Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Truly Madly Deeply 4Ever ❯ To The Distant West ( Chapter 1 )

August 24, 2006

 

Title: Truly, Madly, Deeply 4Ever

Author: Befanini

Disclaimer: Not mine. Just the demented result of an overactive imagination. XD

Rating: T

Summary: The parody returns. Begins? Whatever. XD Part 3 of the Truly Madly Deeply series. “Behind the scenes” of Gensomaden Saiyuki.

A/N: As with the previous two installments, these are “outtakes” of the anime, episode per episode, “expounding” on all the yummy 353 teasers in the series. LOL This being a parody, OOC-ness is guaranteed. Purists steer clear of this one!

P.S. This is based on the ADV dub of Gensomaden. Some of you might recognize actual dialogue lifted straight from the series. ^_^

 

 

 

i. To The Distant West

 

 

A.

 

Chang'An. The monks gather around the base of the peach tree, murmuring excitedly. A few shout up to the boy in the branches. He yells back, with a lot of grumbling.

 

Genjo Sanzo walks over, gnashing his teeth. “What is it this time?” he bites out, already reaching inside his sleeve for the harisen. “He's stealing peaches again, isn't he, damn monkey…”

 

He reaches the base of the huge tree. “OI, bakazaru! Get down he—“

 

Genjo Sanzo blinks. And backs away hastily.

 

The monks exclaim excitedly.

 

“Have you got her? Have you got her?”

 

“Just a bit further, you're almost there…”

 

“Just stretch out your hand a bit more—“

 

“Will you guys shut up??? You're scaring her!” Goku yells down. The monks obey meekly.

 

“Gotcha!” Goku shouts triumphantly. He drops down to the ground, holding a little ball of fluff. “You silly girl, don't you know better than to climb up that high? C'mon, we gotta get you to Sanzo, after all those nice pilgrims left you as a present to him…” Goku turns to offer her to Sanzo, but encounters only empty space.

 

“Um…” Goku scratches his head, and looks bewildered at the monks.

 

They take the kitten, and shrug. “Sanzo-sama said he heard the Three Heads calling him, all of a sudden…”

 

 

B.

 

“I'm sooooooo hungry I can't walk another step,” Goku wails, dropping down mutinously on the forest floor.

 

THWAK!

 

“Ow! … If you're in such a hurry to get away from the kitten, wouldn't it have been simpler to have Hakkai pick us up?” Goku winces, rubbing his head.

 

“Urusei! Just get up and get moving you lazy chimp!” Sanzo hisses, cheeks burning. “Who said I'm running away from anything?!”

 

“I'm just wondering why the burning need to hook up with Hakkai and Gojyo all of a sudden…” Goku mumbles, with a sidelong glance at the monk. He grins as Sanzo blushes a brighter shade of red. “I thought that would get your attention…” the kid smirks.

 

“Cheeky monkey…” Sanzo mutters, feigning indifference. “There's just something I need to confirm…” the monk scowls.

 

“Er… That your sweetie-pie is being a good boy, for instance?” Goku hints, grinning innocently.

 

Sanzo glares, giving up the pretense of not caring. “DAMN RIGHT! SO MOVE YOUR ASS!!!” the monk orders, marching on briskly. “If I know that bastard, he's spending his time in those dingy pubs gambling the night away with three `queens' hanging all over him! … rhubarbrhubarbrhubarb…”

 

Goku sighs, and tucks his arms behind his head as he resignedly follows behind the muttering blond.

 

 

C.

 

Sanzo and Goku get ambushed by a pack of demons. They can barely keep up with the sudden onslaught, when a long silver chain flashes out and a crescent blade slices neatly through all the enemies.

 

Goku rolls his eyes, and dismisses his Nyoi-bou staff. “Show off,” he sniffs.

 

Sanzo huffs and folds his arms, turning his face away haughtily from the new arrivals.

 

The two up on the cliff call down.

 

“Looks like things are bad all over,” Hakkai observes with an easy smile.

 

“Well, well, if it isn't my favorite hot-blooded monk and his annoying monkey sidekick,” Gojyo drawls as they jump off and join the other two below. He tries to greet Sanzo with a kiss, but the monk shoves him away, purple eyes glinting icily.

 

“Don't you sweet-talk me, you pervert!” Sanzo hisses. “Go flirt with your “hot-blooded” three queens, I'm sure they're burning up for you!” he spits acidly.

 

Gojyo glares at Hakkai.

 

Hakkai raises his palms defensively. “Dude, I have NO idea how he knows.”

 

Goku snickers. “I bet he gets the Talking Heads to spy on you for him,” he informs the frantic kappa with relish.

 

Gojyo winces. “Sweetums! You know those girls mean nothing to me!” he begs, trying to take Sanzo in his arms. “I've been pining for you the whole time we've been apart, I swear!!!”

 

“'Ch,” Sanzo replies witheringly.

