Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Truly Madly Deeply 4Ever ❯ Pure Assassin ( Chapter 5 )

October 26, 2006

 

v. Pure Assassin

 

In which the assassin sent to deal with the Sanzo-ikkou gets much more than she bargained for, as she ends up being defended by them.

 

 

A.

 

“Please, my Lord, allow me to go undercover for you,” Yaone begs humbly. “Those guys can't go without food and beer for more than twenty miles at a time, they are sure to stop at the next town!”

 

Kougaiji mutters darkly.

 

“What's that?!” Lirin bounces up excitedly. “Count me in, count me in! Let's go and kick some baldy butts!” She punches the air enthusiastically.

 

“Actually, I was thinking of a subtler approach…” Yaone murmurs.

 

Lirin blinks. “Subtle?” She chews on her thumb curiously.

 

“That means `with finesse'. Something you're not capable of,” Dokugakouji informs the puzzled kid, with a mocking grin.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Oh stop teasing Lady Lirin,” Yaone scolds. She turns to her charge. “I'm gonna pretend to be a waitress, see?”

 

“HA!” Doku guffaws. “Between running back and forth to serve up all their gigantic orders of food, you'd be too pooped out to ambush them!” The big youkai grins at Lirin once more. “I hear one of their members can take you on in an eating contest.”

 

Lirin scowls.

 

“And he'd beat you, too,” Doku smirks teasingly.

 

“Oh is that so—!”

 

“I hear that another one of their party is a roguish loverboy,” Kougaiji interjects sharply. He gives Yaone a stern look. “So that means your proposal isn't feasible; a notorious ladykiller like that would eat you right up before you ever had a chance to poison them.”

 

“Oh, but—“

 

“No buts.”

 

“Lord Kougaiji, please hear me out—“

 

“I said, no!”

 

“Well then let me go, onii-chan! Lirin can take all four of them all by myself!”

 

“Silence!”

 

“Actually,” Doku says loudly, causing all three heads to turn and stare at him. “I heard that the redheaded rascal you're so concerned about is in fact Sanzo's boy-toy.”

 

Blink-blink­. Yaone raises her eyebrows.

 

“Huh?” Kougaiji stares disbelievingly.

 

But Lirin shrieks with disillusionment. “Do you have proof of that, huh, huh?!?” She pokes Dokugakouji in the belly with her forefinger. “Who says that the beautiful Genjo Sanzo with the face of an angel is romantically involved?! As president of the Genjo Sanzo Forever Fanclub, I demand to know where you heard such stupid lies!!!” the pint-sized she-demon wails passionately.

 

“Lirin, for shame!” Yaone gasps, with a terrified look at their leader, who is staring at his sister as if she'd sprouted tentacles. “Remember that Priest Sanzo is our enemy!”

 

“A-ha! So that's why you're all fired up to go and meet the Sanzo-ikkou!” Doku teases the livid girl.

 

Kougaiji shakes his head roughly, as if to clear it from a fog. “Hold on, Dokugakouji. What would a holy man be doing having a, er, boy-toy?”

 

“Yes, exactly!” Lirin screeches, eyes sparkling with insistent fangirl worship. “Your information is wrong, so there!”

 

“Actually your information is inaccurate,” Doku informs the Demon Prince, calmly ignoring Lirin who is pummeling him in a fury of denial. “The rumors are not `The Holy Man and the Roguish Loverboy', it's `The Rogue Priest and his Rogue Lover'”.

 

“Eh?”

 

(“Nooooooooooo!!!”)

 

But Yaone giggles nervously. “Yes, my Lord Kougaiji. It's the truth.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It's LIES, I tell you! Lies, horrid lies!!!” Lirin yells. Dokugakouji clumsily pats the young royal comfortingly on the head. But Lirin continues to shriek her denial.

 

“Hush, Lady Lirin!” Yaone admonishes. “You downloaded the proof yourself on the internet, remember? Amethyst slash Ruby… “ she whispers.

 

Kougaiji stares in horror. Doku grins. “Aw, come off it, Kou. We're living in modern times, after all. As the saying goes, `If it makes you happy'… OOF!!!”

 

Lirin punches Doku square in the gut. “Well it doesn't make me happy, darn it!”

