Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Facepaint ❯ Girl Stuff, Guy Stuff ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

FY is still not mine, this is still a yaoi, etc.

AN: The Suzakus at last! This should be funny, Mareu can so think rings around all of them, kakakaka! /me rubs hands together in evil glee... Oi! You! Don't forget to go read the Chapter 8 lemon first if you haven't yet!

Facepaint

by Sunandshadow

Chapter 9 - Girl Stuff, Guy Stuff

Obviously Nakago had multiple motives for choosing me to go spy on the Suzaku seishi. Tamahome hadn't seen me when he was held captive here, but he hadn't seen the twins either, and he certainly had seen Nakago. I was more persuasive and physically stronger than Amiboshi, but also less likely to be trusted because I was an adult and I looked like a hin, even with my hair dyed. On the flip side of that coin though, I had the option of seducing one of them, and he didn't; he had neither the maturity nor the technique for that sort of project.

The emperor was rumored to be very beautiful, and everyone had fallen for Tamahome when he had been in Kutou, so with luck I would even enjoy this mission. I was still definitely not happy about leaving Tomo behind when I had just barely begun to explore the depths of his personality. It was probable that Nakago deliberately wanted to separate us because I compromised Tomo's loyalty to him. Was Nakago actually jealous? Maybe. I was thoroughly curious about Nakago also. I was seriously considering Soi's theory was that Nakago was somehow a version of me - a version that had grown up male in a country at war, without access to much in the way of philosophy or social theory, but still there were underlying similarities. Or rather, I was a version of him, though it galled my ego to phrase it that way.

At any rate, the point was that to get back to Kutou and the people I wanted to study and heal and help, first I had to study and then carefully manipulate these Suzakus so I could carry out my mission and go 'home'. Preferably within two weeks, as I was reminded each time I shifted position and the fabric of my shirt slid painfully over the scratches on my back.

Thus, I sat at a small table in the inn's common room, having breakfast and covertly eyeing the table full of seishi and miko breakfasting on the other side of the room. I had never seen so many beautiful faces in the same place at the same time! Some of them were not my type - the little girl (obviously the miko) and the big guy with the cat - but I could tell people with other tastes would find them attractive. The blue-haired guy was kind of weirdly cute, but the other four… the other four were just breathtaking.

The green-haired one (Tamahome presumably) was clearly taken by the little girl, so I discarded him as a possibility. Plus it would be unwise (to say the least!) to take something Nakago had once wanted badly, maybe still did. That left the red-haired guy, the brown-haired guy (the Emperor?), and a purple-haired girl. Any of them would be interesting… but as I watched them talk and joke with each other the bright personality of the purple-haired girl caught my attention and made me smile. Someone cheerful and playful and softly female would make a nice change from Tomo's shyness, fiery passion, elegant self-control, and edged masculinity. I was decidedly not tired of Tomo yet, and it would feel wrong to take someone at all similar to him as a lover while I planned to return to him, but a taste of a different flavor… that might be okay.

Now, a strategy. First a subtle approach, then a direct approach if subtlety doesn't work. I propped my elbows on the table, cradled my chin in my hands, and stared soulfully at the purple-haired girl. I just watched her, acting love-stricken, and waited for someone to notice.

Eventually, someone did. The blue haired guy noticed me, then leaned over and whispered to the little girl. I took this as my cue to get ready to act, and started concentrating on the memory of feeling embarrassed. The miko looked at me, giggled, and said rather loudly, "Hey Nuriko, it looks like you've got an admirer! And this one's cute too!" causing all of them to swivel in their seats and look at me. I made myself blush, and looked away, then stole a glance back to see what I could read from their expressions. Red-haired guy apparently found the situation hilarious, and his loud teasing was rapidly angering the purple-haired girl. Everyone else looked mildly amused, except for the miko, who looked delighted. The redhaired guy made one more comment, and Nuriko knocked him upside the head, then huffed and sat back down to her breakfast. Ignoring him and me. The miko pouted, and I thought, Hmm, maybe I can use her if she's inclined to meddle… The next time the young girl looked over at me I caught her gaze and secretively beckoned her over. She blinked, then got the idea and grinned, with that special wickedness that only comes of plotting matchmaking.

She stood up and announced, "I'm going to go say hi to him!" Nuriko looked mortified and the others looked a bit shocked, but she ignored them all, marching right over to my table and plunking herself down across from me. "Hi! I'm Yuuki Miaka, nice to meet you!"

I smiled sweetly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miaka. I'm Kuntsu Mareu."

She leaned forward and said knowingly, "You like Nuriko!"

