Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Because of You ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

“Because of You”

Sequel to: “This I Promise You”

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Story summary: A new baby. An autobiography. A funeral. A pregnancy. A shocking discovery and a woman with a grudge.

Chapter summary: The Uesugi-Shindou clan has finally made it to Shuichi's parent's house. While everyone else is sleeping, Eiri and Shuichi spend some well deserved quality time together…talking.

Warning: Angst/death, m-preg, language, sex, smoking

 

***

 

Chapter 3

 

A stream of white smoke spiraled into the evening air, dispersing into a thin cloud before vanishing all together. On the steps leading down from the Shindou house to the street, Eiri leaned casually against the stone wall with a sigh and tapped the gathering ashes off the tip of his cigarette. Taking one last puff, the tip glowing eerily in the gathering darkness, he ground the butt against the stone steps just as the front door opened behind him.

 

He heard a deep, heavy sigh from behind him. “Eiri, I wish you wouldn't,” Shuichi said as he sat down besides his husband.

 

Eiri said nothing and kept staring out over the city. He gave up smoking several years before Shuichi and he married. He had not so much as looked at another cigarette since, but here he was, back in the habit. If asked, he would not be able to tell you when he started smoking again. It was just something that happened gradually over the last couple of months. Though he made sure he did not smoke in the house or around the children. He was not stupid. He knew the risks that came with smoking and was not about to endanger his family just to support a disgusting habit he could not seem to shake.

 

Shuichi sighed and shook his head. He knew better than to argue with his husband on this issue. On this one topic, Eiri was an immoveable force. Shuichi loved Eiri and accepted him no matter what, except for his smoking habit. That smell had engrained itself into everything in the apartment, even him and he had never smoked a day in his life. It was worse in the winter when the smell of cigarette smoke would cling to Eiri like cologne. Sometimes it was just so nauseating, especially when they kissed and all Shuichi could taste was the cigarette Eiri just had, but over time Shuichi became used to the smell, accustomed to its lingering aroma. And while he was not immune or in love with the smell, it became linked in his mind to the man he loved. Part of him was glad that Eiri took smoking back up. It was like all was right with the world once again or as if he finally came home after being away for so long. It was strange, but true.

 

Sighing contently, Shuichi rested his head against his husband's shoulder, a smile on his face. “I love you, Eiri,” he whispered.

 

Eiri snorted. “What you do this time?” he asked, draping an arm around Shuichi's shoulders, hugging the other man closer.

 

“Hey!” Shuichi protested. His head shot up, throwing Eiri's arm off him. Shuichi threw his husband a death glare, or tired to, but failed miserably as a large grin spread across his face. “Can't I just tell you that I love you without having an ulterior motive? I've been doing it for almost twenty years, ya know.”

 

“'Ulterior motive'?” Eiri asked with a raised eyebrow. “That's a pretty big phrase for you.”

 

“Shut up!” Shuichi laughed, slapping his husband again. “You're so mean!”

 

“Yep and you love me for it.” Eiri hugged his arm around Shuichi's shoulders and pulled him down next to him once again. His side was cold without Shuichi there. “Oh and lately you haven't told me you love me without having either done something or wanting something.”

 

“What? That's not true. When have I ever done that?”

 

“Hm. Let me see,” Eiri contemplated. “Could it be when you went out and got your license and then a couple months later bought a car? All without my knowing about it?”

 

Shuichi blushed.

 

A couple of years ago, he finally gained the courage to get his driving license. Getting his learner's permit was easier than he thought it would be. For the first time in his life, he actually past a test. The next day, he called Hiro and after a lot of begging and gravelling, finally convinced his best friend to come up for a visit and teach him how to actually work a car. The only thing he knew how to do was turn it on. He could have gone to any number of driving schools, but this way, he knew his instructor would not talk. Shuichi had never been so scared in his life! But his fright turned out to be unfounded. It took a little getting used to feel comfortable behind the wheel, but once he was he caught on fast and soon was racing down the streets of Japan. A month later, he made an appointment to take the road test and actually passed, much to his surprise. The only problems he seemed to have was his inability to parallel park, park straight and he seemed to have a lead foot. The latter Shuichi knew he got from Eiri. But he was getting better.

