Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy 7 remake ❯ Iceburg Right ahead ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

After having fits of vomiting, Cloud sits in the darkest corner below the deck of the ship. He looked over at Aeris who is playing with her black knight and King Arthur actions figures, "What'cha gonna do, bleed on me!?" Aeris says in a british acent, being King Arthur's voice. next to her foot was a plushie of Rufus, and oglop, and a dark figure in a red cap with black hair and a golden claw in place of his arm. (We prolly know who that is but we cannot mention it yet!) Cloud shook his head and walked upstairs to see Tifa playing with plushies too only the ones she had was one of Sephiroth and one of her self and was making them do very sexual things to each other. Cloud felt jealous when seeing this but then he got over it and saw Red dancing around in his uniform, "Wee! I'm a happy little kitty kitty!" He shouted gleefully. Cloud shook his head, "I'm surrounded by idiots..." he sighed and sat down beside Tifa to watch her continue to play with her plushies. "Ooh...I see...I wish I could do that! Damn I still somtimes wish I could be Sephiroth!" Tifa looked at him, shook her head and continued with the hot, wild plushie sex. Cloud couldn't take it anymore and walked back downstairs to see Aeris still playing with he black knight and king arthur of course, including making sounds effects with her mouth . "Hey. go see what Barret's doing, OI! I hope he isn't making a fool of himself, OI!" so Cloud did what she said and ran upstairs and ran across the deck, passing Tifa and stepping on her Sephiroth plushie by accident. "Hey!" Tifa shouted and hopped up and down angrilly and pulled out a sausage, lit it on fire and threw it at Cloud, which it exploded in his face and left sausage chunks in his hair and on his face. Cloud got angered by this and wiped it off his face, shaking his and and walking over to Barret, who was looked in the window to the cockpit at Rufus who was controlling the ship. Suddenly Aeris jumps out and leaps onto Rufus. Then the same moogle jumps out holding the same sign saying "The following scenes contain depictions of wild, gore, sexuality, and drug content, Please Wait" then the moogle walks off and more jinglescoot/ice cream truck music plays. The screen flashes to Barret watching what was going on which was offscreen. "Damn she has a nice body! Why can't I get chicks like that? I only get fat chicks" Tifa walks out of nowhere and kicks Barret in the shin, "Well you're a fat ass yourself, Barret!" she sticks her tongue out at him and pushes him aside and walks into the cockpit, dragging Aeris in a robe out a few moments later. "Damn...if only I could..." Barret began to speak but the alarm sounded off "There is an unidentified passenger on the ship, please cover your heels because he might slash them open and put you on a bus." "Wow..." Tifa and Aeris burst out laughing while Aeris places her clothes back onto herself and they ran out with everyone. "Its not us is it?" Red looked up hopefully. "No...could it be...Sephiroth?" Cloud spoke, fear trembling within his voice. "Sephiroth?" Tifa spoke softly almost having hope somewhere within it. She shook her head and Cloud had chosen the party to be Tifa and Aeris, "Well let's go, dingbat, OI!" Aeris speaks and wraps her arm around Tifa's bicep. "Okay..." Tifa spoke and looked at Aeris like she was unsure of her. "No its not like that, OI!" "...Monster trucks" Tifa sighed and walked along with Aeris and Cloud following behind feeling a bit nervous. Finally, they walk into a small room into the lower deck, They look across the hall to see a shinra commander, bleeding like crazy, eyes wide open and collapsing to the ground, magically disappearing. Then Sephiroth appears out of the ground as if he were on and elevator. "Time..." he began to say but Aeris then interuppted him "...to play! OI!" "Yay!" Tifa squeals in excitement like a little girl and she joins hands with Aeris and they begin to dance around Sephiroth in a circle, "Ring around the sephy!" they recite and Sephiroth does the polish 'drinking beer' dance and then stops, "Okay I'm finished...hey aren't you those girls that...nevermind...that stuff's not for kids!" "You sir should put THAT away because that's not for kids!" Tifa points to the sword he has in hand. Then Tifa jumps onto a pink, two-year-old's bicycle with streamers on the bars, a blue floral basket, training wheels, and she