Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ A little heart to heart ❯ Chapter 1

This sucks. It's not something I can help because I tried, but you have been warned. Also I can't make titles for the life of me, so be nice & forgive me?

 

 

 

Hakkai's eyes darted across the pages of the book laid out in his lap. His delicate features knit with concentration.

 

“I wonder what it is this time” Gojyo wondered to himself. “An ancient war, a novel, maybe even something that he'll want to share with his students if we ever get back home.”

 

It took Gojyo a minute to realize what he had said. “That small shack, what the hell was I thinking. I don't have any fond memories of that place.”

 

Gojyo remembered that before Hakkai had come to live with him, he would always bring women home. He also remembered how stupid he felt waking up in the morning with a beautiful bombshell beside him & wishing that he had went to her place…so that he could leave quietly before she woke up in the morning.

 

“Then they usually expect you to call them,” Gojyo thought with a shiver.

 

No, Gojyo didn't have any particularly good memories of the place he called home. The house could burn down & the only thing it would mean is that he would have to find another place for him & Hakkai to stay…Hakkai…he had fond memories of him.

 

“Like I would ever admit it out loud.”

 

He would wake up in the morning to the smell of homemade cooking & fresh coffee. While Gojyo used to have the small house floor lined with piles of dirty clothes, when Hakkai moved in everything went into its proper place, & laundry was dealt with by him. And Gojyo could still remember those mornings when he came home drunk, when he woke up there would be water & aspirin waiting by his bedside. And a pleasant smile when he finally forced himself to get out of bed.

 

If there was anything that Gojyo could call home….he supposed it would be Hakkai himself.

 

“What a weird thing to realize”, Gojyo thought…. “That my best friend…means more to me than any hot blonde… well he does remember to always take out the trash too….”

 

 

 

Asaka's eyes glistened with tears as she held her head down, her hair covering her face…willing her tears to stop with all her strength.

 

“Why did you leave?” she asked. “Kenji…what if...something would have happened to you?”

 

Her voice was close to breaking as she screamed “ I never would have forgiven myself for letting you go.”

 

She dropped to the floor, her body shaking…tears poring down her face.

“What would I have done without you…?” she whispered.

 

Kenj slowly walked over to Asaka, & knelled down beside her. Taking her head in his hands, he lifted it up “I'm sorry…I'll never leave your side again. I promise you.”

 

Asaka turned her head away from Kenji…& fresh tears flowed from her eyes.

 

“Asaka…Asaka…I love you, don't cry….everything will be okay….we'll be okay….you'll see….I'll keep my promise….”

 

“Kenji...it's okay.”

 

She looked up & her eyes were still full of tears...but there was happiness in her face. And a kind of enlightenment, that Kenji had not seen in her face in a long time. Putting his arms around Asaka, Kenji felt everything else fade away…if only for a little while.

 

 

 

 

“Oh no…the contemplative look...” Gojyo thought… “I hate that look.”

 

Gojyo walked quietly over to Hakkai & peaked over his shoulder, reading the text that Hakkai's attention was consumed by. His eyes were no longer darting all over the page, but focused & unmoving.

 

“You know” Gojyo said with earnest… “This writing sucks. Why are you reading this shit anyway?”

 

Hakkai's head snapped up & he adjusted his glasses before closing the book softly & clutching it to his chest.

 

“You know what would make it better, if Kenji threw Asaka down to the floor & ravaged her…of course all in explicit detail.”

 

“Gojyo”…Hakkai smiled…. “You startled me.”

 

“Sometimes it really amazes me how if it's an assassin…you would be able to tell right away. But little old me…” Gojyo shrugged.

 

“Your presence isn't malicious Gojyo…that's why.”

 

“That's a lackluster answer Hakkai.”

 

“I had hoped you would like it.”

 

“You know what Hakkai…I'm afraid this doesn't work.”

“May I ask what doesn't work Gojyo?”

 

“Well Hakkai, your not wearing a dress.”

 

Hakkai looked strangely at Gojyo.

 

“Well…our situation almost sounds like the one in the book…except your not crying, & I'm not going to tell you I love you, & your not wearing a dress.”

 

Hakkai smiled softly “no…I'm not.”