 

To say Eiri was just a tad bit angry when Shuichi came home and told him the news would be an understatement. The blond writer was livid! Before “the incident” Eiri worried about Shuichi driving. He was not entirely stable to begin with and to have him behind the wheel in a place as crazy as Japan? That was just not happening. Then afterwards, Eiri worried even more. What if his legs gave out when he in the middle of driving? That was not something he wanted to even think about.

 

A month later when Eiri left for a meeting with Mizuki, Shuichi grabbed the twins, called a taxi and went to pick up the car he bought right after he passed his road test- with help from Hiro of course. What he picked out was a fuchsia colored Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IV RS. The salesman said something about it having four wheel drive and nearly three-hundred horse power and a bunch of other things. Whatever. It was just a very cool looking vehicle in a not so common color. Eiri was impressed at his choice and even complimented him on it…that is, after he cooled down enough to actually think straight.

 

Both times, Shuichi crept quietly back into the house and slipped up to an unsuspecting Eiri, hugged him tightly and professed his love for the older man…only to tell him when he dropped his guard what he did.

 

“That was like three years ago, Eiri,” Shuichi reminded his husband, still blushing.

 

“And?”

 

“And it was the first and only time I ever did that.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

“You know so.”

 

“Really.”

 

“Hey, you guys are the ones that're always telling me it's impossible for me to lie.”

 

That was true. Eiri stared down at his husband's glossy black hair. “You think you're so smart.”

 

“Nope,” the singer denied. “I know I am.”

 

Eiri blinked, momentarily speechless. Finally, he snorted and shook his head. “You're an idiot,” he told his husband affectionately.

 

“Hey, who's more of an idiot? The idiot or the moron who falls in love with the idiot?”

 

“What? Are you a philosopher, now?” Eiri chuckled.

 

Shuichi giggled. “I'm that and much more.”

 

“What?” Eiri chuckled, shaking his head again. “You really are an idiot.”

 

“Nope. Just s-m-r-t.”

 

“Just…what? I think you've grown stupid from lack of sleep.”

 

As if it had been planned, Shuichi gave a loud yawn. “No,” he shook his head, yawning. “It was the unofficial slogan of my high school debate team. `S-m-r-t. We are so smart. S-m-r-t,'” Shuichi sang.

 

Despite his best efforts, Eiri started chuckling. Oh brother, he thought with a quick shake of his head.

 

The two lovers sat in comfortable silence in each other's arms.

 

“Are the boys asleep?” Eiri asked after several minutes.

 

Shuichi nodded, wrapping his arms around Eiri's waist. He snickered. “They were like zombies.”

 

“I can imagine.”

 

They arrived at Shuichi's parent's house right before dinner.

 

Thankfully, the long drive to Tokyo had not been as hectic as he thought it was going to be. Keitaro brought along several books and immersed himself in those. The kid was practically a genius- well, that was a given seeing he took after his father- and was currently reading “Robinson Crusoe” and “Treasure Island”. Shuichi had never even heard of those books.

 

A year ago, they purchased the SUV and had a DVD player installed for the boys. It was to keep the boys occupied on long road trips. He was now glad he had installed it because Kane spent the whole trip watching movies. Kira slept for most of the trip. So the car ride had been relatively peaceful, especially after Shuichi fell asleep.

 

After dinner, Kira decided that he was hungry. So while Shuichi fed him, Keitaro and Kane went out back to play with Maiko's two children- Chiaki who was now seven and Subaru who was two. Apparently, that coupled with the long car ride had really taken its toll on the boys.

 

“I don't know what to say to her,” Shuichi said, breaking the silence.

