Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Truly Madly Deeply 4Ever ❯ Confront: The Man Who Foretells Death ( Chapter 8 )

January 13, 2007

 

viii. Confront: The Man Who Foretells Death

 

In which it is Hakkai's turn to deal with an obsessed stalker of his own. Ahahaha… Unfortunately, the stalker has a hard time catching Hakkai's attention… ^^;;

 

 

A.

 

“Hey!” Goku demands on their third day of non-stop showdown with a load of youkai. “Notice anything strange about these guys?!”

 

“You mean the fact that everytime we kill them they come back to life like zombies?” Hakkai grimaces.

 

A flashbulb goes off above their leader's head, reflecting on the brilliant golden hair and causing the rest of the ikkou to shield their eyes. Sanzo commences his impressive banishing stance and shouts out commandingly: “By the power of the scripture… the dead be gone!!!” The Holy Scripture flies from his shoulders and puts an end to their enemies once and for all.

 

“At last!” Hakkai drops to the ground, wiping his forehead.

 

“About time, too!” Goku grumbles, and collapses spread-eagled too. “Man, I worked up a huge appetite…”

 

But the kappa plants his hands on his hips and glares. “Dammit, Sanzo-chan, you could've done that days ago!” he accuses.

 

“Urusei!”

 

“Now I'm too exhausted to ravish you like I planned!”

 

Goku snorts. “Well that's one thing to be grateful for… at least we'll be able to sleep in peace and quiet tonight…”

 

Twitch.

 

“On the other hand,” Hakkai murmurs, “a frustrated Sanzo would be a heck of a lot worse to deal with…”

 

TWITCH.

 

“Ah, but there are plenty of other ways to love my baby even if I can't ravish him…” Gojyo drawls, with a saucy wink.

 

“Hn.”

 

The kappa grins smugly, Hakkai shrugs resignedly, and Goku groans dismally. “Whoopee…”

 

Sanzo snorts at the monkey's remark, Gojyo guffaws, and even Hakkai chuckles. Goku frowns crossly. “What?!”

 

“That is what is called a double entendre, Goku,” the healer explains, trying to keep a serious face.

 

“I don't get it…”

 

“Nevermind.”

 

 

B.

 

Goku receives a lesson on the Holy Scriptures. Sanzo informs him that the Maten Scripture he wears has the power to Shatter Darkness, while Seiten Sutra of his Master has the power to Create Light.

 

“Hmm…” Goku digests this information for several seconds. And then the kid snorts. “Huh. So they're practically the same, then,” Goku muses.

 

Gojyo shakes his head. “I could have told you not to bother explaining things to the moron…” he chuckles.

 

But Sanzo looks at Goku curiously. “And how did you come to that conclusion, bakazaru?”

 

“Simple. How else do you banish darkness if not to create light?” his charge replies calmly. “And when you create light, naturally the darkness goes away, doesn't it? Arithmetic, my dear fellow.”

 

The kappa's jaw drops. Sanzo sighs, and turns to give Hakkai a piercing look. “You've been putting metaphysical ideas into his head again, haven't you?” the monk demands of the monkey's tutor.

 

“Ahaha…” Hakkai laughs sheepishly. “It's just that the inner workings of the Great Sage's mind fascinates me… it was just an experiment…”

 

“What are you, Ni Jienyi?!” Sanzo snaps.

 

Meanwhile, the kappa taps on his lover's shoulder. “Run that scripture lesson by me again, sweets. I think the stupid monkey might actually be right…”

 

“Urusei!”

 

 

C.

 

“Sanzo! Sanzo! Look at that!” Goku bounces excitedly in his seat, pointing to the town just coming into view. “All that zombie killin' has made me hungry…”

 

“If we stop, we might run into more of them, though…” Gojyo remarks skeptically.

 

“I'm starving!!!” Goku yells.

 

Gojyo shrugs. “Tough shit.”

 

“Look,” Goku rounds fiercely on the kappa. “I'm so hungry I'll eat you if I don't get a burger soon!”

 

Gojyo glowers back. “Damn right you can eat me, you little twisted monkey faggot!!!” he snaps.

