Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Truly Madly Deeply 4Ever ❯ First Game ( Chapter 2 )

September 5, 2006

 

ii. First Game: A Guide To The Nether World

 

In which the Sanzo-ikkou deal with their first batch of enemies; and a sweet young girl discovers that the way to a monkey's heart is through his stomach. XD

 

XxXxX

 

A.

 

Gojyo and Goku begin the first of many petty quarrels in the course of the Journey West.

 

“Get your own beer, jerkoff!” Goku yells, snarling at the kappa.

 

“Alright,” Gojyo glares. “You're gonna get me another beer, or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiny little ass, you got that?!”

 

“You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren'tcha?!” the monkey seethes, incensed.

 

Gojyo opens his mouth to retort -

 

Click.

 

The red eyes now stare down the barrel of the Smith and Wesson, and encounter glacier orbs glittering dangerously at him.

 

“B-baby! That was a figure of speech!” Gojyo stammers, hastily raising his palms. “Tell him!!!” the kappa hisses out of the corner of his mouth, jabbing a sharp elbow into Goku's ribs.

 

The monkey yelps, clutching his side, and scowls at the kappa.

 

The gun swings slowly to Goku. The golden eyes pop in alarm. “It's true! It's true!” Goku squeaks quickly. “I didn't mean anything!!!”

 

Hakkai shakes his head. And they've only covered twenty miles so far…

 

The purple eyes narrow, and pin each of the miscreants in turn.

 

“Hn.” Sanzo thumbs back the hammer. “I've got enough to deal with, with all his tarts and the goddamn screaming fangirls, without having to worry about you, too,” the monk coolly informs the monkey.

 

Goku's jaw drops.

 

“Tarts? What tarts?!” Gojyo demands heatedly.

 

But Goku's howl of outrage drowns out the kappa's protests of innocence. “As-IF!!!” Goku roars, red to the rim of his golden diadem.

 

Sanzo raises a quizzical eyebrow, unimpressed. He turns back around in his seat and faces front once more.

 

“FOUL!!!” Goku yells, quivering with indignation.

 

Emerald meets merry amethyst eyes. “Unrequited love affair, tsk tsk…” Hakkai joins in.

 

The kappa blinks, confused. Sanzo hides a grin. Revenge is sweet, for once.

 

“Hakkai!!!” Goku howls, fists balled. “It's not funny!”

 

The healer shrugs, eyes twinkling mischievously. “Well, Goku, you started it - you should know better than to take too much liberty with the voice dubs,” Hakkai remarks. “I mean, really - Gojyo grabbing your ass? That's pushing it a bit too far if I do say so myself.”

 

The kappa nods vigorously. “Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Now if it was Gojyo grabbing Sanzo-sama's ass, that would be more like me,” he declares smugly.

 

“Or if it were you grabbing our waitress's ass, that would really be in character,” Hakkai offers with a wide smile.

 

Click.

 

“So you were flirting again, weren't you?!?” Sanzo hisses, the gun now trained back on the kappa.

 

Gojyo sputters. “Wha?? Wha?!” He sticks a finger in the gun's nozzle, struggling with the furious monk, as he leans forward and demands desperately of Hakkai - “What the hell did you go and say that for?!”

 

“Ahaha. It was just an observation on the merits of subs versus dubs, that's all.”

 

“Then would you mind telling that to him?!” Gojyo begs, now wrestling with both the gun and the harisen.

 

“By the way, it's creepy hearing you say `ass', Hakkai,” Goku pipes up, just as the struggling Sanzo bumps sideways into Hakkai, causing their driver to jerk the wheel, causing the jeep to nearly overturn.

 

Hakkai grimaces as he takes back control of the wheel. “See what you started, Goku? And it's only our first day of traveling!”

 

“ME?!”

 

“You don't ever, EVER, mention Gojyo touching anyone but Sanzo,” Hakkai lectures sternly, deftly leaning away from the monk still twisted around in his seat trying to punish the poor kappa.

 

“Ow!!!” Goku exclaims, having just received an ill-aimed swat of the harisen, as Gojyo swerves to avoid it. “Well it was you who mentioned Gojyo grabbing someone else's butt!!” he yells accusingly to Hakkai.

 

Hakkai sighs. “Tell you what, at the next town I propose we leave these two lunatics behind at the inn and just take a plane to India.”

 

“Hm. I guess it's doable. Neither of us smoke, so traveling by plane won't be a problem,” Goku reflects. “Only thing is, I'm not really sure what the heck we're supposed to do once we get there.”

 

“Neither am I,” Hakkai sighs again. “I guess we're stuck with these two.”