rides around in circles on it while jinglescoot/ ice cream truck music plays. "What's going on here?" a familiar voice rings in, interuppting the music. Then Rufus walks in. "Ooooooh! OI!" Aeris shouts and jumps ontop of him. The same moogle from before walks out about to hold up the sign until Tifa rides out on her cheesy little pink bike and comes to a halt infront of him. "Go on home, Mogu, I'll take it from here, kupo!" she says to the little moogle. "Awwwwww! You're so cute!" Cloud runs out and pets her and Sephiroth runs out too and clings to her "So Adorable..." he cuddles her and purrs to her and Tifa stares at the both of them, 'No you guys! Not now! Sephy, I'm busy right now! I need to take this moogle's place." "I see..." Cloud scratches his head and walks off screen. "Alright, baby, I love you!" Sephiroth waves to her like a little boy would and blows a kiss to her and walks off. Tifa kneels down and looks at the little moogle. "Here you go, kupo!" she hands him 10000 gil and the moogle walks off, smiling while you hear Cloud and Sephiroth's voices ranting about how cute Tifa is. Tifa then begins to play "Calm before the storm" From FF10 while a bunch of oglops wearing black and purple tutus and other ones were wearing black and blue tutus. "Beautiful" Tifa says and Aeris runs out in Rufus' labcoat and nothing on underneath and begins to hug the oglop "Ooh so cute! OI!" "No Aeris! I'm doing my job, now you go and do yours!" Tifa scolds Aeris. "Okay! OI!" Aeris smiles all jolly-like and picks up one of the oglops in a black and purple tutu and runs off with it. Then a few minutes later, you hear Rufus' voice say "Ooh, oglop oil?" "Oh god..." Tifa giggles and turns up the music. Then the screen flashes to Sephiroth, Cloud, Aeris, and Tifa. "Okay, fun time's over!" Tifa smiles and both women kiss Sephiroth on the cheek and walk over to Cloud. "Don't you remember me? I'm Cloud!" "Cloud...? Reminds me of that guy that once puked on my boots..." Sephiroth shrugs and flies off, throwing a strange-looking tenticle thing at them. "Ow...my arm...OI!" Aeris shouts and Tifa starts laughing, "Maybe Sephy's the one who threw the arm at your window that one time! Oooh...I'm gonna have to spank him for doing that..." she mutters to Aeris. Then the usual fight occurs. "Look! Its got boobs!" Tifa laughs and points at the creature that was in the shape of a giant purple woman with tenticles. "LEAVE ME ALONE, OI!" Aeris screams and then continues speaking to Tifa, "Oh, sorry, Its talking through me, AHHHHH!" Aeris starts shaking. So everytime Cloud or Tifa would hits Jenova, Aeris would scream in pain. Then Cloud finally kills Jenova with his limit break and Aeris starts puking everywhere. and passes out for a few second and gets back up, brushing herself off, "Sorry...I didn't eat my wheaties this morning. OI!" "Wheaties...breakfast of champions!" Barret appears out of nowhere and does a little dance in his SEXY sailor costume. "The arm of Jenova..." Cloud looks at the arm. "Look! Its a testicle! ...Err..I mean Tenticle. OI! ....GIMME MY ARM BACK!" Aeris picks up the arm and smacks Cloud with it. "Here you can have this!" she shouts viciously and throws and materia at Cloud. Then Aeris' voice goes back to normal, "Ummm...she wanted her arm back, sorry...OI!" Aeris nods toward him and walks off with Tifa, who turns around and takes one last look at the room and frowns, already missing Sephiroth. "Don't worry Tifa, Sephiroth will come back out to play first thing in the morning! OI!" Aeris says to her in a comforting way and pats her on the shoulder. "Yeah, first we're gonna colour, then we're gonna play tag, and then we're gonna make a house of cards, and we'll make cookies, and then we'll..." Aeris covers Tifa's mouth, interuppting her sentence, "Shh...Don't say it...Don't say it..OI!"the intercom plays overhead and announces that the ship will be docking in five minutes. "Ahhh! ICEBURG RIGHT AHEAD! OI!" Aeris shouts. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE OI!!!! AHHH!!!" Aeris starts shaking and Tifa holds her to calm her down. "No silly, there's no iceburg! The climate's too warm here!" Tifa laughs at Aeris' foolishness. "You messed me up, OI! I was trying to say something great, OI!" Tifa shook her head and the three of them all walked up to the deck together to wait for the boat to dock in.
And that my friends...was chapter 10. Toon in next time for another hair raising adventure! The next chapter shall be "I can cook an egg on my forehead!"