Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Five Days of Royai ❯ Dirty Minds ( Chapter 1 )

This is installment one of my Five Days of Royai, a countdown to June 11th, the official Royai day. Each installment will take place outside (or mostly outside) of the office as I plan to focus on the pair, their relationship with the rest of the gang, and their daily interactions outside of work. I hope you all enjoy these stories.

Guide: “…” is spoken word
`…' is thought

Disclaimer: I don't own Roy, Riza or Fullmetal Alchemist. I just like messing with it a bit. I also don't own “Dirty Minds” and yes, it's a real game!

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Title: Dirty Minds

“A sleep over?” Breda asked skeptically. “As in a slumber party? Like 12 year old girls.”

“No!” Fuery said defensively to Breda and the rest of the men. The crew (except the Colonel of course) had managed to get their morning paperwork done a bit early. As such, they were granted the right to sit and chit chat a bit before lunch.

“Not a `slumber party!' We'd do manly things!”

“Like drink?” Breda offered.

“Look at chicks!” Havoc suggested excitedly.

“Play cards?” Falman said putting in his own idea.

“Yes exactly!” Fuery agreed excitedly; simply happy that his co-workers and friends were beginning to warm up to the idea.

“And just where,” Mustang asked looking up from his paperwork and ignoring Hawkeye's scowl, “will this take place. You have no room in your barracks.”

Fuery seemed to stammer a bit before putting on his best puppy dog face. “Well… I was hoping you'd agree to the idea as well Colonel and we could use your apartment. It's just that… We hardly see each other outside the office, Sir. And…”

“Enough!” Roy said putting his face into his hands. “How did I end up with such a whinny staff? Fine, we'll use my apartment. When is this happening?”

Fuery looked like Christmas had come early, decorated with puppies and kittens. “Tomorrow night, Sir. Since it's Friday.”

“Fine, report to my apartment by 1900 hours.” Mustang said ending the conversation and looking back at (but not reading) his paperwork.

Fuery nodded and he and the others went back to chit chat for the few minutes before lunch. Roy on the other hand, looked at his number one subordinate. She was sitting at her desk, working ahead on her paperwork, face as impenetrable as usual. You wouldn't know unless you were trained in the Art of Hawkeye but her eyes showed a bit of disappointment at not being able to attend the “manly” sleep over.

`Well,' Roy thought. `I'll just have to fix that.'

Some time later, quite late I might add, Riza and Roy were finally leaving the office. As Mustang handed Hawkeye her jacket, he began to smile. Keeping a firm hold on her jacket, he spoke.

“Remember Lieutenant. We're a team here. You never need an invitation.”

Riza looked into the man's eyes, seeking an explanation for his random omission. She found little there though, except for sincerity and a bit of mischievous twinkle. Knowing she would receive no more explanation, she simply nodded her understanding and retrieved her coat.

The next night found Hawkeye, sitting alone in her apartment petting Black Hayate. Riza was, for lack of a better word, bored. She had finished her latest novel not too long before, and it was much to late to go buy another. As it was 18:30 hours and just past closing time at the little bookstore she loved so much. She had cleaned her guns at work during lunch, Hayate was walked, watered and fed and there was simply nothing left for Riza to do.

You never need an invitation.

Hawkeye sighed remembering her Colonel's words from a little under 24 hours ago. What did that mean? Was that a way of inviting her to the `sleep over?' Why?

`It doesn't matter.' Riza reminded herself. `I'm not going. It would be inappropriate.'

You never need an invitation.

Her mind thought again. Sighing, Riza stood up and retrieved her shoes and jacket. It wouldn't hurt to check on them. Goodness knows what they could be up to by themselves. It really would just be a good idea to make sure they were acting somewhat responsibly.

After a fifteen minute walk down several streets and up a few flights of stairs, Riza Hawkeye found herself in front of her superior officer's apartment door. She could hear laughter, voices and a bit of music from inside. Taking a deep breath, she lifted her hand and knocked quickly and efficiently.

After a few moments the door opened to reveal A grinning and flushed looking Roy Mustang.

“Hawkeye! Come in, come in!” Roy said excitedly, not waiting for a response and pulling her in by the hand. “Guys! Look who came!” He said once they reached the living room, pulling her in front of him, to parade her off.

Keeping herself in check, she took in the state of the room. The furniture and tables were moved off to one side and a ton of blankets and pillows sat in a makeshift bed in the middle of the floor. A few opened bottles of liquor sat randomly about and in the middle of the circle were a few booklets and a box with the title “Dirty Minds.”

