Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ The Girl Who Didn't Believe ❯ Getting Over The Past ( Chapter 22 )

The Girl Who Didn't Believe

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the FY characters. They belong to Yuu Watase. I do own Kitten and Sable though.

`…' = thoughts

//…// = telepathic conversation

########## = at another place

^^^^^^^^^^ = recall

********** = dream sequence

@@@@@@@@@@ = mirror projection

That's all, minna-san!! Enjoy!!

Chapter 22-Getting Over The Past

The ride back to Kamui's mansion was an extremely awkward one.

Tasuki was fuming over the `inappropriate' nickname that Kamui had given Sable. Kitten was kept busy calming the irate redhead down. She kept her own counsel, though.

Chichiri, on the other hand, was the direct opposite of his fiery-tempered friend. He looked unnaturally calm.

Kamui had a bored look on his face but sharp blue eyes missed nothing.

Sable was…sleeping.

Again.

Tasuki looked across the carriage to see the slumbering brunette. He rolled his eyes with exasperation.

"How can Sable sleep in a time like this? Kami-sama, she just slept in the palace, didn't she?"

Kitten sweatdropped and turned chibi.

"Heheheh…" The blue-haired girl suddenly looked very interested in her fingernails. "Sable might be my best friend, but she is not perfect, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

Huge chibified amethyst eyes stared at Kamui.

Kitten popped back to normal size.

"Sable loves to sleep. That is her hobby. Literally."

Tasuki facefaulted.

"Some hobby." The redhead righted himself. "Can't she choose some other more interesting hobbies?"

Kitten did not like people to make fun of her friend. In her opinion, Sable is too fragile and sensitive to be teased about her unusual habit.

"Yeah?" The girl asked her koi in dangerous tone. Tasuki, as usual, looked past it. "Like what? Would beating the heck out of loudmouthed, redheaded bandit seishi do?"

Tasuki got the point. He shut up.

The carriage pulled to a gentle stop.

In a matter of moments, the driver opened the door and he bowed respectfully to the occupants of said carriage.

"We have arrived at the manor, minna-san."

Kamui nodded. He turned to his side where Sable was still sleeping peacefully and was about to scoop the girl up when Tasuki stopped him.

"Oi, Kamui. Are you sure that we should allow you to bring Sable to her room? After all, the two of you are sort of together…" He wriggled his eyebrows comically. "Who knows what you might do to her?"

Kamui did not look ruffled by Tasuki's suggestive comment. Instead, he switched his attention to Chichiri.

Smiling inwardly, the blonde thought, `No doubt that I am probably going to regret this but…'

"Chichiri."

The blue-haired seishi turned his head.

"Hai, Kamui, no da?"

Kamui left Sable's side with lingering regret and alighted from the carriage.

"Since Tasuki is so suspicious of my motives in bringing Sable to her room, I'd appreciate it if you were to do me a favor and see my hime back to her sleeping quarters safely."

That sentence caused three different reactions.

"NANI, no da?!"

"Kamui, are you sure?"

And lastly…

"How many times must I tell you to stop calling Sable that? She is not your princess!!"

That remark earned the bandit simultaneous whacks on the head with a certain staff and a fist.

"Itai…"

A chibified Tasuki rubbed his head, with round goose eggs popping up like daisies in a field.

Kamui's lips twitched. He did not have to punish the redhead for his unseemly comments; people seemed to do that favor for him all the time. However, he decided to give the seishi a taste of his own medicine this time.

"So, Chichiri, can you help me?"

Chichiri looked at Kamui frantically.

"Can I refuse, no da? Get Tasuki to do it, no da."

Tasuki, after a few threatening pokes from Kitten, spoke up.

"Iie, Chiri. I can't. I am gonna have to see Kit back to her room too, ne?" He grinned a fang grin at his friend's obvious misery and proceeded to stroll out of the courtyard with Kitten.

Chichiri turned back to Kamui, his only hope.

"Kamui, why don't you carry Sable and I will follow you both as a chaperon, no da?"

The blonde was walking behind the other couple.

"Gomen ne, Chichiri, I cannot go with you. After all, we all know that Tasuki and Kitten are an item, ne?"

Tasuki heard.

He turned around to glare at Kamui, who was looking back at him with mild indifference.

"And your point is?" he challenged Kamui.

Kamui smiled. This is too easy.

"As your host and the owner of this house, I believe that it is my duty to make sure that the unwedded ladies here would not end up in a compromising position that would make others question about their dignity."

Kitten flushed.

