Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Night Hours ❯ One-Shot

Author's Note: The characters here are Nakago and Soi, presumably some time before episode 45. This fic is in Soi's POV, and contains what I think might have been her thoughts on Nakago, her past and her memories. Soi is a character I did not always appreciate, but I love Nakago, and she might well have been the one person he was still capable of loving.

Night Hours

If I think about it too much, I might start crying. It is dark here in the tent yet I can see the red light of the campfires glowing outside. The light is barely there, out of my grasp, but it still reminds me of its existence. Teases me with knowledge of what I cannot have, what I cannot be.

I can hear the sounds of the soldiers celebrating our victory over Konan earlier. Laughter and loud talking, the tent's thin walls cannot stop them, just as the thin walls of my room could not when I was young, and those distant lights and noises turned what should have been beautiful into something ugly and wrong.

He must know what I am thinking. He knows what I was. But…am I so different, now? He comes to me when he wants me to please him, which I do gladly. He is my handsome knight, the one who saved me from even further suffering.

Sometimes the doubts are too strong in my mind to be dismissed easily. He does not love me. This is not what I once dreamed of and still do. This is the same, a dark place where I exist as nothing more than a body. Even though the man touching me is my love, my life, I am still…

He sees me so clearly I cannot hide a thing. He holds me closer and his touch turns even more possessive, making it hard for me to think and remember. Slowly, as it always happens, he is becoming my world, chasing away all those memories in the back of my head with a demanding kiss, a precisely placed caress, a deep thrust.

"Soi…" My name on his lips is what I live for. "You are...distracted?"

"No," I start, and then moan when he holds me tighter. "You." I grip his shoulders, trying to pull him even closer. The sheer pleasure of this joining is clouding my mind. The distant red lights fade from my awareness. "You make me forget." I whisper it so softly I do not know whether he has heard.

Then even the noises from outside are gone, for he takes me fast and rough, and there is nothing in my world except the two of us, so perfect together that I can almost believe in happy endings, in my childish dream becoming true.

After, I still lie in his arms, tracing patterns over his broad back and shoulders, my breathing slowing down to its usual pace.

He makes the memories go away. For that alone I could love him. For that I will love him, no matter what he does, because in the night hours heaven is mine at his touch.