Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Final Fantasy: The chronicles of Four! ❯ And the bad guys get their butts handed to them! ( Chapter 8 )

Hehe, time for another ridiculously hysterical chapter with our lovable warriors. But first… (opens mail bag) For FF.net users, Chad, if you think Fighter's done now, wait until you read below. Glazy Jenni, I'm so glad I made you feel better! I look forward to hearing your thoughts on my future chapters! Eternalprincess3, thanks! I'll make more chapters so you can admire my coolness. So, as always, I don't own any FF games or 8-bit.

 

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Black Belt ran through the fields, searching everywhere for Fighter. Terra had refused the Masamune from him, even though Auron swore she'd love it. However, Black Belt stopped when he saw a group of people gathered around a small mountain.

 

“What's going on?” Black Belt asked, as he caught up to everyone.

 

“There's this red-headed guy climbing up the mountain. He says he's gonna sing something. Kind of crazy if you ask me.” An old man replied. Black Belt sighed, and began walking up the path.

 

“Excuse me.” He said as he pushed some people out of the way. Seeing as how it was a small mountain, it didn't take Black Belt too long to find Fighter. “Fighter, what are you doing!?” he asked angrily when he saw his friend. Fighter turned around.

 

“Hey, BB! You're just in time!” Fighter exclaimed, microphone in hand. Black Belt just raised an eyebrow.

 

“In time for what, dare I ask?” Black Belt… asked. Fighter's smile grew.

 

“In time for my proclamation of love!” he replied, happy as can be, “If the sword didn't swoon Terra, my voice definitely will! I'll have you know I came in first place at my third grade talent show!” A sweat drop appeared over Black Belt's head.

 

“Wasn't that because everyone mysteriously died after your singing?” he asked, but Fighter ignored him. He turned on the microphone.

 

“PEOPLE OF CHERRY TOWN AND CORNERIA, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?” Fighter boomed into the microphone. Only a few people cheered him on, and they'd live to regret it dearly. Fighter turned the volume up as loud as he could, and began to sing with all of his might.

 

“AND I… WILL ALWAAAAAAAAAAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!! WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU!!” Fighter screamed into the microphone towards Terra's bar. Rumbling could be heard in the background, and soon huge piles of snow were rolling down the mountain. People started screaming as the snow crashed into their houses.

 

“Good job, Fighter! You caused an avalanche!” Black Belt yelled as they were being washed away by the snow. Fighter just grinned.

 

“At least my song was a smash hit! Get it?” Fighter asked. Black Belt's eyes narrowed.

 

“You're not funny.” He said, “I hope our friends are doing better than we are…”

 

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Back in the Marsh Cave, our heroes were waiting in fear for whatever was called from the rigged tile.

 

“Alright, this is ridiculous! If you're gonna scare us like that, get out here and show yourselves!” Black Mage yelled after a few minutes went by. Suddenly, a flash of white told them something was right outside the door.

 

“Hold on a minute!” hissed a voice that sounded strangely like a snake would, “We're old! Our bones are deteriorating! Give us some slack!” Sure enough, six white-robed figures with octopus heads hobbled slowly into the room.

 

“What the hell were you supposed to be?” Black Mage asked, laughing. White Mage punched him in the stomach. One of the figures spoke up.

 

“We are the most dangerous cult in existence! How dare you talk to us, your new masters, that way!” it exclaimed, in an English accent. Thief blinked.

 

“Does King Cornelia know about this? I mean, he's the leader of the most powerful nation and I don't think he'd like it if you took over without him.” Thief said, obviously not realizing that the old fools were enemies and were indeed the most annoying kind in the world.

 

“Shnnqwa, I TOLD you to make that appointment!” one of the figures said in frustration. The robed figure in the back, who was Shnnqwa, spat.

 

“You know these modern towns! They had waiting lines! I didn't have 75 years to wait just to see some stupid king!” Shnnqwa said. Suddenly, all of the robed figures started to fight, leaving the four heroes to stare confusedly at them all. Black Mage finally got sick of the fighting.

 

“Look, I realize you idiots have some issues, but can you please just tell us who you are so we can kill you?” Black Mage asked, drawing out his dagger. The figures all stared in horror.

 

“Listen, we may be Wizards, but that doesn't mean you should just slash us all to death! We're an endangered race here!” One of the other Wizards cried, “Don't we have protection rights?” Thief got out a pad of paper.

 

“Well, we're the Light Warriors, so it's out duty to protect those in danger. If you want, we can put you on our protection list.” He offered. Shnnqwa stepped up.

 

“That would be appreciated. But just put us all under my name. It's so difficult to write all of our names, as we have different languages than you. I doubt you'd even comprehend what we'd say in our native tongue.” Shnnqwa replied. Thief began writing her name down.

 

“That's two ns, right?” Thief asked, and turned to Red Mage, “Can you pronounce that? It'd be hard to get protection laws on these guys if we can even say their name.” Red Mage grabbed the pad and examined the name.

 

“As a master of versatility, I've learned hundreds of monster languages. Clearly, this Wizard's name is Shanniqwa.” Red Mage said. The Wizards gasped in fear.