“I'm simply checking on you all. Are you all drunk?

“Not yet.” Roy said sitting back down in the circle.

“But almost!” Jean yelled lifting a glass in mock salute and downing it quickly.

“I see… well now that I see that things are under control here, I'll just be…”

“Nonsense Hawkeye, come sit with us.” Roy said, again not waiting for a reply and pulling her down next to him.

“Really, Sir. It would be most inappropriate for me…”

“Nonsense.” Roy said again. “We're playing a game, join us.”

Seeing that her inhibited boss would not take no for an answer, Riza mentally sighed. “What game?”

“It's called `Dirty Minds.' The object is to guess the right item, person or thing based on three clues given one at a time.” Falman began to explain. “The problem is well…”

“We aren't doing a very good job of it, seeing as how all the clues sound sexual.” Roy finished with a smirk.

Riza groaned inside her own head. What had she gotten herself into by coming over here?

“Well,” the only women in the room stated. “Lets get this restarted.”

The drunken boys let out a cheer before continuing. It was Breda's turn to read a clue.

“People like to lick my nuts.”

Before Riza could open her mouth to guess, the men had burst into laughter. Rolling her eyes and clearing her throat loudly, Riza returned to the room to silence.

“Peanut Butter.”

“What?” Jean asked; the most drunk of all of them.

“The answer is peanut butter, correct Breda?”

“Yeah, yeah it is.” The man answered in shock. How had she known?

And that's how the next 30 minutes proceeded. One of the liquored up boys would read a clue (“I run by battery”), another would give a stupid guess (“dildo!”) and Riza would respond with the correct answer (“remote”).

After a while, Hawkeye's accuracy began to bug the boys. What fun was the game if they couldn't make dirty jokes for a few minutes? That was the point right?

“Alright!” Havoc said exasperatedly, throwing down his booklet. “How are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Riza asked raising her eyebrows.

“Getting all the right answers!” Jean yelled, with Heymans, Vato and Kain nodding their agreement.

“Well, it helps if you aren't drunk.” Riza said calmly and as if she were speaking to a 4 year old. “Also, it helps if you aren't trying to make the game dirty and think with a rational mind.

“Well that defeats the point of the game. Come on guys, let's go to the kitchen.” Havoc said, getting up and leading the male subordinates away to find more junk food and booze.

Riza and Roy sat in silence for a few moments, Riza suddenly aware of how close they were sitting. While of the officers had been sitting together in the circle, it was logical to sit close. But now that there was more then enough room to spare, Riza felt a tad uncomfortable. Not to mention a tad bit of something else she refused to recognize. It didn't help that at the very moment Riza was beginning to move away, Roy leaned over to whisper into her ear. “It wouldn't hurt to loosen up. This is supposed to be fun.”

Riza shivered slightly at the feel of his breath on her ear. She tried to lean away but Roy had moved a hand to her shoulder, keeping her in place.

“Sir.”

“Roy. It's Roy when were not in the office.”

“I rather not Sir.”

“I rather you did.”

“Please let me go Sir.”

“Not until you call me Roy.”

Riza moved her head to stare off with her opponent. A smug smirk sat on his face as he looked into her eyes and tightened his grip. “Fine, Roy.”

Roy seemed to smirk even more and pull the women closer to him before going to whisper in her ear. “Now, was that so hard?”

“You're drunk, Roy.” Riza said, pushing the man away. “I'll be returning home now. Try not to do anything too irresponsible. I expect you all in the office on Monday.”

And with that the women retreated as fast as she could, closing the door with a bit more force then was necessary. She made her way home as quickly as possible, all the while muttering about “blasted drunk Colonels” and trying to ignore the effect of his breath on her skin.

If she hadn't been quite so flustered and hurried, Riza may have noticed that when Roy was near her, his breath held no trace of alcohol.

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Hope you enjoyed! The real game “Dirty Minds” has a bit more to it. But the gang was playing the version my friends and I play. We just read the dirty clues and guess. Oh and btw, I'm usually the one yelling out things like “dildo.” Lol. Makes the game much more interesting when someone is saying, what everyone else is thinking, but wont say.

Anyway, this is just piece one, please check in each day for an update! I've already got the next finished. And the rest are planned out and will be worked on one, after another. So no worries of be not updating. Oh and please REVIEW!

ttyl and Royai dreams for all,
---animeluvr8