 

“How come you guys are here, anyway?” Goku asks Hakkai curiously, while having a joyful reunion with Hakuryu. “Did you sense a demonic aura and follow it here to us?”

 

“Mm,” Hakkai replies, with a weak laugh. “Actually, it's more like I was dragged along,” the healer grimaces. “Gojyo just got another one of his insane urges to -uhrm—“visit” you guys. It's just a lucky coincidence to have met you halfway.”

 

“See? SEE???” Gojyo demands, stooping and peering pleadingly at the fuming monk. “I was on my way to see you!!! I couldn't wait until next month like you said, so I talked Hakkai into taking the trip with me—“

 

“Ahaha. Blackmailed is more like it,” Hakkai corrects, raising his index finger.

 

“Hn,” Sanzo sniffs. “Do you deny that you've had tarts draped all over you while you played another sucker for all his money?”

 

Gojyo tugs at his hair in frustration. “Dammit, Sanzo, I can't help it if they flock to me, and when I'm deep into a card game I can't be bothered to shoo them away! They do bring me luck sometimes, y'know!”

 

“So now women are flies, huh?” Goku snorts. “That's fitting, considering he's a cockroach.”

 

“You stay out of this, you stupid monkey! Go eat a banana!” Gojyo glares.

 

“Why you—“ Goku sputters.

 

“Now, now…” Hakkai begins, and stares as Goku suddenly turns from growling at Gojyo and looks up with begging eyes at Hakkai instead. “Actually, do you have a banana? Or a porkbun? I'm really, really hungryyyy…”

 

“Kyu?”

 

“C'mon, baby, gimme a kiss already! I haven't seen you in six weeks!”

 

“Go to hell.”

 

Meanwhile, Hakkai patiently explains to the fresh batch of demons that they'll have to wait, as the four of them are occupied at the moment.

 

“I'm afraid all I have are these nuts and dried fruit for Hakuryu…”

 

“GIMME!”

 

“KYUUUU!!!”

 

“Baby give in already, dammit!”

 

“Talk to the hand, kappa.”

 

Up in Tenkai, the Goddess of Mercy has had enough. Her scrappy little party are never going to get started at this rate. She orders the Sanbutshushin to enlighten the monk.

 

Genjo Sanzo, remember… Look with the eyes of your heart…

 

“Huh?” Sanzo blinks, and slowly focuses on Gojyo. The kappa is gazing desperately, longingly at him, fists clenched. Hell, the bastard was right. Gojyo couldn't help being sexy. It was one of the reasons Sanzo was so attracted to him, after all.

 

“Hn,” the monk snorts, finally going into the kappa's embrace. “You're MINE, you just remember that,” the blond hisses fiercely.

 

“As if I'd ever forget…” Gojyo groans.

 

“Oh yeah, by the way,” Hakkai says, tapping Sanzo politely on the shoulder after the lovers have kissed and made up.

 

“Hm?” Sanzo asks dazedly, turning drunkenly in Gojyo's embrace.

 

“What's up? How come you and Goku aren't at the temple?”

 

“Coz he doesn't want his present…” Goku mutters.

 

“Eh?”

 

“Urusei, bakazaru!” Sanzo snaps. “We were going to find you, and we're all going there.” The monk sweeps his arm grandly.

 

“There?”

 

“To the West.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Coz me and my baby are sailing away to the sunset…” Gojyo murmurs happily, still giddy with their reunion.

 

“Baka,” Sanzo scoffs. “We've been sent on a Divine Mission, that's why.”

 

“That, and Sanzo wants to get far away from the kitty.” Goku informs nobody in particular. He runs behind Hakkai as the harisen whips out of Sanzo's sleeve.

 

Hakkai scratches his head. “This is all very confusing, I must say.”

 

The demons standing around lose their patience. “You've been sent to find out why we have this sudden insane urge to rip your throats out, you idiots!!!” they yell, tired of being ignored.

 

“Oh. In that case…”

 

After five seconds of stunning acrobatics from Hakkai and bored fighting from Goku, the Sanzo-ikkou finally start on their Journey to the West.

 

Goku and Gojyo bicker in the backseat.

 

Hakkai turns to Sanzo. “Seriously. What was that about a kitten?”

 

Sanzo flushes. “Shut up and drive, Hakkai.”

 

XxXxX

 

A/N: Whew. First episode done, 49 to go… XD I wonder if I can finish this before next year… LOL In the meantime, please bear with sporadic updates, as RL is still crazy as can be. Thank Tenkai for coffee…

 

See you in a few!

 

Japanese mini-glossary:

 

Harisen: paper fan

Bakazaru: stupid monkey

Baka: idiot/moron/stupid

Urusei: Shut up

Tenkai: heaven

Sanbutshushin: The Three Sages / Three Aspects of Buddha / The “talking heads” LOL

Nyoi-bou: Goku's weapon

Kappa: water demon

Ikkou: party/group