"What are you implying, Kamui?"

Tasuki was just as red. He realized that he had just fallen for Kamui's neatly executed trick.

"In other words, Kitten, I will follow the both of you to your room, then make sure that Tasuki return to his and not have any funny ideas."

"What are you talking about, blondie!! Ore wa…ore wa am not like that!!" Tasuki sputtered.

"Nonetheless…better to be safe than sorry. Let's go."

Kamui took a surprised Kitten by the hand and started walking into the house.

"Anou…Kamui, no da?" The blue-haired seishi tried again.

Kamui stopped and turned around to face Chichiri.

Blue eyes met brown ones.

"I know that you are not going to do anything to Sable. After all, you have given up, right? Besides…"

Tasuki had hurried up to the pair. He snatched Kitten's hand from the blonde, glaring furiously at said man all the time.

"Besides what?"

"Besides…" Kamui ignored Tasuki who had asked the question but continued maintaining his stare at Chichiri.

"I trust you."

##########

^^^^^^^^^^

`I trust you.'

^^^^^^^^^^

`What was Kamui thinking?' Chichiri was very confused. `Why is he doing this? I have all but washed my hands off Sable…is he trying to rub it in?'

Chichiri looked down at his precious burden.

Sable's face was tucked snugly into his chest and her hands were loosely holding on to his shoulder.

`Hime.'

Chichiri repeated the word over and over in his head.

"He called you princess, ne, Sable? And it is an appropriate nickname for you."

Chichiri continued speaking softly to himself.

"You are a princess, and it would be impossible for someone like me to be with you. You deserve better, like Kamui."

##########

"He called you princess, ne, Sable? And it is an appropriate nickname for you."

Sable awoke to a gentle voice. Her lashes fluttered open to see Chichiri carrying her. Immediately, she stiffened slightly but luckily, the seishi had not felt it.

`What did he mean?' The brunette thought, for she had heard his words. She decided to keep quiet to listen to what else that he might say.

"You are a princess, and it would be impossible for someone like me to be with you. You deserve better, like Kamui."

She was surprised, to say the least.

But Chichiri was not done yet.

"You deserve someone who is not spoiled, not scarred by his past."

She could not take those words any longer. Chichiri's voice was tinged with pain and regret.

"Iie."

Chichiri could not believe his ears. He thought that he had just heard a voice.

"Iie." The voice was stronger now.

The blue-haired seishi stiffened.

`Sable.'

"Shimatta."

He looked down cautiously at his load. Bright green eyes were staring up at him, and he was a goner.

He wondered vaguely why the brunette had such a hold on him. Shaking his head slightly, he broke the eye contact.

"Anou…have you heard what I said just now?"

Her fingers tightened their hold on his shirt.

"Hai."

"Sou ka." He did not know what to say.

The pair continued down the hallway in silence.

Sable was getting angry.

`I see…that's all that he is planning to say?'

She reckoned that she would have to be the one to make the first move.

"Yes, Chichiri, I heard what you said. And it is not true."

"N…nani?"

Sable struggled to be let down, but the man merely tightened his hold on her.

Turning red, she answered, "I am not a princess. I am not as fragile or as precious as you think."

Silence.

Sable's words were met with silence.

The brunette turned her head up to look at Chichiri.

And was hurt by the indifference she saw there.

"Why are you telling me this, Sable?"

Chichiri nonchalantly continued the walk back to the girl's room.

His nonchalance belied all the nervousness and the undying hope that he felt deep inside his heart.

Sable was very determined now.

She knew from past experience that Chichiri was as usual, putting on an emotionless mask for her benefit.

To deter her.

This time, however, she refused to be put off.

Closing her eyes, she thought, `It is now or never. I am going to bet my entire happiness on this night. If I lose, I will never speak of us again.' Immediately, she felt disheartened.

`But if I win…'

She opened her eyes.

`If I win…the happiness that I would gain would be beyond my wildest imagination…'

It was time.

"Chichiri."

The man flicked a carefully made up look of disinterest at Sable.

"Yes?" It sounded deliberately bored.

Sable gritted her teeth and plunged on. She swore that Chichiri was so going to pay for all the emotional damages that he had inflicted on her.

"Thank you, Chichiri, for the marvelous performance, but you may stop the pretense of trying to be an uncaring block of ice."

Of all the remarks that Sable might come out with, he had not expected that. In fact, he had thought that Sable would be hurt by his callous responses.

"Na…Nani!! What are you talking about?" He was completely thrown off course. He tried desperately to put the placid look back on his face but it was too late.

