Fan Fiction ❯ Lord of the Rings : What REALLY happened (Behind the Book) ❯ Ugluk, the frendly Urukhai meets Grishnack, the good little orc ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Angel_Star 
GUYS I AM SO SORRY!!!!!
I just have some little trouble in my new school! : )
Anyway, i'll try to update this sooner!
Hope ya all like this chapter!
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance / Fantasy / Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 05.03.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 303 | Status: Completed
GUYS I AM SO SORRY!!!!!
I just have some little trouble in my new school! : )
Anyway, i'll try to update this sooner!
Hope ya all like this chapter!
Anime/Manga: Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance / Fantasy / Comedy | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 05.03.2003 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.1K | Visits: 303 | Status: Completed
-Chapter 4-
Ugluk, the friendly Urukhai meets Grishnack, the good little Orc
- Prologue -
The wild fight between Gandalf and the Balrog continues.
Gandalf: GIVE IT TO ME DEMON!!!!
Balrog: NEVER!!!!!!!
The Balrog starts sniffing the weed so there won't be any left. But suddenly, he falls to the floor and starts having convultions, in less than five min. he is dead.
Gandalf laughs with madness.
Gandalf: YOU FOOL! ONLY THE FOOLISH DIE IN AN OVERDOSE!
Gandalf picks the last weed, than notices he is on top of a 100000000000000000 feet mountain.
Gandalf: HA! THIS WON'T STOP ME! I SHALL RETURN!
he notices a small unfrozen lake somewhere down and looks at his clothes.
Gandalf: But first, I'll shall get my clothes clean!
- End of Prologue -
The horrible, terrible, bloodthirsty Urukhai meats up with the orc gang of mordor.
Ugluk: Dumb orcs from Mordor turns to stone in day time!!
Featured orc from Mordor: But its night!
Ugluk takes some time to realize its really night
Ugluk: Me good joker! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Ugluk burts into laugher, nobody else laughs. Ugluk looks back to his orc squad and mentions to draw his sword, the Urukhai all bust into laugher. The Orcs of Mordor don't understand.
Ugluk: dumb orcs of Mordor! No sense of humor! No understand!
the leader of the Mordor orcs takes a step to the front
Grishnack: Let's cut the crap! We were sent here because you guys are taking the longest way to Mordor.
Featured orc: But Ugluk said this was a shortcut!
Ugluk decapitates the orc without even looking
Ugluk: It was UH... nessessary to UH... come to the UH...the shire Uh... to grab halflings.
Featured orc 2: Wait a sec! We are on Rohan, man!
Ugluk decapitates the orc
Ugluk: Thats what I meant.
Grishnack: How many hobbits did you get?
Ugluk: Those two.
He points at Merry and Gimli(YES, Gimli). The orcs from Mordor stare at Gimli
Gimli: What?
Featured orc from Mordor: Hey boss, why does that hobbit has a beard and carries an axe?
Grishnack: Because that's a dwarf.
Ugluk: YOU SAY ME STUPID?
Grishnack: HELL YEAH!
Grishnack jumps and punches Ugluk on the face.
Ugluk: UHH... me deserved that!
Grishnack: Now, you fry one of those hobbits for me to eat!
Ugluk: UHH... OK Boss!
Merry: Hey, wait a minute!
Ugluk: Shut mouth dwarf! We are going to fry the hobbit no matter what you say!
Merry: I am the hobbit, he is the dwarf!
Ugluk: Nice try! Brave dwarf! Trying to sacrify himself for the young hobbit, but Ugluk no dumb! Ugluk tell difference!
Gimli: You can't tell the difference between a fly and a cow!
Ugluk: Huhuhu! Cow no exist!
a cow appears out of nowhere
Merry: What do ya think that is?
Ugluk cuts the cow in half with his sword
Ugluk: That was a grasshopper! Hahahahahahaha!
the orcs look bored
Grishnack: Can we get going already?
Ugluk: Sure Boss!
Merry: why do you keep calling him boss? You are Urukhai, they are orcs from Mordor!