 

Uh-oh.

 

BANG-BANG-BANG! The kappa and the monkey barely dodge the bullets.

 

“Over my dead body!!!” the monk roars. Unsatisfied, the priest whips out the harisen and starts thwacking away. Goku saves his hide by diving behind the kappa, leaving Gojyo at the mercy of the Wrath of Sanzo.

 

“Dammit, baby, I was only kidding! Jeez!!!” Gojyo yells, shielding himself with his arms.

 

Sanzo glares one more time for good measure, and then drops back down to his seat. “Carry on,” he orders Hakkai calmly. The healer shakes his head, and speeds up once more.

 

In the backseat, Goku naughtily sticks his tongue out at the kappa. Gojyo flips him the finger and turns instead to croon into Sanzo's ear. “So sweet the way you're so possessive, Sanzo-sama…”

 

“'Ch,” Sanzo snorts. “Who said I was being possessive?”

 

The kappa blinks, nonplussed. “Back there, when you—“

 

“Baka,” the blond cuts in witheringly. “I meant I'll be damned if you corrupt Goku and turn him into a pervert, you idiot,” the monk drawls with mock innocence.

 

Gojyo stares while Goku laughs his head off at the expression on the kappa's face. Hakkai bites his lip. When Sanzo starts cracking jokes, it's really time to find a shop that sells cigarettes…

 

But the kappa has the last word as he murmurs wickedly into the blond's ear. “You mean, like I turned you into a pervert, hmm?”

 

Sanzo flushes. “Be QUIET, demon!”

 

“I bet you're just dying to use the harisen on my pervy little a—“

 

Sanzo swiftly turns around and clamps his hand over the naughty redhead's mouth, purple eyes burning into crimson. “We're stopping at this town,” the monk orders imperiously, making Goku whoop with glee.

 

“Yes! Drive straight to the restaurant, Hakkai!” Goku cheers.

 

“Drop us off at the inn first,” Sanzo rasps, still staring into wicked scarlet eyes now gleaming triumphantly at him. “I need to teach this fool a lesson…”

 

Hakkai shakes his head resignedly. “Hai-hai…”

 

The incorrigible kappa crows and rubs his hands together gleefully. “Yes! Punishment…” he cackles, leering at Sanzo.

 

“Baka…”

 

 

D.

 

Kougaiji stares solemnly up at the frozen image of his mother, his ears still ringing from Gyokoumen Koushou's taunts. The prince's fists clench determinedly. “I will save you darling mother, even if it means sending everything into chaos! “ Kougaiji vows dramatically.

 

Yaone skids into the room and ruins the poignant effect. “Everything's in chaos!” the pharmacist shrieks. “I can't find Lady Lirin anywhere!”

 

Kougaiji's cool pose vanishes as steam shoots out of his ears. “That bitch!!! What was she thinking?!”

 

 

E.

 

“Wow! You know how long it's been since we've been shopping?!” Goku exclaims, looking around him happily at the bustling town.

 

“I'm actually relaxed…” Gojyo comments, arms linked behind his head, giving Sanzo a cheeky wink.

 

“Good…” the monk croons, grinning back devilishly. “You ought to be, you hedonist…” Sanzo continues in a low, contented growl, the both of them having just rejoined the other two after their brief “stop” at the inn.

 

A little way ahead, Goku goes into fits of ecstasy, having just espied the love of his life. “OOOHHH!!! Wow!!!” The monkey turns to Sanzo, eyes sparkling. “They're bee-yooo-ti-fuuuuul…” he sighs. “Hey! Sanzo! I want you to buy me some of those!”

 

“Nuh-uh.”

 

“Why not?!” Goku wails.

 

Purple eyes grow blank. “Not listening…”

 

“Ah, just give the kid a meat bun, will you,” Hakkai the indulgent chides.

 

Golden eyebrows levitate loftily. “Brats only whine because they know you'll give them what they want,” Sanzo drawls in a superior tone.

 

“Ahaha. And no doubt you're an authority on the subject…” Hakkai observes, with a sidelong glance at Gojyo.

 

“OI!” Gojyo protests indignantly. “I'll have you know, whining only works half the time!” The kappa breaks into a wolfish grin. “Half the time it's good old seduction that does the trick… ne, Sanzo-chan?” The kappa waggles his eyebrows and wiggles his hips naughtily.

 

“Baka…”

 

 

F.

 

“Brats only whine because they know you'll give them what they want.”

 

Gojyo leans his arm on Sanzo's shoulder and murmurs wickedly. “My, my, my. Look at how quickly the droopy-eyed priest has become the mother around here…”

 

Twitch.

 

Sanzo shoves the Smith and Wesson against the kappa's face. “Wanna say that again?” the monk drawls silkily. “I'm the Rogue Priest, you moron, he's the mother hen—“ Sanzo gestures to Hakkai, and then waves to Goku “—that's the pet monkey—“

 

“FOUL!!!” Goku yells.

 

“—and you're—“

 

“I'm the Rogue's Lover,” Gojyo declares happily, unfazed.

 

Violet eyes narrow. “Soon-to-be-EX-lover, if you keep making smart-ass remarks,” the blond huffs irritably, putting the gun away.

 

“Hehehe… sorry, baby.”

 

“Hmph.” Sanzo walks on ahead.

 

“Don't you believe it… he can't live without me,” Gojyo assures Hakkai and Hakuryu.

 

“Er…” Hakkai scratches his nose.

 

“Kyu…” the dragon squeaks doubtfully.

 

But the monkey yells in frustration. “HEY! What about my darn meatbuns, then?!?”

 

 

G.

 

“Excuse me, gentlemen!” Chin Yisou calls. “Come here and I will tell you what awaits you on your journey.”

 

Scarlet eyes light up. “Oooooh! A fortune-teller!” he exclaims excitedly. “C'mon sweetie-pie! Let's find out when I'm gonna have your baby!”

 

THWAK!

 

“Baka!”

 

While the kappa grins sheepishly at the scowling Sanzo, Goku elbows Hakkai and murmurs hopefully. “Maybe we'll get lucky and that guy will tell us they're going to elope and leave us in peace…”

 

Hakkai winces. “If he's the real deal, he's going to tell us that they're going to keep breaking up and getting back together for the rest of our lives…”

 

“You mean we're stuck with their annoying lover's quarrels and embarrassing PDAs?! Forever?!?” Goku wails.

 

Hakkai nods ruefully, trying to ignore the usual shrill scolding of the monk and the plaintive wheedling of the kappa, which is going to lead to another make-out session sooner or later. He just hopes it's later.

 

Chin Yisou blinks at being ignored. He clears his throat and speaks louder. “Tell me now, do you know how closely you walk with death?”

 

Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai all turn and stare disbelievingly at Chin Yisou, back to their leader with his arms folded, harisen in hand, foot tapping ominously and a dangerous tic beating away at his temple, and back to Chin Yisou again.

 

“Duh!” Goku snorts derisively.

 

“Believe me, sir, we know. Ahaha.”

 

“In fact, we escape death everyday too,” Gojyo adds proudly.

 

TWITCH.

 

“Shut up and die!!!” Sanzo screeches.

 

BANG-BANG-BANG!

 

“Hehehe… S-see what I mean?”

 

 

H.

 

“You freak! You're just a con artist!” Goku yells.

 

Chin Yisou raises his finely plucked eyebrows. “Perhaps you would prefer to look at my mahjong pieces? They tell people's fates. See?” He holds up a blank tile, which is inscribed with `Disaster' before Goku's very eyes.

 

The monkey gapes. “Hey, how'd you do that?!” Goku grabs another blank tile and pushes it insistently into the fortune-teller's palm. “Here, do mine, do mine!”

 

“B-but—“

 

Gojyo shoves Goku aside and picks up another piece. “Oi! Tell my and Sanzo's fortune! I better see `Happily Ever After' on the tile, or else…”

 

“I asked him first, cockroach!” Goku bellows, squeezing in once more.

 

“We all know perfectly well you'll only get `Glutton' on your piece, bakazaru!” Gojyo yells back.

 

“Oh yeah?! And you'll only get `Pervert' on yours!!!”

 

Chin Yisou stares. “But—!“

 

“Hmph! Don't tell me you're going to make a fool of yourself, too,” Sanzo drawls deridingly, lighting up a smoke as Hakkai determinedly walks over to the table too.

 

“Actually,” the healer replies over his shoulder, “I'm gonna ask if he's willing to sell me his mahjong set, seeing as how someone very inconsiderately gave my old set away to the monastery…”

 

“'Ch.”

 

“Unlimited Porkbuns!” Goku demands, jostling with Gojyo for space directly in front of Chin Yisou. “No, wait - make that, Unlimited Yakitori!”

 

“Gojyo And Sanzo Forever!” the kappa insists, rapping his blank tile impatiently on the table.

 

Hakkai comes level with the two and shoves them aside, where they immediately engage in a scuffle. “I'd like to make an offer to purchase your mahjong set, please.” Hakkai smiles politely. “Preferably with the pieces marked correctly for actual playing, of course.”

 

“But… but…” Chin Yisou stammers. “This isn't what I planned at all!” he squeaks wildly, looking from the cloud of dust and fists and kicking legs that is Goku and Gojyo, to the haughty and bored-looking Sanzo, to the calmly smiling Hakkai with the mini-dragon perched on his shoulder peering curiously down at him with a friendly “Kyu?” The fortune-teller sweatdrops. “This is just absolute bedlam!”

 

“Ah.” Hakkai nods kindly. “Well, what do you expect? We are the Sanzo-ikkou, after all… chaos and mayhem is our motto and our trademark. Right, Sanzo?”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Son Goku, Equal to Heaven!!!”

 

“Sanzo and Gojyo, Truly Madly Deeply Forever!!!”

 

 

I.

 

“Well, Goku, looks like you got your wish. That there is one heck of a meatbun!” Gojyo whistles.

 

“It looks a little tough to me…” Goku mutters.

 

“Hmm… Come to think of it…” The kappa grins. “It's big and hard and purple… that wouldn't remind you of anything, would it, Sanzo-chan? Hehe…”

 

“'Ch.”

 

Hakkai grimaces too. “I swear, your phallic obsession is beyond comparison…” he scolds.

 

“What?” Gojyo asks innocently. “Doesn't it remind you of Barney?”

 

“Oh! It reminds me of Chibitubbies, actually!” Goku puts in enthusiastically. “Remember, where Sanzo is Tink—“

 

THWAK!

 

“BAKAZARU!!!”

 

“That's right!” Hakkai agrees, remembering. “My poor Hakuryu…” he mourns.

 

“Hehehe…” Crimson eyes gleam. “Biiiiiiig hug!!!” Gojyo launches himself at Sanzo.

 

Meanwhile, the ignored Shikigami stops mid-roar and looks at Chin Yisou for help. His master shrieks furiously. “How the heck am I supposed to take my revenge on Gonou with him surrounded by these idiots! It's not fair!!!”

 

 

J.

 

CRASH! The group barely dive away from the debris hurled by the big bad monster.

 

“Boy, he doesn't hold back,” Gojyo drawls.

 

Sanzo rolls his eyes. “WhatEVER should we do?” he asks sarcastically, somehow managing to look down his haughty, aristocratic nose at the huge creature towering over him.

 

“Kawaii!!!” Gojyo pounces Sanzo, distracted by the blond's sheer magnificent disdain. “You are such a proud, arrogant bastard!” he croons, nuzzling the monk's ear. “It's such a turn-on…”

 

Out of nowhere, a shriek of jealousy pierces the air, and a slip of a tomboy rushes toward the lovers, accidentally killing the Shikigami in her hurry.

 

Blink-blink.

 

Lirin plants her feet apart and points a long, quivering fingernail at the kappa. “Aw-RIGHT! You want a piece of me? Let go of my beautiful Genjo Sanzo at once, or prepare-to-meet-yer-DOOM!”

 

Blink-blink.

 

“Um,” Gojyo murmurs, eyebrows raised in surprise. “I'm not really up for this. Why don't you guys take her?”

 

“Ehem,” Hakkai coughs, discreetly covering up a grin. “I believe she challenged you directly, Gojyo. It would seem that you're not the only one who thinks Sanzo belongs to you.”

 

“Pfffttt…” Goku scorns. “Just another lovesick lunatic, as if we needed any more…”

 

“At least it's a girl this time!” Hakkai declares brightly.

 

The monk raises an eyebrow. “What can I say… Don't hate me because I'm beautiful…” he sighs, making the other two roll their eyes at each other. The kappa of course groans throatily and showers Sanzo with kisses. “Arrogant and egotistical…dammit monk, are you asking to be ravished right here, right now?!” he growls. His lover only grins wickedly in reply.

 

“GRRRRR!!!” Lirin balls her fists. “Darn it! You guys aren't taking me seriously!” she yells. Steam spouts from her nostrils as Gojyo and Sanzo stare dreamily at each other. She pounces, face green and spitting with jealousy.

 

Sanzo captures her easily. “Lemme down! Lemme-down-lemme-down-lemme-down!!!” Lirin wails.

 

Sanzo raises a cool eyebrow at her.

 

“Lemme down, or I'll—“

 

“Or you'll what?” Sanzo mocks, putting his face close to her.

 

The youkai's eyes glaze over. “Lemme down or I'll KISS ya!” Lirin puckers her lips and smacks them.

 

SPLAT!

 

Sanzo retreats behind Gojyo and peeps over the kappa's shoulder.

 

Lirin winces and drums her fingers on the ground disgustedly. “Darn it! I was so close…”

 

 

K.

 

“You hand over my little sister right now!” Kougaiji calls threateningly from the rooftop.

 

Lirin waves madly. “Hey there! Good ta see ya!”

 

“You IDIOT!” the Brat Prince yells. “Get your ass up here!”

 

“I'm not leaving until I get a kiss!” Lirin declares stubbornly. Sanzo balks and ducks lower behind Gojyo. He reaches out with a hand and shoves Goku forward.

 

“Wha—?! Hey!” the monkey protests, stumbling a little.

 

“Urusei!!!” Sanzo hisses. “Create a distraction! Fight her big brother, or something!” the monk orders desperately.

 

Meanwhile, Yaone smiles happily at Hakkai. “Hello!” she beams.

 

“What's up?” Hakkai replies, eyes twinkling.

 

They take up battle poses, while continuing their whispered conversation.

 

“I couldn't sleep at all last night after that last text message you sent…” Yaone giggles. “It was so sweet, I couldn't stop reading it over and over…”

 

Hakkai turns pink. “I'm glad you liked it, to tell you the truth it's been a while since I played the dating game…”

 

“But you're not rusty at all!” Yaone bats her eyelashes coyly.

 

“Ahaha…”

 

“So it's you and me, shouderpad,” Gojyo challenges the remaining member of the Kougaiji-tachi, leaving his sweetie-pie to keep the overeager Lirin at bay with the Fan of Doom.

 

“Gojyo…” Dokugakouji shakes his head fondly.

 

“H-huh?”

 

“It IS you,” the big youkai declares with a broad grin. “You know, I wasn't 100% sure until I saw you face-to-face…” Doku laughs. “I should have known only an incorrigible rascal like you could steal the heart of the cold Genjo Sanzo…”

 

The kappa tilts his chin proudly. “That's right! I'm the—“

 

“—Rogue's Lover. I know,” his big brother finishes, grinning wider than ever. “But I'm afraid I've given my allegiance to Kougaiji, and once I've made a promise, nothing can make me break it!” Doku summons his sword impressively.

 

“Hn.” The kappa narrows his eyes. “Well that's too bad, because I've made a promise to my baby as well, forever `n ever till death do we part, and I don't break my promises either!”

 

Up on the cliff, Chin Yisou stares incredulously as Gonou is, er— distracted once again, this time by a band of flashily-dressed youkai. “Grrr… I refuse to be ignored any longer!!!” He tugs at his ears frustratedly, and then suddenly freezes as he realizes he's torn a lobe clean off. “OWWW!!!” he howls. “Dang it all to heck!!!”