 

 

B.

 

Tavern Yamatoya.

 

The rude customer grabs Yaone. Yaone glowers, trying to control herself from blowing her cover.

 

KA-KONG!

 

Out of nowhere, an ashtray comes flying and hits the guy on the head, thereby releasing Yaone from his groping hands. The pharmacist sighs with relief.

 

Meanwhile, at a corner table…

 

“So, what do you think?” Sanzo asks in a low voice. He and Goku are seated opposite Gojyo and Hakkai.

 

“About what?” the kappa replies, leaving Hakkai and Goku to decide on their order as he feasts his eyes on the monk. “What are you talking about? This so-called Kougaiji and his assassins again?” Gojyo sighs, besotted crimson eyes drinking up the golden-haired, porcelain-skinned vision of perfection before him.

 

Twitch.

 

“No,” Sanzo rasps icily, purple eyes glittering dangerously, vein throbbing delicately at his temple.

 

The red eyes suddenly widen in alarm. “San—“

 

THWAK!

 

“—owww!...”

 

“I'm talking about the fact that you're playing hero again, you incorrigible rascal!!!”

 

C.

 

Gojyo and Sanzo argue about the ashtray.

 

“Dammit, you asshole, you should be proud of me!” the kappa explodes, tired of being hit by the harisen.

 

“Proud of you?!” the monk repeats incredulously. “You bastard, I'm supposed to be proud of you showing off to anything in a skirt, am I?!” The harisen is swiftly replaced by the banishing gun, making Gojyo wince. Still, he doesn't back down.

 

“I meant my chivalry, you stupid baldy!” Gojyo yells, in a defiant mood. He stands up and glowers down at the blond.

 

Sanzo's voice drops to a dangerously cool drawl. “Talking back to me, are you, kappa?” He stands up as well, scowling at the halfbreed.

 

Gojyo stares Sanzo down, refusing to budge. No, by golly, not this time. “You've got a problem with that, monk?” he challenges.

 

“So YOU'RE the bastard who threw that ashtray!” the customer yells. He pushes his chair back, prepared to attack the offender, but freezes in his tracks the next instant. His jaw drops as he watches the blond launch himself at the redhead.

 

And kiss the taller man feverishly.

 

“Damn you…” Sanzo mutters between kisses. “You know I can't resist when you're being so dominant and aggressive,” he growls, running long fingers possessively through silken crimson locks.

 

“Hehehe…”

 

“Wait - I thought those two were fighting?” the thug turns curiously to Hakkai.

 

“Ahaha. I wouldn't call it `fighting' per se.”

 

“Are you kidding me? With that amount of hostility and animosity between them, what else would you call it?!”

 

Goku gives a bored yawn. “In their case, it's called `spicing up their lovelife'.”

 

“Reaaaaally…”

 

In the corner, Yaone shakes her head sympathetically. “Poor Lirin… so the rumors are true…”

 

 

D.

 

 

The tavern erupts into a messy brawl as Goku and Gojyo enthusiastically throw themselves in the middle of the throng of tough guys.

 

Over at their table, Hakkai calmly sits grooming the preening Hakuryu with a small brush.

 

Sanzo pinches the bridge of his nose as chairs and tables are overturned, and plates and glasses are broken. “What are those two idiots doing!!” he hisses. “Now they've succumbed to beating up humans as well?!”

 

Hakkai shrugs casually. “Oh, those ruffians need to be taught a lesson anyway. And besides, it's a good opportunity for Goku and Gojyo to work off their excess energy.”

 

“Feh,” Sanzo snorts in disgust. “It's a good excuse for them to build up an almighty appetite, you mean! At my expense, as usual!”

 

A stray goon crash-lands on a nearby table. The monk gives him a pissed glare. The goon sneers at Sanzo. “Oi pretty boy! You're with those two lunatics, arentcha?! Why don't you get off your scrawny ass and fight like a man!”

 

Genjo Sanzo raises a haughty blond eyebrow. Sure enough, Gojyo comes stomping through, flinging off attackers left and right.

 

“You ugly disrespectful bastard! You leave my sweetie-pie alone!!!”

 

BAM!