 

“Holy Chaos! He knows how to speak our native tongue! We're doomed!” Shnnqwa exclaimed, as the other Wizards began to scream in deathly pain and horror.

 

“That's your language!? Oh please! It's easy to understand once you realize that all you guys did to differentiate your language from ours is take out most of the vowels. Not that hard, guys.” Black Mage stated, tapping his foot impatiently. The Wizards all knelt down in fear.

 

“Please, spare us. Take whatever you need, just don't kill us!” they all said in unison. Black Mage rolled his eyes, but Thief put the pad back.

 

“There's no need for worries. You're already on our protection list, so we won't kill you.” Thief reassured them.

 

“All we ask is if you can give us the Crown, or at least tell us where it is.” Red Mage added. One of the Wizards got up and pointed behind Black Mage, to a treasure chest.

 

“There's a Crown in that box. Go ahead and take it, we just found it one day and have been waiting patiently for whoever lost it to show up.” He explained. Black Mage walked over to the chest, and opened it up. And there it was, in all of its shiny and ruby-encrusted glory, the Crown. White Mage raised her eyebrows as she looked back at the Wizards.

 

“If you had every intention of giving the Crown back, why did you set up an alarm?” she asked.

 

“Well, we wanted to be ready to congratulate whoever lost that crown for making it this far. We recently turned our boring cave into a tourist's attraction, but some of the monsters who work here are a little more hostile.” Shnnqwa explained.

 

“And by hostile, we mean they kill off any humans they come into contact with.” Another Wizard added, “So I guess after a while, we kind of figured no one would even come here.” Black Mage twirled the Crown around in his hands.

 

“Well, we got what we came here for, didn't we? I say we leave now and go get whatever piece of crap that old king guy considers a reward.” Black Mage suggested, walking out of the room. White and Red Mage bid farewell to the Wizards and followed Black Mage.

 

“And remember guys, you're on protection now!” Thief exclaimed, waving goodbye, “No more getting killed off by knights for you!” The Wizards all gasped and danced around in excitement, until they noticed that smoke was wafting in through the upper floor.

 

“BM, what are you doing!? We have to get moving!” White Mage stated angrily. Black Mage was just standing in front of the cave entrance, although no one could see exactly what he was doing.

 

“Oh, nothing! I'm just seeing if our new buddies are coming out!” Black Mage replied. He was thankful he had his back turned from his friends, or they would've seen the evil grin on his face. After his Fire2 spell lit the trail of twigs Black Mage set, he quickly ran back to his friends.

 

“HEY! Be careful up there! There's smoke coming down here!” one of the Wizards called, not realizing BM had cast the spell. Black Mage ignored the call and kept walking. Suddenly, the entire Marsh Cave exploded, sending rocks, doors, and Wizards flying through the air. Red Mage looked up at the sky.

 

“What was that!?” he asked, his hat falling off from the force of the explosion. White Mage and Thief shrugged and asked the same thing. Black Mage whistled innocently as they tried to think of what could've set off such an explosion.

 

“Oh, what difference does it make!? Point is, there's no more marsh for the little kids to go falling in to. I say we just leave now before anything like that happens to us.” Black Mage said crossly, before adding under his breath, “…or, happens to you to be more precise.” The other three agreed, and they walked through the burnt destruction of what used to be the Elfland forest.

 

“Wow, is it me? Or is it easier getting back to the castle?” Thief asked as they quickly walked by the small pond near the western castle.

 

“Well, the explosion totally wiped out all of the plant life here, therefore getting rid of the only obstacle in our way to the castle.” Red Mage replied, “I'm still wondering what set off such a blast!” Black Mage stomped to a halt, waving his arms in the air.

 

“Does it really matter who did it!?” Black Mage asked angrily, “It's not like I would've used my magic any other way! So, let's drop the matter and get moving!” He started to storm off again until he noticed the other three were glaring at him. “WHAT NOW!?”

 

“YOU destroyed the forest!?” Red Mage asked.

 

“BM, how could you!?” White Mage demanded, in tears.

 

“Dude, you are so going to holy hell if the elves find out about this.” Thief said.

 

“If? I just destroyed their homeland! They're gonna find out eventually. And so what? They're the reason we had to go into that cracked-out monster hellhole in the first place! If it weren't for the fact that they're immune to my magic, those elves would've been dead a long time ago.” Black Mage stated, amused with his work. He began to stroll towards the castle for the third time, the others following at a safe distance.

 

“At this rate, we won't have a world to protect.” White Mage sighed, putting her hand on her face. Thief whispered something to Red Mage, who handed him a Brady Games guide.

 

“Not to worry, WM. RM said that if we can get our class changes, BM's additional bonus points will go into manners and good morals instead of evil and meanness!” Thief exclaimed, showing her the page Red Mage circled. Underneath it was an ad from Bahamut stating pure power if anyone could find his missing rat tail. White Mage took the book and read it carefully.