Sable had seen it all.

"As I said, you can stop trying to pretend that you don't give a damn, Chichiri. I was foolish enough to fall for that trick once, but I won't fall for it twice."

`Especially when so much is at stake.' A determined voice rang out in her head.

"How do you know that I am bluffing?"

Sable smiled. She had expected that. But before she answered…

"Stop!! What are you doing?!!"

Too late again.

As Chichiri's hands were occupied carrying the girl, there is no way that he could prevent her from removing his mask.

Sable tossed the dratted thing behind her, much to Chichiri's protests.

"They say that the eyes are windows to the soul. I want to see to your eye when I am talking to you."

"As for you previous question," She looked straight into his eye when she answered. "I know that you are not the kind of person to hurt another with malicious intent. The only reason you'd do it is because you think that you are not worthy of me. What you said earlier had more or less confirmed my thoughts. You are never malevolent, Chichiri. I know that because it is the reason why I fell in love with you, and it is also why I will always love you."

Chichiri reared back at the girl's confession. Of course, he did not manage to put some distance between himself and the brunette at all, seeing that he was carrying her.

He was not really shocked.

After all, almost everyone had told him that Sable loved him. Kouji did, Kitten did and Tasuki had all but pounded that information into his head. Everyone had told him that but Sable. She had never really admitted nor denied, but somehow, he knew of her feelings for him.

`Shimatta,' he thought. `This is my biggest nightmare come true. Who am I supposed to choose? Sable or Kouran?'

He was getting panicked.

But then, another voice from deep inside him answered.

`Come on, Chichiri. Admit it, this is not only your biggest nightmare; it is your greatest hope too. You have already decided whom to choose a long time ago. Your heart had chosen already, that is. But your mind just did not accept that choice. Now is the chance for your head to see the light, and you damned well know it. Don't mess it up this time, Chichiri.'

Chichiri shook his head. He could not believe what his common sense had just told him.

`What is that supposed to mean?' He yelled inside, but there was no reply.

Sable was looking at him placidly.

Her face was schooled into a calm facade but in actuality her insides were quivering with anxiety and nervousness.

`What if he rejects me? What would I do then? In despair, what would I do?' Sable pushed those distressing thoughts away.

`Iie, I must not think of that now…I will think of that when it happens…IF it happens.'

They were at the entrance of Sable's room. They had been there for the past fifteen minutes.

Chichiri did not know what to do.

What to say.

Who to choose.

He settled for the coward's way out at last.

Abruptly, he deposited Sable at the entrance of her room.

The brunette gasped at the sudden move but steadied herself.

"Chichiri…"

"Anou…it is late, I have to go…"

Before she could say anything else, he had fled.

With a heavy heart, Sable turned and escaped into the confines of her room.

What was the verdict then?

Had she lost or had she won?

Chichiri had given her no answers.

Sable sat on her bed and looked at the floor.

She had told Chichiri what was in her heart but he had not reciprocated her feelings.

In other words, she had lost.

She had taken a gamble.

And lost.

`My last chance, and I ruined it. Maybe Chichiri is right after all, maybe we are just not fated to be.' She clenched her fingers. `In that case, I WILL get over him now. There is no hope. At least Kamui would be glad…'

Sable was firm in her conviction, but that did not stop her tears from flowing.

She cried herself to sleep that night.

##########

Chichiri was in his room, lying on his bed. Needless to say, he could not sleep. He had been tossing and turning for half the night already.

In fact, he feared sleep, for sleeping would mean dreams, and the dreams that he had were not pleasant. They were always of the same dream, of Kouran and Sable and him, and he always had to choose between the two of them. It was extremely distressing and stressful, to say the least.

Another thing was that he still had not figure out what his instincts were trying to tell him earlier.

^^^^^^^^^^

`You have already decided whom to choose a long time ago. Your heart had chosen already, that is. But your mind just did not accept that choice.'

^^^^^^^^^^

`What is that supposed to mean?' Chichiri thought, confused. `I have already made my choice, and it was Kouran. I have already accepted her, in heart and in mind.'

Chichiri pondered that mystery deeply until sleep claimed him.

**********

"Chichiri!!"

Chichiri turned around just in time to catch a petite woman in his arms.

"Kouran!! What are you doing here?"

Kouran looked up with eyes filled with love.

"Isn't the fact that I'm here enough, my love?"

Chichiri nodded and he hugged the tiny woman to him. How he loved her unique scent, which smelt of home and hearth. He sighed contentedly.