 

“Um, speaking of stuck… I think we're back to normal,” Goku informs the healer.

 

Hakkai glances at the kappa and the priest, and they are indeed in the middle of a liplock, as Gojyo has succeeded in solving the matter by kissing the monk senseless.

 

Hakkai shakes his head. “I just wonder how we're going to fare with the first batch of enemies we're likely to run into any moment now…”

 

“Huh,” Goku scoffs. “So long as they stay away from my food, I won't have any trouble at all.”

 

 

B.

 

The restaurant. Gojyo teases Goku, baiting the kid with chicken tempura. They are as loud as ever.

 

Hakkai sits with a miserable face, going through the first of his many migraines on the Journey West. “Aren't you going to say anything?!” he begs the monk, who is calmly drinking his second mug of beer.

 

“Like what?” Sanzo drawls, watching with a bored face as Gojyo keeps the morsel out of Goku's reach with his chopsticks.

 

“Like, `Give him his damn chicken and order your own!' or something…” Hakkai winces.

 

“Kyu?” the dragon squeaks worriedly.

 

“Feh. Why should I?” Sanzo rasps coolly. “At least this way the damn bastard's too preoccupied to even think of chatting up our waitress again,” the monk remarks with a satisfied air.

 

Hakkai glances to Houmei. “I don't think you need to worry about her anyway,” he tells Sanzo matter-of-factly. “Gojyo may be a psychotic flirt, but he doesn't stoop to chatting up anyone as young as that.”

 

Sanzo snorts disbelievingly, but stares in shock the next instant when Houmei returns to their table bearing a fresh tray of tempura. The monk stares in shock, not because Gojyo stops teasing Goku and stands with a wide grin and his hands on his hips; but because Goku immediately blushes and stammers his thanks to the girl, totally ignoring the kappa now.

 

Houmei walks off with a cheery wave, and Gojyo whistles. “Well I'll be damned. Our little monkey is growing up.” He gives Goku a saucy wink.

 

Hakkai forgets his migraine and grins at Goku as well.

 

Sanzo just blinks rapidly, and blinks some more.

 

Goku scowls. “I like her food, alright?!” the kid mutters, ignoring the betraying flush on his cheeks.

 

Gojyo guffaws. “The monkey is crushing on a girl's food! That is too precious!!!” he chortles.

 

“Well, it's very Goku-ish, I must say.” Hakkai smiles, thankful at least that the two have stopped their loud quibbling. He turns to Sanzo, and finds the monk eyeing Goku sternly.

 

“First date curfew is ten o'clock. And you must have a chaperone,” Sanzo states in that tone that brooks no argument.

 

Goku blinks.

 

“Him,” Sanzo continues, pointing at Hakkai.

 

“Yare yare, I knew it…”

 

Goku blinks some more.

 

“I'll give you pointers on how to go beyond first base, if you want,” Gojyo offers wickedly.

 

THWAK!

 

“Or not…” the kappa grins sheepishly, rubbing his shoulder.

 

Goku scratches his head, honestly clueless. Then he shrugs easily as he begins devouring the fresh plates of steaming food. “Suits me if you say she can cook for me until ten o'clock,” he mumbles around a mouthful of chicken. “I don't get why Hakkai has to watch me eat what she cooks though.”

 

“Wait. You really like her food?”

 

Goku snorts. “She's an excellent cook, isn't that obvious?”

 

“Just her food?”

 

“Why, should I like her tea as well?”

 

“…”

 

 

C.

 

Hakkai comes upon Gojyo and Sanzo making out in a shadowy corner of the balcony. The lovers spring apart when they sense someone approaching, and give relieved snorts when they recognize Hakkai.

 

The healer shakes his head. “You two might as well retire to your rooms,” he clucks; motioning to the cold cup of tea by Sanzo's elbow, and the piece of parchment they're supposed to be absorbed in, which unfortunately is upside-down.

 

“See? I told you…” Gojyo growls, scooting his chair close beside Sanzo once more, and leaning in to nibble on the blond's ear. “Let's go to bed, buttercup…” he breathes huskily.

 

The monk squirms. “'Ch,” Sanzo snorts, turning briefly to punish those naughty lips with a quick bite. “And I told you, we have to keep an eye on the monkey!”

 

“But I only have eyes for you…” the kappa purrs, not about to be distracted.

 

“Baka…”

 

“Speaking of which, where is Goku?” Hakkai inquires, glancing around.

 

The lovebirds point simultaneously down, not bothering to stop kissing. Hakkai leans over the balcony railing and catches sight of Goku and Houmei in the backyard. He waves at the kid. Goku nods back.

