Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Stand Here With Me ❯ Resurrecting the Dead ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: Yeah, quick update. Hope Hakkai isn't too OOC in this chapter! Sorry for you flashback-haters, but this chapter's gonna be made up of nothing but that. Two different ones, but that's all I'm gonna say. Oh, and that there are some lovely little moments for you shameless 93 and 89 shippers. Plenty of angst to go around, too. Cheers.

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<Flashback>

Hakkai was reluctant to try visiting with Goku. He remembered being in this state before when Kanan had killed herself. After killing Chin Yiisou as a result, he felt he had nothing else to live for. He was burdened with deep wounds that cut so deep into his body they appeared to have cut right into his soul. Refusing to heal, their bleeding staining his skin and clothes as a reminder of what he had done, and that no matter what, the sins he had committed would forever stay in his memory.

Hakkai doubted that Goku thought himself responsible for Sanzou's death. After all, he wasn't even involved in Sanzou's death. However, it was just not having Sanzou around that most likely caused Goku to feel this way. Although Hakkai cared for Sanzou very much, he knew that Goku's bond with Sanzou was much stronger. Goku knew Sanzou longer than he, Hakkai, did, after all.

Fingers twitching nervously, he turned the doorknob to Goku's room and heard the faint sound of Goku's voice excitedly say, "Sanzou?"

Hakkai could feel his insides squirm with guilt attacking him. He hated to think that as soon as he'd step into Goku's room, the hope that had flickered within Goku's soul like a flame trying to stay blazing, would burn out immediately. Hakkai took a deep breath, filling his lungs with reassurance, and stepped into Goku's room.

He found Goku, climbing out of bed to greet who he thought was Sanzou. And as Hakkai expected, the hopeful look glowing on the saru's face had now faded into a downhearted look, and soon returned the impassive look as Hakkai had seen when Goku was visiting Sanzou's grave. Goku slowly crawled back into bed his face landing into his pillow, Hakkai now feeling worse than ever.

"Goku…" Hakkai said softly as he walked over to Goku's bed, "Goku…why don't you come out of bed for a bit? You haven't eaten anything since last night, I think it's about time you'd have some breakfast-"

"Is Sanzou there?"

Hakkai sighed and sat upon the end of Goku's bed. He reached over and gently grabbed Goku's shoulder, but this only resulted to Goku tensing up, as though something were frightening him. Hakkai then released Goku's shoulder, frowning at his unsuccessful attempt at getting Goku to at least turn around and make eye contact with him.

"Goku…I'm afraid to say this…but…" He gulped nervously. "Sanzou…Sanzou isn't going to come back…"

"Oh…" Goku responded flatly, "…you can leave now…"

"But Goku, I wanted to talk with you about something important…"

"Nothing's more important than Sanzou."

These words cut through Hakkai's soul almost as deeply as Chin Yiisou had stabbed him. So powerful were these words. He then realized that these were these words were of the same "breed" as the ones that were in his head the whole time as the time when he was slaughtering the hordes of youkai. Nothing is more important than Kanan.

Yes, that was how he had remembered it. That was exactly how he remembered it. The words drove Hakkai the opposite way it had drove Goku; rather than making him emotionless and un-active, it drove him to be insane and murderous. Yes, it was definitely fortunate that Goku didn't end up this way, nor go berserk like he usually did whenever Sanzou was in grave danger.

Which lead to the next point: what if Goku was doomed to go berserk if he didn't see Sanzou soon or visit his grave?

"Goku, if you…if you eat your breakfast…" said Hakkai, "Then maybe we can go visit Sanzou again?"

"No…" murmured Goku into his pillow, "I know Sanzou isn't really there."

"But he is Goku," argued Hakkai with a more stern tone in his voice, "You may not be able to see him with your eyes…but you'll be able to feel his presence."

"I'm too stupid to feel any presences like you guys can."

"Goku, you are not stupid. Naïve, yes, but certainly not stupid. It may take a while for you to understand some things but…but…"

Hakkai placed his hands on Goku's shoulders and gave them an affectionate squeeze.

"…but I can't stand to see you look so miserable. Neither can Gojyou, and I doubt Sanzou would, either."

"…but Sanzou's dead."

"But his spirit still exists."

"Sanzou didn't believe in spirits and neither do I."

Hakkai had wanted to say, "Sometimes Sanzou can be wrong about certain things," but he refrained from doing so. Beliefs on religion were personal, after all.

Hakkai got up from Goku's bed, but just before he stepped out of his room, he turned to the direction of where Goku was lying facedown and said, "Goku…I understand none of us can replace Sanzou…and it'll take a while for your wounds of grief to heal…but in the meantime, Gojyou and I…we'll be here. Just to let you know…"

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"Alright, alright, enough of the sap already," Gojyou said, holding up his hand to stop Hakkai, "I get it. The monkey's bummed that his monk's gone and doesn't want to come out `till he's back. Typical."

Hakkai chuckled and placed his hand on Gojyou's shoulder.

"You have any advice for me?"

Gojyou winced. "Me? Hell, no! You did twice the job I could've done! No, five times! Maybe even ten!"

"Alright, alright," Hakkai said, laughing, "But we are going to have to get him up sooner or later."

"I know that," grumbled Gojyou, "But I'm dyin' for some booze right now. Think we can go have a drink and let everything go downhill from there?"

"I guess," sighed Hakkai, "But we can't leave Goku here…"

"Tell ya what; how `bout I go out and by us some drinks, bring `em here and then we can drink and chat about this. Deal?"

Hakkai smiled. "Deal."

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A/N: Whoo, chapter two done! And if you're wondering-yes, we will find out about how Sanzou died in the next chapter. For now, I think I'll kick back and drink some booze-err, finish my lab report. Ja-ne for now, minna-san! ^^