 

“That's great, but we'd have to go to Dragon's Cave islands, and do you know how far that is? It'd take forever!” White Mage responded, handing Thief the book back. After that, nothing was said as they made their way to the western castle.

 

When the three got to the rusted gates, they saw that Black Mage already made his merry way inside. Or, blasted his way in. The gates were blown right off their hinges. No one said a word as they followed the path of destruction towards the throne room. Black Mage was waiting for them outside the door.

 

“Geez, it sure took you guys long enough.” Black Mage said, annoyed, “What was the hold-up?”

 

“Oh, we were just admiring the chaos and damage you caused on your way in.” White Mage sarcastically replied. Black Mage grinned as Red Mage proceeded to open the door. As soon as he did, Black Mage marched proudly up to the king, holding the Crown for all to see.

 

“King of whatever this place used to be, we have your Crown!” Black Mage said, “And might I add that we've had to slay dragons and ogres alike to get it!” Thief looked confused as Black Mage continued to tell his lie.

 

“But I thought those Wizards gave it to us!” Thief exclaimed, tilting his head. Red and White Mage chuckled, seeing Black Mage get his scheme busted. Black Mage turned and gave a death glare, before speaking to the king again.

 

“Well, yeah, the Wizards did hand it to us, but we had to fight horrible monsters on the way to the cave!” Black Mage said quickly.

 

“But I thought the monsters helped us get to the cave. Then you killed them, remember?” Thief asked. A vein appeared in Black Mage's head, and he turned around stiffly.

 

“Thief, if you don't shut the hell up, I swear I'll rip out your liver, cook it, and then feed it to you.” Black Mage threatened, “Then, and maybe then, I'll think about showing you mercy with a quick death.” The king hopped off of his throne.

 

“Fellows, it matters not how you saved my beloved Crown, but the point is, you have! Now I can attain my true powers once again!” The king stated happily, and took the Crown out of Black Mage's hand.

 

“I'm truly glad we could help you, sir. But now there is something we'd like to discuss. It concerns the information you have about Astos and getting the Crystal back for Matoya.” Red Mage said in his I'll-be-so-polite-everyone-will-help-us voice. The king just laughed.

 

“Oh yes, your reward…” The king repeated, turning around. His eyes began to blow with an evil red glint, and he unleashed a powerful air attack, sending the four straight into the wall.

 

“Ow… What was that for!?” Thief asked, rubbing his arm.

 

“Sir, why are you doing this?” White Mage asked, as Red Mage slid off the wall.

 

“Because, you four are SO easy to fool.” The king replied, “Did you not wonder where my subjects went?”

 

“Actually, we did.” Black Mage said flatly. Thief and Red Mage climbed a ladder while the king continued to reveal his evil nature.

 

“Well, I am Astos! But I did not lie. I did kill my people, and I could not defeat myself in order to bring complete destruction on this pathetic castle. But you fools have given me the power I need to control this world! I should thank you, so I will make your death as quick as I can.” Astos said, and laughed. Black Mage looked at Thief. Thief gave a signal to keep Astos occupied while he and Red Mage found a way to kill him. A sweat drop appeared over Black Mage's head, but he took out a gil.

 

“Look, dude. I didn't come out here to lose my life to some nobody like yourself. How about a nice, shiny gil to make you go away?” Black Mage asked, confidently holding up the gil. Astos looked at it and fell on the floor in hysterical laughter.

 

“Y-you honestly expect me to accept that?!” Astos asked, continuing to laugh. Thief and Red Mage had made it to the top of a chandelier, and Thief had his dagger out.

 

“No, but we were expecting you to forget about us!” Thief replied. Astos got up quickly and screeched. Thief had cut the rope holding the chandelier up, and it fell, crashing right on top of Astos! Thief and Red Mage jumped before it landed, and they were safely on the ground now.

 

“YEAH! We did it!” Thief and Red Mage exclaimed together, dancing and giving everyone high-fives. Black Mage's sweat drop got bigger.

 

“That was your big plan!?” he asked, annoyed.

 

“Hey, it worked, didn't it?” Thief asked, “Anyway, I say we get out of here.” He, White, and Black Mage headed out the door until Red Mage called.

 

“Wait! We can't forget about the Crystal! That's why we're here, remember?” Red Mage said, and walked over to Astos's now dead body. He took a shining crystal out of Astos's pocket, and then ran out after the others.

 

“Well, good. We're about half-way done with this stupid quest.” Black Mage said as they left the abandoned castle. Red Mage chuckled, throwing the Crystal in the air and catching it.

 

“On the contrary, I think our adventure is only beginning to pick up. Who knows what other quests will be intertwined with this one?” Red Mage asked, smiling happily.

 

“Yeah, no thanks to you…” Black Mage mumbled. Then he looked up at the sky.

 

“Oh well, it could be worse. Matoya could've been disguised as Chaos… Let's just get there as fast as we can…”

 

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And so, our heroes successfully killed Astos! But now what? Can they get back to Matoya without their boat? And is Matoya really Chaos in a cheap witch costume? What happened to Fighter and Black Belt? All will be answered in the next chapter, so click that Review button!