Ugluk: But they strong and big.
Gimli: But you are twice as strong and three times their size!
Ugluk turns to Grishnack and realizes that Grishnack is indeed three times smaller than him
Ugluk: YOU FOOLED ME! TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID IN FRONT OF MY MEN!
Grishnack: YOU LOOK STUPID IN FRONT OF YOUR MEN!
Ugluk: ME MOST SMART! ME SERVE SARUMAN!
orcs from Mordor: WE SERVE THE EYE!
Ugluk: BUT UH.... WE SERVE ISENGARD!
Grishnack:(mocking Ugluk) BUT UH...... ISENGARD SERVES MORDOR, YOU ASS!
Ugluk: NO MOCK UGLUK! ME KILL BEARDED CHICK ON RIVER!
Featured orc(whispering): But I thought the blonde chick had done it...
Ugluk(believing that he is whispering but actually shouting): NOT TELL THE BLONDE CHICK KILLED BEARDED CHICK, LET THEY THINK MYSELF KILLED, MAKE THEY FEAR ME!
Grishnack: I heard that.
Ugluk: BUT UH... ME BIGGER PENIS!
Grishnack: What does this have to do with the conversation?
Ugluk: BUT UH........ ME BIGGER BALLS!
Grishnack: WHAT???
Ugluk: BUT UH....... BUT UH....... KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!
they all start to fight, Gimli and Merry take adventage and run into the forest. Meanwhile, 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,000 Rohan knights watch the fight from the nearest hill.
featured rohan knight: And now, Boss??
Eomer: We wait till they beat the crap out of each other and then we'll have the barbecue!
rohan knights: YeAH!!!!!!!!
-Epilogue 1-
Boromir's screwed up boat is still floating down river, miraculously, Boromir is still alive but cant move since his bones are all broken.
Suddenly, Boromir spots his younger and dumber(YES, dumber) brother, Faramir by the the riverbank.
Boromir: Faramir! Help me brother! Get me out of this boat!
Faramir spots the boat and starts crying histerically.
Faramir: OH BOROMIR! MY DEAR BROTHER! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEE? WHY ART THOU DEAD?? THE BRAVEST WARRIOR OF GONDOR HAS FALLEN!!!
Boromir: FARAMIR! I M NOT DEAD YET!
Faramir: NEVER AGAIN SHALL I HEAR YOUR TRUMPET!
Boromir: IT'S A HORN FARAMIR! I AM STILL ALIVE!!
Faramir: OH! GONDOR WILL WEEP FOR THEE! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE RIDE OUR HORSES TO THE SUNSET! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE HEAR OUR FATHER'S STORIES! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE SHARE WEED!
Boromir notices another waterfall(YES, another one!) and starts screaming histerically
Boromir: FARAMIR YOU STUPID DUMBASS MORON, GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!
Faramir: NEVER AGAin shall we................
Boromir couldn't hear the end of the sentence for his boat fell again(YES, again) down a waterfall.
-End of Epilogue 1-
- Epilogue 2-
Aragon, Legolas and Pippin(YES, Pippin) are walking on the forest seeking for their lost friends.
Legolas: OH! I hate forests! They are all so durty and full of nasty bugs and scary animals, uhhh! Where is Gimli?
Aragorn: Legolas, you are and elf! You CAME from a forest!
Legolas: Oh! But, my forest was cleaner than this one!
Pippin: You came from a place called dark forest! How can this one be worst!
Aragorn: Shh! Someone is following us!
They stop and hear footsteps coming from behind
Aragorn: on three, 1,2,....
Legolas and Pippin turn around before Aragorn says 3.
Legolas and Pippin: SARUMAN!!!!!!!
Gandalf(now dressed in white): NO! I'ts me Gandalf!
Aragorn(turning around): SARUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legolas, Pippin and Aragorn attack poor helpless Gandalf.
To Be Continued...
