Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Truly, Madly Deeply ❯ BattleRoyal ( Chapter 11 )

XI. BATTLE ROYAL/BREAKTHROUGH

 

 

A.

 

“Holy, it's tough… Let's take a smoke break,” Gojyo sighs. “I'm freaking exhausted.” Lifeless youkai are scattered around them.

 

“Huh! Exhausted from bawling your eyes out, is more like it…” Goku mutters.

 

“Yeah? Well a real man isn't afraid to cry! … Especially if he misses his special someone…” Gojyo sniffs.

 

“Idiot…”

 

“Moron…”

 

“Yare yare, I'm getting sick and tired of you two squabbling!” Hakkai declares. “I give up! Get your asses off the ground!” Goku and Gojyo blink at him. Hakuryu too.

 

“We're going back to Sanzo, all right?!?” Hakkai seethes.

 

Gojyo claps his hands in rapture. Goku jumps up. “Yeah! Let's go find baldy and kick the shit out of him!” Goku starts to stomp off in a huff, but bounces off the rock-hard chest of one determined kappa.

 

“Don't you dare…” Gojyo warns in a low, dangerous voice.

 

“Huh! I'll do what I want! He was my sun long before he was ever your snookums, so I'll whip his ass if I want! Besides, in case you've forgotten, I'm centuries older than you! So out of my way, kid!” Goku snarls, elbowing the kappa away.

 

Hakkai and Hakuryu peep over the stunned Gojyo's shoulder as the monkey stalks off determinedly. “He's suddenly scary, all of a sudden…” Hakkai whispers. Gojyo sweatdrops. Hakuryu cowers behind them.

 

Goku stops and looks back. “OI! Aren't you coming? Get a move on!” he growls.

 

The three jump.

 

“Hai, hai…”

 

“Coming, saru-sama…”

 

“Kyuuu…”

 

 

B.

 

“It's no use fighting destiny my darling Sanzo…” Hazel croons, advancing doggedly.

 

“Destiny my ass…” snarls the priest. He picks up a stick, lights the tip from one of the grinning, burning skulls, and brandishes the torch before him, ala Aragorn. “Can't you fucking take a hint, you hysterically blind Pillsbury doughboy? I ain't fucking interested!” Sanzo growls.

 

“Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty,” Hazel leers. Sanzo runs his hands down his face in exasperated despair.

 

Hysterical laughter echoes in the hallucination. “I don't think the feeling is anywhere near mutual I'm afraid, Mr. Hazel…” mocks Zakuro.

 

“Shaddup! Who asked you!?” glares the bishop. Hazel narrows his eyes. “Fine. You won't have me? Perhaps your loverboy will…Zakuro!” Hazel orders.

 

“…..”

 

“…GATO! Make the filthy youkai do it!”

 

A yelp.

 

Then slowly… a bare-chested, jean-clad, oil-slicked kappa materializes, draped all over the sneering bishop.

 

“Well, Sanzo-han?” Hazel raises an eyebrow. The Gojyo-illusion runs his fingers through Hazel's hair, knocking off the ten-gallon hat, as the dream-kappa plants hot, passionate kisses all over Hazel's face.

 

Steam spurts from Sanzo's nostrils. His porcelain cheeks a bright, scorching red, the priest drops his makeshift weapon. His hands curl into claws as he charges. “Omae o korosu…”

 

Hazel cackles madly. That's right, my sweet… come closer…

 

SCREECH!!!

 

Sanzo puts on the brakes, mere feet away. He drops his hands, his cheeks cooling.

 

“Huh. Baka…” Sanzo mutters. He turns his back, and sticks his pinky in his ear.

 

“OI!!! Get over here and throttle me, dammit!!!” Hazel shrieks.

 

“In your wildest dreams…” Sanzo mocks, blowing on his little finger.

 

“Hrrrr….” Hazel turns and clobbers the Gojyo-illusion instead.

 

In the real world, Zakuro turns grinning eyes to Gato. Gato holds up his palms defensively. “I'm just his nanny…” the big man intones, and shrugs.

 

Up on the cliff, the scientist shakes his head. “What a prize idiot…”

 

 

C.

 

“Sanzo sweet, we both lost our masters. We can give each other what we lack,” Hazel implores. “You complete me, Sanzo…” Hazel quivers. Tears pool in his baby blues. He sniffs. “You had me at `hello', don't you know…”

 

Sanzo clamps his hands over his ears and sings at the top of his voice. “I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AND STOUT!!!”

 

Hazel tears off clumps of his hair, seething. “Dammit, Sanzo! Stop acting so childish and listen to me!!!” he screeches, stomping his delicate feet.

 

Sanzo squeezes his eyes shut and sings louder. “OH WHERE, OH WHERE HAS MY GOJYO-SAN GONE? OH WHERE, OH WHERE CAN HE BEEE…”

 

Outside the hallucination, Zakuro rolls his eyes. He turns to the poker-faced Gato. “I wish they'd hurry up. Either the poor priest gives in or the deluded lunatic would give up. I don't want to miss my weekly manicure…” the youkai frets.

