Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ A little heart to heart ❯ Some things are better left unsaid ( Chapter 3 )

“Just stop thinking about it!” Gojyo pleaded with himself, but it was no use. His conversation with Hakkai had been haunting him all day long, and he was having trouble concentrating.

 

“Why is this bothering me so much! Hakkai obviously isn't taking it too seriously or he wouldn't have acted like it never happened.”

 

But something in the back of Gojyo's mind screamed, “You know him better than everyone else. He's trying to ignore it, hoping that if he ignores it long enough…it will go away.”

 

“……wait…what will go away?”

 

Goku nudged him in the ribs with his elbow, “Why are you being so quiet?”

 

Annoyed at the break in his train of thought, Gojyo retorted “Why are you even asking, it's not like it's any of your business!”

 

“Asshole, I try to be considerate and this is the thanks I get? See if I be nice to you again, it was probably perverted anyway.”

 

“Considerate? You've got to be shitting me! You don't even know what considerate means!” Gojyo scoffed as he flicked Goku on the nose with his finger.

 

“Now, now children, do play nice.” Hakkai requested, but his words went unnoticed.

 

“Oh, now your getting it you filthy water sprite!” Goku challenged, and the two locked hands and butted heads glaring at each other while spitting out insults.

 

Suddenly the two had a gun shoved in their faces. Sanzo's eyes were irate with furry as he screamed, “Shut the fuck up right now or your getting a one way ticket to hell courtesy of me!”

 

Two sets of eyes went wide with fear and the two jumped apart quickly.

 

 

 

“We're getting separate rooms for tonight right?” Gojyo asked.

 

Taking a drag of his cigarette, Sanzo replied nonchalantly, “yes.”

 

“Fine, I'll see you guys in the morning.” he said as he waved goodbye.

 

Though it was against his better judgment, Hakkai had to ask.

 

“Where are you going? Didn't you want to play cards?”

 

“I'm going to find me some company for the evening, cards can wait.” he explained with a sly grin.

 

“I've thought more than is right for me today.” he realized. “Now I just need to go out and have some fun, and I'll be all better."

 

“Oh…” … “I see” he finished in his head.

 

As Hakkai watched Gojyo flirt with the local townswomen, he wondered if the redhead would ever find what he's looking for.

 

The few relationships that Gojyo had when he was younger were the longest & also the most damaging.

 

His mother especially… “I guess…really it's no big surprise that he can't trust women. He's afraid of getting hurt so he keeps his emotions far away from them, just offering a physical relationship. He seems to be fine with that… but…but still he deserves better.”

 

Hakkai muses sadly & offers a slight smile to the others in hopes of appearing normal.

 

Taking a look out of the corner of his eye, Sanzo could see Gojyo heading out the door with a girl on his arm.

 

He was grinning at her, & had his arm around her waist. Her facial expression indicated that she was falling for every one of Gojyo's “sweet nothings.”

 

Looking over at Hakkai's melancholy smile, he turned his gaze back to the door. Shaking his head, the only thing that came to mind was “dumbass.”

 

 

 

Tongue curling around his ear, fingernails digging into his skin, ragged breath; this is what Gojyo lives for.

 

He know's its empty, but he pushes the thought away because all that matters is the moment.

 

She caresses the side of his face, & her fingers find the scars from long ago.

 

She stares at them for a moment, in wonder and it ruins his mood.

 

“Never seen a few scars before?” he thinks angrily.

 

She leans over to turn the lamp on, and her hand moves to touch the scars but he stops her.

 

For the first time tonight, he actually takes a long look at her and realizes…she has green eyes.

 

“Your eyes…they look so fake…so impure compared to his.”

 

And Gojyo thinks it in his head, but he never ever would have thought for a moment that he had said it out loud, but he feels a sharp blow across his cheek and he just knows that there couldn't be anything else.

 

The next thing he's out on the street, being thrown his shirt and it's raining and he stops and tilts his head up to the sky and just savors the feel of it on his face for a moment because it makes him feel clean.

 

Then he laughs at the irony of feeling clean after what just occurred.

 

Up in his room Hakkai is sitting on the windowsill staring out at the rain, because the sound would never allow him to sleep easy.

 

And though the rain is heavy, he can see a person standing out in the rain, looking up. And even if his eyesight isn't what it used to be, he knows it's him, because he could tell Gojyo's figure anywhere.

 

And he wonders if Gojyo found what he was looking for.

 

 

 

He wakes up in the morning with a headache and he dreads the rest of the day.

 

“You don't look so good.” Goku tells him, and Gojyo rolls his eyes.

 

Goku looks curious and Gojyo sighs deeply and just says “Some things are better left unsaid.”