Fan Fiction ❯ what have i done to deserve this? ❯ what did i do? ( Chapter 1 )

What have I done to deserve this?

I wander this world without a purpose, shunned and cast aside by those around me. In my mind there's so much pain, confusion, denial, and doubt.

I may not look like it, but it hurts far too deep to ignore. I try to act as if it nothing bothers me but your words slash at my heart and soul. Slowly destroying my entire being.

These walls around me are getting smaller and smaller, day-by-day. Soon I shall be boxed in so tightly that I won't be able to escape the pain and rejection.

Then the exit I fear arises. Do I end it all? Finally escape form the pain forever? More exits appear, but the more exits that arises the more frightened I become.

This fear eats away at me. What do I do? Why is my life like this? So many questions unable to be answered. So many thoughts run through my mind each day. Yet a few questions speak out above the rest.

What have I done to deserve this? Why must I suffer, and have I not suffered enough? Why me?

I may never know the answers the questions that plague my mind or the ones I seek. With my life as it is another question arises. Who am I? I've lost myself along the way. Will I ever find out who I'm meant to be? Please I must know, who am I? There's so much I need to know, about why I seem to always the one to be blamed?

Have you ever experienced this? This confusion of who you are or where you belong? A pain so intense it seems to burn your very heart and soul. I have.

I've lost myself, my way. I tried to turn around and find my way back but every turn after that only got me more lost. I tried to find where I made the wrong turn but I couldn't and was too afraid to ask for help and directions.

I'm lost in my own mind. My own personal prison. How am I to survive when my mind, heart, and soul have been devoured by the demons that haunt my dreams. And the monsters that haunt my footsteps. Tell me how am I to have the courage to stand up when all around me demons and monsters keep me frightened and cowering. Please I beg tell me how.