Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Left without a Word ❯ Words left Unsaid ( Chapter 12 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Desclaimer: I do not own FMA.






A/N: Mk, he'res the next chappie. enjoiii.







Chp.12- words left unsaid.







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There he sat before me, there he was after so long. I was actually surprised he was still alive. But how can we save the lost time? There's nothing that can be done now. My blood boiled as I saw his face, his eyes. Those topaz orbs. I swore to myself I hated him. I promised myself I wouldn't be let down again. Though all this time, this prescious time without him. He sat there without a word to say to me. He should be ashamed of himself. After all these years he comes back expecting something out of me. He wasn't sure of anything to say, I had expected him to work on a speech the way here, saying my name over and over and with every try, a new excuse. I could picture him infront of a mirror pretending to speak to me but stopped everytime he messed up and then he would start again. Though I couldn't help to think, how did I feel? Was I happy that he stopped me to talk? Was I relived? I wanted to ignore it but there was a twinge of excitement in the pit of my stomach.

"Winry.." he finally spoke, my eyes went to meet his. I swear I felt my heart flip and skip a couple of beats when he spoke my name. No one spoke it the way he did. No one dide and i'm sure no one could. I hated him for that.
I waited, he said nothing else. Now that was to be expected, I aslo imagened him looking at himself in the mirror after a couple fo tries and he shrugged turning around to start something new and completely foolish. Jackass.

"Listen edward if you have nothing to say I'm going inside" I wanred. I grew tired of his hesitance.

"Wait!" he called out reaching his hand for me but his fingers did not touch me.

I stopped. He wanted to speak then what was stopping him? I looked at his arm, at his automail. My automail. My work. It looked shabby and old now, it needed work. Though it did look like he had been taking good care of it and keeping it polished. But how temped I was to fix it, to take his hand and take him to my work shop. I wanted to push him against a chair or through him on a table with a lamp over his head. I wanted to fix his metal arm and make it brand new. But something stopped me, "winry" he caught my attention.

"Hmm?"

"Listen about the other day. When I kissed you" his voice trailed off. i knew he was thinking back to that day. I grew angry.
Oh yeah thanks for reminding me of that and come to think of it I still can't get the nasty taste out of my mouth.

"I shouldn't have" his golden eyes looked down to the floor. He looked rather ashamed, I thought he was squirming with pleasure.

Though I was surprised by what he had just told me.

"I guess it was because I missed you. I haven't seen you in years and when I found out you had a son my whole world came crashing down. I don't know what got over me and I'm sorry about the wall" he laid his eyes on me.

Wow, I never thought, I'd never thought I'd hear this. "edward, what you did...can't be forgotten or forgiven. I know you left for a reason but I-.." I stopped. The end of my sentence. My arms felt wobbly anf my knees buckled. "yes?"
I looked away, "Goodnight edward"

I walked off with words left unsaid.

He didn't call my name, he didn't say a thing. He just sat there watching me retreat. Oh Edward. How I wished he called me back, how I wished I would return and sit myself on his lap. This only angered me more and I stompped off like a bratty child. Why was I thinking like this?


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"Hey you, can I come in?" i peeked into ed's room. He lay in his bed with a red book in hands. "Sure" he said placing the book quickly under his pillow.

I sat on his bed, he waited for me to say something though I only looked at him. My son. Goodness how he looked like his father, at this moment that bothered me quiet a bit. "So ed..."

Ed laughed, "Mom you don't have to worry. I'm ok." he smiled. I couldn't help to smile at him either. He was so innocent so young. He looked so small in his big red shirt, I had told him at the store to get a smaller one but he refused, he said he was old enough to make his old decisions and chose the larger size. How fast he's growing, just yesterday he was learning how to crawl and now six he wants to make his own desicions. He's going too fast. "ed, I'm sorry"

"For what?" he asked.

"About everything, about Edward and the wall. It's not your fault"

"Mom" he whinned "Stop it!"

I laughed crossing my feet on the bed, "What?"

"Mom I'm not a baby anymore you don't have to worry so much about me. Besides I feel fine" He seemed rather annoyed at my constant worry. Though how could I stop from worrying? Wasn't it normal for a mother to feel over protective of her child? Or was I too over protective? was I smothering him with my love? though his words frightened me, I'm not a baby anymore you don't have to worry so much about me, his words echoed in my heart. He would never stop being a baby in my pint of view and I wish he still was. It would be easier, as a baby he wouldn't know much and wouldn't ask much. If he were still a baby I could keep him locked off from the reality of life that all of a sudden had come crashing down. But how selfish I was.

He was groing up too fast."Mom"

I looked at him as he called to me. Mom, how had I earned that name? I was living a normal life, things seemed good then someone comes along, somone small and helpless. He depended on me, he couldn't live without me. He gave me the name of mom. Him and only him. Before they only called my Winry. Now I'm known as mom. Its funny how things change so fast. One morning I was young and reckless the next I was a responsible mother. I remember when he came into my life. His blury sleepy topaz eyes hit my gaze. His cries settled down as I craddled him in my arms, I was so afraid to touch him. He was so fragile I didn't want to brake him with just one touch. I watched him grow, day by day he began to talk and to walk. His laughter roamed around the hole house and I couldn't step into a room without stepping on one of his toys. I couldn't imagen life without him. It was tyiring. Follow him as he leanred to crawl making sure he didn't fall into the fire place. He was a little menace, getting into everything and cause small trouble. As he got older, once he got the walking thing right, he'd sit himself on den's back and ride him around like a pony.