 

Gojyo dusts his hands off briskly, and steals a quick kiss from Sanzo. “You sit pretty all you want, angel.”

 

“Hn.”

 

And then the kappa turns and frowns accusingly at Hakkai and the mini-dragon. “Hey you slackers! What's the big idea relaxing?! Get off your lazy butts and come help us, why dontcha!” Gojyo marches back into the fray, leaving Hakkai to gape after him indignantly.

 

“Kyu?”

 

Hakkai turns to Sanzo. “Did you—did you HEAR that guy?!” he sputters.

 

Sanzo shrugs. “Whatever,” he drawls, with the ghost of a grin.

 

 

E.

 

Yaone is puzzled about the Sanzo-ikkou's zeal in defending her. Hakkai gives her a charming smile. “We're just trying to save a pretty lady from an ugly thing,” he informs her with a gallant little nod.

 

Goku nudges Gojyo. “See? That's the way to pick up a lady.”

 

Gojyo bristles hotly.

 

Sanzo tweaks Goku's ear. “Dammit, don't go giving him any ideas, bakazaru!!!”

 

Goku yelps, but calls incorrigibly to Hakkai. “Way to go, Hakkai! Very classy moves!” Hakkai bows. Gojyo scowls, torn between taking the bait of the cheeky monkey, and staying clear of the Sanzo doghouse. Goku smirks gleefully. Sanzo folds his arms and narrows his eyes.

 

But Yaone frowns, as Hakkai's words ring in her ear.

 

-flashback-

 

Kougaiji: Don't get me wrong. I didn't save you for a romantic reason.

 

Yaone (blushes): I know… you and Jien… er…

 

Kougaiji (reddens): Hush! That horrible woman doesn't know anything about it!

 

Yaone: Don't worry, my Lord! My lips are sealed…

 

-end flashback-

 

Yaone murmurs softly to herself. “And he never asked anything more of me… Nope… Because he was getting it from Jien… *sigh*…”

 

“What's that?” Hakkai asks politely. “I'm afraid I didn't catch what you were saying.”

 

“What?!” Yaone squeaks. “Nothing! I was, er - I was saying that you must be the smart one of the group!”

 

Hakkai ducks his head modestly. “Ahehe… Actually, yes I am, thank you.” He gives her a warm smile.

 

Yaone's eyes widen. Hah! Jien can keep his silly old Kougaiji. Yaone has found a new crush… Oh my, and just like Lady Lirin, it's one of the enemy! She giggles giddily. “I just adore smart guys…”

 

“I'm glad to hear that, Miss… er…”

 

“Yaone. Please call me Yaone.”

 

Goku snickers. “Smooth… real smooth…”

 

“Oh, shut up!” *THWAK!* Sanzo then turns to Gojyo, a threatening gleam in his eye.

 

But Gojyo calmly placates him. “I'm all yours, Sanzo-chan. I promise.”

 

“Hn. You'd better be.”

 

The kappa grins sexily, and waggles his eyebrows. “Is that a challenge to prove it to you? C'mere, you beautiful thing…”

 

“OI! Not here, you idiot—!”

 

 

F.

 

Yaone releases the sleeping gas.

 

“What do you think you're doing?!” Hakkai exclaims sharply.

 

But Yaone blushes. “Sorry, Hakkai-san. I just didn't want anybody to see… You know, me fraternizing with the enemy…” She bows her head shyly.

 

Hakkai smiles understandingly. “Then what do you say we step outside and continue our little talk?” He gallantly steps aside and waves for Yaone to precede him.

 

Yaone sighs. “And a gentleman on top of it all…” She floats outside. Hakkai follows with a wide grin.

 

 

G.

 

Goku recovers from the sleeping gas. He sits up slowly, gingerly rubbing his head. He looks around for his companions, and gives a disgusted snort. “Oh dammit, not again! You guys are just unbelievable!”

 

Sanzo is woken by the loud grumbling and finds himself pinned beneath a spread-eagled Gojyo. He takes in the scene around him as his head quickly clears, and immediately grabs hold of a handful of crimson hair, giving it a firm tug. “Oi, kappa! Dammit baby, did you kiss me senseless again?! In the middle of a fight?!”

