Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ I Know What Lies Beneath the Snowfields ❯ Chapter 14 ( Chapter 14 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

"I Know What's Beneath the Snow Fields"
Chapter 14

The instant she shut the door after her friend left, Aeris plunged into a
sea of confused thoughts; so many cluttered her mind at once, she could not
concentrate on any one in particular. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her head
ached terribly.

It was very quiet.

Aeris slowly became aware of the deathly silence that had invaded the
whole apartment. It crept around every dark room, lourked in the shadows,
just to peer amusedly at her pain. It's burning eyes bore right into her
soul; it seemed to call her mane several times.

She turned around mechanically, then sprung back in alarm: Vincent was
staring straight at her with bloodshot, wild eyes.

He had finally woken up.

Vincent stood half-way through the doorway of the bedroom, so that Aeris
could only see half of his face and body. He did not flinch a muscle.

Though Aeris could barely distinguish his tall, black figure in the dark,
her hands trembled on meeting his glowing eyes. Even if she had wanted to
speak, the pounding in her heart denied her any voice.

She retreated a step or two in spite of herself, then stood rooted to her
spot. Her legs began to shake underneath her. Vincent slowly emerged from
the bedroom, his two arms folded loosely across his chest. As he staggered
towards her, his eyes suddenly flashed with strange, hectic delirium. His
face, now clean of all blood, looked more waxen and pale than ever before.

He did not stop until he was exactly one step away from Aeris.

There was an agonising stillness in the hall. Vincent appeared to find the
girl's terror quite amusing; an evil smile gradually twisted his lips.

"I must frighten you a great deal..Aeris..," he began in a hoarse whisper.
His blazing eyes narrowed keenly on her face.

"N..no..," she stammered softly, "I'm not afraid of you..."

"Then why are you shaking?"

A sharp, cold sensation licked her spine, causing her to tremble even more
violently; but Aeris refused to admit her fear. She cast her eyes to the
floor in anguish, and remained silent.

"I bet I frighten you more than your Professor..," Vincent chuckled in a
low voice, "..I even bet you wished sometimes you could go back to him
rather than stay with me.."

Aeris started at the unexpected accusation, unsure whether she should
argue or ignore it. She found her quizzical eyes riveted on his pale face,
but he only returned her look with a stoic expression.

For some reason, Vincent suddenly stepped away from her. He retreated
dejectedly to the darker end of the hall, avoiding her gaze altogether. He
hung his head so low, some of his hair tumbled over his haggard face, even
over his shoulders. The darkness of the hall shrouded him in some invisible
cloth, as though it wanted to conceal a secret from the girl's eyes.

Aeris studied his pitiful figure in silence: his arms appeared much
thinner in that loose, sleeveless shirt; the blackness of his hair and
shabby clothes only intensified his paleness. Her heart flooded with pain.

Why is he like this?! Aeris cried in her mind, he's completely lost his
mind!

But before the compassionate girl could open her mouth, Vincent shot his
ruby-red eyes at her again. They glared with a malicious fire.

"Did you ever ask yourself why I scare you so much?" he sneered
contemptuously.

Aeris stared blankly at his figure in the dark.

"Is it my hideous face?" Vincent asked as he gently touched his cheek, "Or
my claw, perhaps?"

He lifted his claw up to his wasted face and marvelled at its long, sharp
fingers that gracefully curved inwards. Aeris thought she heard him
snickering.

"You always seem to shake just looking at my claw," Vincent muttered
half-audibly, "Is that what scares you so much?"

Aeris, of course, dared not answer. Instead, she pressed her back against
the wall, trembling as the madman eyed her from the black corner. Though
she could barely make out the outline of his body, the darkness had
completely obscured his face from her. Strange to say, Vincent seemed to
derive pleasure from wallowing in that darkness. Aeris could see his two
bloodshot eyes flicker playfully at her distress.

"But no..," Vincent whispered to answer himself, "You're afraid of me
because you're the one who can...see through this mask I hide behind.."

He covered his face with his sharp claw, letting its cold fingers spread
all over his "mask" until Aeris could only see one red eye; it glared
scornfully at her.

"Heh heh..," sniggered Vincent under his breath, "..a little girl like
you.."

