Dragon Knights Fan Fiction ❯ Lock ❯ Bored ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Heck, even the plot is hardly mine! Hmm... (scarfs two dozen cookies for comfort)
 
AN: (tears of joy) Oh my gosh, I'm cured! I am officially off my angsty-Angel-Sanctuary-fics funk! At least for a few days, anyhow. (grin) Wow, I'd forgotten that I could actually write funny things... Attention! This whole story is dedicated to the glamorous BulmaWannabe :) A whole lot of this came from her, especially the beginning... And I would never have written it at all if she hadn't been talking about a semi-similar DBZ fic she'd been reading... So, yup, this is her story. Enjoy, all!
 
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Chapter One: Bored
 
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“I'm bored.”
 
“I'm boreder.”
 
“No, I am.”
 
“No, I am.”
 
“Ug, this is boring...”
 
“You're right.”
 
“...You know `boreder' isn't even a word, right?”
 
“Yeah.”
 
Rath, lying on his back in the grass, twisted his head a little to look at Thatz. He decided that looking sideways from below at Thatz hanging upside down from a tree branch blowing bubble gum was having decidedly unpleasant effects on his stomach, and looked away. “We've really got to find something to do.”
 
Pop. “Crap, I think there's gum in my hair. ...Yeah, we do.”
 
Suddenly, Rath sat up, struck by inspiration. “I know!” Thatz fell on his head at this, but he paid it no attention. “Let's go torture Alfeegi!”
 
The thief sweatdropped. “Isn't that kinda, I don't know, dangerous?”
 
A decidedly evil smirk graced Rath's features. “Well, that depends...”
 
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In the center of the Dragon Tribe's kingdom there was a capital, and in the center of that capital there was a castle, and as such it was very large. It was very large even for a castle, really. It was composed of hundreds of rooms and closets and grand halls and secret passages, so that there were only perhaps a handful of people who knew their way around the majority of all of it.
 
Perhaps this was the reason why the two Officers had been foolish enough to allow themselves to be lulled into such an utterly false sense of security.
 
It was the voices that first alerted Rath and Thatz to their prey. They exchanged startled glances, seeing from each other's expression that they both knew there shouldn't logically be anyone else in this part of the castle. It was mostly just empty rooms and storage space for unwanted furniture and... oh...
 
They crept to the corner as swiftly as stealth would allow and peered around it and there it was. A miracle - not to mention a mischief-maker's dream come true. They smirked fiendishly at each other, then set about sneaking close enough to hear what was going on.
 
This part of the castle was mostly just empty rooms and storage space for unwanted furniture except for the Room. The two partners in crime had once spent an entire afternoon trying to get in to it, to no avail. The lock made Thatz violently ill when he tried to pick it, and blades and heavy projectiles alike rebounded dangerously when applied to the surface of the door - it was magiced shut quite solidly, in other words. Earth had refused to break through the surrounding walls, ranting about not wanting to get in trouble with whoever'd cast the spell. There didn't seem to be any outside windows. They had tried quite hard, obviously, but in the end dinnertime had rolled around and they'd forgotten all about it. Until now, that was...
 
Because now, the door was wide open. Because now, a warm and inviting light spilled out into the hallway, seeming to beckon them closer. Either that or it was the desire to hear what Alfeegi and Ruwalk were talking about in there that did it; whichever it was, they edged forward.
 
“Four pounds of powdered citrine quartz...”
 
“Mm-hmm.”
 
“Five bundles of dried argenious herb...”
 
“Yeah.”
 
Inside the room, Alfeegi cast Ruwalk a shrewd look. “...And two blueberry muffins.”
 
“Check.”
 
Even Rath and Thatz had to grimace at the incoherent shriek of rage that followed. “Ruwalk!” Alfeegi bellowed, with surprising force for such an effeminate-looking man. “Would it kill you to pay attention for two minutes?-!”
 
Ruwalk poked his head over the edge of the desk he'd jumped behind, only to jerk back again when Alfeegi brandished a no-doubt rare and ancient spell-book at him. “I'm sorry!” he said, somewhat muffled. Alfeegi growled, but Ruwalk decided that some things needed to be said. “It's just... ugh... We've been doing this for over an hour, you know, and we haven't found anything missing yet. And I'm kind of hungry...”
 
Alfeegi heaved an exasperated sigh, but he did put the book down. “I'm hungry too,” he admitted. “I guess it is about dinnertime... But I really wanted to get this done today. Some of the things in here are dangerous, you know.”
 
“But we don't even know for sure that whoever it was actually succeeded in getting in,” Ruwalk said, standing up just a little warily. “Plus, that was a week ago; you'd think that if they were going to do something, then they would've done it by now.”
 
Rath caught on first, and blanched. “Oh, no...” he moaned, from behind hands that had flown to his mouth in horror. Thatz looked at him like he'd grown an extra arm, so Rath dragged him by his ear back around the corner.
 
“You idiot - don't you get it?” he hissed. “They're talking about us! They know somebody tampered with the spell...”
 
“But we didn't take anything,” Thatz said.
 
“No, but that's just the point! Alfeegi's already gonna be mad when he finds out he did all this work for nothing, and if he finds out it was us - oh, man...”
 