"yes sweetheart?"

He brought up his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He looked to the side of the room, "Mom, can you tell me about the Fullmetal Alchemist?"

I was taken back by his question. "Please mom" his eyes begged me.

How could I say no to those eyes. "Ed, I don't know maybe its best if you went to sleep its very late" I wasn't very excited about spilling Edward's life right there infront of him, I wasn't comfterable with the idea just yet. Though Ed had a right to know about it but I kept my mouth shut.

"aghh, mom, its only 10:00"

How could I tell him? How could I say to him that the Fullmetal Alchemist was his father, that he left before he was even born. How could I lay that on him so quickly. I really didn't know if this was the best thing. Many thoughts plagued my mind, ed soon lost interest in the matter and picked up one of his favorite comic books. I looked at him, his topaz eyes reading over the pictures in the colorful book. he held my knees to my chest. i could feel salty tears swelling up in my eyes. I didn't know edward's words could affect me so badly. I didn't know those eyes would move me. I sighed catching ed's eyes. "Mom"
"Yes?"

He set his comic down, "maybe you should get some rest"

"And how is that?" I asked him being sencere. I didn't much like the idea of my six year old son telling me to go to bed as if i was the child. His topaz eyes looked around making sure he would answer the right answer, "well" he didn't say much after. "I'm waiting" i urged.

Ed laughed nervously, "Mom. You've been extremely busy these last couple of days. Ever since" he hesitated at the name "edward arrived. I know ya haven't slept well and don't try to lie to me and say: 'i'm fine' because i know you're not. Mom go to bed and get some rest please try to relax"

I smiled at him, "Point taken" and kissed his forhead softly. I left the room turning off the lights and shutting the door closed after me. I made my way out into the back porch hoping I would bump into him once again. My heart fluttered with dissapointment as I found the porch to be alone. The stars above were illuminating, showing off their bright colors. How vein. How much like Edward. I rested my elbows on the rail looking out into the road. I thought about ed, what he had said to me just moments ago.

I was astonished by the words he spoke. He was smart for his age but I didn't know he could read my thoughts. True I was extremely tired my eyes were burning with wanted sleep. I lay in bed every night afraid that edward would walk out of his room, snatch ed and run off with him. Stealing him from me. That would be the worst. Though I was amazed at myself for my over-active imagination. I did laughed at myself a bit, torturing myself with the thought that I was turning crazy. It was reckless and childish on my part. I had trusted edward with my life and now having him in the house left me restless. I felt my fingers twinge at the memory of his eyes. Beautiful. So unhuman. Was edward much like a Greek God in my eyes? He was so perfect, so gorgeous he seemed unreal. Though the passion of hate towards him ran through my veins. I wasn't sure how long it would all last before he would return back to his journey or was he here to stay forever? Part of me wanted to cry out if he left once more. I was afraid he would leave me again. How Pathetic. Extremly pathetic. yet there was the other part. the part that wanted to go up to him yelling my heart out. Spilling out words that would shock anyones ears. I wanted to pull him the hair, no, I wanted to stab him. The anger I felt would turn into a dagger. I spoke bravely, though I knew myself enough to know I wasn't capable of doing anything of what I imagened. I sighed heavily the air outside began to chill. Summer was to be over soon and Ed was to return to school. I could see it in his face he wasn't so excited about returning. But I could tell he was tired of moping around and helping me around the shop. I knew his eyes were tired of seeing all the Automail that astonished me so much. He wasn't much like me but more like his father.
My foot tapped against the white rail. My mind was clogged with a lot of thoughts I could not seperate them one by one. My fingers seemed unstaeady and twitched from time to time as if I were to grasp something. I sighed loudly once more. I wondered if edward was sleeping. If he was up in his room resting his beautiful eyes shut. Truelly I always found myself in love with him. I found myself under his spell, something I couldn't escape, something Inevitable.

"Oh Edward how I love you..."



****/****


The morning came quicker than I thought. My head was hidden under my massive white pillow. I wanted the sun to go back down and let me sleep for a couple more hours. I was exhausted, I couldn't even open my eyes. I heard my door creak open and the floor boards squeak under light steps. I immediately knew who it was. A warm smile spread across my face. Soon a small body tackled against my body. "mom! wake up!" ed's small boyish voice rung in my ear. He pulled the pillow off of my head. Jumping excitedly. "mom, c'mon!" he laughed. I opened my eyes and was greeted by his wide grin. "Hey you, you're up early"

He nodded, he looked extremely excited. I rested on my arm turning to him, "What's up then?". he played with his fingers then looked at me with pleading eyes.
"You said you would take me swimming to the lake today" he seemed over excited. "I did?" I asked not even remembering when I had said that, then it came to me, "I did" I stated. My eyes wandered off into something unpleasant. I promised him swimming, when I had forgotten about Edward.

"I invoited edward and alphonse" he smiled, quiet proud if himself. My mouth dropped to the floor. Oh great! Why not kill me already?!

"Uh, sweetheart..." I tried to catch his attention but he jumped off the bed. "I'll go get ready!"

"oh boy..." I sighed "This is going to be a long day...."







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A/N: yes I know this chapter is rather short, well theyre all kinda short but I'll try my best to mkae them even longer. Thanksss.












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