-End of Prologue 2-
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Oh my! Will Gandalf survive this horrible attack? Will the Rohan knights finally have their barbecue? What will happen to Frodo and Sam(Aha thought i'd forrgotten about them, neh?)? And What will happen to Merry and Gimli? Will they meet their friends, or will they meet a tremendously horrible and deformed talking tree known as Treebeard?
Find out, on the next chapter...
The Battle at Helm's abism ( don't miss it!)
Thank you readers ( please review!) : )
*Angel Star*
Ugluk, the friendly Urukhai meets Grishnack, the good little Orc
- Prologue -
The wild fight between Gandalf and the Balrog continues.
Gandalf: GIVE IT TO ME DEMON!!!!
Balrog: NEVER!!!!!!!
The Balrog starts sniffing the weed so there won't be any left. But suddenly, he falls to the floor and starts having convultions, in less than five min. he is dead.
Gandalf laughs with madness.
Gandalf: YOU FOOL! ONLY THE FOOLISH DIE IN AN OVERDOSE!
Gandalf picks the last weed, than notices he is on top of a 100000000000000000 feet mountain.
Gandalf: HA! THIS WON'T STOP ME! I SHALL RETURN!
he notices a small unfrozen lake somewhere down and looks at his clothes.
Gandalf: But first, I'll shall get my clothes clean!
- End of Prologue -
The horrible, terrible, bloodthirsty Urukhai meats up with the orc gang of mordor.
Ugluk: Dumb orcs from Mordor turns to stone in day time!!
Featured orc from Mordor: But its night!
Ugluk takes some time to realize its really night
Ugluk: Me good joker! Hahahahahahaha!!!!
Ugluk burts into laugher, nobody else laughs. Ugluk looks back to his orc squad and mentions to draw his sword, the Urukhai all bust into laugher. The Orcs of Mordor don't understand.
Ugluk: dumb orcs of Mordor! No sense of humor! No understand!
the leader of the Mordor orcs takes a step to the front
Grishnack: Let's cut the crap! We were sent here because you guys are taking the longest way to Mordor.
Featured orc: But Ugluk said this was a shortcut!
Ugluk decapitates the orc without even looking
Ugluk: It was UH... nessessary to UH... come to the UH...the shire Uh... to grab halflings.
Featured orc 2: Wait a sec! We are on Rohan, man!
Ugluk decapitates the orc
Ugluk: Thats what I meant.
Grishnack: How many hobbits did you get?
Ugluk: Those two.
He points at Merry and Gimli(YES, Gimli). The orcs from Mordor stare at Gimli
Gimli: What?
Featured orc from Mordor: Hey boss, why does that hobbit has a beard and carries an axe?
Grishnack: Because that's a dwarf.
Ugluk: YOU SAY ME STUPID?
Grishnack: HELL YEAH!
Grishnack jumps and punches Ugluk on the face.
Ugluk: UHH... me deserved that!
Grishnack: Now, you fry one of those hobbits for me to eat!
Ugluk: UHH... OK Boss!
Merry: Hey, wait a minute!
Ugluk: Shut mouth dwarf! We are going to fry the hobbit no matter what you say!
Merry: I am the hobbit, he is the dwarf!
Ugluk: Nice try! Brave dwarf! Trying to sacrify himself for the young hobbit, but Ugluk no dumb! Ugluk tell difference!
Gimli: You can't tell the difference between a fly and a cow!
Ugluk: Huhuhu! Cow no exist!
a cow appears out of nowhere
Merry: What do ya think that is?
Ugluk cuts the cow in half with his sword
Ugluk: That was a grasshopper! Hahahahahahaha!
the orcs look bored
Grishnack: Can we get going already?
Ugluk: Sure Boss!
Merry: why do you keep calling him boss? You are Urukhai, they are orcs from Mordor!
Ugluk: But they strong and big.
Gimli: But you are twice as strong and three times their size!
Ugluk turns to Grishnack and realizes that Grishnack is indeed three times smaller than him
Ugluk: YOU FOOLED ME! TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID IN FRONT OF MY MEN!
Grishnack: YOU LOOK STUPID IN FRONT OF YOUR MEN!
