Fan Fiction / Zoids Fan Fiction ❯ Bandits ❯ Love, Crime, and Psychiatrists ( Chapter 12 )

HealerAriel: Hello! We are now going to discuss the striking similarities in the characters of both Zoids series! Here goes:

Bit Cloud and Van Flyheight- the Main Guy. His cocky attitude is strangely endearing; he pilots a Liger; he's cute as hell, and he's oblivious to the fact that the Main Girl has a bit of a thing for him.

Leena Torros and Fiona Alisi Lynette- the Main Girl. She's very pretty and likes the Main Guy, although she won't tell him so. Although you'd think the boy would get the picture since she's usually rather, erm, exposed in his presence (Fiona has them booby-holsters; Leena traipses around in front of Bit in only her bath towel)

Harry Champ and Thomas Richard Schubaltz- the Hopeless Romantic Without A Chance In Hell. He is openly madly in love with the Main Girl, and will try anything to win her heart, but she ignores him because of her affection for the Main Guy; you feel kind of bad for him because he's such a shmuck, and you know he'd treat the Main Girl like a princess if he ever got her, but you laugh at his failures nonetheless because he's a dweeb.

Brad Hunter and Irvine- the Really Cute, Emotionally Detatched Mercenary. He pilots a Command Wolf at first, but uses a new Zoid later on in the series; he loves money; he is outwardly a complete asshole, but is really a pretty nice guy underneath it all; he kinda likes the Really Cool Tough Chick, but won't admit it.

Naomi (I can't spell her last name worth a damn) and Moonbay- the Really Cool Tough Chick. She's beautiful and intelligent, and doesn't take anybody's shit; she's an exhibitionist, and you find yourself despising her because her body is SO much better than yours; she has a Gustav; she has an obvious thing for the Really Cute, Emotionally Detatched Mercenary, but since he IS so emotionally detatched, she doesn't know if he likes her back, so she worships him from afar.

Dr. Steve Torros and Dr. D- the Really Funny, Good-Hearted, Mad Scientist Figure. He's older than the rest of the cast, but manages to be less mature than them; he loves working on Zoids; he's very supportive of the Main Girl in all of her endeavors, no matter what they may be; he helps the Main Guy out a lot; he is a constant source of comic relief because he's so off-the-wall in everything he does.

The Backdraft Group and the trio of Raven/Reese/Hiltz (only counts when they're working as a team)- the Honest-To-God Bad Guys. They hate everyone, especially the good guys, and adore weapons of mass destruction. Yes, they are psychotic - how nice of you to notice.

Pierce and Reese (by herself)- the Repentant Villainess. Sure, she started out as a bad gal, but now she realizes that her choice to help the side of evil was wrong, so she leaves her group and goes off on her own.

Liger 0 and Zeke- the Sidekick. He's the Main Guy's best buddy, because the Main Guy is the only one who really understands him. Let's face it, the Main Guy would be nothing without him.

:::In A Class By Themselves:::

Raven (alone); Jamie; Leon Torros; Jack Sisco; Benjamin and Sebastian; Emperor Rudolf; Hiltz (alone)

HealerAriel: Yeah, those are the only ones without a stereotypical role to play. On with the story!

'No, this doesn't work,' Moonbay thought as she dismissed yet another outfit from her closet. She'd already condemned about fifteen, all of which now cluttered her floor. 'Why am I so desperate to look nice for Irvine?' she wondered. She sighed. 'Because he's damn sexy,' she answered herself, still rooting through the closet.

"You might work," she told a little red dress. Figuring it was worth a shot, she slipped it off the hanger, pulled it over her head, and looked in the mirror. The dress was skintight, showed quite a bit of cleavage, and didn't even come to mid-thigh. Considering the circumstances, it was perfect. She smiled at her reflection as she let her hair down and brushed it out.

'I wonder if he'll kiss me! This is sort of a date, after all.' She shivered hopefully at the thought. He was so gorgeous! If he really did kiss her... She couldn't even imagine what she would do!

"Irvine," she sighed, falling backwards onto her bed. 'Look at me,' she mused. 'I'm getting all ditzy over him again, and I don't even care.'

***

"Where are we going?" Moonbay asked. She and Irvine had been driving for an hour and a half, and the nearest city was a twenty-minute drive from the base - in the other direction (A/N- in case you hadn't figured it out yet, they've borrowed a car from the base).

"You'll see," he replied, almost smiling.

"Irvine, we're in the middle of nowhere," she pointed out. He'd even shocked her by dressing nicely and actually combing his hair, and now they were going to hang out in the wilderness? She decided to test him. "I don't think this has anything to do with that bet we made. I think you were just trying to trick me into a date."

"You think so?" he replied innocently. Moonbay nodded. "Well, maybe I was. What are you gonna do about it?" he challenged.

"Why would I do anything about it?" Moonbay asked, in a tone just as challenging. "I don't mind." Irvine raised an eyebrow at her.

"So, you like me, huh?"

"I didn't say that."

"That's what it sounded like."

"Whatever. Besides, why would it mean so much to you if I did?"