 

“But you know…” Gojyo said thoughtfully…“you might look good in a dress…you've got the legs for it.”

 

Hakkai stared at Gojyo…but no words came to mind. Gojyo studied Hakkai's face, gauging his reaction. A small smile & a roll of the eyes told Gojyo that at least Hakkai still had his sense of humor. Laughing he sat down beside his friend.

 

 

 

Hakkai turned his attention back to the book.

 

“This book…was give to me by Mrs. Kennedy…do you remember her Gojyo?”

 

“Do I remember her, how could I not?” Gojyo laughed.

 

“Beautiful, married, sweet as sugar, mother of that little pip-squeak you taught in school. Yeah…I always thought she liked you Hakkai….maybe a little more than her husband even.”

 

He took a hard look at Hakkai…& came to the conclusion that it would be hard not to like him.

 

“You have a wild imagination Gojyo, that's all. I have a lot of books, not given to me by “admirers” but by nice people that thought they would benefit me more than them. Wouldn't you consider it rude if I threw them on an old shelf somewhere & never bothered to read them? Every one of them, is interesting in their own way anyway…so it's worth giving them a chance. Some are better written than others. This one” Hakkai said holding it up for Gojyo to see, “wasn't so eloquently written…but…the meaning & feeling behind the words is still there. So, in my opinion the author has done his job.”

 

Gojyo stifled a laugh… “Hakkai…always taking things too seriously” he thought to himself.

 

“So..sensei, what's the moral of this lesson?”

 

Gojyo wasn't sure what he was waiting for…a moral like he would tell the children at school maybe? He does treat him like a kid at times. Or maybe some very serious & sociological bullshit. What he wasn't expecting was Hakkai to say nothing.

 

“Hakkai…you alright buddy?”

 

Gojyo said as he tried to get a good look at his face. Hakkai turned to Gojyo, his eyes soft…with some emotion that Gojyo couldn't fathom. He felt like his heart had stopped, looking into those beautiful sapphire eyes…& this time it seemed as if there was no wall between them, no facade, faked emotions or meaningless smiles. Just Hakkai…the true Hakkai, that Gojyo didn`t see very often.

 

“Gojyo” Hakkai muttered softly, & as much as Gojyo wanted to walk away…or crack a joke & pretend like this had never happened…he couldn't.

 

There had been an unspoken rule between them that some things just didn't need or have to be talked about. If one of them was upset, or needed to talk…they would lend a shoulder to each other. But most of the time, they had avoided talking about things…not wanting to deal with the pain old memories or other heartfelt conversation could bring.

 

“Gojyo, I know that you had to leave…you had to go after Kami…because if you didn't…I know you wouldn't have been able to face yourself. I understand it was something you had to do…but….a part of me….doesn't understand how you could leave us without even mentioning it. Just pick up & leave…not thinking about how your actions would affect us. Or me….”

 

“Hakkai…” Gojyo began… “You knew I was leaving.”

 

“Yes I did…but if you remember correctly, you wouldn't room with me that night…you choose to room with Goku…purposefully so that I wouldn't be able to talk to you. I knew that you were leaving, & you knew that I was aware of that…so you avoided me. You didn't want me trying to talk you out of going. What was I supposed to do? Barge into your room & roll Goku out of bed & scream at you? I'm not as dramatic as all that Gojyo…& you understood that. But once you were gone….things weren't the same. I couldn't concentrate…& I certainly couldn't stand sitting in Jeep with Sanzo & Goku. It was…un-natural….empty. It wasn't supposed to be like that I realized…& even though they would have a hard time admitting it, I know Sanzo & Goku felt the same.” Hakkai paused… “And…I hated myself for letting you go after that. For knowing that I could have stopped you.”

 

“But Hakkai” Gojyo started, “You couldn't have stopped me from going after him…no one could.”

 

“Is that it….am I no one to you Gojyo. It would seem that no matter what…if you had someone you cared for enough…& that you felt needed you enough….you would make those sacrifices.”

 

 

 

Author's notes: I don't really like the way this turned out. I know my writing could get (much) better, but to do that it takes lots of practice & helpful hints. If you can provide any insightful comments or suggestions that could help me improve, please do so. Or if you just want to give a small comment, good or bad, that's (greatly) welcome too.