Her hands hands clasped themselves over her breast in an attempt to calm
her heart. She had never seen Vincent look so sinister; he looked ready to
murder her any moment.

"I could walk anywhere...talk to anyone," he raved on without removing his
claw, "..even talk to old, decrepit men on trains..and they would call me
'young man'..."

He pulled his claw away from his face, then scoffed hatefully, "They only
see the mask...the idiots! They can't see the monster like you can."

"V,,Vincent..," Aeris forced out in alarm.

"I don't mean that monster..the one with the wings and claws..," the
madman sighed. He ran his trembling fingers through his chaotic hair,
mumbling, "..no..I mean you see the other monster...the one that wouldn't
help Lucrecia..it's the one that hounds me day and night...no matter where
I hide.."

She took a step towards him, but stopped short on meeting his strange
eyes: they had shifted from a spiteful glare to a bitter, melancholy glow.
His feet suddenly grew unsteady, and he collapsed to his knees in an
instant. The fever had obviously torn all his senses apart; Vincent sat
slouched on the ground, not understanding how he had landed there in the
first place. He clutched one side of his head in pain, nearly tearing the
hair from their roots.

Aeris forgot her fear in a second. she immediately rushed over to him. Yet
despite all her entreaties and calls, Vincent continued to clutch one side
of his head. His eyes darted from one end of the room to the other, as
though he could actually see someone.

"But, it's all for the experiment..," Vincent ranted to himself, "his
wonderful experiment.."

Aeris forcefully tore his hand away fro his face, and peered into his
ashen, sickly face. Unimaginable pity swelled in her heart. Vincent pressed
her mouth with his cold hand before she could utter a word.

"Sh! Sh! Listen!" he whispered cautiously, glaring at one corner of the
room, "..he's looking for you...he can't find you, that's why he's cursing
so much..."

But this was too much for the poor girl; she could not bear to see him so
miserable.

"No one's there, Vincent," Aeris cried as both her hands gripped his, "You
have a..a fever and.."

"Sh! Listen!!" he growled, looking all around the room then straight at
her, "..now he's screaming! He wants to finish..he must finish the
experiment! they..they're all calling me a monster.."

"But you're not a monster, Vincent!!" Aeris argued loudly. She held his
feverish face between her two hands, and repeated, "You hear me?! You're
not a monster!!"

Vincent's crimson eyes froze on her troubled face when she finished
shouting those words. She struck him as particularly beautiful and young at
that moment. But no sooner had he realized that than his whole face
darkened with immense hatred.

Suddenly, he pounced on the girl in a fit of rage. Though Aeris struggled
wildly and screamed to break loose, Vincent easily pinned her against the
floor with amazing new strength. In a flash, the madman had her flat on her
back, with her two hands firmly implanted near her head.

"What would *you* know about monsters?"he sneered as he brought his face
close to hers, "You're just a child! A CHILD!!"

"Ah!! Y..you're hurting me..," Aeris sobbed; his claw was crushing her
wrist under its heavy weight.

"Do you have any idea how much blood I've shed?!" Vincent raved, beside
himself with anger,
"Can you smell it on my body? Can you see it on my face?! Tell me, aren't I
a monster?!"

"No!" she snapped back, "No! I don't believe you're a monster!"

"Of course I am! That's why I scare you! It's the monster! Say it!
Say:Vincent, you're a monster!"

"You can't be a monster!" Aeris insisted stubbornly, feeling his grip
tighten on her, "Even if you change into that horrible creature..it's not
you're fault!!! You're NOT a monster!!"

A heavy pause fell on the two again. Aeris gasped outloud, completely
overwhelmed with his madness. Vincent gazed down at her coldly, as an
animal may study its prey before killing it. An unnatural smile crept
across his lips.

"Heh heh..do you know why I even bother with you, Aeris?" he asked
vehemently, "Do you know why I seem ready to throw away my stupid life the
minute I hear you're in danger??"

She slowly turned her head to look up at him. He hair had become loose
during the struggle, and had scattered all around her head, making her seem
more beautiful.

"It's not because I care for you," Vincent answered, "Fah! I don't care
for anyone!! It's not because I'm kind or soft-hearted..far from it!! I
could still kill as easily as before!"

His burning eyes consumed her in their insane fire until tears streamed
down her cheeks. He was hurting her beyond endurance.

