Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The (shinra) office ❯ day twenty-three: facial hair ( Chapter 23 )

I do not own final fantasy, or Hotaru. That's catneko13's character, so go check out her stories, and honestly they both crack me up…

Day twenty-three: facial hair

 

“I should grow a beard.” Dante said out of no-where. Fondling angel's hair seductively, she was working on a rather large stack of papers, all requiring her attention and signature to become valid, and to be turned in by the end of the week. Dante was not helping this situation in the slightest.

 

“What? Where did that… why?” Dante was a random guy, sure, but he doesn't usually just blurt things out like a moron… even if he was a moron, and a total dork.

 

“Don't you think I'd look sexy with a beard?” in all honesty, he was a good looking guy, with pale blue eyes, and she was deeply attracted to chin stubble, but she didn't want to just openly fuel his ego, she'd suffocate if it got any bigger…

Angel ran a hand through his hair, bringing it out of his eyes, his eyebrows up, and a smirk plastered on his face. He laughed.

 

“I don't like beards. Not full beards.” She scribbled a curvy `A-grandora' Dante flipped over on her lap, tracing little circles in her thigh, she was wearing sweatpants, of course--- Not that it made a difference to him, she still looked good, even if it was In formal or casual…

 

“A bit of shadow, then?”

 

“A few whiskers would be sexy. But not a full-blown beard.” Dante nodded, warming his hands up on her stomach. She gave a yelp, and he grinned, his hands were really cold… he knew how much she hated to have her heat stolen. But she also hated how he invited himself into her place, and ate all her food, and blew in her ears…

 

“So how long is this job going to go on for?” he flipped again, on his back once more, his hands were still soaking up her heat.

 

She had a sullen look upon her features. Serious looks never suited her. “I'm not sure. I guess until—I just don't know.” She threw the papers carelessly onto the large cushion. Dante sighed, and then sat up. He slid her into her arms, she resisted slightly, but his strength prevailed in the end.

 

“You don't want him to get hurt, do you?” he kissed the top of her head, it smelled like jasmine, she buried her face into his neck, but he could feel the tears descend his neck, her sobs shook her uncontrollably. She just held her on his lap, closely.

 

“Come on… don't be such a wimp…” he muttered, he felt a hint of a smile, but that was it. He kissed her gently. Seems that was the least he could do at the moment.

Reno walked in with a spring in his step, doing a sort of dance/seizure, as he walked through the double glass doors, the only greeting he got however, was from the receptionist, who hated everyone… and I mean. Everyone...

 

He grimaced, and then shuffled his way to the elevator, and pushing his floor button.

 

Then the button next to that,

 

And the one under that one…

 

And another one…

 

And another…

 

“Ha, ha, ha, ha! Now that's art!” he smiled at his work, as a big, light blue, `Reno' was spelled out in elevator buttons. He nodded to no one in particular.

 

“Dammit Reno! I'm in here too!” yelled tseng, who just wanted to get a cup of coffee, he had a rough morning and Reno's mosaic wasn't really lifting his mood very well. But a good smack to the back of Reno's head made him feel a lot better.

 

“Ow- damn yo! Sorry! Geez!” yes, Reno had started saying stupid shite like `You dawg' and `what-up' and `yo mudder' which was eventually translated to `you eat mud' but they couldn't be sure, angel had punched him earlier, so he had a bit of a swollen cheek, and it made it difficult to understand him.

 

Then again, he never really spoke clearly, so it was ALWAYS hard to understand him.

 

“Just don't do it again—and I have work for you to cover, angel called in sick.”

 

“Angi's not here? What up with her?” he spoke like it was a tradgy, but his facial expression obviously showed how joyful he was. Perhaps if he didn't grin so wildly…

 

“Her fiancé called in saying she was a bit… indisposed.” Tseng tried hard to ignore Reno's wiggling eyebrows. …And the humping motions he was making….