"Is that the purple-haired girl's name? She's very beautiful, and she looks like she has a sweet personality too."

"Um actually… can I tell you a secret?"

I blinked. "Sure!"

She leaned farther forward and whispered, "Don't be mad, but Nuriko's not a girl, he's a guy."

I blink-blinked. Crossdressing Suzaku seishi? How had that little detail not gotten into my briefing, hmm Nakago? I focused on Nuriko once more, ignoring the fact that the others at the table were watching me. I tipped my head sideways and analyzed his figure. It was difficult to see much of anything through the dress he was wearing, but now that I knew to look the telltales were there: angular shoulders, adam's apple, narrow hips, the joints and ligaments of his hand more obvious than they would be on a woman… I turned back to Miaka, still a bit stunned with surprise. "Huh, he is a guy." So much for 'a different flavor', I thought wryly. Although his personality was obviously quite different... and I still needed a reason to join the Suzakus...

Miaka sighed. "Gomen." She started to get up from the table.

"No, wait! Um, I mean, does he… like guys?"

A big grin lit her face and she dropped back into the seat. "Do you?"

"Actually yes, I like both. And I still think he's very beautiful…"

"Lucky!" she exclaimed, holding up her fingers in a 'V for victory'. "I get to play matchmaker! Okay! Now, Nuriko likes boys. He's in love with Hotohori, but Hotohori only likes girls, specifically me even though I like Tamahome, so anyway it's pretty sad and I've been trying to find Nuriko somebody who can like him back…" I blinked and tried to take all that in. Hmm, even better… I love rescuing people from the depths of unrequited love. You could even call it my specialty. Although... it wasn't really a commitment I was free to make right now...

"Who's Hotohori?"

"See the royal-looking guy with the long brown hair?"

'Royal-looking'? Definitely must be the emperor then. Hmm, he seemed like the quiet, dignified type, and being the emperor he was obviously a power-wielding type too… I could act that role for Nuriko, maybe. "Ah, I see him. How can he not like Nuriko?" I wondered petulantly, hamming it up for Miaka. "If Nuriko loved me I would thank my lucky stars!" That brought back a nice memory - Tomo pointing out our constellations in the sky as we sat in the garden a few nights ago. It had been one of those amazing, crisp nights you only get right at the beginning of autumn, the ones where everything smells spicy and interesting and you can't help but feel wonderfully alive... Mmmm... I sighed.

Taking my distraction to be caused by my contemplation of Nuriko's beauty, Miaka replied enthusiastically, "Yatta, I was hoping you would say that! Now we just need a plan to introduce you two!" I dutifully dragged my mind back to the present and tried to think of a plan.

"Hmm, where is your group traveling to? I could join you, for mutual protection, you know? I hear there are bandits around here, and you can always use another sword, right?"

"Wow, you're smart! That's a great idea! C'mon I'll introduce you to everyone and tell them you're traveling with us!" She grabbed my wrist and started hauling me toward the table.

"Uh, right now? Okaaay…"

The eyes of everyone at the table followed us, and as soon as we got within range Hotohori began, in a rather stilted and cultured voice, "Miaka! How many times do we have to tell you not to go charging off like that? How are we supposed to protect you…"

While at the same time Nuriko looked nervously at me, then scowled at Miaka and said, "Baka, what did you tell him?!"

Miaka waved them both off and announced brightly, "Everyone, this is Kuntsu Mareu! He's going to travel with us because together we're all safer from bandits! Not you, Tasuki." Tasuki rolled his eyes. "Mareu, this is Hotohori, Tasuki, Mitsukake, Tama-neko, Chichiri, Tamahome, and Nuriko!" She said Nuriko's name with an enthusiastic flourish that made Nuriko wince and made me wish my little matchmaker had taken some acting lessons. Oh well, you take what help you can get.

"Hello." I purred, looking at Nuriko, (oh, he was pretty up close!) then said more generally, "Miaka invited me to travel with you, I hope no one minds." I rubbed the back of my neck, looking slightly embarrassed.

Hotohori had one eyebrow arched. "I suppose you might as well travel with us, if you're going the same direction."

Heh, he must want me to distract Nuriko from him. Now why does this situation seem familiar, I wonder? "Thank you." I accepted his agreement gracefully and pulled another chair up to the table between Nuriko and Tasuki.

Chichiri was frowning thoughtfully at me. "Miaka," he said slowly, "Would you look at your mirror please, no da?"

"My mirror? It's upstairs, can I look at it after breakfast?"

"I suppose…" he said doubtfully.

Mirror? I wondered, then shrugged it off.