 

“So why the need to watch him? Sanzo?” Hakkai asks, tapping insistently on Sanzo's shoulder.

 

With a sigh, Sanzo breaks the kiss and turns around with annoyed purple eyes. Gojyo carries on kissing his nape. “Because he's alone with that girl, isn't it obvious?!” the monk replies impatiently. “I won't have him behaving indecently,” the priest continues sternly.

 

“Ehem.” The demon coughs politely. “Wouldn't you say that's a double standard?” Hakkai observes tactfully, with a meaningful grin, as Gojyo continues ravishing the monk's neck.

 

Violet eyes narrow. “Go chaperone, Hakkai,” Sanzo orders dismissively, turning back to Gojyo.

 

“Mmm… yeah… go chaperone, Hakkai,” the kappa echoes happily, in a daze.

 

“Chaperone a couple of kids chopping firewood.” Hakkai raises his eyebrows.

 

“Mmm…” comes the distracted answer.

 

“Sanzo…”

 

“Gojyo…”

 

“Yare yare…” Hakkai sighs. “I just wonder what the Goddess of Mercy was thinking, sending these two retarded lovebirds on a Divine Mission together…”

 

Up in Tenkai, in the middle of their board game, Kanzeon Bosatsu exclaims in pain, clapping a hand to her mouth. “#%@&?%*$%!!!”

 

Jiroushin gives her a strange look.

 

The Goddess glares. “I bit my tongue, all of a sudden…”

 

 

D.

 

Coming from his “date”, Goku encounters the other three at the top of the stairs. He sees the teasing gleam in red eyes, the stern glimmer in purple, and the melancholy shine in green, and he rolls his eyes.

 

Before his companions can speak, Seiten Taisei Son Goku reaches up to finger his limiter threateningly, an I-dare-you challenge glittering from golden eyes.

 

Hakkai muffles his sentimental greeting with a cough, and quickly elbows Gojyo, who yelps and glares, and swiftly reaches over to clamp his hand over Sanzo's mouth.

 

“Mmrphhhhh…”

 

Before the monk can sink his teeth into the large brown hand, a loud noise downstairs distracts the ikkou.

 

“Hm. Looks like a gypsy troop is in town,” Hakkai observes, as several voluptuous girls come into view.

 

The kappa reacts without thinking, unwittingly digging his own grave. “Oh yeah…” Gojyo replies automatically. “I'd like to show a couple of those hotties what's going on under my big top…”

 

The next instant, his eyes widen as he suddenly realizes he's put his foot in his mouth.

 

Click.

 

Gojyo sweatdrops, feeling the ominous bite of cold steel pressed into a - erm, delicate body part. “Um… hehehe… t-that was a joke, Sanzo-sama…”

 

“Oh really…” Sanzo lifts an eyebrow, voice dripping icicles. “How about I blow away your `big top', and let's see how your brains impress the pretty ladies, hm?” the monk says sweetly.

 

“Bwahahaha!!!” Goku roars. “Good one, Sanzo!”

 

Hakkai bites his lip to keep from laughing too.

 

Gojyo ignores them, preoccupied as he is trying desperately to reason with the ice-cold blond.

 

“Baby! You know you're my one and only!” he pleads, groveling before Sanzo. “That was just a preconditioned response, you know I can get professional treatment for it…”

 

Sanzo curls his lip in disdain. “Whatever. I need some me-time anyway.”

 

Gojyo gasps, clutching his chest. “N-noooo!!! You - you can't mean—“

 

“I don't give a shit either way,” Sanzo drawls in a bored voice. “Later.” He turns his back and walks away, leaving the remorseful kappa on his knees, staring disbelievingly after the monk.

 

“Whoa. He really did it,” Goku whispers in awe.

 

But Hakkai is unimpressed. “I'd be more worried if these two didn't break up and get back together at least once a week.”

 

The monkey wrinkles his nose. “I guess you're right,” he mutters disappointedly.

 

Gojyo doesn't hear them, nor does he notice the group of provocatively-dressed, exotic-looking women staring admiringly and making eyes at him. Instead, the kappa stares unseeing through a mist of tears.

 

“Sanzoooooo…!”

 

 

E.

 

Deep night. Hakkai peacefully sleeps off his migraine, Hakuryu curled by his side. Goku dreams happily of a ten-course meal, cooked by the cute girl. Sanzo lies on his side, a hand tucked under his head, muttering darkly about “damn incorrigible, brainless, compulsive, redheaded flirts”.

 

Said redheaded rascal lies sulking in his own room, having begged and pleaded with the monk's closed door, to no avail. When wheedling and scolding and teasing was met with stone-cold silence, he had threatened to demolish the damn door. A warning shot inside told him he was wasting Sanzo's time.