 

Without even asking, Eiri knew who Shuichi was referring to. “Sometimes there's nothing to say,” Eiri answered. “These things happen.”

 

Shuichi sighed heavily. “I know. It's just that as much as I teased Maiko about her `pansy boyfriend' in high school, I really thought they made a cute couple.” He chuckled. “I mean, the guy put his job as student body president on the line for Hiro and I our senior year.”

 

“Hm. I remember.” Eiri planted a chaste kiss on his husband's head. “I thought he was a pretty okay guy, but like I said, things happen. People change. It's not like it was when our grandparents or great grandparents were our age where divorce was not something you even thought about. Nowadays, your spouse steps out of line once and he's kicked to the curb, but that's your sister's prerogative.”

 

“I know,” Shuichi sighed. “It's just that I think she's being too hasty, ya know? I mean, I know how she feels. We aren't exactly the poster children for the perfect relationship ourselves.”

 

Eiri snorted. That was an understatement.

 

“I mean, when we first became lovers, I wasn't exactly your only one.” Shuichi poked Eiri in the side. He had the satisfaction of seeing the man blush out of the corner of his eye. “I hated that, but I put up with it because I loved you so much and didn't want to lose you, but eventually, you kicked all those bimbos to the curb and I got you all to myself.” He lifted his head and stared at his husband, his eyes hard and screaming “mine.”

 

Eiri chuckled and kissed the tip of Shuichi's nose. He chuckled harder when he saw the singer flush with embarrassment.

 

“We've been through so much crap,” Shuichi continued, resting his head against Eiri's chest. “But despite the zillion bumps in the road-.”

 

“More like mountains,” Eiri snorted.

 

Shuichi giggled. “Despite the zillions of mountains in the road, we overcame everything…”

 

“Yes, we did,” Eiri agreed, “but your sister is not us.”

 

Shuichi pulled away from Eiri. “But-!”

 

Eiri shook his head, feeling cold now that Shuichi was sitting up. “Shu, if two people are meant to be together, then come hell or high water, nothing will keep them apart. They'll be able to work through anything, but if they aren't able to or unwilling to, then they really aren't meant to be together.”

 

Shuichi sighed heavily and returned to his place against his husband, much to Eiri's satisfaction. “I just want her to be as happy as we are,” he whispered.

 

“I know, Shu-chan,” Eiri whispered back.

 

Again, silence descended down around them. Talking about Maiko's sudden separation from her husband and high school sweetheart got him thinking about Shuichi's grandfather.

 

“Hey, Shu?” Eiri called softly, breaking the silence.

 

“Hm.”

 

It sounded like Shuichi was falling asleep. He should just let him rest. He sure needed it, but this was something Eiri had put off since last night, or very early this morning if you wanted to get technical. Not knowing was driving him crazy. “Why was this the first time I've ever heard of your grandfather?”

 

Shuichi went tense against him.

 

“Shuichi?”

 

Shuichi's eyes filled with tears as a renewed surge of sadness and despair washed over him. He had never been one to fight his emotions and he was not about to start now. His chest felt tight and his heart heavy as a droplet of water rolled down his face. He took a shuttered breath and tightened his hold on his husband.

 

Eiri hugged Shuichi back. Truthfully, he has never lost anyone close to him, other than Kitazawa Yuki, which was something else entirely. He lost his mother when he was young, but could remember nothing about her. The closest experience in his life he could relate to was the time he broke up with Shuichi who ended up being kidnapped by K's crazy-ass wife and taken to New York City to join XMR Records.

 

He did not even know his husband had another grandfather. He met Grandfather Shindou before he passed away from an inoperable brain tumor. The man had been very open and accepting of their relationship. Though he had taken Eiri aside and pretty much threatened to have him castrated if he should ever hurt his grandson. This made him think Shuichi had not been on the best of terms with his grandfather Todono. He wondered what happened to cause such a drift between them.

 

“Ya know, people were always telling me that I looked like him,” Shuichi said, breaking the silence. His voice was soft and thick.

 

Eiri was not sure what to say to that, but he found himself saying, “Guess that means that Kira looks like him, huh?”

 

A laugh burst out of Shuichi. Sniffling, he nodded. “Yeah, guess so.” He was silent once again. Then, “I take after him in more than just looks, ya know.”

 

It took several seconds for him to get the full understanding of what Shuichi was implying. His eyes grew wide when he finally understood. “Oh, you mean…?”

 

Shuichi nodded, sniffing. “It was a source of embarrassment for him, though. So, he never talked about it.”

 

That was understandable. “What about you?”

 

Shuichi said nothing for several long seconds, before he finally shrugged. “I never really thought about it. I had other things to worry about.”

 

Eiri was not so sure that was the whole truth, but left it at that.

 

Suddenly, Shuichi giggled despite the ache in his heart and the tears rolling down his face. “Purple is a color you don't see in human eyes. In Western cultures, it's a sign of royalty.”

 

“It can also mean spirituality, metamorphosis, wisdom, cruelty, arrogance, sorrow and gay pride.”

 

It did not even surprise him that Eiri knew so much. “My grandfather always used to tell me that we got our purple eyes from our demon blood.”

 

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. “Demon blood?”

 

Shuichi nodded. A smile flickered on his face as joy over the memory warred with the deep well of sadness over the loss of such a great man. Fresh tears blurred his vision. As he tried to fight the urge to sob, his chest tightened and constricted. He cleared his throat and took a shuddering breath. “He always used to say…” he began, his voice tight. He cleared his voice once again. “There's a story,” he restarted, his voice stronger, “that's been passed down for centuries in my family. They say we come from a very rich and noble family, but one day,” he continued over Eiri's snort, “the only daughter of the Noble Lord came across an injured man near the stream just outside of town. He was near death, but she brought him home and nursed him back to health.”

 

“And this man,” Eiri interrupted, “had the most incredible purple eyes right?”

 

Shuichi nodded. “This man was absolutely gorgeous. With long, silky black hair and big purple eyes. He was tall, dark and extremely sexy.”

 

Eiri stared at his husband through narrowed eyes. “Sexy, huh?” he asked, trying to make his voice as nonchalant as possible. Though he must not have succeeded because Shuichi glanced up at him in surprise. A slow grin spread across his face. Eiri felt his heart leap at the sight. A smile definitely suited his lover better than those tears coursing down his face.

 

“Everybody at the castle was curious about this stranger. Who was he? Where did he come from? They thought he was some noblemen's son because of the silk robes he wore. They were expecting to get some reward for rescuing him. Maybe a joining of the two houses.”

 

Eiri nodded.

 

“But when the man finally woke up and they saw his purple eyes, everybody knew he was no son of a Noble Lord. He was a demon and was ordered to be executed. The girl was against that and argued, begged and cried to her father to spare this man's life. Finally he relented,” Shuichi continued, settling back against Eiri, “but everyone was still a little wary of him. When he was well enough, he began doing odd jobs to pay them back for taking care of him. The first time he traveled into town, people were afraid of him because of his eyes. Talk that he was a demon spread across the town. Then a strange illness swept through the countryside and people blamed him. They claimed everything had been fine before he showed up. The girl, who had fallen in love with him by this time, tried to speak reason with the people, that he had nothing to do with the sickness and that it was unfair to blame him because he was new and looked different, but they would not hear it. They formed a posse and went after him, determined to have a sacrifice. The girl raced home and she and the man vanished into the night.”

 

Silence met the end of Shuichi's tale.

 

Eiri had to admit that as cutesy and full of fluff as that story sounded, it sounded like it would make a good story. He filed it away for later.

 

The sound of familiar hiccup-sobbing snapped him out of his thoughts. “Shuichi?”

 

Shuichi's face crumbled as tears washed down his face. The ache in his heart opened up and swallowed him whole. Shuichi stood up and straddled his husband's lap, wrapping his arms tightly around Eiri's waist and buried his wet face in his chest. “I miss him so much,” Shuichi sobbed.

