Fan Fiction ❯ what have i done to deserve this? ❯ Wal-Mart ( Chapter 3 )

[ A - All Readers ]

By: Kakurot

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts

>crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

>"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.

>There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine

sample

>and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It

>takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."

>So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart. He

>deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine

>sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,

the

>computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm

>water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

>That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob

began

>wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a

urine

>sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some

>water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure. He then

went

>back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars,

pours

>in his concoction, and waits. In ten seconds the computer prints the

>following:

>1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

>2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

>3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

>4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

>5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.

>And .. as always .. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart