Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ A little life ❯ One-Shot
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: saturnssavior 
All the things he should have said, wishing for another chance to say them. YxS.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst / Shounen | Type: Vignette | Uploaded On: 06.08.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 762 | Status: Completed
All the things he should have said, wishing for another chance to say them. YxS.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst / Shounen | Type: Vignette | Uploaded On: 06.08.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 762 | Status: Completed
A little life
7maxwell
Gravitation: YukixShuichi
Sap, based on the lyrics by Kate Bush, 'This Woman's Work'
-cident...-black snow...-car turned over...-steep cliff...-severly injured...-mother did not survive...-say goodbye...-son will not last the night...-sorry. My condolences...-is that the lover?...-poor soul...
-I'm sorry, but he probably won't last the night. If he does, it's by miracle alone. It's best to be realistic about this and prepare yourself. -say goodbye while you have the chance.
Yuki's hands shook as he stood outside the ICU room where Shuichi lay, waiting for the shinigami that would take his life. Take him away from his family, his friends, his dreams and hopes.
From him.
Opening the door, Yuki stepped in and closed it softly behind him. The sound of Shu's slow heart beat sent a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. The sight of his lover covered in bandages and attached to several tubes forced a slight gasp past the lump in his throat, making it difficult for Yuki to breathe.
Shuichi looked so small and broken on that sterile bed that Yuki just wanted to take his lover into his arms and carry him away from this lonely place. Shuichi would want that instead. He never did like hospitals, always claiming that they never did anything but remind him of death. Shuichi wouldn't want to die here but...Yuki had no choice.
Sighing, he ran a tired hand through his disheveled hair and took seat beside the bed.
Hesitantly he reached a shaky hand out to touch Shuichi's cold clammy one. Cradling his lovers hand, Yuki sat there for some time, the sound of his lovers respirator as it forced air through his once powerful lungs, the only sound in the room. Settling himself for what he knew was going to be a long night, Yuki took in the surroundings in the small room. The accident happened so quickly, so unexpectedly that no one had time to prepare, no time for flowers or farewells.
A loud beep made him look at Shu's heart monitor and for a moment he hoped, almost believed that it was normal, but Shu's heart remained low, slow...weak.
Releasing a shuddering breathe he didn't know he held, Yuki sat back in the small plastic chair, his hand still holding Shuichi's. A small picture frame caught his attention and he lifted it with his free hand. It was a picture of Shuichi's mother. She didn't survive the accident, in fact from what paramedics have said, it seemed as if she gave herself to save her son's life. Shielding him with her body from the bitter cold as they waited in the snow for help to arrive.
Her remaining body heat saved Shuichi. Shuichi would have died out in the snow if not for this woman.
"Thank you." Yuki whispered, surprised to hear himself say it. He set the picture frame back on the small bedside table. Looking back to Shuichi, he could clearly see where his lover inherited his looks. Like mother like son, he thought sadly.
--Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.--
Yuki looked at the clock, the numbers showing eight and twenty two in the evening, but outside it looked as if it was past the witching hour. It was going to be a long night indeed.
Yuki hated waiting. It left him time to think. Things he didn't want to think about usually crept up to him when he had to wait and right now the only thing that he could think of was his lost lover...the lover he was loosing.
The beating heart of his cold soul.
He released Shuichi's hand to grab his hair as the memories started to run through his mind.
"Shu...please..."
--I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.--
///
"Yuki can you take me to my parent's house tonight please?" Shuichi asked, his big violet eyes giving Yuki his best puppy imitation.
"I can't Shu, I have a deadline you know that." Yuki said tiredly. "Can't you get Hiro to take you?"
Shu bowed his head and took a few steps back. "No. He's already gone home himself." Shu then looked outside the window at the bleak darkness that had swallowed the afternoon. "I guess I can call my mom..."
"I'm sorry." Yuki said, looking out the window as well.
"I know." Shuichi smiled at him, "Let me go call her."
Yuki nodded, his eyes following Shuichi's form as he left the office. The door closed with a 'click' and amber eyes returned to stare out the window. It was dark and dreary, it looked...dangerous.
///
--I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking--
"I shouldn't have let you go. Or I should have at least taken you." Yuki said, his voice quavering, "At least that way we could have been together."
--Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.--
///
Tears fell from those beautiful violet eyes and it nearly broke Yuki's heart. "Tell me you love me? Why can't you just say it?" Shuichi clenched his fingers around a pristine white shirt. "Please, just...just once I want to hear it from your lips."
Shuichi wept.
Of all the times that his lover had cried, this was one of the few times that he actually wept real tears and it pulled at the strings of Yuki's entire being.
He stared into those sad eyes that longed for the affection he so rightfully deserved, but instead of saying what he really wanted to say, those three little words Shuichi yearned for, Yuki simply pressed his lips against Shuichi's.