 

Eiri stroked Shuichi's silken black hair, hugging him back. Rocking them back and forth, he cooed softly to his devastated husband. “Shh. It's okay, Shu-chan.” He could spew the same old clichéd crap that was meant to comfort you, but did nothing more than make you feel even more miserable than you already were, but decided to spare his husband all that nonsense. Besides, he had never been any good at comforting people. It always made him feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Instead, he commanded softly, “Tell me about him.”

 

Shuichi sniffed and snuggled against his lover and partner. “Grandpa,” he sobbed. “Todono Ranmaru was a superman above men. Hard on the outside, but warm and fuzzy with a heart of gold on the inside,” he choked out. He sniffled. “As the head of the Todono family, he was proud and stuck in the old traditional, honor bound ways. He was hard and stern, with a hot temper. He pressured and pushed you almost to the brink of insanity to get you out there and do something with your life.”

 

“Sounds like my father.”

 

Shuichi sobbed out a laugh. “Yeah, but all he wanted was for us to be independent, well-off and get ahead in life, not be left behind.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“But as hard as he was, he also had a softer side. He was like a second father to me,” Shuichi squeaked, his voice tight. He cleared his throat. “The man actually taught me how to play the piano.”

 

Eiri raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Really?” He was not sure why that surprised him. Of course, Shuichi would have had a sensei. Eiri was not sure what he had been expecting, but learning a man who sounded so tough had taught his grandson how to play the piano was not it.

 

“We'd give little concerts at family get-togethers.” He giggled lightly as he remembered some of them. “We'd go over and have dinner at my grandparents place every Friday. We'd go to the amusement park each summer, go on picnics to watch the cherry blossoms in the spring, go to the temple and pray regularly. I'd drag Grandfather out shopping…”

 

Eiri chuckled. “So, it wasn't just me you tortured?”

 

Shuichi slapped the back of his husband's head playfully. “Jerk. Anyway, we'd play videogames and go the movies…We did everything together. If ever I needed to speak to someone or needed advice, I went to him.” His voice faded into a tight whisper. Shuichi breathed in deeply through the nose and out slowly through the mouth, his breath quivering.

 

“You sounded pretty close.”

 

“We were.” Shuichi pulled away from Eiri long enough to wipe his runny nose on the sleeve of his shirt.

 

“What happened?” Eiri asked his voice soft and non-threatening. He rubbed lazy circles on Shuichi's back.

 

“In high school, my mom eventually gave up on me ever going to college and becoming a doctor, or a lawyer or something.”

 

Eiri could not help it. He found himself chuckling. Shuichi? A doctor? Not in this lifetime. A lawyer? Hmm. Maybe. It was a possibility, but…

 

“She let me get a job and stay at home for free so that I could use my money for the band. She knew how much music meant to me. It's my life, had been for as far back as I can remember. It's in my blood.”

 

That was for damn sure.

 

“But my grandfather refused to give up. He wanted me to do something with a sure future.”

 

That definitely sounded like his father.

 

“My grandfather grew up loving music just like I did. He was a genius pianist. If he would have continued playing instead of falling to his father's wishes and going into business, he could have been one of the greatest pianists in the world.”

 

Eiri's brows shot up. “Wow. He was that good?”

 

Shuichi nodded against Eiri's shoulder, tightening his hold. “But his father didn't think there was a future in music. It was fine as a side project or hobby, but music did not put food on the table, a roof over your head or clothes on your back.”

 

Eiri snorted.

 

“It did not pay that mountain of bills you had or the two mortgages you have on the house.”

 

“In a way he was right,” Eiri confessed. “I mean, there is no guarantee in this business. You either succeed or you fall flat on your face. A lot of musicians just have one or two hits and then just disappear. Some never make it at all. Even if you do have a hit album or two, it doesn't mean you're going to instantly be one of the rich and famous.”