Tamahome asked Miaka, "So what were you two talking about?"

"Oh, girl stuff." replied Miaka breezily. Tamahome raised an eyebrow.

I coughed in pretended embarrassment. Actually not so pretended, as I had always been a tomboy and it wasn't until I was seventeen (apparently it's common for bisexuals to be late bloomers, while homosexuals tend to be early bloomers, something to do with hormone balances) that I found myself able to discuss 'girl stuff' without grimacing. I still dislike the color pink. All of which was probably why I made a half-decent guy now, even if I did have a serious weakness for shopping. "So, ah… are we leaving after breakfast?"

"Hai, that's the plan." replied Hotohori, keeping one eye curiously on Nuriko.

"I'm going to kill Miaka…" muttered Nuriko.

"Oh, don't be mad at her - it was mostly my idea." I said charmingly, putting one elbow on the table and angling my body so my whole attention was focused on Nuriko.

Suddenly Tasuki asked loudly, "Miaka, did you tell him…?"

Miaka was busy eating, but after a moment she swallowed and said chirpily, "Of course!"

"K'so." said Tasuki, surprised.

Nuriko started, and blink-blinked. "Wait… you did tell him?!?" His eyes widened and he looked at me.

I smiled lazily. "Mmm-hmm!"

Nuriko's expression shifted to one that said 'Help!'. He looked to Hotohori, but the emperor was pointedly examining his manicured nails. I began to feel a little sorry for Nuriko. Sorry for all of these Suzakus, really - they seemed to have gotten shorted a bit in the maturity department. Nakago, Tomo, and Soi acted like they'd lived lifetimes longer than these people, not just a few years.

Tasuki grumbled, "Ch', great, now I have ta deal with two of 'em?!"

Nuriko's eyes narrowed and he stood up. "Tasuki no baka! That's rude!"

"What, 'fraid I'll scare 'im away?" Tasuki stood up also, taking a fighting stance and grinning tauntingly at Nuriko.

I mentally compared him to Nakago and had to snort a laugh. "Oh, trust me, it would take a lot more than you to scare me away."

Tasuki spun to face me, suddenly looking less friendly. "Ya think I'm not scary?" He smirked, showing his fangs. "I guess I'll jus' have to scare ya a little then!" As he finished his sentence he whipped a fan-like object from his back. "Rekka…!"

At this point, several things happened at once: Nuriko's eyes widened and he leapt forward, clapping his hand over Tasuki's mouth, red symbol glowing through the shoulder of his dress; Tamahome also leaped forward, clapping his hand over Nuriko's hand over Tasuki's mouth, red symbol glowing on his forehead; and I instinctively disappeared the fan thing from Tasuki's hands to my own. I could feel my own seishi symbol burning, but between the collar of my shirt and my heavy necklace no blue light escaped into the room.

"Tasuki you aho!" shouted Tamahome. "No flame throwing indoors! Do you know how much the repairs cost last time?!?"

"Or at civilians!" added Chichiri.

"Mmph umph mmph!" Tasuki tried to shout, gesturing at the fact that I had his fan thing. I took a moment to examine it. The edge was sharpened like that of a sword, and it was clearly a weapon, but I wasn't quite sure how one would wield it or what it had to do with flamethrowing. Interesting...

"Tasuki, if I let you go can you refrain from torching anything?"

Tasuki nodded hurriedly, and Tamahome and Nuriko let him loose. "Gimmie back my tessen!" He lunged for me and Nuriko and Tamahome immediately caught him again. "Lemme go you #$%^$ #%$&ing #$#$%^!"

Nuriko blinked at the tessen that was undeniably in my hands. "Anou… how did you get the tessen?"

I smiled smugly. "He's not the only one who knows a little magic. Anyway, he can have it back if he promises not to attack me at least until we get outside. I wouldn't mind dueling, but it's bad policy to make enemies of innkeepers."

"K'so! I'll leave ya alone, just gimmie my tessen back!"

Nuriko and Tamahome released him once more, and I handed him the tessen. He grumbled, but folded and sheathed it.

"Well, I can see traveling with this party is going to be an adventure." I chuckled and stood up from the table. "An adventure I must prepare for. I'll meet you all at the stables." I gave Nuriko a smile, and made my suave exit upstairs.

* * *

Meanwhile, downstairs several conversations had started simultaneously.

Nuriko growled, "Miaka, we are going to have a little chat right now!" and hauled Miaka off into a corner of the room.

Hotohori warily watched Nuriko pass by and decided it would be much safer to be upstairs packing than anywhere near that conversation, so he left, as did Mitsukake.