“Wait, so does that mean it actually would've been better if we'd stolen something?” Thatz asked thoughtfully. Rath growled, and he laughed nervously. “Eh, never mind. But it's okay, right? After all, how would he find out it was us?”
 
Rath rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, Thatz! Remember who we are? The biggest troublemakers in the whole castle! He's bound to figure it out eventually! He probably already suspects us, and all he'd have to do to get our dragons to talk is offer them some food or something.”
 
Thatz shuddered. “Oh my gods, you're right... What are we going to do?”
 
Rath thought for a few moments, looking glum, but then a huge smirk suddenly plastered itself over his face. Thatz's eyes widened. “Well, obviously we've got to make it up to him. We'll do him a favor. Have you heard what all the servants say about Alfeegi and Ruwalk...?”
 
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“Six bags of carp bones…”
 
“Now honestly, what could anyone ever do with that many carp bones? What are you even supposed to do with carp bones in the first place?”
 
Alfeegi graced him with a withering glare. “Six bags of carp bones?”
 
Ruwalk sighed. “Yes…” He rubbed his stomach, and grimaced. “But, Alfeegi-”
 
“Shh!” Ruwalk arched an eyebrow at him. “No, I mean - did you hear that?”
 
Ruwalk rolled his eyes. “See, that's why we need to eat. You're hearing things-”
 
“No, it came from…”
 
They stared. Ruwalk merely frowned at the suddenly shut door, but Alfeegi overturned his chair in his haste to get to it. He rattled the doorknob frantically a few times, and moaned.
 
“We're not...” Ruwalk hazarded. “I mean, we can't be...”
 
“I left it in the keyhole... I can't believe it...” Alfeegi whispered, confirming the Yellow Officer's suspicions. Ruwalk thumped his head down on the desk.
 
“Rath! Thatz!” Alfeegi shrieked. “I know it's you!”
 
Outside in the hall, the pair traded awed glances. “He's good,” Thatz whispered.
 
“GIVE THE KEY BACK THIS SECOND!”
 
Thatz gulped nervously. “Um, I think you better hang on to it, Rath,” he said generously.
 
Rath stared at the key like it was a grenade with the pin pulled. “Er, no, you can keep it...”
 
“No, really, go ahead.”
 
“Oh, no, I insist.”
 
“I could never.”
 
Rath massaged his temples wearily. “Okay, so he knows it's us,” he whispered, as Alfeegi continued to scream in the background. “And he's gonna tell everyone once they find him, and they're going to make us give it back, and let him out...” He shuddered. “We've gotta get rid of it!”
 
Thatz sighed. “Damn... I told you we should've just gone to the kitchens...” Suddenly he beamed. “Oh, I've got it!”
 
Rath stared.
 
Rath stared some more.
 
“You are so stupid,” he muttered, sounding impressed.
 
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Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Alfeegi had sunk to his knees, one hand still weakly grasping the doorknob, with a dark aura of doom floating over him. Ruwalk knelt down next to him and rubbed his back awkwardly.
 
“It'll be okay... Someone is bound to find us...”
 
Alfeegi drew a shuddery breath. “I have... fourteen documents on my desk for Lord Lykouleon to sign. Fourteen. Not to mention several reports I have to make sure he reads... and Kai-stern's travel budget is all messed up, heh, again... And did you even know that the head chef quit this morning? If I can't find a replacement, there won't be anything to eat... the West Wing maids want pay raises, because that's where the Knights' bedrooms are... And-”
 
At which point Ruwalk clapped a hand over his mouth with a shudder. “And aren't you glad to have an excuse to not worry about all that for a little while?” he asked, smiling forcefully. “There's really nothing we can do about this right now - think of it as the most guilt-free vacation ever!”
 
Alfeegi glared at him as if that were the most stupid and inconsiderate thing he'd ever heard, and primly removed his hand. “When we get out of here, it'll probably be because the castle crumbled around our ears,” he deadpanned. “How about this - once we get out, you can help me fix everything, and see if you can tell me not to worry then.” He rested his head in his hands, a perfect picture of despair. “And what're we going to eat?”
 
Ruwalk gestured vaguely around the small storeroom. “Oh, there's probably something we can eat in here somewhere... maybe some... mushrooms...?”
 
“Or carp bones?” Alfeegi suggested dryly.
 
He grinned awkwardly. “Well, there're a lot of books in here, too - maybe one of them has spells for making food?”
 
Alfeegi stood with a resigned sigh. “You're right... We'll have to look through them. Keep an eye out for anything that might help us get out of here, too. Maybe someone will find us and hunt those brats down before we need it...”
 
Ruwalk sighed inwardly - trust Alfeegi to find the most boring thing possible for them to do - but he obediently padded over to a shelf and took down the first promising-looking tome. Alfeegi didn't notice how his fingers shook ever so slightly...
 
And so the wait began.
 
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AN: (cackle) Ruwalk-glomping-Alfeegi plushies for everyone who can guess what Thatz did with the key! Not that it's that hard... And I don't think you even deserve a plushie for figuring out what's wrong with Ruwalk ;) But what am I saying, I won't be stingy - complimentary plushies of your choice to everyone who reviews! (grin)