Excel Saga Fan Fiction ❯ Excel's Grand Love ❯ Chapter One ( Chapter 1 )

Excel's Grand Love

By Tama-chan

One day Across, the ideological group bent on world domination, meet

in the dark, damp secret location (the sewer system in F city, in the prefecture of F) .

"The world is corrupt! and do we know why it is corrupt?" Lord Illpalazzo asked as he pointed his gloved hand towards excel.

"Well, um, because there isn't enough beautiful people such as you Lord Illpalazzo. Oh, yes if there was a world filled with Lord Illpalazzos then this world would be truly grand. Oh Lord Illpalazzo! Your hotness!" Excel said while spinning around in a dance like fashion.

Lord Illpalazzo rested his beautiful face in this two hands, and shook his head at her response. He was then prompted to pull the velvet cord to send her down the trap she knew so well.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she screamed until she hit the bottom.

When she looked around she saw a thousand bandana wearing Chu Chus, with large switchblade knifes.

"Chu chu chu chu chu chu chu" the chu chus chanted in unison as the surrounded excel.

"No! No! No!" Excel screamed in horror. "Stand back or I'll make you pay!"

"Chuchu chu?" One of the Chu Chus responded with a sarcastic tone and a smirk.

"Fine then you leave me no choice!" Excel said. Then she whips out a picture of Shihori. "I know voodoo! And if you don't leave me alone I'll cast a curse on all of you! I'll make you be stuck with her for the rest of your lives!" she proclaimed.

This outraged the Chu Chus ! "Chu chu!" they shouted as they charged toward excel.

"Nooooooooo" excel screamed. "

"I hope she likes the new addition I added for her," Illpallazo said.

"I'm sure Senior Excel is," Hyatt said as she threw up some blood.

"Well, why Excel is having her fun, why don't we continue with the meeting?" he said.

"Yes! All hail Illpalazo!" she proclaimed.

"Well.....um.......damn! I forgot what I was saying! Oh, well it can't be helped now. Well, why don't we have some tea till Excel manages to get up here again?" Illpalazo stated.

"Why thank you Lord Illpallazo" Hyatt said.

He clapped his hands twice, and two Chu Chus dressed as French maids came out, carrying a small table. It contained an array of small finger sandwiches, and it had a lovely floral print pink tea set.

"Chu chu," The two Chu Chus chanted as they poured them tea and served them sandwiches .

"Well isn't this a delight?" Illpallazo stated .

They both laughed in unison, as the one Chu Chu dropped a cup of tea on his own head and scaled himself.

Excel heard there laughter as she reached the top of the trap. "Hmmmmmm? Wonder what's so funny?" Excel asked herself.

She peeped her head out of the trap door to see them cozily sitting side by side, drinking tea. Something about this upset her greatly, but she didn't know why.

"Why am I so upset? They're just sitting there enjoying each other company? They're just drinking tea, and laughing while I was fending of those crazy Chu Chus? It's not like I haven't been dropped down the trap a thousand times. Why in the hell do I care so much? And why does Hyatt always get my Illpallazo?" Excel pondered.

Both Illpallazo and Hyatt turned towards Excel and gave her a quizzical look.



"Why is senior talking like that?" Hyatt asked.



"I said that out loud?"

They both shook there heads in unison.

"Damn! Well...I ...um...have to get going to my new part time job......I'm working in a...a.....a......toilet paper factory....yeah...I roll toilet paper......Gotta go!" Excel screamed as she bolted for the door.

"What a strange girl!" Lord Illpallazo said.

Excel ran as fast as her legs could take her. But then she started unexplainable crying. And the faster she ran, the harder she cried.

"Why am I crying? Why do I care? You know Illpallazo has no feelings for you! Why do you care that he drops you down the trap? It used to be special to you! What makes this time any different? You're a fool! You know they would be so good together! Why do you even care any more?" Excel said to herself.

She finally collapsed down in an unknown alley way.

"You know he'll never love you; your unlovable!" she mumbled to herself.

She then past out, face fist in a puddle.