 

Shuichi nodded. “I know. That's why my grandfather wanted me to go into another more acceptable line of work.”

 

Ah, Eiri thought. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going.

 

“When he found out I was ranked second to last in the school and that I was failing everything but music and PE, he lost it.” Shuichi's vision blurred behind a new veil of tears. His jaw trembled. “He was angry that I was not taking school seriously. That I had no intention of following in his footsteps and become a successful businessman. We had a real bad row one night.”

 

Eiri's hold on him tightened.

 

Shuichi could remember that night as clearly as if it just happened. Fresh tears gushed down his face and a well of renewed sadness engulfed him. “It…was real bad.”

 

Eiri remained silent.

 

“It was really hard. We were so close,” Shuichi whispered. “He was like a second father to me and to have him say all those things…!” Shuichi took a shuddered breath. “It hurt. It really hurt.”

 

Eiri was curious as to what was exactly said between the two of them. Shuichi easily forgave wrongs that had been committed against him, much to his chagrin. So, for Shuichi to still hold a grudge after all these years, it must have been bad. As curious as he was, he did not want to put Shuichi through all that crap again.

 

Shuichi stared blankly at his parent's house, tears slowly traversing the well worn path down his cheeks. He played with the ends of Eiri's hair unconsciously. “It was like a cold war.” Shuichi laid his cheek on Eiri's shoulder. “After a while, my anger and hurt subsided enough for me to be able to think clearly. I wanted so badly to speak with my grandfather, ya know? But he absolutely refused to speak with me unless I was there to tell him I decided to do something worthwhile with my life instead of wasting it on music.”

 

It sounded like he was quoting.

 

“But then I met you and Bad Luck got singed and everything…”

 

“You had other things to occupy your time.”

 

Shuichi nodded.

 

“Sounds like you were running away.”

 

Running away? Shuichi thought about it. After he met Eiri and Bad Luck was singed, Shuichi threw himself into both. He suddenly did not have time for much else. All his time was occupied with trying to make both Bad Luck and his relationship with Eiri work. Running away? Seeing his time was so preoccupied with other things, he did not have time to deal with the fact that someone he thought of as a second father felt he was a disappointment.

 

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I guess so.”

 

He usually ran head first into things without thinking, but this one time, he had run away. He hid. He was so weak. He knew he had been. If he could go back and change things, he would.

 

“And you never spoke to him again?”

 

Shuichi tensed, then relaxed. He nodded slowly. “I did. Once more after that.”

 

“Really? When?”

 

“After we were ambushed on TV.”

 

“Ah.”

 

Unfortunately for Shuichi, only his sister and the people associated with Bad Luck had known about their relationship and when the media ambushed them one morning outside Eiri's old apartment, the rest of Japan suddenly knew. To say the least, his family had not to be too pleased about learning of their son's little secret from television.

 

“I tried one more time to talk to my grandfather. I went to see him, but once again he refused to see me.” Shuichi tightened his hold on Eiri once more as the memory came back. “This time, he didn't care what it was I had to say.” Shuichi burst into tears. Sobbing, he cried, “He said he no longer had a grandson!”

 

Eiri was dumbfounded. “What?”

 

“I was confused! I didn't understand!” He hiccupped. “I didn't believe my grandmother! So,” he sniffled, “I burst into the house and stormed into his study! I demanded to know what was going on! He…he said he didn't know me! That his grandson would never defy him! Not once, but twice!”

 

Eiri finally understood. “He didn't like the fact that you were gay.”

 

Shuichi hollowed. “That hurt worse than anything else!”

 

Eiri hugged Shuichi tightly. “What happened?” he asked around a lump in his throat. He felt tears in his eyes.

 

“I just stood there dumbfounded,” he sobbed. He scrubbed s hand over his tear filled eyes. “Finally, I bowed and said:

 

[“I'm sorry Grandfather. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you, that I couldn't be what you wanted me to be, but I'm not sorry for the choices I made in my life. I love singing and I love Yuki and I have no plans of giving either of them up.” Shuichi bowed, respectfully. There was a trickle of tears rolling silently down his face. “Goodbye, Grandfather.”]