Opening his eye, he looked around. They were in a forest glade. On their left, was a tiny stream, and beyond the stream was…

Chichiri started.

Beyond the stream was Sable. The brunette was looking straight at him, heartbreak and despair evident in bright green eyes that refused to cry. Sable's mouth moved then, and although he and Kouran were standing far away, he could still hear what she was saying.

"Don't you have any feelings for me at all?"

Chichiri was torn. He did not know what to do. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his sleeves. He looked down into Kouran's beautiful doe eyes.

"Who is that woman, Chichiri? She doesn't mean anything to you, does she?"

`Does Sable mean anything to me?' he wondered. `Demo, what about Kouran? I loved her. I SHOULD love her. I cannot be unfaithful. I have no choice. Sou ka…my mind is made up.'

Mutely, he shook his head, his eyes silently conveying all his apologies to Sable.

`Gomen nasai, Sable. Kouran is my love, always has been and always will be…' he thought as he bent down to kiss Kouran on the lips.

"Aishiteru." He whispered against Kouran's lips and at that moment, he did not know to whom were those words directed at.

The tears started then.

They formed rivulets on Sable's cheeks. Helpless, he watched as the girl turned and ran headfirst into the forest.

Then the screams started.

Tortured, anguished cries of fear and terror echoed in the glade.

"Sable." He said even as he automatically started to disentangle himself from Kouran's clingy embrace.

`Clingy?' he thought. When had he started thinking of Kouran's beloved embrace as clingy?

"Chichiri," Kouran cried, her hold on Chichiri tightened. "Where are you going?"

The screams were receding, weakened.

"Sable. Sable is in trouble. I have to go and help."

"IIE!! IIE!! Why must you go?" Kouran all but clamped herself to Chichiri.

Her voice turning soft, she asked:

"Don't you love me?"

Chichiri froze. Didn't he love Kouran?

//Yeah,// the same voice whispered in his head. //Who do you love now? Make your choice NOW, Chichiri; the brunette is not going to hold out any longer.//

The seishi was very panicked now.

He knew that making a wrong choice now would prove to be fatal for Sable.

He closed his eyes.

`Kami-sama, how the heck am I supposed to choose?'

The voice came again.

//Who is the person that comes to mind immediately whenever you are in deep thoughts?//

`Sable.'

//Who do you think of before you sleep and right after you awake?//

`Sable.'

//Then what about Kouran?//

"Kouran…Kouran…" Chichiri stammered.

//I think that you have already got your answer, Chichiri.//

Chichiri was stumped. What answers?

//I ask you one more time,// the voice sounded more and more exasperated and at the same time, more and more familiar to Chichiri. He was very sure that he heard that voice somewhere before. //Who is your choice?//

The blue-haired seishi felt himself stiffening up again.

`My choice?'

The voice sighed.

//Yes, Chichiri, please pay attention; you don't have much time. Sable needs your help now.//

`Shimatta. Sable, I forgot about her.'

He started towards the forest but found himself immobile. Looking down, he saw Kouran.

`Shimatta. I forgot about Kouran too.'

//Don't you understand, Chichiri? You have to make a choice!!//

Saying that the voice was getting royally pissed off was an understatement.

`Kouran is already in my past; keeping her so close to my heart would do nothing but hurt those around me and myself. Furthermore, didn't I make a promise to let Kouran and Hikou rest in peace? Why am I still holding on to her? It is time to let her go and concentrate on who is really here now.'

He shut his eye and a familiar looking brunette appeared in his mind; her aqueous green eyes shiny with the tears that she tried so hard to hold back.

The answer came to him and with it, a sense of well-being. His instincts told him without doubt that he had chosen correctly this time around.

`I am such a baka,' he thought ruefully. `So wrapped up with the past that I almost did not see the gift that the present had chosen to give me.'

//SO WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE, CHICHIRI!! YOU ARE REALLY RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!! THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR DEEP THOUGHTS!! SABLE IS STILL IN DANGER, YOU KNOW?!!//

Chichiri sweatdropped. He is now really sure that he had heard that voice before. His sweatdrop disappeared almost as quickly as it appeared when he remembered the seriousness of the situation.

He braced himself for what he had to do next.

Chichiri looked down at Kouran and firmly disentangled himself from her.

"Chichiri…" Sweet doe eyes regarded him with adoration.

Chichiri hardened himself from her look.