 

“Ooh. Rough night. I knew I heard screams last night—“Reno, she had an emotional breakdown. Not that it's any of your business.” Reno seemed unfazed. Maybe it didn't register past that thick skull. Perhaps if he said it louder—

 

“Whatever, yo… hey! My floor! Later yo!” and before he could realize what had happened, he swept his hands over the whole board, pressing EVERY SINGLE BUTTON he could. Then ran out the closing doors like a professional athlete.

 

“DAMMIT RENO!” then tseng went as red as Reno's hair.

“When did she get this installed? And how?” Vincent button mashed, trying to rid himself of the pursuing guards, normally, Lucifer would be on his lap, and shedding tremendously, but he was home with angel.

“I'm really not sure, she kinda just coughs and goes all serious, telling me that if I mentioned it I would find computer parts between my sheets…” Vincent paused the game, turning his head slowly. She still had that blank look on her face, blank, but serious… like when she was trying to decide between a Baby Ruth, and a camello…

 

“I'm going to ignore that comment.” He resumed the game, Danielle giggled slightly, remembering angel's slightly `suggestive' remarks about Altair… not so much Desmond, though… she felt he was a tool. I mean really. Why is it the bartender gets to synch with a badass assassin? Huh? What about the female teens of the world? What the hell we gonna do with our lives when we're old and grody? I ain't gonna turn into no crazy cat lady! Hell n—oh shite. I think I just explained the origins of fan fiction… (o_0)

 

“Poor Angi. I hope she's alright.” Danielle wondered aloud. Vincent growled slightly, and repeatedly stabbed a guard through the neck.

 

“Good thing she's got Dante.” His eye twitched, and he held the controller in a white-knuckle grip, hands shaking…

 

“Vincent? Are you feeling alright?”

 

SNAP

 

“Oh… I'm sorry… these controllers are so very fragile.”

 

“Oh yeah… they're made of such… brittle layers…of plastic and-- yeah.” Vincent looked at the broken controller, snapped straight in half, pieces scattered on the floor. He took a deep breath, and grinned forcefully.

 

“I think I'm having an intellectual meltdown.”

 

“…” Danielle patted him on the shoulder, taking away the broken controller, making a mental note to buy angel a new one. The sad part way, she had an Xbox elite and made funny little patterns of graffiti on all of them.

 

That was not going to be a fun explanation.

 

“Coffee?” he grinned, trying much to hard to cover up his spiraling rationality…

“Ow. Get off. You're…really heavy.” Angel's body was squished against the couch, Dante lay on top, half naked, and grinning, two very bad things.

 

“I'd say you're too small, but you'd probably hit m—ow!” angel laughed, he was a moron, he was a dork, and he smelled like man-perfume, but he was fun to hang out with, and washboard abs helped out a lot.

 

“Got that right.” She felt his chin, it was slightly spiky, which meant he was actually trying to grow a beard. She laughed, though it was very appealing…

 

“Starting already? That was fast.” He planted kisses on her lips between words… she had to admit, sexy as it was, it was poking her, and she wasn't really into that whole kinky-sex-pain-thing.

 

“Geez, forget what I said, keep shaving. Wait a couple-a-years, huh?” she pushed him off, as he did that stupid guy-cough-slash-appalled-laugh. You know the one. `Dude, Bowser is the man!' `Ah! Ah-ha-ha-ha. Dude. Dude. Come on…fox mc-cloud.'

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa… first… you tell me to go for it… then you take it back?” tell the truth, he was sorta getting attached to the stubble. It made him look dignified… and it just made him look even manlier then he already was.

 

“Well it pokes, and tickles, when you kiss me. How can I take you seriously?” he scoffed. When did she ever take him seriously? Angel had no sense of respect for anyone, unless they could murder her on the spot.

 

With their mind.

 

And a furby.

 

Now that's impressive…

 

“Fine. I'll shave. But only cause it itches. And if anyone asks—“I'll say it was all your idea.” She waved to the white whipped wimp. (Tee hee waved. I mean, whipped)

 

“Ha, ha, ha… you know, for a man packing heat, he's kinda soft…” she smirked. “Screw it. Hey! Dante! Wait up!” she yelled, sliding down the hall in socks, a black tank, and sweatpants, the world's cheapest lingerie…

“Geez. Emotional breakdown. I didn't think she had that many emotions…”

 

“Yeah, she really just channeled angry…horny…and um…” Elena reached out for the words, but failed to really settle on a good adjective.

