Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ A little heart to heart ❯ So much for my happy ending ( Chapter 4 )

“Hakkai?” Sanzo said while holding up his next to empty carton of cigarettes.

 

“I would like some more before we head out today.”

 

Turning around, he saw Goku in his usual stop next to Gojyo.

 

That wouldn't do.

 

“And get Goku a meat bun or two while you're at it” he said in an almost implausible way.

 

Goku screamed “awesome, thanks Sanzo!” and jumped out of the jeep grabbing Hakkai's arm and ready to pull him off in search of meat buns.

 

Hakkai looked at Sanzo in disbelief, and was going to ask “are you sure Sanzo?”

 

But Sanzo gave him a “don't push it” look and Hakkai knew better than to question.

 

“Shall we go Goku?” Hakkai asked, and the two headed off, Goku screaming “meat bun, meat bun” and dancing around.

 

Staring at Hakkai's retreating form, Gojyo's mind wondered off.

 

 

 

He had gone in search of some female “companionship” the night before, but all he found were some not so surprising revelations.

 

“There are some things that are hard not to notice, Hakkai's eyes are one of those things. But that…that isn't normal. Thinking about how much more beautiful your best friends eyes are than the girl your swapping spit with, isn't normal.”

 

But Gojyo knew, had known for quiet some time that this was more than that.

 

If this was just lust, Gojyo could deal with it.

 

Hell Gojyo specialized in lust.

 

It could be his middle name.

 

Lust wasn't the problem at all.

 

The problem is Hakkai's intelligence. How was he supposed to not be amazed by it? And his beauty, it wasn't like the cheap immature beauty he was used to seeing, it was real, and pure. And Hakkai was so caring, so gentle by nature. The problem is that he has deeper, more meaningful feelings for Hakkai. And that is one thing Gojyo doesn't know how to deal with.

 

"How do you tell...your best friend that you might..." and Gojyo stopped himself before he could think it.

 

"How do I even know he feels the same?"

 

Sure, he had seen the look on Hakkai's face at times. Times like yesterday…he was certain Hakkai didn't approve of his sexual conquests...but not approving and being jealous are completely different things. Sure sometimes Hakkai was especially worried about Gojyo, but he worried about all of them. “Sure he cares for me. But does he care for me in the same way?” Sometimes Hakkai's words and actions made him wonder, but he couldn't be certain...not now...not yet. He also knew that Hakkai would always have feelings for Kanan, and he wasn't sure that Hakkai was ready for another relationship. If he would ever be...

 

Sighing, he told himself that some things are just too complicated.

 

 

 

Standing up and taking his gun out of his robes, Sanzo cocks his gun and points it at Gojyo's head.

 

Gojyo turns back from staring at Hakkai, and finds a gun in his face.

 

“What the hell's your problem! Get your damn gun out of my face Buddha.”

 

Gojyo was going to attempt to push it aside, but the look in Sanzo's eyes stopped him cold.

 

“I didn't care to get involved in this, but it seems you leave me no choice. So you better listen and listen good. You are a freakin moron.”

 

Even though Gojyo was used to it by now, his face was bewildered.

 

“And your moronic actions are doing nothing but making the situation worse. You two are no good to me as you are. You're just like extra baggage, and you know what I do with extra baggage don't you? I discard it. You better fix the shit you've gotten yourself into, because otherwise I don't have any use for two even more emotionally scarred “companions.”

 

His mouth open, Gojyo wasn't sure what to say. So he just said what came to mind first.

"What in the hell are you talking about!"

 

Sanzo gave him a look of annoyance. "I'm perceptive. Plus, you would have to be an idiot not to see what's going on."

 

"Goku doesn't know right?" Gojyo asked. “He is an idiot after all.”

 

"I don't know, and I don't care. Just don't give him any ideas okay? Or you're a dead man." And the way Sanzo was glaring at him, Gojyo believed it.

 

"Of course," he replied dismissingly.

 

The sound of a squealing monkey told Sanzo of the returning Goku and Hakkai, so he sat back down in the front seat with a few final words for Gojyo.

 

"If I see you sneaking off to spend the night with a girl again, I'll put a bullet in your ass."

 

"There has to be a nicer way to get me to solve my problems than threatening me," Gojyo thought with compliance.

 

 

 

Many hours, screams, bruises, and bumps later the Sanzo party reached their destination for the night.

 

Taking a good look at each of them, Sanzo decided he had definitely had enough of them for one day.

 

“Dismissed, I don't want to see any of your faces until tomorrow morning.”

 

Sanzo went up to his room for some solitude.

 

Goku proceeded to order almost everything on the menu, once again putting a very large dent in the Sanbutsushin's bank account, & Hakkai sat at the bar quietly reading a book while drinking sake.

 

Watching his friend for a few minutes, he finally went over and took a seat beside him.

Ordering a drink, he couldn't help but wink at the waitress.

 

He swore he saw Hakkai flinch slightly at the action.

 

“Dammit, I didn't even mean too…it's just second nature to me now.”

 

"Just try to hold a normal conversation, you should be able to do that much."

 

"That last book you were reading? How did it turn out?"

 

Turning his gaze from his book, Hakkai offered his friend a smile but...it didn't reach his eyes. His beautiful eyes.

 

"Well, it didn't turn out the way I was expecting. There was no happy ending I'm afraid." And he was silent for a moment, as if searching for his next words.

 

"But...maybe its better that they don't all end like that. It isn't...realistic. Things in life don't always end so perfectly. The boy doesn't always get the girl, sometimes she runs off with his best friend." Hakkai laughed slightly at the thought, but Gojyo didn't.

 

"Maybe so...but still...it's nice to keep some hope isn't it? To at least believe for a little while that things will work out? Even if...you're not so sure of the outcome." Gojyo asked, and he knew his voice sounded a bit too eager.

 

"It would be nice...yes. But...sometimes there is no hope, and it's better to face the inevitable than to get your hopes up so high the fall will kill you." And Gojyo had the feeling that they weren't talking about books anymore.

 

Authors notes: I know this story just appeared out of nowhere with these four chapters, lol. I also have this fanfic up at fanfiction.net but since I like visiting mediaminer too, and I see different fics here than there, I just thought I would upload it here too. So…I hope somebody likes it. If you do please review, they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside and make me write faster. That being said, this will be continued. But, if no one takes interest to it here I might take it down because I don't want to just be taking up space.