 

And I left. That was the last time I ever saw him!”

 

The night was filled with the sounds of muffled heart wrenching sobs that broke ones heart just listening to them. Tears of sympathy spilled freely down Eiri's face and he held his lover tightly.

 

*

 

Neither knew how much time had passed when Shuichi's tears began to slow and his sobs started to subside. Eiri's arms and back ached; his legs had fallen asleep and he needed a cigarette. Shuichi lay draped across him. The baka felt like he weighed a million tons. His breathing had slowed and was beginning to even out. He was falling asleep. As much as Eiri hated to do it, he would have to wake Shuichi up in order for them to go to bed. There was no way he would be able to carry him inside and upstairs. He opened his mouth to wake him up, but Shuichi beat him to it by mumbling something softly.

 

“What?”

 

“He called last week.”

 

“Who?” Eiri asked, confused.

 

“My grandfather.”

 

Eiri blinked. “What do you mean he called?”

 

“My mom gave him our number and he left me a message. I erased it before you could hear it,” he mumbled. Shuichi sighed and cuddled closer.

 

Eiri drew his brows together. “What did he want?”

 

“Don't know. He wanted to talk.”

 

“Did you call him back?”

 

“No.”

 

“What? Why the hell not?”

 

“Don't know.”

 

“Shu,” Eiri sighed.

 

Shuichi sniffled. His jaw trembled as a fresh wave of tears stung his eyes. “I wish I had,” he sobbed. His chest felt tight as a wave of guilt washed over him. “Why didn't I? Why Eiri? I could've been here when he…I could've gotten the chance to…Why?”

 

He feels guilty, Eiri realized. That was why Shuichi was so upset over his grandfather's death. Shuichi must be feeling that if he had called his grandfather back instead of erasing the message and doing nothing, he would have gotten the chance to see him one last time. He would have had the chance to work things out. They might have been able to come to some sort of understanding. It was one of those “what if” scenarios.

 

“Maybe you were scared,” Eiri answered before he had time to think about it.

 

Shuichi pulled back and searched his lover's face. “Of what?” he sobbed, tears coursing down his face.

 

Eiri shrugged. “You haven't seen him in how many years?” Eiri fingered Shuichi's hair. “Nobody could blame you for being scared about facing him after all these years, especially after the way the two of you parted. Your grandfather disowned you and all because you followed your heart and not the leader. Twenty years is a long time, Shu.”

 

“But-“

 

Eiri hushed him by placing his finger over those soft, kissable lips. “Stop it, Shu. You have nothing to feel guilty about, okay? Remember what I said earlier. Things happen.”

 

“Yeah, but-“

 

“You didn't exactly part on the best of terms, did you?”

 

Shuichi shook his head, remembering that day.

 

“You haven't seen or heard from him in almost twenty years and then he calls you up, out of the blue?” He shook his head. “Anybody in your shoes would need some time to digest everything.”

 

Shuichi sat back and searched his partner's face. A stray tear slipped down his face. “Really?”

 

Eiri smiled tenderly. He cupped Shuichi cheek and nodded. “Yes, really.”

 

Shuichi leaned into the touch and his tears came faster down his face. He did not know why, but suddenly his chest was not as tight. An invisible knot seemed to loosen inside of him. With a sob, he flung himself at his husband and hugged him tight. “Thank you, Eiri,” he whispered. He giggled through his tears as he felt the writer shudder. Sensitive ear. Suddenly an idea formed. He molded his body against his husband's chest and breathed huskily, “I think it's time to go to bed.”

 

Again Eiri shuddered. He felt his body tighten and throbbing with desire. There was no need to tell him twice. Eiri stood up with Shuichi still strapped to him like a koala and carried him inside the house, shutting and locking the door behind him.

 

***