 

“Insane?” Anna suggested, mesmerized by the pure shininess of her new slinky, given her to by Dante when she wouldn't stop stalking random people.

 

“That's it!” she pointed out, laughing. She wiped away the tears as rude trudged in. tseng just had to blab about angel's personal problem. He just had to start the office gossip. Ohhhhh… was he in a world of hurt when angel got back in next week.

(She was given a week off due to femininely absurd grrrl. …Wait—F…A…G—OH COME ON!!! SERIOUSLY!)

 

“Hey rude. So, when's angel coming back in?”

 

“Next week. Don't bother her.” He held her cell phone in his hand gloriously, a sleek little phone in his hand. But it was complicated as hell, all the keys had both letters AND numbers…

 

Plus, it was in Spanish.

 

“Hey—who's in her contacts?” the creepy intern had quick reflexes for a scrawny stalker…

 

“It's in Spanish I can't—“there. Now… who does angel know?” the girls (and ryo) gathered around the creepy intern, which was probably a first for her, as most of the time, when girl were gathered around her, it was usually in the form of an angry mob.

On another note, she knew too much about phones. Which came from her habit of excessively calling men she interrogated on the subway.

 

“Dante, that's kinda obvious.” Anna pointed out.

 

“Vincent. Of course.”

 

“Scarlet? Who's that?” the intern cocked her head like a not very attractive collie.

 

“Her mom. See? Scarlet Grandora.” Anna pointed out. Again. (I am not being very creative about this right now, am I?)

 

“…Why does she have both Dante and Vincent on speed dial?”

 

“Incase she gets in an accident. They both share her blood type. 0-.” Angel leaned on the desk, smiling cruelly, the girls made brief contact, then effectively scurried away.

 

“Angi…you're supposed to be… you know—funny in the head.” The intern closed her phone quickly; angel snatched it away from her, staring her down with those creepy feral eyes of her.

 

“I was, until I realized I left my work her. And I'm gonna need it if I want to keep this job.” She smiled a sadistic smile, as rufus walked in, chatting on his phone-- Something about a better security system.

 

“Oh…fuck-nuggets.” She scrunched up her nose at that. Dante laughed at her. Handsome jerk.

 

“Angel, what are you doing back? I thought you—“angel, you got your work, so kindly get out, you're already milking this for all it's worth.”

 

“Yes sir. I heard that there was a rebel planning, so be sure to be on a look out for Hotaru. She does look like a dude, but I can assure you she'll rip your head off if you make that mistake…” angel pointed out, unwrapping a hotdog. She certainly did have a thing for hot meat, didn't she?

 

“Yes, I'm getting on that, now go home, I'm not paying you loaf about in the office.” Angel shook her head, but started to leave, but not before handing Vincent two hot dogs and a big smile. Dante gave him a fierce scowl over angel's shoulder.

 

“I still think you should wait a couple years for a beard.” Angel laughed, stuffing away the rest of hot dog.

 

Everyone shuffled out of the lobby, to their appropriate offices, Vincent sighed after a while, and started to leave.

 

“Hey. For the record…” angel jumped on her back, smiling a big, white, smile. Vincent's heart rate jumped from average to hyper-speed. “You're my emergency contact.” She gave him a peck on the cheek before she ran out the door.

 

Vincent touched his cheek and looked at the receptionist.

 

“…I didn't see nuthin.”

 

“Good woman.” He nodded.

By now you should know NONE of my titles for tso reflect on what actually pans out. Oh. And I really wanted a hotdog. Plus I stepped on a bee… son of a—ANYWAY. There are a couple hints about Dante. Now see if you can catch them (here's a big one. HIS HAIR IS DYED!!!!!)

 

Tee hee.