED AT THE PALACE, HE GOES WHINING TO THE DRAGON LORD ABOUT HOW ‘STRESSED OUT’ I AM AND HOW I ‘CAN’T TAKE A JOKE’!!! DO YOU KNOW LORD LYKUELON ACTUALLY FOUND THE WHOLE SITUATION AMUSING?! HE EVEN SIDED WITH THAT LAZY LOUSE!!!"

"Oh, you must feel very betrayed," Kharl said, not doubting Rune’s word for a minute. The Dragon Lord always took something from people. Whether it was their trust or one they had affections for.

"YOU BET I DO, POOF-HEAD!!!" the elf shouted and the alchemist raised both eyebrows and sweatdropped.

" ‘I must agree that Thatz is right. You’re stressed, Rune, and it’s showing’", the Water Dragon Knight mimicked Lykuleon’s words, " ‘I think it would be best if you saw someone’".

"I see," the Yokai said in therapist mode again, "And…how does that make you feel?"

Silence.

Twitch, went another little vein in the elf’s forehead.

"UPSET!!!" Rune screamed, struggling anew at his invisible bonds, "LOOK, I’VE BEEN IN HERE LONG ENOUGH!!! IT’S BEEN GREAT, REALLY!!! BUT NOW, COULD YA LET ME GO SO I CAN KILL THATZ ALREADY?!?!"

"You seem to be harboring great resentment for your co-workers, Rune," Kharl stated, that irritating smile of his creeping back on his face.

"NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!!" the elf wailed suddenly, self-pity replacing his anger, "THEY ALL THINK I’M TOO UPTIGHT AND SHOULD LEARN TO RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY!!! I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN!!! DON’T THEY REALIZE IT’S ALL A MATTER OF PERSONAL OPINION?! THEY’RE FINE WITH LAYING BACK WHEN NOTHING NEEDS TO BE DONE!!! I LIKE TO BE BUSY ALL THE TIME!!! I THINK IT’S A WASTE OF LIFE TO BE BORED AND DO NOTHING!!! WHY CAN’T THEY JUST LET ME BE?! I DON’T GET ON THEM WHEN THEY’RE LAZING!!!"

Silence.

The Yokai stared hard at the elf.

And raised an eyebrow.

And smiled even wider at him.

"ALLRIGHT!!!FINE!!!" Rune hissed, " SO I JUMP ON THEIR BACKS TO GET TO WORK AND QUIT GOOFING OFF!!! I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT!!! ALFEEGI TOTALLY AGREES WITH ME!!!"

"Very well, Rune," Kharl decided suddenly, "I’ll let you leave-"

The elf’s heart leapt for joy.

"If-" the therapist added.

The elf’s stomach plummeted.

"You give me compliments for everyone in the Palace," the alchemist finished with relish.

Rune gaped at him for several moments. Then, "JUST WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO PROVE ANYWAY?!?!"

"That, my dear elf," the Yokai smiled, holding up a finger, "Is up to you. Perhaps, in thinking of nice things to say about people, you will believe them, thus bringing your stress level down."

" FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT HAVE A STRESS LEVEL!!!" Rune screeched.

Kahrl merely smiled, leaned back in his seat, and spoke a name, "Lykuleon."

The elf blinked, then realized he was supposed to give a compliment. Normally, the Dragon Lord would have been easy for him, but he was still slightly irked that he had sided with Thatz. Nevertheless, he tried hard to think up something nice.

"He…er, is a kind, just ruler…and uh…always tries to do the right thing."

When his therapist smiled, the elf realized he had dug himself into a deeper hole by admitting indirectly that he was supposed to get therapy. Rune glared at the Yokai.

"Tetheus," Kharl named next.

Rune sweatdropped and grappled desperately at anything that came into his mind.

"Ah…um…he…never speaks until spoken to or unless it is necessary?"

"Ruwalk," the alchemist shot out.

"He…er…is in touch with his inner child," the elf said sweatdropping, remembering the man’s fastidious obsession with his teddy-bear, Goo-bah.

"Alfeegi."

Rune had no problem whatsoever with that name, "OOH!" he gushed, "HE IS MY IDOL!!! THE WAY HE MAINTAINS ORDER WITH HIS MERE PRESENCE!!! I LOVE THE WAY HE INTIMIDATES EVERYONE!!!I WANNA BE JUST LIKE HIM!!!"

Kharl sweatdropped, coughed, and moved on hurriedly, "Kai-stern."

"The man is cool. ‘Nuff said," the elf said with ease. This was getting to be fun!

"Raseleane."

"She is a ruler who loves everyone and not herself. She is always thinking of others."

"Kitchel."

"She is determined to reach her goal. Nothing can stand in her way," Rune stated. I bet she’d kill Nadil in one strike if he was in the way of treasure! Heh, maybe we should hide some in his castle and set her lose!

"Cesia."

"She calms Rath down," was the nicest thing that came to Rune’s mind. He couldn’t very well say she seems like a normal person when her alter ego isn’t always taking over!

"Rath," the Yokai said in a very odd-sounding voice. Was it just him, or did Kharl look a little too eager?

"Rath is…uh…" Rune was going to say that Rath was a little crazy and acted like a baby sometimes, yet nevertheless was a great demon-mutilating machine that got the job done, however, the elf had the feeling if he said that, the alchemist might just pull out his pouch of ash and turn him into a toad, regardless of the truce he and Lykuleon had made when he had filled in for the job of the therapist.

"Rath has been like a little brother to me, and I’ll always protect him," Rune wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not, but the Yoaki looked pleased.

Then leaning forward, the poofy-haired therapist said, grinning like a Cheshire cat, "Thatz."

The elf’s blood boiled over, "THATZ IS A EGOTISTICAL, COVETOUS, GREEDY BUFFOON!!!"

"Now, Rune," Kharl admonished chiding, "That was not very nice. Remember, you’re trying to think of compliments, not insults."

Twitch, went another vein in the elf’s head.

"Here, Rune," the alchemist said, taking out a quill, various pots of colored ink and some parchment. He set them all on a tray, then handed placed it on the elf’s lap, "I’d like you to draw me a picture that represents your feelings about Thatz."

"And that’s supposed to help me?" the elf inquired incredulously.

"Why, yes," the Yokai answered confidently, smiling as he remembered his doodle of earlier.

Rune glared down at the blank sheet in front of him.

"Go on," Kharl urged.

Rune made a few angry lines across the paper.

"Remember you can leave after this,’ the alchemist reminded him.

The elf quickly scribbled a picture with a flourish.

"There," he thrust the parchment back into his therapist’s hands.

The Yokai stared at it, "Oh…Rune, you’ve drawn a…pig."

"It’s a hog," the elf corrected, "That’s what Thatz is."

"I see," Kharl said and stared at the picture a bit more, "And why is the pig-er-hog wearing a crown?"

"Because he’s the king of hogs."

"Is that because you see him that way or is that just how he is?"

"That’s just how he is," Rune stated, crossing his arms.

"Hmmm," the alchemist murmured, "And this girl in the background next to the giant bonfire with the stick?"

"Kitchel," the elf revealed, "She’s gonna cook him and eat hot dogs."

The Yokai raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Rune said, "She’s do it in a heartbeat, if it was possible! So…can I go now?"

Kharl was silent for a few minutes, then looked up with an evil smile. Tossing the his pad and the picture away, he leaned forward and questioned, "You’ve been here a long while, haven’t you, Rune?"

"Yes," the elf said.

"You are really angry at Thatz, aren’t you, Rune?"

"Yes!"

"You hate it that no one understands you, don’t you, Rune?"

"YES!"

"Want to get back at them and make them suffer, Rune?"

"YE-wait," the elf paused, "You’re not gonna hurt anyone, are you?"

"Let’s just say that they’ll be subjected to the same kind of treatment you have today!" the Yokai giggled.

Rune leaned forward too, and asked in a hushed breath, "Are you saying what I hope you saying?"

"Yes, Rune," Kharl smiled, "Counseling sessions…for everyone."

The Dragon Knight and alchemist stared at each other in silence for several seconds, before throwing their heads back and laughing insanely:

"BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*`*~*~*~*`*~*`*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Outside the closed doors, Thatz paled drastically as he heard the maniacal laughter ringing out through the Castle.

They’re scheming something! He thought in terror, Damn, I’m in trouble!

TO BE CONTINUED:eerie haunting music plays in background:

<A/N: HEHE!!! Geez, I hope someone actually reviews this! HIYA! I'M NEW and originally from fanfiction.net! So, I'll be bringing my fics here too! WOOT! I figured I’d do chapters with all the characters in DK, including the Yokai^^!!! O.k, next chapter: THATZ AND KITCHEL!!! RAH! RAH! REVIEW!!!

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