"Kouran," He lifted a hand to push away some strands of hair from her face. "Gomen, demo I have to move on. It is no way for me to live my entire life pining after you. Already, I have spent nine years holding your memories close. It is time to let you go…it is unfair for the two of us…furthermore, you should find happiness for yourself too, ne? Demo," he continued. "I will never forget you; a part of my heart will always remember and be thankful for the time that the both of us have shared."

Chichiri honestly expected to get a smack on his face for his words, and he braced himself for them.

But they never came. Instead a gentle hand touched the side of his face.

Surprised, he looked down to see Kouran's gently smiling face.

"Chichiri, I know that this time would come and I have been expecting it for a long time. Your heart already knew the person whom you love and you just stubbornly refused to believe it. I am really happy for you, that you have finally found the courage to confront me, to confront your past. I am glad that you'd remember me with fondness. Most of all," she dropped her hand. "I am glad that you have become the man that you are now."

Chichiri was touched.

"Kouran…arrigato." He reached out to touch the girl, but she stepped back briskly.

"Enough, Chichiri. Your koi is waiting for you. She needs you now. Don't keep her waiting. Farewell, and I wish the two of you everlasting happiness."

With a slight wave of her hand, Kouran faded from the glade.

Chichiri smiled softly.

It felt good to be finally at peace with his past.

A whimper pierced the relative peacefulness of the forest, and the man's smile turned into a frown. He leapt across the stream easily and ran into the forest path that Sable had rushed into earlier.

He skidded to a stop at another clearing and saw Sable smack dab in the middle. The brunette was crouched in a fetal position and he saw tear-tracks staining her face.

It made him feel guilty as hell to know that he was the one who caused her such misery.

`Demo, never mind,' he said optimistically. `Sable is very forgiving; she'll forgive my stupidity and I swear that I'll spent the rest of my life making that up to her.' Chichiri promised himself.

Unbeknownst to him, he was just about to break this newly made promise.

Suddenly, Chichiri heard Sable give out the heart-wrenching whimper again. He looked up just in time to see a barrage of arrows directed at the brunette.

Cursing himself for not checking the surrounding for any signs of danger, Chichiri was on the move.

He stepped in the line of fire to create a magical barrier.

However, the arrows past through the barrier with ease and preceded him.

`Strange,' he thought. `Why did none of the arrows touch me at all?'

//Because these arrows represent the hurt that you have done to Sable. This is what she has to endure whenever you hurt her.//

Chichiri understood and his guilt increased.

That was a lot of arrows.

Almost immediately he turned back to the girl in another attempt to shield her from the arrows.

However, the distance was too great, and even when he knew that he would never reach her in time, he did not falter.

He was right; he did not make it.

Grimacing, he braced himself to listen to the sickening sound of arrows burying themselves deep into flesh.

He did not hear them.

`What happened? Did the arrows somehow deflect?'

He looked up and saw…

Kamui.

Somehow, he had managed to appear in time to protect Sable.

As usual.

He was standing in front of the brunette and was expertly using his sword to deflect the arrows directed at the pair.

At last, all the arrows were deflected and Chichiri was about to make his way to Sable when Kamui extended his hand to help Sable up.

Kamui pulled her up beside him.

"Doushite? Why are you here, Kamui?" Chichiri heard the brunette ask.

The man lowered his head and touched his forehead with hers.

Chichiri stiffened.

`How dare he!!' The Suzaku seishi huffed indignantly with growing jealousy.

Kamui's next few words to Sable were so soft that Chichiri had to strain hard to hear them.

"Because I cannot bear to see you hurt. Always remember that I will protect you no matter what happens, my hime."

**********

Chichiri sprang up from his bed. Panting hard, he looked at his surroundings and remembered that he had been sleeping.

`A dream, I have been dreaming…demo, why did it felt so real?'

Chichiri did not know what was going on.

But one thing he knew for certain:

`Kamui, watch out, for I am going to fight you for Sable.'

Heh. Chapter 22 end.

I know that you readers are very impatient to see Chichiri and Sable together. Some of you are even getting downright bored by all the previous chapters…Well, all I can tell you is to please be patient…onegai? Arrigato gozaimasu!!

One last thing…can you guess who is talking in Chichiri's head? Heheh…

I also know that some of you do not really understand the Japanese words that I have used. For that, I apologize and I will try to come out with a mini-translation corner in the next chapter. So, look for out for that.

Lastly, thanks to all my reviewers!! Arrigato gozamasu!! Please press the little nice button at the bottom and help review this chapter!! I will be waiting for all your comments!! ^^