"It's for Lucrecia," he dropped his voice to a harsh whisper, "It's always
for Lucrecia. I pretend I'm protecting her instead of you..that she's the
one near me instead of you..it's her, not you! NOT YOU!!"

The girl clenched her little white fists, but did not answer.

"I'm a selfish..selfish bastard..," Vincent muttered to her softly, "I
would have let Davoren drag you away to Hell, for all I care, if I wasn't
like this."

She still did not reply.

"Now, answer me: aren't I a monster?" Vincent asked her. He even loosened
his grip slightly.

"At first, I..," she stammered after a short silence, "..I thought you
were very cold-hearted..yes, maybe I even felt you were a monster..so I hid
away from you..because you scared me so much, like I had wronged you
somehow.."

Her voice sounded very steady despite her violent trembling. Vincent
narrowed his keen, mad eyes, weighing every syllable she uttered. He seemed
to grow more spiteful.

"But..," Aeris continued, now looking directly at him, "..when you ran
after me in the rain..when you said you felt 'concern' for me..I *knew*
then you weren't a monster at all."

He gave a slight twitch at the word "monster".

"And Vincent, when you hugged me after all of that," she cried in anguish,
"it wasn't a monster that did it! It was a human being! A kind, gentle
human being!"

"What kind of bullshit is that?!" he growled through grit teeth, "You make
me sound like a saint!! I've killed and destroyed so many lives..trampled
all over everything..I can't even remember when I.."

"I don't care what you say!!" Aeris interrupted, shaking her head
vigorously, "I don't care if you think you're I monster! Maybe you were one
in the past, but I will not believe you're one now!!!"

Her bright green eyes flashed straight up at him as she finished, "And if
you won't listen to me, then pretend I'm Lucrecia for one moment and open
your ears: You are not a monster!!"

Aeris squeezed her eyes shut, breathless with agitation. A strange, bitter
feeling stung her pounding heart. Vincent stared coolly at the distressed
girl he held pinned down on the floor. His hand grasped her wrist so
tightly, he could feel her pulse throbbing in pain.

His head suddenly felt cold, even though the rest of his body burned with
fever. He automatically withdrew from Aeris, obviously ashamed he had
harmed her. Vincent crawled away as she sat up, but grew tired after a few
inchs. He huddled dejectedly by the wall.

"F..forgive..I didn't mean to hurt you..," he muttered, looking at his
claw in dismay, "..and I didn't mean to vent my hatred on you like that.."

Aeris watched him edge further away from her, as if the darkness could
perhaps shelter him its black arms. She did not say anything.

"When I said I was concerned about you, I really meant it," he whispered
bitterly, "..but your pain is only physical..it goes away after a
while...you wouldn't understand why I'm like this..'mentally shattered' is
the expression I think I used.."

His confused eyes wandered all around the black hallway until he could see
no more. His senses were fading into oblivion.

"What would I give to satisfy her, Aeris?" Vincent whimpered, addressing
soley himself, "I stayed out of her way..I punished myself and let others
punish me...I joined Avalanche, but it wasn't for the Planet..I never cared
about the Planet...it was all for her.."

Aeris crawled over to him in silence, and touched his bare arm softly. He
did not notice her at all: he seemed to look straight down a bottomless pit
of chaos; his mind drew closer and closer to the brink of insanity.

"But I know there is nothing..," he mumbled tiredly to the darkness,
"literally nothing I can do to win her forgiveness for what I've done.. I
don't deserve it, anyway...ugh! What a hideous creature I am..
a..mon..s..te..r..."

The fever drowned him at last. Vincent's whole body suddenly slumped to
the side, but Aeris caught him in her arms before he could crash into the
ground. He had lost conscious again.

Strange that she did not cry, nor did she sob out his name, or even quiver
in fear. Instead, she embraced his lifeless body all to herself. She
nestled his head agaist her shoulder, stroking his black hair tenderly. She
began to cradle him gently from side to side, like a mother lulling her
child to sleep. She said nothing to wake him.

Vincent had finally slipped into the bleak abyss of delirium. The ugly pit
eagerly yawned open its mouth to admit him into the darkness, then sealed
him away from reality.

He felt very cold, especially in his fingertips.

And his mind strayed back...back..thirty-one years ago.....