 

“Man…icure?” the big man queries.

 

“Sure. Every happening metrosexual these days gets a manicure.” Zakuro inspects Gato's hands. He whistles. “Boy, you could use one!” he tells Gato.

 

“Er…” Gato rumbles. “Do they do perms, as well? My dreadlocks are getting kinds limp…”

 

 

D.

 

“Answer me now! Say, `Yes, Hazel, I'll come with you. I'll be your boytoy for all eternity'.” Hazel glares at Sanzo.

 

“Are you fucking out of your mind?!?” Sanzo growls.

 

“Huh. Gato!” Hazel orders.

 

BANG!

 

Sanzo's cheek bleeds.

 

Hazel throws a fit. “You eejit!!! Not his precious, beautiful face, you imbecile!!!”

 

“Oops… My bad…”

 

 

E.

 

Hazel pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “Are you still waiting for your youkai friends to show up? Tsk tsk…” Hazel laughs merrily, a secret glint in his eye.

 

Sanzo's eyes widen. “No! they don't die that easily!” he denies, shaking his head.

 

“You think so?” Hazel looks at Sanzo with pity.

 

Sanzo falls to his knees, hands clasping his head. “No… no… Hakkai… Goku…” he sobs brokenly.

 

Hazel cackles.

 

Sanzo stares at his hands. “Gojyo… my Gojyo…”

 

Hazel throws his head back and roars in triumph.

 

Sanzo stands up and bares his heart. “Gato! Ikinahare!” the priest commands.

 

BANG!

 

Sanzo drops lifeless to the ground.

 

Hazel stares in horror. Hazel erupts. “What the hell did you just do you idiot!!!” Hazel screams, sinking down beside Sanzo.

 

“Er… sorry boss… but he did say the magic word.”

 

“HOOLIGAN!!!”

 

 

F.

 

“Kill all the youkai you like! I don't give a shit! I'm not going with you! Which word don't you understand?!?” Sanzo gnashes his teeth, twitching dangerously.

 

Hazel pouts. “You're so stubborn…”

 

A naughty voice drawls lazily. “…He thinks it's cool…”

 

Sanzo whips around. His eyes come alive. “Gojyo! My Gojyo!”

 

“Sanzo my love…”

 

Hazel panics. “Gato! Do something!”

 

“Okay.” Gato restrains Hazel.

 

“What do you think you're mmphh…” Gato clamps an iron hand over the purple-faced Hazel's mouth.

 

Sanzo and Gojyo embrace passionately, raining impatient, hungry kisses all over each other's faces, murmuring. Goku stands by, frowning. Then the monkey grins.

 

Hakkai faces Gato. “Nande, Gato?” he questions.

 

Gato reaches up with his free hand and wipes away a tear from his eye. He sniffs. “I just love happy endings…”

 

 

G.

 

“You're so stubborn!” Hazel declares in frustration.

 

Sanzo tilts his chin higher. “Huh.”

 

A lazy voice drawls. “He thinks it's cool…”

 

Gojyo drops down lightly in front of them. Sanzo gasps. “My hero…”

 

Gojyo turns to Hazel. “That's his trademark, you know… I had nearly as hard a time as you, melting that ice in the first place…”

 

Hazel's eyes widen in wonder. “You did???” he breathes.

 

Gojyo examines his fingernails proudly. “Yep. I sure did… This pretty boy knows how to play hard to get…”

 

“You're telling me!” Hazel squeals.

 

Gojyo grins. “But fortunately for me, I have the sizzling fire to melt that ice…”

 

“Uhm… Gojyo…” Hakkai elbows him.

 

“Huh?” Gojyo frowns at Hakkai.

 

“Boy you're in trouble…” snickers the monkey. Hakkai makes motions with his eyes. Gojyo follows his stare and beholds a very, very pissed monk, who has his arms folded rigidly and whose boot beats a sharp, impatient staccato on the ground. Purple eyes glare daggers at the kappa.

 

Gojyo sweatdrops. He turns to his neglected lover… but Sanzo will have none of it. “You think you've seen a human ice block, kappa? You haven't seen anything yet…”

 

Gojyo scolds, wheedles, threatens, teases, begs, and debases himself before Sanzo.

 

Hazel taps the desperate kappa's shoulder. “Tell me your secret!” he pleads. He is ignored.

 

Goku walks over. “I'll tell you, if you like.”

 

“Hai!” Hazel drools.

 

Goku leans in until their noses nearly touch. He whispers confidentially. “The secret is…”

 

“Yes? Yes?” Hazel blinks madly.

 

“… that he is Sha Gojyo. And you - “ Goku lifts up his hand and snaps his finger across Hazel's nose. “ - are not!” Goku sticks his tongue out.

 

Gato coughs.

 

Hakkai sniggers.

 

Hazel's eyes cross. “I don't get it…”