Tamahome asked the others, "That guy reminds me of someone. Does he look familiar to any of you guys?"

Tasuki joked, "Well he's got your hair, maybe he's a relative?"

Tamahome grimaced and shook his head. "No, it's not his hair that looks familiar, it's how tall he is, the fair skin, the face shape…"

"What color does it seem like his hair ought to be, no da?" asked Chichiri intently.

"Uhh… A very light color… a light… yellow?!" Tamahome's eyes widened. "Oh shit. Imagine him with blond hair and blue eyes."

"Nakago… they do look similar, but his chi patterns are different, no da. And his eyes aren't blue, and eye color is not something you can change without magic that I'd be able to detect." Chichiri shook his head. "He probably just has some hin blood, no da."

"Yeah, you're right. Damn, could you ever imagine Nakago laughing like Mareu was? He wouldn't do that in a million years." Tamahome chuckled.

"Jus' great. So now we have to travel with Nakago's cousin the okama who can swipe my tessen any time he pleases. K'so. I'm going upstairs to pack."

"How did he get your tessen anyway, no da? I wish I would have been watching…"

"I dunno, one second it was in my hands and the next it was in his, without him even moving."

Tamahome chuckled. "You know Tasuki, you better stay on his good side. If he can disappear your tessen there's a good chance he could disappear something more important…"

"What could be more important than my tessen?"

"Oh, say, your clothes…"

Tasuki blanched. "$%^& of a &#% #&%!" Tamahome doubled over with laughter.

"Seriously no da," said Chichiri, "There's a good possibility that he might be our last seishi, which is probably reason enough to stay on his good side. I didn't mention it before because I didn't want Miaka ripping his clothes off na no da."

"You think he's a seishi?! Oh #$&#, that means we're stuck with him!" grumped Tasuki.

"Maybe, no da. He has as much chi as a seishi; its pattern is kind of strange, but then all of us have unique chi patterns that go with our different abilities, no da. And he did seem very intelligent - Chiriko is supposed to be the seishi of knowledge." Chichiri shrugged. "We'll know as soon as Miaka gets her mirror out. Meanwhile, we need to pack, na no da." They went upstairs.

At the other end of the inn's common room, Nuriko and Miaka were having their 'nice little chat' in the corner.

"Ok Miaka, I wanna know exactly what in the heck you said to him, and I wanna know RIGHT NOW."

Miaka blink-blinked. "Uh, I told him you're a guy and he said that was ok, he liked both."

Nuriko paused, looked flummoxed. "Honto? He just came right out and admitted that?"

"Yep! Aaaand he said that you were beautiful!" Nuriko turned pink. "Oh, and we agreed that Hotohori is an idiot not to like you. That was about it."

"NANI?! You told him I liked Hotohori?!"

"Well, you do."

"Yes, but… argh! Miaka, you can't just go around picking up guys for me!"

"Why not? Don't you think he's cute?"

"Anou, well… that's not the point!"

"Sure it is! If I get a cute boyfriend you deserve to have one too. So are you going to thank me or not?"

Nuriko buried his face in his hands. "Suzaku save me from matchmaking mikos…" He took a deep breath, then released it with a huff. "Allright Miaka. Thank you. But, don't do any more, okay? Onegai? Let me handle it."

"You're going to be nice to him then? You're not going to try to ignore him?"

"Miaka…!" whined Nuriko. "I want to ignore him. If I don't pay much attention to him he'll figure out I can't like him and go away."

"Whadda you mean, you can't like him? Why not?"

"Because he's not Hotohori!" Nuriko sounded agonized.

Miaka blinked. "But… You're not even going to give him a chance?"

Nuriko sighed heavily. "I just… I don't think I can."

Miaka pouted. "Mou… Well, if you can't, you can't. But you ought to try. At least talk to him, see what he's like. It's only fair, don't you think?"

"Yes… it wouldn't really be fair not to talk to him…" Nuriko sighed again.

"Oh, cheer up, it can't be that bad spending a few days talking to a cute guy."

Nuriko blinked. "Well, I suppose if you look at it that way… Well all right. We need to go get packed or the others are going to leave without us. But from now on, definitely no picking guys up for me, got it?"

"Haihai." Miaka, anxious not to be the one making everybody late, took Nuriko's wrist and started hauling him up the stairs, her childish enthusiasm bringing a small smile back to his face despite his inner turmoil.

AN: I really have no idea where the plot should go to get Mareu back to Kutou. Anyone want to suggest something? I'll definitely get some alcohol in there somewhere, though. ^_~