Shuichi sobbed but leaned into the kiss anyway.
///
"I love you." Yuki whimpered, "I love you Shuichi...please...don't..." Yuki broke, a single tear trailing down his pale cheek.
--Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.--
////
"Ne Yuki look at the sky, isn't it beautiful?" Shuichi said pointing to the glittering stars that sparkled above them.
'Not as much as you' Yuki thought as he watched his lover spin himself in round and round, arms extended, laughing at the snow flakes that started to fall on his etheral face.
"Look Yuki, it's snowing!"
The novelist looked up and sure enough the sky started showering them with little white kisses.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Shuichi said in awe.
Smiling to himself, Yuki strode up to his lover and wrapped his arms around him. "It is." He said, more to Shuichi then to the sky. "It's really...marvelous."
They looked into each others eyes briefly before Yuki lowered his lips to smaller soft ones. "Truly...magnificent."
///
--Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.--
Closing his eyes, Yuki wept softly at first then louder and louder until he pressed his hand over his mouth to silence the wails that longed to come out openly.
--I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.--
"Please Shu..." He begged, "Please fight this, don't go please."
--I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking--
"If you fight this...I promise I'll be better. If you give me a second chance I'll show you...I'll tell you I love you. I just...please..."
--Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.--
"God..." Yuki began. "Please, please...please god please give me another chance. Give us another chance and I promise to get it right this time. I'll do everything better, I..."
The alarm next to him went off and Yuki jumped. 'No, god please not yet, give me some more time!' Yuki prayed, but it was only the small clock beside him.
It was midnight.
More tears slipped down Yuki's cheeks, "please god, I need him."
--Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.--
-can't be...-truly impossible...-no way...-the entire night...-the both of them?...-the poor dear...-how do we tell him?...-leave him be...
Yuki woke to the sounds of murmuring outside of the ICU. He sat up and groaned at the protest his neck muscles gave him for sleeping in a slumped position.
Light filtered in through the lacy curtains of the window and Yuki's eyes flew from window to Shuichi's pale body. His heart monitor was unplugged and so was the respirator that kept him alive.
'No' he thought, 'I..I slept through it. Shuichi...no...' Getting up, pain or no pain, Yuki pressed his forhead to his lovers and cried silently.
He never got to see Shuichi's last moments.
"Mr. Uesugi?"
Yuki ignored him. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want it confirmed.
"Mr. Uesugi?"
The voice persisted and Yuki continued to cry.
"Mr. Uesugi please, I need to examine Mr. Shindou."
Why? He already passed. What more confirmation did they need?
He didn't move, refused to even as orderlies forced him away.
"No, please just leave him alone. Let him rest in peace!" Yuki shouted, angry at them for touching Shuichi. No one was allowed to touch him. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
"Mr. Uesugi if you would please calm down-"
"No, leave him alone. You bastards let him die! Just leave him alone! Don't touch him!" Yuki yelled, screamed at them.
"Mr. Uesugi please-"
"Leave him alone!"
"Mr. Uesugi!"
"NO!" Yuki fought back but to no avail.
"He's not dead."
That stopped him cold.
"W-What?"
"Mr. Shindou's not dead. He survived." The doctor smiled, "He'll live."
Yuki's body went limp and if not for the orderlies that held him, would have hit the floor in a stupor.
"He's...alive?"
The doctor nodded and turned sideways giving Yuki sight of his lovers body as the nurses raised the bed to a sitting position and gorgeous violet eyes looked dazedly around.
"Shu-" Getting a surge of adrenaline, Yuki pulled himself free from the orderlies and rushed over to Shuichi.
The orderlies made to move but the doctor stopped them.
"Shu...oh god Shu..." Yuki whispered, trembling hands reached out to cradle his lovers face. "How..how can this be?"
"It seems, he had a little life in him yet." The doctor said pleasently. He turned to the nurses, "Come, let's leave them be for now."
Even as they left, Yuki ignored them, his sole concentration on his lover. "Shuichi..."
Shuichi looked dazed, eyes slightly unfocused but even then, he was staring at Yuki with total adoration.
"I love you." Yuki said softly, pressing a kiss to Shuichi's temple. "I love you so much I thought I lost you, and I-I was lost." He trailed the back of his hand down Shu's cheek and gently over his bruised lips. "I'm nothing without you." He said again, not bothering to fight the tears that fled from his eyes. "Don't leave me ever again please," Yuki whispered, pressing a delicate kiss to Shuich's swollen bruised ones. "I want to be with you...always."
If Shuichi could have smiled, he would have. It hurt to move and all he could do to let Yuki know that he understood, was simply nodd and weakly try to press a kiss to Yuki's lips.