 

“Damn corrupt monk ought to have more faith in me,” Gojyo now mutters, rolling on his side and sighing wistfully at the empty space beside him. “He ought to realize that old habits die hard, and my big mouth just runs away from me sometimes, it doesn't mean a damn thing…”

 

Creak.

 

The door opens, letting in the light from the hallway. His heart jumps for a split second, before he pouts in disappointment. Whoever it is doesn't smell of Marlboro and vanilla musk, so whoever it is can take a hike.

 

“Go away…” Gojyo mutters sulkily.

 

“Um…” comes a low, husky, feminine voice. “I thought maybe you wanted to play…”

 

“Not interested,” the kappa refuses flatly, not even bothering to roll over to face the stranger.

 

“I find that hard to believe…” Light footsteps make their way over to his bed.

 

Sighing, the kappa swings his legs over and sits up. “Sorry, miss, you're wasting your time,” he informs her, running his hand through his hair. “I belong to someone.”

 

“Oh?” the girl purrs, continuing to advance. “I have it on good authority that you're quite the animal in bed…” she croons, sitting beside the kappa.

 

Gojyo grimaces, and stands up quickly. “Only my baby gets to know for sure.”

 

The girl grabs hold of his wrist and yanks him down with unexpected strength, catching Gojyo by surprise.

 

“Oh come on, loverboy. I'm feeling frisky…” she murmurs, leaning into the frantic kappa.

 

“Well I'm not, sweetheart!” Gojyo protests, pulling away sharply. “Look, I don't know what you heard about me, but you're a little out of date. I don't go for this type of thing anymore,” Gojyo insists desperately, fighting the urge to just knock the persistent girl out and throw her out of his room. He wants to be a gentleman about this, but he is this close to throttling her neck, as visions of Sanzo coming upon him in such damning circumstances race through his panicky mind.

 

The girl laughs. “Don't tell me you're gay,” she says coyly.

 

Gojyo hesitates. “We—ll. Technically, not strictly…”

 

“So what's the matter, darling?” she purrs, crowding close to him once more.

 

The kappa backs away. “I told you, I belong to someone!”

 

“I don't see anyone with you now…” The girl raises her eyebrows.

 

Gojyo glares. “We had a fight, okay?! Rub it in, why dontcha…”

 

The girl tries again. “Look, nobody has to know! I promise not to tell your girlfriend…” the assassin croons persuasively, finding it harder than she expected to carry out her mission.

 

Gojyo laughs sarcastically. “Trust me, honey, he's gonna know whether or not anyone tells him. I'm gonna be in deep shit just talking to you…”

 

The girl blinks. “He--?”

 

Gojyo sighs, growing starry-eyed. “Yes. My one and only Sanzo.”

 

“But I was told you have a weakness for women!!!” the demon screeches, thoroughly forgetting to keep up the pretense of being a seductress.

 

“Lady, I have two weaknesses. Tobacco and tart,” Gojyo informs her with narrowed eyes, the inkling of a doubt now starting to form in his mind. His suspicions are confirmed in the next instant when noises erupt next door, evidence of “strangers” invading Hakkai and Goku's rooms as well.

 

Swiftly, before the she-demon can pounce, her razor-sharp claws now extended menacingly, Gojyo rams his fist into her gut. She sputters weakly. “But aren't you Sha Gojyo, airhead playboy and incorrigible, compulsive flirt?”

 

TWITCH.

 

“As I was saying,” the kappa bites out from clenched teeth,” I have two weaknesses. And I'm picky about both - only Hi-Lites and my corrupt monk will do,” he declares fiercely.

 

“You are gay…” the demon accuses with her dying breath.

 

“Only where my Sanzo-chan is concerned.”

 

“Ugh.”

 

Gojyo approaches her. “Listen, can you do me a tiny favor?” the kappa asks eagerly.

 

She blinks up at him in disbelief.

 

“Will you bear witness to my baby that you, a hot babe, came and offered yourself to me, and I flat-out refused you? I'm kinda in the doghouse with my sweetie at the moment…”

 

 

F.

 

Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai burst into Sanzo's room, shouting their leader's name frantically. They find him helplessly tied up, at the mercy of the Spider clan's leader.

 

The Spider-lady bends down and leers in Sanzo's face. “They say that consuming the flesh of a Priest of High Virtue grants you long life…” she taunts.

 

The worried expressions vanish, and Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo burst out laughing. Goku collapses on the floor, rolling and clutching his stomach. Hakkai wipes tears from his eyes. The kappa giggles hysterically.