"You are so damn stubborn," Irvine laughed, finally stopping the car near a bunch of trees.

"We're still in the middle of nowhere," Moonbay informed, as he actually opened the car door for her.

"Yeah, maybe," he agreed, smiling and reaching out for her hand. "But I know something you don't."

"Do you now?" she asked, allowing him to help her out of the car. He nodded, and began to lead her through the trees.

"It's a lovely night, isn't it?" he said. Moonbay snickered.

"That was random," she stated. "And I realize I've been asking this for the past hour or so, but allow me to reiterate: Where are you taking me?"

"Don't you trust me, Moonbay?" he asked, flashing a charming grin.

"Well, I guess I do-"

"Good," he said, covering her eyes.

"NOW what are you doing?"

"Humor me," he replied, guiding her gently through the last few trees. "Now you can look," he informed, unblocking her vision.

"Oh," she breathed. They were standing on a cliff above a beautiful valley (A/N- if you've seen The Fellowship of The Ring, think Rivendell without all the buildings) with a sparkling blue-green river running through it. There was what looked like an ancient castle on a far hillside, illuminated by the full moon's silver beams.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Irvine prompted from behind her, taking her hands in his own and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I didn't know a place this...gorgeous...could even exist," she replied. "And I certainly didn't know you'd care about it."

"Hey, just because I'm a guy, I'm not allowed to know what is or isn't considered to be a romantic view?" he teased. "That hurts, Moonbay."

"But, you're so..."

"Callous?" Irvine offered, kissing her earlobe. "Unfeeling? Sarcastic?"

"Well, yeah," Moonbay admitted.

"Not always," he informed, cuddling her against his chest. "And you know what?"

"What?" she asked. He turned her around and pressed his lips to hers, and Moonbay felt like she might actually faint. 'He's kissing me!' she thought blissfully, as she wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. She'd been wanting this for so long, it was unreal! He pulled away and whispered into her ear,

"I'm in love with you."

(A/N- that was for my Irvine/Moonbay fans out there! See, Irvine can be romantic. Uh, not often, but.... What the hell, GO IRVINE AND MOONBAY!!!)

***

Raven plopped unceremoniously into an armchair while Alandria set to making dinner. Why the hell HAD he kissed her? Was he that desperate for a woman? He slammed his fist down on the armrest.

*What's bothering Master?* Shadow wondered, watching the young man curiously.

"Damn that girl!" Raven growled.

*Oh. So THAT'S what's on Master's mind,* Shadow decided. He walked up to Raven and cooed at him. Raven narrowed his eyes.

"Don't you look at me like that, stupid organoid," he snapped. "You think that just because whenever she's in the damn room my heart beats so hard I can't even hear myself think...I'm in love or something? Well I'm not! Stop assuming things!" Shadow sweatdropped.

*Not only is Master horny, but he's insane, too.*

"What are you yelling at that sweet creature for, you evil bastard?" Alandria called from the kitchen. Raven turned white. Had she heard him?

"What business is it of yours, bitch?!"

"Bitch?! Funny, that's not what you called me when you were groping me earlier!"

"I did NOT grope you!"

"Whatever you say, Mighty Raven," she mocked.

"Maybe I SHOULD have killed her," Raven contemplated. Shadow growled and shook his large, metallic head. "Traitorous organoid. You like her more than you like me?"

*I love Master,* Shadow reassured, bumping Raven's hand affectionately with his snout. *Female is nicer to me than Master is, but I could never love Female more than I love Master.*

"You damn stupid thing," Raven said softly, petting Shadow's head. A slight smile appeared on his usually sullen face. Petting Shadow was kind of nice. He wouldn't do it all the time, but it wasn't so bad. The organoid closed his big blue eyes. "Why do you like me so much, Shadow?" Raven asked. "I've never once been good to you. If you had any sense, you'd have abandoned me a long time ago." Shadow nuzzled his master fondly and cooed.

"Aww, a boy and his organoid," Alandria said teasingly, pressing a hand over her heart in a show of...somewhat false emotion. Raven immediately stopped petting Shadow. Alandria smirked. "Dinner's ready, Mighty Raven."

***

"So? Is my cooking satisfactory?" Alandria questioned halfway through dinner, really just trying to make conversation. Raven wasn't big on talking, it seemed.

"My ex-girlfriend's was worse," he replied. "You can take that as you will."

"I'll just pretend it was a compliment, then," Alandria informed. "So...you've actually had a girlfriend?" Raven looked up from his plate.

"Why is that so surprising?"

"Well, to put it bluntly, I'm absolutely astounded that any woman would honestly enjoy spending time with someone as perpetually nasty as you," she explained. Raven snorted.

"She isn't particularly the most sane of people," he said. Alandria nodded.

"Masochist?"

"You could say that. Hell, she only liked me because I scared her."

"She sounds like a real catch," Alandria laughed. "So, what happened?" Raven groaned.

"She started wanting to talk about our 'relationship'. Suddenly 'you and I' became 'we'. We were no longer 'Raven and Reese' we were 'us'." He rolled his eyes and shuddered. "I had to get away. But, she can't comprehend that, so..."