This time Yuki sobbed as he leaned into the kiss. Pulling Shuichi's head into an embrace, he buried his face in the soft pink locks of his lover and laughed softly.
"Thank you." He said to no one in particular.
"Thank you."
-fin-
7maxwell
Gravitation: YukixShuichi
Sap, based on the lyrics by Kate Bush, 'This Woman's Work'
-cident...-black snow...-car turned over...-steep cliff...-severly injured...-mother did not survive...-say goodbye...-son will not last the night...-sorry. My condolences...-is that the lover?...-poor soul...
-I'm sorry, but he probably won't last the night. If he does, it's by miracle alone. It's best to be realistic about this and prepare yourself. -say goodbye while you have the chance.
Yuki's hands shook as he stood outside the ICU room where Shuichi lay, waiting for the shinigami that would take his life. Take him away from his family, his friends, his dreams and hopes.
From him.
Opening the door, Yuki stepped in and closed it softly behind him. The sound of Shu's slow heart beat sent a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. The sight of his lover covered in bandages and attached to several tubes forced a slight gasp past the lump in his throat, making it difficult for Yuki to breathe.
Shuichi looked so small and broken on that sterile bed that Yuki just wanted to take his lover into his arms and carry him away from this lonely place. Shuichi would want that instead. He never did like hospitals, always claiming that they never did anything but remind him of death. Shuichi wouldn't want to die here but...Yuki had no choice.
Sighing, he ran a tired hand through his disheveled hair and took seat beside the bed.
Hesitantly he reached a shaky hand out to touch Shuichi's cold clammy one. Cradling his lovers hand, Yuki sat there for some time, the sound of his lovers respirator as it forced air through his once powerful lungs, the only sound in the room. Settling himself for what he knew was going to be a long night, Yuki took in the surroundings in the small room. The accident happened so quickly, so unexpectedly that no one had time to prepare, no time for flowers or farewells.
A loud beep made him look at Shu's heart monitor and for a moment he hoped, almost believed that it was normal, but Shu's heart remained low, slow...weak.
Releasing a shuddering breathe he didn't know he held, Yuki sat back in the small plastic chair, his hand still holding Shuichi's. A small picture frame caught his attention and he lifted it with his free hand. It was a picture of Shuichi's mother. She didn't survive the accident, in fact from what paramedics have said, it seemed as if she gave herself to save her son's life. Shielding him with her body from the bitter cold as they waited in the snow for help to arrive.
Her remaining body heat saved Shuichi. Shuichi would have died out in the snow if not for this woman.
"Thank you." Yuki whispered, surprised to hear himself say it. He set the picture frame back on the small bedside table. Looking back to Shuichi, he could clearly see where his lover inherited his looks. Like mother like son, he thought sadly.
--Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.--
Yuki looked at the clock, the numbers showing eight and twenty two in the evening, but outside it looked as if it was past the witching hour. It was going to be a long night indeed.
Yuki hated waiting. It left him time to think. Things he didn't want to think about usually crept up to him when he had to wait and right now the only thing that he could think of was his lost lover...the lover he was loosing.
The beating heart of his cold soul.
He released Shuichi's hand to grab his hair as the memories started to run through his mind.
"Shu...please..."
--I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.--
///
"Yuki can you take me to my parent's house tonight please?" Shuichi asked, his big violet eyes giving Yuki his best puppy imitation.
"I can't Shu, I have a deadline you know that." Yuki said tiredly. "Can't you get Hiro to take you?"
Shu bowed his head and took a few steps back. "No. He's already gone home himself." Shu then looked outside the window at the bleak darkness that had swallowed the afternoon. "I guess I can call my mom..."
"I'm sorry." Yuki said, looking out the window as well.
"I know." Shuichi smiled at him, "Let me go call her."
Yuki nodded, his eyes following Shuichi's form as he left the office. The door closed with a 'click' and amber eyes returned to stare out the window. It was dark and dreary, it looked...dangerous.
///
--I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking--
"I shouldn't have let you go. Or I should have at least taken you." Yuki said, his voice quavering, "At least that way we could have been together."
--Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.--
///
Tears fell from those beautiful violet eyes and it nearly broke Yuki's heart. "Tell me you love me? Why can't you just say it?" Shuichi clenched his fingers around a pristine white shirt. "Please, just...just once I want to hear it from your lips."
Shuichi wept.
Of all the times that his lover had cried, this was one of the few times that he actually wept real tears and it pulled at the strings of Yuki's entire being.
He stared into those sad eyes that longed for the affection he so rightfully deserved, but instead of saying what he really wanted to say, those three little words Shuichi yearned for, Yuki simply pressed his lips against Shuichi's.
Shuichi sobbed but leaned into the kiss anyway.
///
"I love you." Yuki whimpered, "I love you Shuichi...please...don't..." Yuki broke, a single tear trailing down his pale cheek.
--Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.--
////
"Ne Yuki look at the sky, isn't it beautiful?" Shuichi said pointing to the glittering stars that sparkled above them.
'Not as much as you' Yuki thought as he watched his lover spin himself in round and round, arms extended, laughing at the snow flakes that started to fall on his etheral face.
"Look Yuki, it's snowing!"
The novelist looked up and sure enough the sky started showering them with little white kisses.
"Isn't it wonderful?" Shuichi said in awe.
Smiling to himself, Yuki strode up to his lover and wrapped his arms around him. "It is." He said, more to Shuichi then to the sky. "It's really...marvelous."
They looked into each others eyes briefly before Yuki lowered his lips to smaller soft ones. "Truly...magnificent."
///
--Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.--
Closing his eyes, Yuki wept softly at first then louder and louder until he pressed his hand over his mouth to silence the wails that longed to come out openly.
--I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.--
"Please Shu..." He begged, "Please fight this, don't go please."
--I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking--
"If you fight this...I promise I'll be better. If you give me a second chance I'll show you...I'll tell you I love you. I just...please..."
--Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.--
"God..." Yuki began. "Please, please...please god please give me another chance. Give us another chance and I promise to get it right this time. I'll do everything better, I..."
The alarm next to him went off and Yuki jumped. 'No, god please not yet, give me some more time!' Yuki prayed, but it was only the small clock beside him.
It was midnight.
More tears slipped down Yuki's cheeks, "please god, I need him."
--Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.--
-can't be...-truly impossible...-no way...-the entire night...-the both of them?...-the poor dear...-how do we tell him?...-leave him be...
Yuki woke to the sounds of murmuring outside of the ICU. He sat up and groaned at the protest his neck muscles gave him for sleeping in a slumped position.
Light filtered in through the lacy curtains of the window and Yuki's eyes flew from window to Shuichi's pale body. His heart monitor was unplugged and so was the respirator that kept him alive.
'No' he thought, 'I..I slept through it. Shuichi...no...' Getting up, pain or no pain, Yuki pressed his forhead to his lovers and cried silently.
He never got to see Shuichi's last moments.
"Mr. Uesugi?"
Yuki ignored him. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want it confirmed.
"Mr. Uesugi?"
The voice persisted and Yuki continued to cry.
"Mr. Uesugi please, I need to examine Mr. Shindou."
Why? He already passed. What more confirmation did they need?
He didn't move, refused to even as orderlies forced him away.
"No, please just leave him alone. Let him rest in peace!" Yuki shouted, angry at them for touching Shuichi. No one was allowed to touch him. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?
"Mr. Uesugi if you would please calm down-"
"No, leave him alone. You bastards let him die! Just leave him alone! Don't touch him!" Yuki yelled, screamed at them.
"Mr. Uesugi please-"
"Leave him alone!"
"Mr. Uesugi!"
"NO!" Yuki fought back but to no avail.
"He's not dead."
That stopped him cold.
"W-What?"
"Mr. Shindou's not dead. He survived." The doctor smiled, "He'll live."
Yuki's body went limp and if not for the orderlies that held him, would have hit the floor in a stupor.
"He's...alive?"
The doctor nodded and turned sideways giving Yuki sight of his lovers body as the nurses raised the bed to a sitting position and gorgeous violet eyes looked dazedly around.
"Shu-" Getting a surge of adrenaline, Yuki pulled himself free from the orderlies and rushed over to Shuichi.
The orderlies made to move but the doctor stopped them.
"Shu...oh god Shu..." Yuki whispered, trembling hands reached out to cradle his lovers face. "How..how can this be?"
"It seems, he had a little life in him yet." The doctor said pleasently. He turned to the nurses, "Come, let's leave them be for now."
Even as they left, Yuki ignored them, his sole concentration on his lover. "Shuichi..."
Shuichi looked dazed, eyes slightly unfocused but even then, he was staring at Yuki with total adoration.
"I love you." Yuki said softly, pressing a kiss to Shuichi's temple. "I love you so much I thought I lost you, and I-I was lost." He trailed the back of his hand down Shu's cheek and gently over his bruised lips. "I'm nothing without you." He said again, not bothering to fight the tears that fled from his eyes. "Don't leave me ever again please," Yuki whispered, pressing a delicate kiss to Shuich's swollen bruised ones. "I want to be with you...always."
If Shuichi could have smiled, he would have. It hurt to move and all he could do to let Yuki know that he understood, was simply nodd and weakly try to press a kiss to Yuki's lips.
This time Yuki sobbed as he leaned into the kiss. Pulling Shuichi's head into an embrace, he buried his face in the soft pink locks of his lover and laughed softly.
"Thank you." He said to no one in particular.
"Thank you."
-fin-