 

Gojyo slowly comes to his senses and raises his head to peer owlishly down at Sanzo. “Hm? … Do you know what, I honestly can't remember…” He gives Sanzo a woozy grin. “But it must have been some kiss, if it knocked me out too.”

 

Goku mutters darkly, rolling his eyes. “And here we go again…”

 

The monk glares up at the grinning kappa for a split second, before the animal attraction between them rears its head and their mouths lock together automatically, like opposite poles of a magnet.

 

“Gojyo…”

 

“Sanzo!”

 

“RETARDS!” Goku yells, but they pay him no mind.

 

H.

 

Sanzo orders Kougaiji to stop making fun of his companions.

 

Kougaiji sneers tauntingly. “You climbed all the way up here, did you?”

 

Sanzo snorts loftily. “And tore my robes in the process, thank you very much…”

 

Hakkai groans despairingly. “There goes another hour I could be spending catching up on my reading! Instead I'll be darning again… He insists on tiny stitches too…”

 

Goku grins mockingly. “At least it's a small tear this time, comparatively speaking…”

 

Gojyo scowls defensively. “What??? So I get impatient sometimes! It's my baby's fault for being so mouth-watering…”

 

“We know, we know!” Goku and Hakkai chorus wearily.

 

Back up on the rooftop, Kougaiji tosses Sanzo a superior, challenging look. “Let the chase begin!”

 

POOF!

 

The Demon Prince dramatically vanishes.

 

Blink-blink.

 

And then the monk stomps his foot. “Shit! I should've just shot him…”

 

“DUH!” Goku.

 

“Ya think?” Hakkai.

 

“Hehehe…” Gojyo.

 

… BANG-BANG-BANG!!!

 

“Whoopsie…”

 

“Yare yare…”

 

“Dammit baby, shoot the enemy, not us!!!”

 

“URUSEI!!!”

 

 

I.

 

Twilight. Sanzo joins Hakkai at the window. The healer raises his eyebrows. Sanzo sighs. “Lend me a couple of aspirin. I swear those two idiots are trying to give me a stroke.”

 

Hakkai hands the pills to Sanzo distractedly, busy sending SMS messages.

 

“Listen Hakkai,” Sanzo says, oblivious. “If you feel that you need to take care of unfinished business - you should follow your own path. But make sure that revenge is a path you want to take.”

 

“Hm,” Hakkai replies absentmindedly. “How about a sweet little fling? Does that sound like a good path to take?”

 

“Eh?”

 

“Ahaha. Nothing, nothing.” Hakkai waves his hand. “I want to be here, Sanzo.”

 

“You sure about that? I won't give you any more chances to back out, and be rid of those two morons forever…” Sanzo mutters.

 

“I'm sure,” Hakkai smiles. “I'd hate to think of the Goddess' wrath, with Goku running amok with the credit card while you and Gojyo hole up in your room making out 24/7 while the mission goes to hell… She's going to hunt me down and pin all the blame on me, I just know it.”

 

“Hn.”

 

“So you see, it's much simpler this way.”

 

“I suppose…” Sanzo sighs.

 

“But!” Hakkai adds, as his mobile phone beeps and he reads the new message with a pleased little smile, “I reserve the right to take a day off anytime I deem fit.”

 

“Fair enough. Just be sure to give me enough advance notice. File your leave ahead of time,” Sanzo instructs the ikkou's Executive Secretary-Monkey Sitter-Chief Nurse-Head Cook. Hakkai nods distractedly, grinning down at his cell phone. Sanzo narrows his eyes calculatedly. “And no fraternizing with the enemy on official business hours,” Sanzo adds coolly.

 

Hakkai gapes at him.

 

“Of course what you do on your time off is none of my business,” Sanzo continues with a mocking grin. “Just make sure you keep it strictly to flirting. Don't reveal any of our secrets…”

 

“How—what—why—“ Hakkai stammers in astonishment.

 

Goku and Gojyo appear at that instant. The kappa saunters over to the monk and drapes lanky bronze arms around him, nuzzling Sanzo's temple while giving Hakkai a wink. “You're forgetting… he gets the Talking Heads to spy for him, remember?”

 

“Kyu!” Hakuryu chirps.