"You've been running away with your tail between your legs? How manly, Raven, I'm impressed and intimidated. So let's see; she's insane, she's obsessive, she's stalking you, and she can't cook. What did you see in her in the first place?" Raven smirked at her.

"She fucked me. Often."

"Ah. Should've seen that one coming."

"Heh. Well, not that I give a damn, but what about you? You ever had a boyfriend?" he asked. Alandria snorted.

"Yeah, right. I've spent the last six years making sure my little brother and I didn't starve to death," she replied. "You try stealing your meals from food stores in military bases. It doesn't leave you much time, especially when you factor in out-running the military boys."

"Where's your brother now? You get pissed off and kill him?" Raven asked, as though this were a perfectly normal thing to do.

"First of all, you have no sense of family values whatsoever," Alandria shot back indignantly. "But no, we made some friends a few weeks ago, and he's staying with them - at a military base, no less. I'd feel bad about leaving him, but I trust them to keep him safe."

"Why'd you leave?"

"I got bored," she replied, shrugging. "I can't stay in one place for a long time. It drives me crazy. So, I guess you and I have that fear of commitment in common, O Mighty Raven."

"You're deliberately provoking me."

"Hell yeah, I am. You kidnapped me, you pay the consequences."

"I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't been trying to steal my GenoBreaker," Raven snapped. "But I suppose, once a thief, always a thief."

"Oh, yeah? And what about you, Mighty Raven? There's a bounty on your Zoid for a reason. What did YOU do?" she demanded, glaring at him. Raven's eyes clouded over, and he stared down at the table, considering his answer carefully.

"I'm a murderer," he finally replied, his voice completely emotionless. A chill went through Alandria's body, but she covered it up.

"Who'd you kill?"

"I really don't want to talk about it," he muttered. Alandria thought she saw a new emotion in his eyes. Was it guilt?

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said, in a tone so gentle that it succeeded in thoroughly shocking Raven. Because, hell, nobody's ever nice to Raven... Only his parents and Van's dad, but they're all dead (A/N- sorry. I'm getting off-topic).

"Um...thanks, I guess."

***

"Van?" Fiona asked that evening. "Do you think Thomas is...okay? I mean, he wasn't at breakfast. Or lunch. Or dinner."

"I'm sure he's fine," Van assured, wrapping a comforting arm around her and kissing her cheek.

"I hope so. It must have been disturbing for him, seeing us...you know."

"Butt nekkid?" Mercutio called loudly from across the room, where he'd been preparing a large cup of cappucino for himself. How the hell he heard them over the buzzing of the milk foamer is a mystery that will probably never be solved.

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU ALWAYS HEAR THINGS I *DON'T* WANT YOU TO HEAR?!" Van demanded (A/N- didn't I just say that in essence like, five seconds ago?) of the young blond.

"Magic, dude," Mercutio replied, sitting down across from the new couple with his pure caffeine and smirking. "Actually, I saw Tommy-Boy in the shrink's office. Just figured I'd tell you."

"Well, damn, I didn't think Fiona and I being together would upset him so much that he'd need psychiatric help," Van said. "Sheesh, what a weirdo..."

"Thomas is very fragile," Mercutio said, struggling to keep a straight face. "Imagine if he'd walked in while you guys were actually doing it. He might have died." The boy started snorting with laughter at the thought.

"At least if he were dead, he wouldn't be able to walk in on us," Van grumbled. Fiona frowned.

"Van, that's a terrible thing to wish on Thomas," she scolded gently. "Besides, you got him back enough when you kicked him out of the room."

"Man, I'd have done more than just throw him out of the room," Mercutio said.

"No, I literally KICKED him out of the room," Van specified. "Mostly in the...er...soft area." Mercutio's eyes lit up.

"Sweet," the boy replied, nodding his approval. "Well, looks like Karly's the only Schubaltz who's gonna be carrying on the family line. Heh heh heh."

"Why do you say that?" Moonbay asked, as she and Irvine entered the room.

"Van mutilated Thomas's balls," Mercutio informed gleefully. "Because Thomas walked in on Van and Fiona's little morning-after scene today."

"Aw, Van, that's against every rule in the Guy Code," Irvine said, shaking his head sadly. "No matter what, you don't hit another man in the genitals. Unless he grabs your girl - then Guy Code is void, and you're permitted to chop off his nuts with a dull knife and use them as hackey-sacks if you want to."

"I'll keep that in mind," Van answered. Then he grinned. "Did you two have a good time tonight, Irvine?"

"Eh. It was okay," Irvine replied.

"Yeah, nothing special," Moonbay agreed.

"Nothing special? You sure?" Van asked slyly. "Because all the hickeys seem to imply differently."

"WHAT?!" Irvine and Moonbay screamed in unison, blushing furiously.

"Oh," Mercutio said, as he examined their necks. "So THAT'S what hickeys look like. Shibby, man. You do anything else you wanna tell me about?" he asked hopefully.

That earned him several blows to the head. He raced from the room with Irvine in pursuit, and yelled over his shoulder,

"I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES!"