Ugluk: ME MOST SMART! ME SERVE SARUMAN!
orcs from Mordor: WE SERVE THE EYE!
Ugluk: BUT UH.... WE SERVE ISENGARD!
Grishnack:(mocking Ugluk) BUT UH...... ISENGARD SERVES MORDOR, YOU ASS!
Ugluk: NO MOCK UGLUK! ME KILL BEARDED CHICK ON RIVER!
Featured orc(whispering): But I thought the blonde chick had done it...
Ugluk(believing that he is whispering but actually shouting): NOT TELL THE BLONDE CHICK KILLED BEARDED CHICK, LET THEY THINK MYSELF KILLED, MAKE THEY FEAR ME!
Grishnack: I heard that.
Ugluk: BUT UH... ME BIGGER PENIS!
Grishnack: What does this have to do with the conversation?
Ugluk: BUT UH........ ME BIGGER BALLS!
Grishnack: WHAT???
Ugluk: BUT UH....... BUT UH....... KILL THEM, KILL THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!
they all start to fight, Gimli and Merry take adventage and run into the forest. Meanwhile, 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,000 Rohan knights watch the fight from the nearest hill.
featured rohan knight: And now, Boss??
Eomer: We wait till they beat the crap out of each other and then we'll have the barbecue!
rohan knights: YeAH!!!!!!!!
-Epilogue 1-
Boromir's screwed up boat is still floating down river, miraculously, Boromir is still alive but cant move since his bones are all broken.
Suddenly, Boromir spots his younger and dumber(YES, dumber) brother, Faramir by the the riverbank.
Boromir: Faramir! Help me brother! Get me out of this boat!
Faramir spots the boat and starts crying histerically.
Faramir: OH BOROMIR! MY DEAR BROTHER! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEE? WHY ART THOU DEAD?? THE BRAVEST WARRIOR OF GONDOR HAS FALLEN!!!
Boromir: FARAMIR! I M NOT DEAD YET!
Faramir: NEVER AGAIN SHALL I HEAR YOUR TRUMPET!
Boromir: IT'S A HORN FARAMIR! I AM STILL ALIVE!!
Faramir: OH! GONDOR WILL WEEP FOR THEE! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE RIDE OUR HORSES TO THE SUNSET! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE HEAR OUR FATHER'S STORIES! NEVER AGAIN SHALL WE SHARE WEED!
Boromir notices another waterfall(YES, another one!) and starts screaming histerically
Boromir: FARAMIR YOU STUPID DUMBASS MORON, GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!
Faramir: NEVER AGAin shall we................
Boromir couldn't hear the end of the sentence for his boat fell again(YES, again) down a waterfall.
-End of Epilogue 1-
- Epilogue 2-
Aragon, Legolas and Pippin(YES, Pippin) are walking on the forest seeking for their lost friends.
Legolas: OH! I hate forests! They are all so durty and full of nasty bugs and scary animals, uhhh! Where is Gimli?
Aragorn: Legolas, you are and elf! You CAME from a forest!
Legolas: Oh! But, my forest was cleaner than this one!
Pippin: You came from a place called dark forest! How can this one be worst!
Aragorn: Shh! Someone is following us!
They stop and hear footsteps coming from behind
Aragorn: on three, 1,2,....
Legolas and Pippin turn around before Aragorn says 3.
Legolas and Pippin: SARUMAN!!!!!!!
Gandalf(now dressed in white): NO! I'ts me Gandalf!
Aragorn(turning around): SARUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legolas, Pippin and Aragorn attack poor helpless Gandalf.
To Be Continued...
-End of Prologue 2-
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
Oh my! Will Gandalf survive this horrible attack? Will the Rohan knights finally have their barbecue? What will happen to Frodo and Sam(Aha thought i'd forrgotten about them, neh?)? And What will happen to Merry and Gimli? Will they meet their friends, or will they meet a tremendously horrible and deformed talking tree known as Treebeard?
Find out, on the next chapter...
The Battle at Helm's abism ( don't miss it!)
Thank you readers ( please review!) : )
*Angel Star*