 

The monk bares his teeth at his companions, but the spider-woman doesn't get it.

 

 

G.

 

“I wonder what will happen if I eat a Sanzo priest?” the Spider-woman muses mockingly. “It must mean I'm going to be granted eternal life!” she cackles. “Now I just have to decide how long to boil you in order to soften up your stubborn hide, my pretty…”

 

A sharp streak of silver flashes out, cutting Sanzo loose from the silken webs. “That dish is spoken for,” Gojyo states unequivocally, ruby eyes narrowed to dangerous slits.

 

Sanzo shoots the kappa a miffed glare, too stubborn to bring himself to kiss and make up with the redhead.

 

“Don't expect any thanks from me,” the blond sniffs haughtily, turning his nose up.

 

Gojyo only grins. “Wouldn't dream of it, Sanzo-sama,” he drawls lazily. “But you do repay your debts, right?” the kappa insinuates with a sexy, irresistible smile, effectively cornering his lover with the remark.

 

Sanzo scowls. “Of course,” the proud blond mutters, conceding the round to the sly kappa.

 

Goku rolls his eyes, and gives a bored yawn.

 

Hakkai whistles nonchalantly, giving Goku an I-told-you-so smile.

 

“W-wait…” the she-demon falters. “So the rumors are true, then? This is the rogue priest, and you're the rogue's lover?”

 

Gojyo smirks smugly. Sanzo mutters darkly. “He's a damn compulsive flirt, that's what he is…”

 

The she-demon snaps her fingers. “Damn! If I'd only known… We should have tempted you with a carton of Hi-Lites instead, then… You're notorious for having eyes only for your hot-headed sweetie-pie…”

 

“See? SEE?!” Gojyo demands triumphantly. “Even the enemy camp knows you're the only one for me!” The kappa opens his arms wide, expecting the monk to rush into them, and shower him with contrite kisses.

 

Sanzo only stands rigid, though. “Should have?” the blond rasps dangerously. “What sort of `temptation' did they send off after you, Gojyo?”

 

“Kami-sama SAVE me!!!” poor Gojyo cries, shaking his fist at the Heavens.

 

“What's going on?” the Spider-woman whispers to Goku and Hakkai, as the lovers go off in another heated quarrel.

 

Hakkai only sighs, but Goku shakes his head. “Trust me, lady, it's a long story…”

 

 

H.

 

The next day, the ikkou take their leave and say farewell to the innkeeper. They apologize for the trouble, but the old man waves it off.

 

“If anyone can fix what's wrong with this world, it's you four. That's what my heart tells me. Am I wrong?” their host smiles.

 

“Don't worry,” Sanzo replies. “I believe in repaying my debts,” he assures the innkeeper.

 

“And boy, does he ever!” the kappa interjects happily, with a naughty wink at his lover.

 

“Urusei!” Sanzo hisses, a faint blush creeping into porcelain cheeks.

 

But the incorrigible kappa waggles his eyebrows. “Told ya it was a good idea to save some of that Spider-lady's silk ropes…” Gojyo purrs, leaning close. “We sure got a lot of use out of them last night, eh?” he whispers into the blond's ear.

 

Sanzo gives a reluctant grin. “Baka…”

 

Houmei arrives in time to present the Sanzo-ikkou with a parting gift. She hands it to Goku, with a low bow. “Please accept this, with my humble apologies,” she whispers shyly.

 

Goku scratches his head, embarrassed. “It's okay, Houmei!” he tells the girl sincerely. “Really!”

 

Houmei lifts her head up and meets honest golden eyes. “Just remember, humans and demons are equal,” Goku tells her earnestly. “We're all the same, deep inside.”

 

Houmei nods happily.

 

“Sanzo--!”

 

“Gojyo…”

 

Goku's wide grin turns into a grimace as Hakkai starts the jeep. “Well… except maybe for those two. They're just retards,” Goku adds ruefully.

 

Gojyo comes up for air long enough to reiterate - “Oi! We're retarded for each other. There's a big difference.”

 

And so the ikkou drive away with the happy omen of bright sunshine and the parting sight of a giggling Houmei standing beside her beaming father. Hakkai is relieved that they've dealt successfully with their first demon encounter, and Goku is delighted to have a whole box of yummy goodies all by himself, as his redheaded nemesis is happily engaged in whispering wickedly into his blond lover's ear, about how he plans to gobble up his “dish” as soon as they get some privacy.

 

 

XxXxX

 

A/N:

 

So sorry for the delay in posting this! Was preoccupied with screaming myself hoarse cheering for Marat Safin, this past week. Sadly, he lost at the fourth round of the US Open. Damn… XD