Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ The Little... Umm... ❯ Part 1 ( Chapter 1 )

The Little… Umm…

By Asteria

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, The Little Mermaid or just about anything else. People are going to be kind of OOC, but it's a parody, what do you expect? Caution: contains mad spoilers.

*****

*****

Asteria: Hooray! For my first Fushigi Yuugi fic, I'm doing… A PARODY! YAY!

Mitsukake: We're doomed.

Asteria: Aww, this isn't too bad. It's just The Little Mermaid… only there aren't actually any mermaids, so I had to improvise.

Chiriko: Oh, thank Suzaku. I thought it would be about me… You didn't leave me out, did you? I'm always left out because I'm the youngest and I'm not a bishonen like Chichiri or Tamahome and authors never know what to do with me! *sob*

Asteria: Don't worry, Chiriko-chan, you're one of my Favorites. You have a part. Ano… would you like a cookie?

Chiriko: *sniffle* yes please.

Asteria gives Chiriko a Chocolate Crème Oreo (the only kind of cookies I have right now)

Asteria: Don't let Miaka see that or she'll want one too.

Chiriko nods and eats his cookie very fast.

Asteria pulls out her megaphone. Actually, it's just a piece of construction paper that's been colored on, then rolled and taped into a vaguely megaphone-like shape.

Asteria: Okay, minna-san! Are we ready?

Minna: (unenthusiastically) Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Asteria: Alright! Cue intro music!

Amiboshi: That's me, right?

Asteria: *sweatdrop* Yes, Amiboshi-chan. That's your cue.

Amiboshi: Gotcha.

Amiboshi begins playing "Part Of That World" on his flute.

Asteria: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful country called Kounan, ruled by a beautiful Emperor called Hotohori.

enter Hotohori, in his fancy robes (but not the hat, because he looks better with his hair loose), followed by Tamahome, who is carrying a rather large mirror.

Hotohori: *ahem* Mirror, mirror on the wall…

Tamahome: Hotohori? Two things: first, wrong story. Second, DO I LOOK LIKE A WALL TO YOU?

Asteria: *groan* Hotohori-sama, can you please stick to the script?… Unless, of course, you _want_ the Disney ending…

Hotohori: *sweatdrop* We'll be good.

Nuriko: Meanie.

Asteria: Let's keep going, please. Now, one member of the court was a very handsome young man called Nuriko.

enter Nuriko, in his traveling (read: male) clothes, with his hair in a braid.

Asteria: Nuriko was in love with Hotohori, but it wouldn't have worked out because Hotohori was straight.

Nakago: Does narcissistic count as straight or gay?

Hotohori levels his sword at Nakago's throat.

Asteria: Boys, play nice. Don't make me get the mallet.

Hotohori reluctantly lowers his sword, but he and Nakago continue to glare at each other. Neither does anything more than glare, though, for fear of being whomped with a Hyperdimensional Mallet of Doom.

Asteria: Nuriko had two best friends, Miaka and Chiriko.

enter Miaka and Chiriko, both in their normal clothes. Miaka is eating donuts from a paper bag.

Vash the Stampede (off): WHO STOLE MY DONUTS?!?!

Nuriko: Ano, Miaka-chan, maybe you should give the scary gunfighter back his donuts.

Miaka: But I'm hungry!

Asteria: Please, let's just keep going.

silence

Asteria: Nuriko-chan, it's your line.

Nuriko: Oh, right. Sorry. *ahem* I'm so sad. Hotohori-sama doesn't love me. *sniffle* Miaka-chan, Chiriko-kun, what do you think I should do? Is there a way to make him love me, or do I have to, to, *sniffle* abandon a-all hope that… *bursts into tears*

Miaka and Chiriko: *sweatdrop*

Hotohori approaches, followed by Tamahome, who is still lugging around the mirror.

Hotohori: Good day, Nuriko. Is something wrong?

Nuriko: *crying too hard to say his line*

Hotohori: *sweatdrop*… Right… Well, come along, Tamahome. The light in the South garden is ideal this time of day.

Hotohori leaves, only to realize that Tamahome is not following him.

Hotohori: Tamahome?

Tamahome: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome…

Tamahome: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome…

Tamahome: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome…

Asteria: Great. Somebody get the hose.

Tasuki: Wait. I've got a better idea. REKKA-

Asteria whacks Tasuki in the head with a fire extinguisher.

Asteria: No fires.

Tasuki: {expletive}

Asteria: No swearing, either. I'm trying to keep this PG. PG-13 at the highest.

Asteria throws Tasuki out the window.

Tasuki: (falling) I hate you alllllllll………

*thud*

Chichiri: What about them, no da?

Tamahome: Miaka…

Miaka: Tamahome…

Tamahome: Miaka…

Asteria: I have cookies.

Miaka: Tama- FOOD!

Miaka devours the last of Asteria's Chocolate Crème Oreos.

Asteria: Okay. Tamahome, get off the set. Miaka, wipe the crumbs off your face and start comforting Nuriko.

Nuriko: *still crying*

Miaka hugs Nuriko.

Miaka: Don't worry, Nuriko-chan. I'm sure there's some way for you to win Hotohori-sama's love.

Chiriko: I have an idea.

Nuriko and Miaka look at Chiriko.

Chiriko: Deep in the woods, there lives an Evil Mastermind and his two Evil sidekicks. They might be able to help you. It could be dangerous, though. They're Evil.

Nuriko: I don't care about danger. I'll do anything to win Hotohori-sama's love! *dramatic fiery background*

Asteria: Who let Tasuki back in?

Tasuki: Some guy with a key.

Asteria: …okay… Let's just move on to the next scene, shall we?

Soi: *starry background* Oh, Nakago-sama! *glomps Nakago*

Tomo: *starry background* Oh, Nakago-sama! *glomps Nakago*

Nakago: *sweatdrop*

*****

*****

Okay, this was all supposed to be one long chapter, but I decided to break it up so I could post the beginning before I finished the end.

Please review!

Ja ne.